Oma307:
that lady is not ready for marriage at all, if her major reason to engage in pre-wedding picture is because of competition among her crew. my brother, if she is able to maneuver her way over you because of her flimsy excuse, you are about to be slave husband in the making.

she might be feeling insecured dat since op refused to snap with her then dat means he might have another woman somewhere and is just playing. U know how ladies reason and i dont blame her. If u say u really love a particular girl i dont see any reason doin a pre wedding shot wit her if dats wat she wants.

bukatyne:


For me, 6 months is too short for courtship.

I don't know why prior to now, you were not so involved in the planning however it seems your input would not have been concerned important if she is not willing to reason with you.

Also, in order circumstances, I would have said meet her in the middle: take the pictures, don't add to any gift you would share but do a banner of it on the wedding day.

But now that her showoff to her friends is more important than what you feel or why you even feel it, you are on a long thing.

Give her a timeframe in your mind. If she doesn't call you, call her and ask if she is still willing to go ahead with the wedding.

If she is willing, you want no pictures or you do a work around like I suggested above.

If no, cancel all plans.

Thank you 4 dis...

After all d advice i got frm dis forum, family nd friends, i came to a conclusion dat my decision on dis stands.

Trust d reason has gone beyond me being shy. Its nw a case of being a man. If she doesnt agree wit it she shuld find anoda man afterall she is jst 24.

crismark:

Thank you 4 dis...

After all d advice i got frm dis forum, family nd friends, i came to a conclusion dat my decision on dis stands.

Trust d reason has gone beyond me being shy. Its nw a case of being a man. If she doesnt agree wit it she shuld find anoda man afterall she is jst 24.

I don't know about been a 'man'.

All I know is that lovers make compromises for each other and make the other party priority in their decision making.

habsydiamond:
for u to say that, means u have another reason apart from shyness as ur reason not to have pre wedding shots.

Yeah...she sees me like a soft guy dat succumb to all her wishes

bukatyne:


I don't know about been a 'man'.

All I know is that lovers make compromises for each other and make the other party priority in their decision making.

nt in her case



She is nt being humble on dis.

Nw i understand wat guys who marry girls frm wealthy home go through. Her mom is anoda wahala in dis issue.

lefulefu:
she might be feeling insecured dat since op refused to snap with her then dat means he might have another woman somewhere and is just playing. U know how ladies reason and i dont blame her. If u say u really love a particular girl i dont see any reason doin a pre wedding shot wit her if dats wat she wants.

you might be right but from the write up of the op, she wants to get married because her friends are married, not that she really love to marry

Oma307:

you might be right but from the write up of the op, she wants to get married because her friends are married, not that she really love to marry

want to get married cos her friends are married?? Then dats not love

crismark:

Yeah...she sees me like a soft guy dat succumb to all her wishes

In that's the case, Let her know u are the one in charge and she's to support u but do it calmly by sitting her down and talking sense into her. Most ladies from well to do homes always want to be incharge of their relationships which is wrong, especially when the guy is not too loaded. U understand what I mean right.

femmoy:


his reason is best known to him and him alone,is it wrong to tell ur wife to be that this is what I want and this is what I don't want? op I bet u,if u beg her and dance to her tune,u will not enjoy ur marriage with her because she will become the husband and dictate for u,also be ready to always beg if anything goes wrong in the marriage regardless of who's at fault.

forget if they have money or not,a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

think about it

its now am understanding his reason for that which is justified.

habsydiamond:
its now am understanding his reason for that which is justified.

thanks for reasoning along, you are a genius.

I told my girl no pre wedding pics. she begged I said No. No argument. wedding preparation is still on going. I love her so much.

Easybela:
your are entitled to your opinion,I hardly quote people here, the only reason I quoted you was because you generalised your opinion, not every woman gives a damn about pre-wwdding pics.

You are full of wisdom Dear, Don't Mind That Guy...

CreepyBlackpool:
Mr op I must tell you, you're acting quite dumb and immarture!

