This is my first and only account here on nairaland... And this is my first time here... Please I Want everyone to judge this.. Have been dating this guy for like 2years now.. We he said before the year runs out he will see my parents... Last week he saw a chat I had with my ex... My ex was begging me to visit.. But I refused.. Ever since he saw that chat. He has been acting up.. Am loosing my mind.. Don't want to loose him... What should I do..

Why won't he act up if you are the one won't you be acting up.
That is what happens when people keep living in their past, if you treasured your relationship you would have kept your ex and everything about him in the past

It's normal for him to act up.
You are the one to set boundaries.If you value your present relationship,then you should set boundaries.As long as you still want to chat with your ex,then you can't blame him.
It's left for you now to convince him you are faithful.

♠️

Why do you still chat with your ex?
You must be sleeping with him. You have no shame.

Rita30:
Why won't he act up if you are the one won't you be acting up.
That is what happens when people keep living in their past, if you treasured your relationship you would have kept your ex and everything about him in the past

Just a chat.. Nothing else.. I mean no harm o..

thorpido:
It's normal for him to act up.
You are the one to set boundaries.If you value your present relationship,then you should set boundaries.As long as you still want to chat with your ex,then you can't blame him.
It's left for you now to convince him you are faithful.

I have deleted his number..

Charanko:
♠️

Why do you still chat with your ex?
You must be sleeping with him. You have no shame.

Am not.. And will never do that..

Larajacy:

I have deleted his number..

You should make him see that and make him trust you.

Maybe you didn't sound firm and convincing in your refusal.

Keeping an ex around can lead to Okafor's law if you are not strong.

As long as that chapter is finished, don't encourage chats, calls except it's absolutely necessary. And your man should be aware of everything.

Larajacy:

Just a chat.. Nothing else.. I mean no harm o..

excuse me but you're stupid! Anything ex should be literally that word, he is an ex for a reason. Your guy did what most guys would do, you don't keep an ex, once the relationship is over let it go and move on.


You even called it "just a chat"........ You must be a freaking idiot.

Calm your nerves, you can advice her without the insults, it's really not necessary and as it stands now you are the one who looks stupid. Not every relationship ended on a bad note, while some delete and block their exes, some remain casual friends with them and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, it takes a whole level of maturity to do that.

themaestro08:
excuse me but you're stupid! Anything ex should be literally that word, he is an ex for a reason. Your guy did what most guys would do, you don't keep an ex, once the relationship is over let it go and move on.


You even called it "just a chat"........ You must be a freaking idiot.

OP there's no need for you to be worried, it's normal for your guy to feel this way because he loves you, just talk to him and reassure him that you choose him over anyone else, thereafter you both can make a decision concerning your ex's contact.

missimelda01:
Calm your nerves, you can advice her with the insults, it's really not necessary and as it stands now you are the one who looks stupid. Not every relationship ended on a bad note, while some delete and block their exes, some remain casual friends with them and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, it takes a whole level of maturity to do that.

they parted ways for a reason right? Give me good reasons why they should still be rolling together? Or are you a fu'cking hypocrite?

Are you dumb to realize that so long as they are together one thing must definitely lead to the other and before you know its another thing?

Am real once am done am done , I hate presence and hypocrisy wholeheartedly.

themaestro08:
they parted ways for a reason right? Give me good reasons why they should still be rolling together? Or are you a fu'cking hypocrite?

Are you dumb to realize that so long as they are together one thing must definitely lead to the other and before you know its another thing?

Am real once am done am done , I hate presence and hypocrisy wholeheartedly.

... Calm down Mr, everyone can’t be like you.
The babe is right, it’s all about maturity. Not all exes do Okafor law.
Op, jst try to convince him and let him know there’s nothing between you guys. If only he trust you sha.

Larajacy:
This is my first and only account here on nairaland... And this is my first time here... Please I Want everyone to judge this.. Have been dating this guy for like 2years now.. We he said before the year runs out he will see my parents... Last week he saw a chat I had with my ex... My ex was begging me to visit.. But I refused.. Ever since he saw that chat. He has been acting up.. Am loosing my mind.. Don't want to loose him... What should I do..

... He doesn't trust u

He assumes u wanna cheat or go bck.....

My point is that you don't have to be insulting to pass a message. There's a difference between being real and being unreasonable. I still talk to my ex when it's necessary, life goes beyond dating so hey, I've been there. On the other hand, I think you're dumb enough to understand that things work differently for people and that's why you're forcing people to see things your way. Grow up!

themaestro08:
they parted ways for a reason right? Give me good reasons why they should still be rolling together? Or are you a fu'cking hypocrite?

Are you dumb to realize that so long as they are together one thing must definitely lead to the other and before you know its another thing?

