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How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me - Romance - Nairaland

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How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by Gospeltruth01: 12:01pm On May 16
I’m in deep trauma right now, I feel like I made a very terrible mistake getting into this relationship four years ago..Now she doesn’t feel the same like she used, started 6months ago and we talked about it and she said she’d try to go back how things were but after 6months there really isn’t any real improvement. So I ended up the relationship because it seemed it really wouldn’t get any better and she didn’t even make any effort to keep it alive. I’m trying to have fun with other girls now but it’s still not working, one minute I’m doing fine and the next I’m thinking about her and feeling really bad. Deleted all the pictures we took together but the ones in my head still won’t go away. How do I get over this please. Call me a weakling you’re right, she makes me weak to my knees and right now I really do need as much help as I can get. Nobody’s made me happier in the past four years, four years of complete faithfulness to her..Her reason for not feeling the same way was that I didn’t text her for about 2weeks after we had some issues a long time ago. She said she learnt how to live without me in that period but right now I cannot seem to figure out how to continue without her in my life. I could easily tell everything I’ve done in this 6months has been a turn for her and that’s why I ended the relationship, I figured it’ll never get better but now I’m drowning and don’t know how to save myself

6 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by kunleweb: 12:02pm On May 16
I'll park here plz wink

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by SpyAC(m): 12:11pm On May 16
U need to grow up man, never loose sleep bcs of a mere mortal

10 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by catwalq(f): 12:11pm On May 16
Don't try to block the hurt. Feel it thoroughly,let it burn. Cry if you have to,only then can you really move past it. Just make sure when you stop hurting, you stop for good and don't go back to past feelings.

Holding it in will only prolong your healing process. Be strong, this too shall pass. grin grin

27 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by Gospeltruth01: 12:15pm On May 16
SpyAC:
U need to grow up man, never loose sleep bcs of a mere mortal
I really do embarassed

1 Like

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by SageMK(m): 12:15pm On May 16
She was a part of your intimate life for 4yrs, so it's only logical losing her hurts. You are only human after all.

Bro you are allowed to grief, cry, feel sad and accept the pain. Face all of this. Don't run away or try to conceal it.

It'll surely take time to heal.
But refusing to move on is not an option.

Don't let her part with your happiness. Never.
Hang out more and have fun with friends. Don't be idle.

Delete her contacts. Make room & give yourself space.

10 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by Gospeltruth01: 12:16pm On May 16
catwalq:
Don't try to block the hurt. Feel it thoroughly,let it burn. Cry if you have to,only then can you really move past it. Just make sure when you stop hurting, you stop for good and don't go back to past feelings.

Holding it in will only prolong your healing process. Be strong, this too shall pass. grin grin
Thanks... I really appreciate this
Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by donbachi(m): 12:19pm On May 16
The only known medicine for heartbreak,is to love again.

12 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by catwalq(f): 12:30pm On May 16
Gospeltruth01:
Thanks... I really appreciate this

You're most welcome.
One more thing ,take as much time as you need. Don't be in a hurry,you'd only be adding anxiety to your pain.

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by ladiesreject(m): 12:35pm On May 16
Potential front page story.

I'll park here
Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by MJBOLT(m): 12:37pm On May 16
you just broke up with a girl you dated for 4 years and you want to get over her immediately undecided how is that possible?

4 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by pocohantas(f): 12:40pm On May 16
Listen to Westlife...

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by kenddys(m): 1:10pm On May 16
pocohantas:
Listen to Westlife...
where have you been?

1 Like

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by cornel994(m): 1:26pm On May 16
Gospeltruth01:
I’m in deep trauma right now, I feel like I made a very terrible mistake getting into this relationship four years ago..Now she doesn’t feel the same like she used, started 6months ago and we talked about it and she said she’d try to go back how things were but after 6months there really isn’t any real improvement. So I ended up the relationship because it seemed it really wouldn’t get any better and she didn’t even make any effort to keep it alive. I’m trying to have fun with other girls now but it’s still not working, one minute I’m doing fine and the next I’m thinking about her and feeling really bad. Deleted all the pictures we took together but the ones in my head still won’t go away. How do I get over this please. Call me a weakling you’re right, she makes me weak to my knees and right now I really do need as much help as I can get. Nobody’s made me happier in the past four years, four years of complete faithfulness to her..Her reason for not feeling the same way was that I didn’t text her for about 2weeks after we had some issues a long time ago. She said she learnt how to live without me in that period but right now I cannot seem to figure out how to continue without her in my life. I could easily tell everything I’ve done in this 6months has been a turn for her and that’s why I ended the relationship, I figured it’ll never get better but now I’m drowning and don’t know how to save myself
the highest u can feel is the emotional pain u r going through right now, don't try to stop it, don't subdue it, cry and let the tears flow if u must. you'll be fine na just time be the enemy now. been there.
stay strong champ

4 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by Gospeltruth01: 2:01pm On May 16
cornel994:

the highest u can feel is the emotional pain u r going through right now, don't try to stop it, don't subdue it, cry and let the tears flow if u must. you'll be fine na just time be the enemy now. been there.
stay strong champ
Thanks bro. I really appreciate your comment. Each time I feel weak I’ll refer back to this thread for sure

6 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by Niyoda: 2:04pm On May 16
I was going to create a thread on how to move on from a 4 year long relationship this morning but decided to just keep my hurt to myself.
Everything in your post seem like what happened between my boyfriend and i.
The only difference is i know he's not hurting. He has a very cold heart.