I advice you call her right now, apologise and agree to her terms.

Fvck her and then dump her the next morning!


She never loved you.

She only wants to marry you so she can spite/show off to her friends!

u said it all

crismark:

Lol

Actually i wanted the white wedding to be on a lowkey but she disgraced, i let conceded on dat...

My thought is dat she is nt being considerate..

so guys sometimes are just moonstruck with this mirage called love
Girls don't love!!, I bet u she jst wants to tie the knot and add that to her shelve of achievement.

U don't here how u are blabbering and complaining here even b4 taking her to d aisle
Who knows the trends of disagreement between u both,,u will grace our NL with after tying the knots
Good luck brother!!

crismark:

Yeah...she sees me like a soft guy dat succumb to all her wishes

Go through this thread. It will enlighten you the more and open your inner eyes. Wish you all the very best in your decision.


https://www.nairaland.com/4351460/lessons-marrying-rich-family

Centrallock:
like i said most things will not always go your way, you have to make room for her happiness too, and how can you ask why pre wedding shot is important to a woman, lol is like asking why dating a beautiful, loyal and submisive babe is important to a dudes.
Pre wedding shots is very necessary to her proving a point to her fellow girls, ladies hate having this feeling of being left out like she isnt meeting up to standards with friends, woman are naturally weird to be competitive against themselves so unless you cant afford the shots dont make it seem like its an issue, because its not.
your still going to meet real issues in marraige so start letting some stuffs that aint necessary pass so you can enjoy ypur marriage bro.
Regards

You're giving a very bad advice. This thing you call the small stuff is actually the very huge and mighty stuff.

How he handles it will determine his fate in that marriage.
@Op, don't let this slide. This is your opportunity to stand your ground and desensitize your woman to that ' pepper them mindset', the show off crew and the competition gang.

If she's so interested in showing off that she doesn't care about losing you, then you're going to be in an even bigger mess in the marriage proper.

So call her and apologize for being irrational and tell her you're interested in moving things forward but there's still not going to be a pre wedding picture. You want things done differently.

Every other thing is okay by you but definitely not a pre-wedding shoot and however she handles it will determine if you should thank your lucky stars and move on or if you should stick it out with her.

You made some compromises and she should be able to make some too if she wants stuffs to work. A sensible woman would care less about a photo shoot. Hahaha, i've read things on Nairaland though.

All the best!

ksbusari:
I told my girl no pre wedding pics. she begged I said No. No argument. wedding preparation is still on going. I love her so much.

That's a sensible woman, you don't push things too much especially when they're so so irrelevant.

There are a whole lot of things to argue about and this photo shoot nonsense is definitely not one of them.

Six months courting is too short nah

crismark:
nt in her case



She is nt being humble on dis.

Nw i understand wat guys who marry girls frm wealthy home go through. Her mom is anoda wahala in dis issue.

.

Go bak n read wat u commented on 16th feb 2018 @11:38.Dat was ur wish

crismark:
I met dis girl abt 6months ago, we fell inlove deeply i proposed to her last month, she accepted nd tins were fine until last week wen we were making all neccesary arrangements 4 both traditional nd white wedding.


I let her made all d decisions except for the pre-wedding pics. I told her dere woz nt goin to be any pre-wedding pics nd dat woz how wahala started.


Tho d reason i took dat decision was because i am a very shy person. Her own reason why dere must be pre wedding pics was more like its a competition btw her crew... It led to a heated arguement which made her left nd told me nt to call her again, i told her nt to call me either until she has agreed to my decision. Since den i havent gotten her call or text.


What would u advice me to do?


NB: She is frm a wealthy home plus she has her own moni( she work in a multinational company). I own an ICT business at ikeja.


Also, because pride i lost a relationship wit a girl( i really loved dis one) i met on dis forum last year.

You are falling out over pictures? What happens when the pair of you need to make REAL pertinent decisions in your marriage?
Your biggest mistake letting her make all the decisions you set a precedent.

blissgregory:
Go bak n read wat u commented on 16th feb 2018 @11:38.Dat was ur wish

So u went bak to read d OP's previous posts

Jobless

flokii:
Swallow your pride.. pick up the phone and call your woman.

