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Help:she Made Me Who I Am - Romance - Nairaland

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Help:she Made Me Who I Am by raphretle: 8:32pm On Mar 25
I have dated this lady for 5 years now, we are still dating.. we met during our undergraduate days, she has been a good person to me, very kind and supportive..
Here is the problem : All her family members know me.. Infact am like a son to them cause they do call on me for errands that need quick response, Infact her uncles(her dad is late n her mum got married) trust me wt money than her brothers ..Cuz she stays with her uncle..

After my NYSC, her uncle helped me secure a job with the highest academic Institution in Nigeria (NIPSS) ... Now they expect me to marry their daughter but to be frank I don't love the lady... I don't know how to just make her go away. I just want to avoid been controlled by her family, ... I tried to set her up so I could have something to hold on for the breakup to avoid her family's anger and any form of guilt.. but I end up pitying her and forgive her instead... I know they tried for me,i owe them alot..But how to get rid of her in an honorable way is what I don't know.....
You can call it wickedness if you like,but just give me the advice I need..
Ladies and Gentlemen Help a brother...

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by phintohlar(f): 8:37pm On Mar 25
And which baga dare call u wicked? No marry woman out of pity oo, the ones wey Marry out of love sef never enjoy am finish na out of pity con remain. Why did u go into a relationship with the lady gan sef in the 1st place if no be say something dey worry u.

30 Likes

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by Actuarydeji(m): 8:37pm On Mar 25
You're an ingrate! When you're showing wrong feelings for their daughter, they thought their daughter has seen a responsible guy and that's why they invested on you. Men usually depicts their real character once they have good source of income. Malu like you, you better marry her now before Sango fire you

82 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by Davash222(m): 8:40pm On Mar 25
Obviously, you used the girl as a ladder to get to where you are today.

What are the things that are stopping you from loving her?? You can always help her to become the woman of your dream.

No one is perfect or complete. It rains everywhere.

Be wise.

49 Likes

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by daddytime(m): 8:40pm On Mar 25
Okay young man I'm that Uncle you thought was old school and couldn't be on a forum like this...

Now listen up and listen up real good..

How about we start off by you first returning the job I helped you with including every penny of salaries and allowances till date before we now proceed to the second most important of all and that is...

Get a calculator and start calculating the number of times you bleeped my dear niece...include the times you came and never did. When you have a figure I'll tell you what amount to multiply it by...

So you think you would use us all and sell my niece a dummy hope. ..you must be joking my friend...

You two die here....

62 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by tescoman90: 8:54pm On Mar 25
daddytime:
Okay young man I'm that Uncle you thought was old school and couldn't be on a forum like this...

Now listen up and listen up real good..

How about we start off by you first returning the job I helped you with including every penny of salaries and allowances till date before we now proceed to the second most important of all and that is...

Get a calculator and start calculating the number of times you bleeped my dear niece...include the times you came and never did. When you have a figure I'll tell you what amount to multiply it by...

So you think you would use us all and sell my niece a dummy hope. ..you must be joking my friend...

You two die here....

Could this be real?

5 Likes

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by daddytime(m): 8:57pm On Mar 25
tescoman90:


Could this be real?

You don't know what you are kidding with just yet...

4 Likes

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by tescoman90: 9:00pm On Mar 25
daddytime:


You don't know what you are kidding with just yet...

I'm watching
Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by pcguru1(m): 9:00pm On Mar 25
raphretle:
I have dated this lady for 5 years now, we are still dating.. we met during our undergraduate days, she has been a good person to me, very kind and supportive..
Here is the problem : All her family members know me.. Infact am like a son to them cause they do call on me for errands that need quick response, Infact her uncles(her dad is late n her mum got married) trust me wt money than her brothers ..Cuz she stays with her uncle..

After my NYSC, her uncle helped me secure a job with the highest academic Institution in Nigeria (NIPSS) ... Now they expect me to marry their daughter but to be frank I don't love the lady... I don't know how to just make her go away... I tried to set her up so I could have something to hold on for the breakup to avoid her family's anger and any form of guilt.. but I end up pitying her and forgive her instead... I know they tried for me..But how to get rid of her in an honorable way is what I don't know...
You can call it wickedness if you like but just me the advice I need..
Ladies and Gentlemen Help a brother...

Eya poor girl. The next guy will now bear the brunt of another man's cowardice.