I'm hurting badly and don't even have anyone to talk to as he's the only one i tell stuffs. I'm always thinking about him but the only consolation for me is i know i deserve more.

24 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by Mariangeles: 2:07pm On May 16
kunleweb:
I'll park here plz wink
You're always parking, I've noticed grin
Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by kunleweb: 2:10pm On May 16
Mariangeles:
You're always parking, I've noticed grin



Argh. Go get a wide aerial view. wink
Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by Gospeltruth01: 2:26pm On May 16
Niyoda:
I was going to create a thread on how to move on from a 4 year long relationship this morning but decided to just keep my hurt to myself.
Everything in your post seem like what happened between my boyfriend and i.
The only difference is i know he's not hurting. He has a very cold heart.

I'm hurting badly and don't even have anyone to talk to as he's the only one i tell stuffs. I'm always thinking about him but the only consolation for me is i know i deserve more.
We’re absolutely in the same position..She isn’t hurting at all, she’s become very cold hearted to me. Seems she’s been waiting for this to happen and I just know deep down it won’t get better and even talking to her now about it she doesn’t even make mention of it getting better at all.. I happen to be an introvert only child with very little friends so basically I’m bottling everything inside me and that’s what’s killing me the most because she’s been the one who has been my best friend who I talk to about everything for the past four years now. I think you’re even a step ahead of me because you know you deserve more, unfortunately I know I deserve more but it’s vague in my eyes right now because in the past 6months I’ve been treated like poo and called poo so bad that it gets to me that I began thinking less of myself. And that’s one reason why I ended it too, couldn’t continue with someone who thinks and calls me a dimwit and a disappointment at the slightest provocation...

And one tiny little bit of me now is still hoping she realizes and fix things. Never in my life have I accepted to be a weakling but with her I’m weak and pains me more because I don’t know how I came this far

4 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by chinchonglee: 2:31pm On May 16
Borrow 500k wit ur father's landed property.

Go to quilox.

Buy 2 ace of spades and one henessy vsop..

Drink some nd pour some on d floor.

Wen dey bring ur bills, i swear d heartbreak will runnaway..

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by pocohantas(f): 2:31pm On May 16
Niyoda:
I was going to create a thread on how to move on from a 4 year long relationship this morning but decided to just keep my hurt to myself.
Everything in your post seem like what happened between my boyfriend and i.
The only difference is i know he's not hurting. He has a very cold heart.

I'm hurting badly and don't even have anyone to talk to as he's the only one i tell stuffs. I'm always thinking about him but the only consolation for me is i know i deserve more.

Forgive me, but I found this very funny.
Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by jagaban001: 3:00pm On May 16
Am new here but what I can tell you is be happy you not married yet that it’s still relationship , there’s always a better option and better person . The pain is real that’s why we are humans and the pain is what’s going to make you a better man and guild you not to be weak again , stay strong and stay focus your own woman out there will never leave u for 6 days not to talk of 6 months . Move on because she has already do
Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by catwalq(f): 3:12pm On May 16
chinchonglee:
Borrow 500k wit ur father's landed property.

Go to quilox.

Buy 2 ace of spades and one henessy vsop..

Drink some nd pour some on d floor.

Wen dey bring ur bills, i swear d heartbreak will runnaway..



Sick people everywhere. I fell off my chair laffing

8 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by evil1: 3:18pm On May 16
dont worry bro with tym u will get over it.
u re simply attached to her cos u hv stayed too long in a particular zone.
Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by ibkayee(f): 3:24pm On May 16
Gospeltruth01:
I’m in deep trauma right now, I feel like I made a very terrible mistake getting into this relationship four years ago..Now she doesn’t feel the same like she used, started 6months ago and we talked about it and she said she’d try to go back how things were but after 6months there really isn’t any real improvement. So I ended up the relationship because it seemed it really wouldn’t get any better and she didn’t even make any effort to keep it alive. I’m trying to have fun with other girls now but it’s still not working, one minute I’m doing fine and the next I’m thinking about her and feeling really bad. Deleted all the pictures we took together but the ones in my head still won’t go away. How do I get over this please. Call me a weakling you’re right, she makes me weak to my knees and right now I really do need as much help as I can get. Nobody’s made me happier in the past four years, four years of complete faithfulness to her..Her reason for not feeling the same way was that I didn’t text her for about 2weeks after we had some issues a long time ago. She said she learnt how to live without me in that period but right now I cannot seem to figure out how to continue without her in my life. I could easily tell everything I’ve done in this 6months has been a turn for her and that’s why I ended the relationship, I figured it’ll never get better but now I’m drowning and don’t know how to save myself
Take heart dear.

