my boyfriend and i have been going off and on for sometime, i admit that the fault is mine but here's what he's fond of doing:

each time i go to his place and i tell him im hungry, he buys me food from the local bukateria! at first i tot this was spposed to be an infrequent thing but i noticed that he never buys me food from nice places.   u can call him an "iya basira Boy"

i really dont like such food and he makes it seem like im fronting. though he doesnt mind wen his friends take us out for a treat in nice places.

Here is my reaction:

1) If you don't like the buka food, and that's all he has, then you should buy your own food on the way to his house.

2) If you are a trendy babe who likes to spend money, and he's a frugal and conservative guy, that's a bad sign!

lol had to laugh at seun's response.

anyways yeah eat before going to his house now!
is it that he has no mney to take you to nice places or is he tight with his wallet? be understanding still.

I would die for a bukka food right now girl , are you insane?

Na wao what do you expect from someone you call "iya basira boy". But really, have you made your feelings known to him?

ROFLMAO!   This is what I love about Nairaland,just when you thought you've seen it all someone comes up with a crazy topic   .

@jesusfreak,

I think the best thing is you buying your own food chinese,indian,Mr Biggs etc etc.BTW do you or your boyfriend cook.I wonder what kind of food Jesus eat Buka or Chinese!

;Dlol


i dont want to bring up the issue with him cos it always leads to some hot argument about how i dont understand him.so i guess i'll take seun advice

i dont see an issue here at all, just make sure you eat when visiting him and give the dude enough time to save up to tAKE YOU OUT FOR PLUSH meals. even here in the uk my husband and i dont go eating out in posh restaurants every other day( nobody does this). cut the brother some slack . i still say how can you not like iya basira?

nxt time on ur way to his place, stop at tantalisers and buy food for both of u,

watch hw he eats it,

if he gobbles it, then bail from the relationship,

if he picks it, then do sth else


i cant believe nairaland sha, its like a dr that answers all issues that can emanate in life

Someone buys you bukka and you are angry. Chei chei chei. You should thank God he buys anything.

When I was dating my wife, she used to come to my apartment to cook for me. She really scored high marks for that and she is reaping the rewards right now. You can learn from that.

Doesn't your boyfriend cook? Why should he buy food from outside when he is at home? You can help him by organising his kitchen so you can make something for yourself when go visit him.

@topic

My dear, i think thats what he can afford, So its either you Manage like that with him, or ,
If he buys u food from special places before and suddenly switched over to mama Chkwudi, then he might be saving for somethings,

You could find out better from him, Tease him u wanna eat in a special place, but dont force him,

Enjoy

I concur with Tmoni.
Nonetheless, I think I should confront him with your feelings especially as it seems to be weighing heavily on your mind. If the response you get doesn't bring joy to your heart, perharps you should then re-evaluate the relationship.

If you don't like iya basira's food, I guess you can make things happen in his kitchen. . .

the problem is i hardly see him cos of my job and anytime we're together, it's always very brief so there's no time to relax and start cooking. _{i guess this is a problem as well}

but ive cooked in his house about twice.

does this mean the relationship is doomed cos he's never even given me a gift

Ogbele o! You have opened up another topic. I think you can answer this question yourself.

Seuns reply is the only real answer ive seen so far

pannyman:

Ogbele o! You have opened up another topic. I think you can answer this question yourself.

lmao  

jesusfreak:

the problem is i hardly see him because of my job and anytime we're together, it's always very brief so there's no time to relax and start cooking. _{i guess this is a problem as well}

but ive cooked in his house about twice.

does this mean the relationship is doomed because he's never even given me a gift

i am seeing a worrying trend here about you so far, now why do you seem to base your relationship on material things? on things you feel he should buy you etc? your relationship is not DOOMED because he does not buy oyu gifts, it is DOOMED WHEN YOU BEGIN TO PRESSURE HIM ABOUT THINGS.