25 Likes

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by LuciferHeaven: 9:01pm On Mar 25
Give me her number & she will leave you by weekend.

6 Likes

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by raphretle: 9:03pm On Mar 25
phintohlar:
And which baga dare call u wicked? No marry woman out of pity oo, the ones wey Marry out of love sef never enjoy am finish na out of pity con remain. Why did u go into a relationship with the lady gan sef in the 1st place if no be say something dey worry u.
I loved her..so starting the relationship ain't a problem..
Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by badadvice(f): 9:03pm On Mar 25
Bro i'll advise you break your sim and just relocate to another city or if possible, country.
You cant comman destroy your future by marrying a lady out of pity and guilt.
You dont owe her "marriage".
All the things she and her family did, they did willingly and not under compulsion.

7 Likes

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by raphretle: 9:08pm On Mar 25
Actuarydeji:
You're an ingrate! When you're showing wrong feelings for their daughter, they thought their daughter has seen a responsible guy and that's why they invested on you. Men usually depicts their real character once they have good source of income. Malu like you, you better marry her now before Sango fire you
go n sleep...

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by Biglittlelois(f): 9:10pm On Mar 25
I pray never to meet someone like you in Jesus' name, amen.

53 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by raphretle: 9:11pm On Mar 25
daddytime:
Okay young man I'm that Uncle you thought was old school and couldn't be on a forum like this...

Now listen up and listen up real good..

How about we start off by you first returning the job I helped you with including every penny of salaries and allowances till date before we now proceed to the second most important of all and that is...

Get a calculator and start calculating the number of times you bleeped my dear niece...include the times you came and never did. When you have a figure I'll tell you what amount to multiply it by...

So you think you would use us all and sell my niece a dummy hope. ..you must be joking my friend...

You two die here....
Exactly what am trying to avoid, To be controlled by the family for giving me a job.
Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by SmellySperm(m): 9:27pm On Mar 25
bro am in ur shoe rytnow....but am now Happy because she just cheated on me and i now hv a backup to ditch her,happy me grin

8 Likes

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by Generalnomercy: 9:35pm On Mar 25
If you do that to her, you'll never hear cry of a baby in your house.


Go and ask people who did similar thing.

If you drop her, you'll never end well.

Forget all these people encouraging you not to marry her, when you'll pay the price they won't be there with you and you may end up going back to look for her but will she forgive you That's for the gods for now...


Find reasons to love her like before.

The family made you a finished product because of their daughter and you suddenly found another girl who didn't contribute anything to your well being.

Honestly a guy like you needs to be dealt with seriously.

30 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by kollinzgee(m): 9:37pm On Mar 25
in the first place how could you date someone you dont love for good 5years cmon bro.well as for me id rather stay with someone dat loves me wholeheartedly than marry a golddigging ,parasitc,liability all in the name of i love you .

i didnt love my current girlfriend at first i had another lady in mind,but considering the fact that the other lady was not as caring as my gf i left her for good life is too short to be chilling with people who dont care..

22 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by raphretle: 9:43pm On Mar 25
Generalnomercy:
If you do that to her, you'll never hear cry of a baby in your house.


Go and ask people who did similar thing.

If you drop her, you'll never end well.

Forget all these people encouraging you not to marry her, when you'll pay the price they won't be there with you and you may end up going back to look for her but will she forgive you That's for the gods for now...


Find reasons to love her like before.

The family made you a finished product because of their daughter and you suddenly found another girl who didn't contribute anything to your well being.

Honestly a guy like you needs to be dealt with seriously.

Superstitious believe....

1 Like

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by raphretle: 9:44pm On Mar 25
SmellySperm:
bro am in ur shoe rytnow....but am now Happy because she just cheated on me and i now hv a backup to ditch her,happy me grin

Congrats you made it
Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by akaahs(m): 10:04pm On Mar 25
raphretle:

Exactly what am trying to avoid, To be controlled by the family for giving me a job.
Common , don't tell us up aren't a man. Me , u and all Nairalander know u are a lier. U just using it to dump her. Karma ll surely visit u.

3 Likes

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by Originalsly: 10:17pm On Mar 25
raphretle:

Exactly what am trying to avoid, To be controlled by the family for giving me a job.