Am real once am done am done , I hate presence and hypocrisy wholeheartedly.

missimelda01:
Calm your nerves, you can advice her with the insults, it's really not necessary and as it stands now you are the one who looks stupid. Not every relationship ended on a bad note, while some delete and block their exes, some remain casual friends with them and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, it takes a whole level of maturity to do that.

To some extent I agree but casual friends with an ex will always lead to casual sex someday however long it takes.

Baby girl don't stress yourself!
That dude has been looking for ways to breakup with you!
You just gave him the perfect escape!
Don't beg him, give him enough space and show him you can do without him even if it is like you can't!
Give yourself some self respect biko!

missimelda01:
Calm your nerves, you can advice her with the insults, it's really not necessary and as it stands now you are the one who looks stupid. Not every relationship ended on a bad note, while some delete and block their exes, some remain casual friends with them and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, it takes a whole level of maturity to do that.

I hope when ur boyfriend chats with his ex...you will be calm

You can't afford to keep in touch with an ex and expect your BF to act normal, he's going to have his trust in you weakened, I'd feel the same way too but you need time, it will heal and convince him but that's with consistent trustworthy characters with boldness.

if the guy is wise,he will leave...why are you charting with ur ex
..if your present guy can't be ur friend and confidant.. then go back to ur ex...from chatting na dere he dey start!!!

Liliyann:
Baby girl don't stress yourself!
That dude has been looking for ways to breakup with you!
You just gave him the perfect escape!
Don't beg him, give him enough space and show him you can do without him even if it is like you can't!
Give yourself some self respect biko!

This is excerably bad

Act up you can get snatched up ayyyy

On a serious note it's normal for him to feel that way, casual friendships with exes can be complicated so out of respect for your current beau, you should probably not be communicating with him and if completely necessary, let your guy know what's going on.

Apologise profusely and explain yourself, good luck

Tajbol4splend:




This is excerably bad

Care to explain?

That's why I advice my friends,if you breakup with someone and you regards them are your ex why on earth do u still keep in touch it would have been OK if you are still single but since you are not, you should have blocked him to prevent problems. When you go into a relationship with a new person and you tell them you had an ex it is only proper for them to know if you guys are still in touch,besides you dated this guy for 2yrs and you have just giving him an opportunity to dump you after 2yrs. If he really loves you,he would talk about it and ask questions but if he doesn't talk about it and keeps mute there's no need he is planning a BIG SURPRISE for by surprise I don't mean a ring but but a way out

Liliyann:


Care to explain?

How will one have a happy home if one can't admit their wrongdoing and make necessary amends, the girl started this whole issue, in the post OP indicates that the guy had been planning to see her parents but after the chat, the guy changed, you can't blame him, he is a human being, but you adjudged he had been looking for a way to break up with her, you didn't even find time to look at what she may have done wrong

Tajbol4splend:



How will one have a happy home if one can't admit their wrongdoing and make necessary amends, the girl started this whole issue, in the post OP indicates that the guy had been planning to see her parents but after the chat, the guy changed, you can't blame him, he is a human being, but you adjudged he had been looking for a way to break up with her, you didn't even find time to look at what she may have done wrong

Planning to see her parents for 2years? Haba??
To me, that is a long time....if the guy truly loves and trust her, he would at least listen to her� it's not as if she agreed to visit him
Relationship is about trust, if the guy is acting up now, what happens when he marries her?

Liliyann:


Planning to see her parents for 2years? Haba??
To me, that is a long time....if the guy truly loves and trust her, he would at least listen to her� it's not as if she agreed to visit him
Relationship is about trust, if the guy is acting up now, what happens when he marries her?

What you may not understand about trust is that it can only be earned, you can't continue to trust someone who has given you reason to doubt them no matter how little it is just because you love them, love and trust don't necessarily work simultaneously.

Of course he has other things to do with his life rather than chatting with his ex, having an ex's number and keeping in touch doesn't necessarily mean you both are busy chatting. Don't misunderstand me, I also know it might be different for others.

babyfaceafrica:
I hope when ur boyfriend chats with his ex...you will be calm

missimelda01:
Of course he has other things to do with his life rather than chatting with his ex, having an ex's number and keeping in touch doesn't necessarily mean you both are busy chatting. Don't misunderstand me, I also know it might be different for others.

I always advise people not to give important people wrong impression.... and it is always nice to know the person you are going out with.....she is simply not wise.... most ex- are dangerous... always want to chop ladies..that is why it is advisable to stay away from ex ,especially when you have someone serious..... ex know weak points and some will use it...it is always fair to stay away from all appearance of evil

Chatting with your ex is one thing, 50/50 some guys may overlook that or not.

But im asking/ begging you to visit?
I don't know how many guys will clap you on the back for a job well done o.

You must have been giving him a green light, maybe?
Maybe not?

If it's meant to be, so shall it be.
And if not?
Count your blessings...



I bet you dat guy go use dat as an excuse not to come know your parents again.