And do the damn pre-wedding pics. It takes nothing from you.

It’s not true
I broke an engagement way back because the man wanted to plaster my pictures and videos all over the globe (well, town)
I told him I wanted a twenty person wedding or less and he said he would not be caught dead in that kind of arrangement
We said our goodbyes cos I did not want him to die at all

Dear OP
I can totally relate to your post
Camera shots can feel like gun shots to me
I would not be caught dead in pre-wedding shoots, I would not wear white and those flouncy oyibo wedding gowns and veils. Heck, I would also hate a wedding in a church or mosque. But finally, if I had to for some reason get a church wedding? I would not want to do that “till death do us part” bit (I need to be ready to bail, anytime ). Joking, hopefully
In your shoes I would bounce because my spirit would feel crushed if it was subjected to all these (in all honesty I may be a bit too self-involved)
But at least I am honest enough to say my own

But men (people) need their weddings, no? That’s why you are battling with your personality type. Be ready to be dragged to parties, weddings, whatnots. You will have your pictures taken too, for your fiancee’s peace of mind, not yours
Already seems like an impasse to me
Also, hope you are not getting married on the rebound? Soon after losing your Nairaland love?

blissgregory:
Go bak n read wat u commented on 16th feb 2018 @11:38.Dat was ur wish

Dnt judge me based on dat, i woz only joking on it.

blissgregory:
Six months courting is too short nah

It happened so because we av alot in common.

Is it ur post??

chinchonglee:
So u went bak to read d OP's previous posts
Jobless

Eyaah...sorry

crismark:
Dnt judge me based on dat, i woz only joking on it.

crismark:
It happened so because we av alot in common.

okk

merahki:



It’s not true
I broke an engagement way back because the man wanted to plaster my pictures and videos all over the globe (well, town)
I told him I wanted a twenty person wedding or less and he said he would not be caught dead in that kind of arrangement
We said our goodbyes cos I did not want him to die at all

Dear OP
I can totally relate to your post
Camera shots can feel like gun shots to me
I would not be caught dead in pre-wedding shoots, I would not wear white and those flouncy oyibo wedding gowns and veils. Heck, I would also hate a wedding in a church or mosque. But finally, if I had to for some reason get a church wedding? I would not want to do that “till death do us part” bit (I need to be ready to bail, anytime ). Joking, hopefully
In your shoes I would bounce because my spirit would feel crushed if it was subjected to all these (in all honesty I may be a bit too self-involved)
But at least I am honest enough to say my own

But men (people) need their weddings, no? That’s why you are battling with your personality type. Be ready to be dragged to parties, weddings, whatnots. You will have your pictures taken too, for your fiancee’s peace of mind, not yours
Already seems like an impasse to me
Also, hope you are not getting married on the rebound? Soon after losing your Nairaland love?

I was rolling my eyes till I got to that part.
Then I said to myself, 'okay she seems to have a healthy dose of self-awareness since she can admit it to herself'

blissgregory:
Is it ur post??

stop pokenosing

Centrallock:
like i said most things will not always go your way, you have to make room for her happiness too, and how can you ask why pre wedding shot is important to a woman, lol is like asking why dating a beautiful, loyal and submisive babe is important to a dudes.
Pre wedding shots is very necessary to her proving a point to her fellow girls, ladies hate having this feeling of being left out like she isnt meeting up to standards with friends, woman are naturally weird to be competitive against themselves so unless you cant afford the shots dont make it seem like its an issue, because its not.
your still going to meet real issues in marraige so start letting some stuffs that aint necessary pass so you can enjoy ypur marriage bro.
Regards

Is this one even a man.
Spits!

crackhaus:

I was rolling my eyes till I got to that part.
Then I said to myself, 'okay she seems to have a healthy dose of self-awareness since she can admit it to herself'

I jes dunno wotosay

Good morning!