How is the family controlling you?... by expecting you to marry her I am not understanding...explain.
I advise you relocate farrrr away...... call them and let them know you can't marry someone you don't really love. Don't worry.... they will be happy they didn't bring a swine into their family. Personally..... you're a dangerous person... like living with a serpent... the type of guy that will stab someone in the back and claim the person wasn't looking. Life has a way.... karma is a bitch.I can't advise you to change..... that's your nature.

32 Likes

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by raphemmanuel(m): 10:30pm On Mar 25
Op raphretle, there is a big sense from what Generalnomercy told u.
If you break up with that girl u MIGHT not end well. ( I am not wishing bad please).
The mother, uncle that have invested on u and the girl won't be happy with u, and the may go extra miles to make sure they deal with u.

I wanna tell you a true story of what happened in my own area.
A guy fell in love with a girl, the girl so much love the guy that she invested on the guy to the extent that the guy opened a very popular school in my area and was driving a nice car.
But something happen, this girl was hoping to get married to this guy which lead her to keep investing on the guy so the both of them can live large.

This guy secretly engaged another girl in the absence of the girl that invested on him cos the girl travelled. The wedding card was out, everyone waiting on the day the guy will tie the knot.

This information get to the girl that have invested on this guy.
The next thing that we heard was the guy have been assassinated.
Though the assassins wasn't caught, but from the way the news was flying in my area, it was the girl that planned it.

That's karma for you.

But raphretle:
How will you date someone for good 5 years, u just wake up one morning and start saying u don't love the girl for no reasonable reason ?

Abey u don see another girl wey fine pass her.
OP I must tell you this: You are trying to light up a fire that may burn you, no put-on fire wey u no fit quench because now the uncle and mother are seriously involved.

If controlling you is ur major reason for not getting married to her, u can relocate to a far distance where the uncle and mother can't easily reach you if u marry the girl.

THIS IS MY PIECE OF ADVICE FOR YOU

28 Likes

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by Generalnomercy: 10:45pm On Mar 25
raphretle:

Superstitious believe....
Go ahead and do what you have decided.
Carry your problems alone.
When you become childless don't come here in the next 20 years to complain.

9 Likes

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by PrimadonnaO(f): 10:52pm On Mar 25
kollinzgee:
in first place how could you date someone you dont love for good 5years cmon bro.well as for me id rather stay with someone dat loves me wholeheartedly than marry a golddigging ,parasitc,liability all in the name of i love you .

i didnt love my current girlfriend at first i had another lady in mind,but considering the fact that the other lady was not as caring as my gf i left her for good life is too short to be chilling with people who dont care..


The number one question on my lips. I fear people who can mask things like that? He must have pretended to love her all those years... was why everyone warmed up to him.

OP, do what you want to do, but rest assured that you'll pay for it somehow.

15 Likes

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by Splinz(m): 11:10pm On Mar 25
raphretle:
...she has been a good person to me, very kind and supportive.

smiley

Then what exactly are you looking for? Thought most people readily praised such women to the high heavens and called them "wife material"?

Perhaps goodness and kindness is not enough. Just perhaps being supportive counts for nothing in the scheme of things. But what do I even know?

raphretle:
.

Ladies and Gentlemen Help a brother...

Okay.

Let it be known to you that, if you eventually breakup your relationship with this girl because you claimed you don't love her, then know for certainty that love will never be enough in any relationship.

Yes. What other virtues like goodness and kindness couldn't do, don't make the mistake of thinking love will do it.

5 Likes

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by Preshy561(f): 11:22pm On Mar 25
Lifeless man.
You will soon lose that job and go back to square one.
Ungrateful gold digger, you have seen a lady outside and you think the one you have isn't slaying enough for you.

I will continue to say this, don't ever date a broke guy, you don't know what they will become once they start seeing money.
Then, trying to help him financially is the worst mistake you will ever make Because, when the money starts coming, you will look outdated to him and he will then think that he needs slay queens in his life.
This is one of the reasons some of you will forever die poor, especially the gold digging idiots supporting him.


Ndi eriri eri.

10 Likes

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by raphretle: 11:33pm On Mar 25
raphemmanuel:
Op raphretle, there is a big sense from what Generalnomercy told u.
If you break up with that girl u MIGHT not end well. ( I am not wishing bad please).
The mother, uncle that have invested on u and the girl won't be happy with u, and the may go extra miles to make sure they deal with u.