Im sure the guy is not boxed up! If he has wad ii dont see why he would not give u a treat specially sinc he njoys it whenever his freinds tak th two of you out

@ sisimose

im not materialistic. i just feel a guy shld get his girl someting once in a while ^{even if it's as little as a piece of scribbled up poem} _{which doesnt have to be romantic}i just want to feel like im important to him, not some u know,

jesusfreak:
does this mean the relationship is doomed because he's never even given me a gift

I think your relationship is doomed because you are more materialistic than your boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with being materialistic, but you should be with someone who holds the same values otherwise:

i don't want to bring up the issue with him because it always leads to some hot argument about how i don't understand him

If you don't understand each other, and you don't hold similar values, then your relationship is doomed, sister.

ouch!

that hurt!

jesusfreak:

@ sisimose

im not materialistic. i just feel a guy shld get his girl someting once in a while ^{even if it's as little as a piece of scribbled up poem} _{which doesnt have to be romantic}i just want to feel like im important to him, not some u know,

ok got you, not a problem, was just checking. you right i guess you guys have other issues yet to be discussed and little things are now being magnified.

Seun:

I think your relationship is doomed because you are more materialistic than your boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with being materialistic, but you should be with someone who holds the same values otherwise:If you don't understand each other, and you don't hold similar values, then your relationship is doomed, sister.

i agree there with you seun good point, nothing wrong with materialism , if the person you with holds thesame values, you right . that way there is less conflict,

arrrhhhhh all this talk abt food is makin mi hungry, seriousli i dnt mind eatin buka rite now ooo even thou i knw wen i was in naija i will b frontin, tired of d food here oooo so girl appreciate wot u have

My dear,
Try teach him to cook. That'll be a better and "cheaper" option. And make him love doing it too. I used to be a "buka freak" myself, and I didnt mind if my girlfriend decides not to cook for me, but once I picked up interest in cooking, it was a good deal for us both, you bet.

Try writing the address of Federal palace hotel in front of him, that should give him a clue.

na wah ohhh, nairaland

Seun:

I think your relationship is doomed because you are more materialistic than your boyfriend

Seun, since when did tantaliser food become material i tot it was just food .

@jesus freak what exactly is your issue?
Bukafood is the likes of amala, iyan and eba, so why don't like it are u oyibo, ajebota or u just dey front like he said?

I don't believe there will be a girl who prefer ipapanu to proper food, if you wan dey show get stepping.

I don't think iya basira's boy is wus up enough for you .

LMFAO Truly a Naija girl.

Well as Seun had mentioned simply eat or buy your food before reaching his house (If you're not selfish buy him some as well) - Fact is you get from a relationship what u put in. Slowly and gently train him into acknowledging the kind of person you are, the type food and things you like in general and from a relationship.

You guys don't see eachother very often i would advise you to rectify that if this is long-term. Reason being if you get too imbeded in this limited type of visits (i can only assume what you do for the short period) it will b'come just that and there will be no personal or emotionally growth, hence the reason why you too are so different, you're frustrated he's unaware.

As for the gifts buy him one - let him know that u just saw it n thought of him, see if he reciprocates it anytime soon.

Truth is you are a material girl (no shame - nice to admit - so am I) but if your guy is not then there is a clear difference of personality, needs and wants. Some people manage to live with this by accomodating and understanding eachother which you two are not likely to do unless you get to know eachother on a personal level first.

but com to think of it, th guy must be very simple, humble and considerat for him not to 1) worry when othrs spend on the two of you, 2)go to a mama put to buy you gredge. You need to tone it down for him o as you seem to b pushing him to the extreme gradually. Is he testing you? who knows

im not materialistic. Wink i just feel a guy shld get his girl someting once in a while even if it's as little as a piece of scribbled up poem which doesnt have to be romantici just want to feel like im important to him, not some u know,

I missed this earlier. I think materialism is a relative thing. Maybe your boyfriend also doesn't understand you? Because if he understands you, maybe he will take the food thing more seriously? Or maybe he will write more poems?

you never thank am?