Did the issue you had genuinely warrant you not speaking to her for 2 weeks? What was the issue about?

Sounds like she was already checked out of the relationship and used that as an excuse or your ghosting her was unwarranted and during that time she did indeed learn to live without you.

That’s the thing about disappearing on people, they usually either obsess over you or realise they’re perfectly ok without you.

I don’t know the details of what happened between you so I can’t say much else at the moment. Knowing what you disappeared on her for will really help.

Also, have you ignored her for that long before? Has she done the same to you?
Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by Gospeltruth01: 3:46pm On May 16
ibkayee:

Take heart dear.

Did the issue you had genuinely warrant you not speaking to her for 2 weeks? What was the issue about?

Sounds like she was already checked out of the relationship and used that as an excuse or your ghosting her was unwarranted and during that time she did indeed learn to live without you.

That’s the thing about disappearing on people, they usually either obsess over you or realise they’re perfectly ok without you.

I don’t know the details of what happened between you so I can’t say much else at the moment. Knowing what you disappeared on her for will really help.

Also, have you ignored her for that long before? Has she done the same to you?



We hadn’t gone that long without speaking tbh. At the time I got tired of always being the one who tries to fix little problems we had in the relationship, she’s always been very stubborn and never wants to accept she’s wrong. I needed to see if she was going to man up and try to work things out but she didn’t..I have always had to take the blame for everything, either I’m wrong or I’m overacting, everything comes down to me in the end..
Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by Gospeltruth01: 3:48pm On May 16
evil1:
dont worry bro with tym u will get over it.
u re simply attached to her cos u hv stayed too long in a particular zone.
Absolutely true bro. Thanks..
I realize I’m looking for a very quick way out but realize now that everything has to do with time.
Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by Airtimex(m): 3:57pm On May 16
It will be easy for her now but the regrets will come when she is unable to find someone who loves her like you...


all the same, she is not for you or maybe she is for you but her quest for new nigga won't let her focus on you...

fate don comot hand for our matter, that's why we have broken marriages up and down... angry


Wish her well and Move on bro

15 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by ibkayee(f): 4:02pm On May 16
Gospeltruth01:
We hadn’t gone that long without speaking tbh. At the time I got tired of always being the one who tries to fix little problems we had in the relationship, she’s always been very stubborn and never wants to accept she’s wrong. I needed to see if she was going to man up and try to work things out but she didn’t..I have always had to take the blame for everything, either I’m wrong or I’m overacting, everything comes down to me in the end..
Ok so you were the only one going out of your way to be the bigger person after disagreements and you were just trying to see if she would be the one to step up for a change?

If that’s the case, maybe your break up is low key a good thing? Breakups are tough but going by what you’ve said, who wants to be in a relationship where they’re constantly taking the blame for everything, just for the sake of ‘peace’? That sounds exhausting.

Getting over her probably won’t be a quick thing unfortunately, but it may help if you surround yourself with friends and do things to occupy yourself so it’s not all you’re thinking about. It’s not easy but it tends to get better with time.

7 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by united442(m): 4:21pm On May 16
Airtimex:
It will be easy for her now but the regrets will come when she is unable to find someone who loves her like you...


all the same, she is not for you or maybe she is for you but her quest for new nigga won't let her focus on you...

fate don comot hand for our matter, that's why we have broken marriages up and down... angry


Wish her well and Move on bro

a very short comment with millions of meanings and only the experienced and wise one will understand especially you first 2 paragraphgrin

you sound very wise,nice and very thoughtful of you..

hat off for you man..

8 Likes

Re: How Do I Get Over a Four Year Relationship. Please Help Me by united442(m): 4:40pm On May 16
Op i have a thousands of words with millions of advise to give you but really cant type themgrin

so i take God beg you while on my keens,if its going to take you the entire month to read this links and every single comment, please do, take you being an introvert as an advantage to read them "thoroughly" cause there are alot of wise comment/advise that will guild you..the answers you seek are all there..

i made a comment in this link, look for my moniker on d first page and please go through it.
https://www.nairaland.com/5186025/how-survive-seeing-ex-girlfriend-campus#78384200

this was my post when i lost my gf,similar to what transpire between you and you gf..there are alot of wise comment/advise that helped megrin
https://www.nairaland.com/5012212/emotionally-heart-broken...please-me


This will also guild you about other people,your next relationship,never to trust too much,learn to make yourself happy and always learn to walk alone in life.
https://www.nairaland.com/4189254/words-wisdom-experience-surely-need


o.p na so i fit help you ooogrin
does who have ear's,let dem heargrin
for you to know the road ahead,ask those coming back!

#drop_micgrin

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