I wanna tell you a true story of what happened in my own area.
A guy fell in love with a girl, the girl so much love the guy that she invested on the guy to the extent that the guy opened a very popular school in my area and was driving a nice car.
But something happen, this girl was hoping to get married to this guy which lead her to keep investing on the guy so the both of them can live large.

This guy secretly engaged another girl in the absence of the girl that invested on him cos the girl travelled. The wedding card was out, everyone waiting on the day the guy will tie the knot.

This information get to the girl that have invested on this guy.
The next thing that we heard was the guy have been assassinated.
Though the assassins wasn't caught, but from the way the news was flying in my area, it was the girl that planned it.

That's karma for you.

But raphretle:
How will you date someone for good 5 years, u just wake up one morning and start saying u don't love the girl for no reasonable reason ?

Abey u don see another girl wey fine pass her.
OP I must tell you this: You are trying to light up a fire that may burn you, no put-on fire wey u no fit quench because now the uncle and mother are seriously involved.

If controlling you is ur major reason for not getting married to her, u can relocate to a far distance where the uncle and mother can't easily reach you if u marry the girl.

THIS IS MY PIECE OF ADVICE FOR YOU

I have heard you.. thanks
but at the mention of this KARMA of a thing makes me feel somehow
Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by ike24: 11:39pm On Mar 25
raphretle:
I have dated this lady for 5 years now, we are still dating.. we met during our undergraduate days, she has been a good person to me, very kind and supportive..
Here is the problem : All her family members know me.. Infact am like a son to them cause they do call on me for errands that need quick response, Infact her uncles(her dad is late n her mum got married) trust me wt money than her brothers ..Cuz she stays with her uncle..

After my NYSC, her uncle helped me secure a job with the highest academic Institution in Nigeria (NIPSS) ... Now they expect me to marry their daughter but to be frank I don't love the lady... I don't know how to just make her go away. I just want to avoid been controlled by her family, ... I tried to set her up so I could have something to hold on for the breakup to avoid her family's anger and any form of guilt.. but I end up pitying her and forgive her instead... I know they tried for me,i owe them alot..But how to get rid of her in an honorable way is what I don't know.....
You can call it wickedness if you like,but just give me the advice I need..
Ladies and Gentlemen Help a brother...

If na woman u go call olosho , ingrate and so on. My brother why would u date some ones child for 5 years oga u done marry wife o . If u know what is good for u better go and find the love u once had for her o because karrma does not forget

5 Likes

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by raphemmanuel(m): 11:41pm On Mar 25
Preshy561:
Lifeless man.
You will soon lose that job and go back to square one.
Ungrateful gold digger, you have seen a lady outside and you think the one you have isn't slaying enough for you.

I will continue to say this, don't ever date a broke guy, you don't know what they will become once they start seeing money.
Then, trying to help him financially is the worst mistake you will ever make Because, when the money starts coming, you will look outdated to him and he will then think that he needs slay queens in his life.
This is one of the reasons some of you will forever die poor, especially the gold digging idiots supporting him.


Ndi eriri eri.
Preshy kilode?
Why your blood dey hot like this.
One thing u should note is that: All men are not the same, there are still responsible ones.
But for OP action or decision, I am totally against it.

Nne nwere nwayo biko!!

Modified:
Beside girls do the same, both male and female are guilty of this scrap.
Haven't heard about a guy investing so much on a girl with the intention to marry her only for the girls to wake-up one morning and call the guys attention that she is not dating again.
Infact the girls does this most.

So no party is safe. The only thing one have to do is to pray he/she gets responsible partner or mate

2 Likes

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by ike24: 11:42pm On Mar 25
raphretle:


Superstitious believe....


U even sabi speak english well karma no the speak any language only action

1 Like

Re: Help:she Made Me Who I Am by ike24: 11:44pm On Mar 25
Preshy561:
Lifeless man.
You will soon lose that job and go back to square one.
Ungrateful gold digger, you have seen a lady outside and you think the one you have isn't slaying enough for you.

I will continue to say this, don't ever date a broke guy, you don't know what they will become once they start seeing money.
Then, trying to help him financially is the worst mistake you will ever make Because, when the money starts coming, you will look outdated to him and he will then think that he needs slay queens in his life.
This is one of the reasons some of you will forever die poor, especially the gold digging idiots supporting him.


Ndi eriri eri.

Aunty u have so much hatred in ur heart u need JESUS

1 Like

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