[quote author=gabicon post=79256974]

First of all you need to understand that the principles of marriage are still the same over a century ago but the concept has changed. In today's world women are no longer dependent on men economically hence they no longer take the crap they did 20years ago. Women now exercise a more robust Sense of freedom. If you are looking for a wife that will do your every bidding, I must let you know that she doesn't not exist anymore, some may look like it in the beginning but they will eventually metamorphose.
Mother's have told their daughters how unfulfilled they were in their marriages and the daughters are not willing to repeat that experience.

Making a marriage work in this age will involve both parties clearly stating their requirements, both parties have needs and those needs have to be met and the modalities of how needs are to be met needs to be discussed.

may God bless you, wish everyone can see this. Can you make it into a thread please?

leonard002:
Hold on another 6 months. Don't take any rash decisions yet

Lol, six more months of shagging and deception? Free the babe joor

franchasng:
Hahahahahaha


But aside the village people eh, marriage is scary to guys. You will now be tied to one Lady for life, if u dare admire other hotter ladies wahala, if u look or chat anyhow trouble, u can't even go for evening driving alone without querry and suspicion, u can't feel that guyman levels again, kai

Op, make sure she is working oh so she won't turn to super glue glued on your body, so she too will be busy and not monitoring u up and down like monitoring spirit

Exactly why i Dont want a full time house wife in my life, she will watch your every step and marriage will become bondage for you

LasLas:
Please nairalanders, I need your opinion and advice though i expect a lot of bashing because it is normal here on nairaland.

I met this girl two years back and we started dating since 2017. We have been into each other since then.

Recently i went to see her parents just to make my intentions known. After that, we both traveled to see my parents also.

Ever since we came back from my village i have been having this thoughts of divorce. I have this feeling that i will seek for divorce immediately after the wedding. I don't want to have a broken home. I don't want to cheat on my wife because if i eventually marry her with the way i am thinking now i must cheat on her which i don't want to happen in my marriage. I am thinking of quiting the relationship but i don't know how to go about it, how she will react, what her family members will say and react. I am so confused.

Please i need your advice.

Every young (and old) man, before getting involved in a long-term relationship, should spend time to understand the nature of women, especially in the current global war against men.

A good book to read is "The Rational Male" by Rollo Tomassi
https://www.docdroid.net/xmhw/the-rational-male.pdf

LasLas:
Please nairalanders, I need your opinion and advice though i expect a lot of bashing because it is normal here on nairaland.

I met this girl two years back and we started dating since 2017. We have been into each other since then.

Recently i went to see her parents just to make my intentions known. After that, we both traveled to see my parents also.

Ever since we came back from my village i have been having this thoughts of divorce. I have this feeling that i will seek for divorce immediately after the wedding. I don't want to have a broken home. I don't want to cheat on my wife because if i eventually marry her with the way i am thinking now i must cheat on her which i don't want to happen in my marriage. I am thinking of quiting the relationship but i don't know how to go about it, how she will react, what her family members will say and react. I am so confused.

Please i need your advice.

Considering you can not give a clear reason why you are feeling the way you feel, there is no clear indication, that the fault is from the lady. Meaning it's all you. You should take some time off, to figure out your shit.
Maybe the realisation that marriage is just around the corner and things are finally serious is freaking you out. Seeing her parents and introducing her to yours, is obviously a big deal to you.

Maybe you are not a marriage commitment nigga, I am pointing because you placed emphasis on the fact that you might cheat on her, which means faithfulness, you being faithful is an issue for you. If holding yourself is not an issue, the thought that you might cheat, would never cross your mind, more so in this situation where you are not married.
You might be a relationship type, but not a marriage type, it's possible and very common with guys.

So figure out your own shit, be true to yourself and get back to her. It's all you. And try not to blame the poor lady, you've not told us, that she do you anything. Push blame syndrome is common with guys in situations like this.

jy2kbeyond:


I actually believe the lady felt she's got him hooked, felt relaxed and started to dish out another version of herself. Women are capable of having several characters.

After TWO years? Now, she decides to show another "side"?
And you think that men don't have different characters to them?
Miss me with that BS.

MrCuteking:


I strongly disagree. Not in this our current generation where our ladies see marriage as the biggest achievement.

As a matter of fact I don't think OP would have come to seek for advise if it appears the way you think about women.

Who made single ladies feel uncomfortable? Who shames and insult thriving single ladies? People like Genevieve and many others.
Oh spare me that Bullsh¡t
Men! Men and men!
Everywhere you look, young jobless men shaming ladies, single mothers inclusive, for being single.

ImaIma1:


Try not to sound so bitter and ugly inside. Their choice is not your problem

Their choice is the problem of the society! These are men who raise emotional manginas that end up getting used and abused by females!

Bro you will only be hate the people of the world cos of what you do but yu will not be hate God who created you this decision is for the betterment of you and the lady so for peace to reign in your family kindly explain to her what you have in mind and let go of the relationship cos everyone want to be happy in their home.

LasLas:

I am actually seeing some feminism traits in her and some other issues.... Sometimes now her talks irritates me

which kind of feminism traits? is it dat she cant expect herself to go to the kitchen to cook for a man? or she is disrespectful ? or she is fond of picking unnecessary fights or quarrels with ur neighbours? is dat wat u trying to explain? hehe in nigeria wen dem yarn feminism it is completely different from d normal feminism we all know.

franchasng:
Hahahahahaha


But aside the village people eh, marriage is scary to guys. You will now be tied to one Lady for life, if u dare admire other hotter ladies wahala, if u look or chat anyhow trouble, u can't even go for evening driving alone without querry and suspicion, u can't feel that guyman levels again, kai

Op, make sure she is working oh so she won't turn to super glue glued on your body, so she too will be busy and not monitoring u up and down like monitoring spirit

i always dey ask why na married men full beer palour pass single men.ehn most of them are scated to go home after closing from work in d evenin cos of d wahala wey dem go meet for house. wife go dey quarrel and hala for no reason.u go just see a lady go dey squeeze her face for no reason and if d husband dare ask honey wat is wrong another set of quarrel don start. ehn weda na d wahala dey make nigerian men dey get shorter life span i dont know oo.d few lucky men married to good women are doin are dancing doin thanksgivin in church everyday whilre the unlucky ones married to toxic wives are crying in their heart and saying God why me.

LasLas:

I am actually seeing some feminism traits in her and some other issues.... Sometimes now her talks irritates me

They are very dangerous. Lucky you've been seeing the signs. You DON'T wanna go down that road. Believe me. It's destiny-destroying. Your life will be changed for the worse PERMANENTLY.

Better make hay while the sun shines.

Why committing her when you know you won't finish what you started.you better go ahead and marry her.stop deceiving women for your selfish gain.

A man should know what his goal is in life and where he is going. This must be done first before finding a woman who will want to help him achieve his goal. If as a man you have not got your act together, you might fall into a situation where the woman will dictate to you where to go. The man is the leader in the home.

Every young (and old) man, before getting involved in a long-term relationship, should spend time to understand the nature of women, especially in the current global war against men.

A good book to read is "The Rational Male" by Rollo Tomassi
https://www.docdroid.net/xmhw/the-rational-male.pdf

LasLas:

thanks for ur mature response

millionboi2:
time

Wednesday, 12am - 4am

LasLas:

Yea I noticed all this which I sometimes draw her attention to, sometimes when I tell her to do some home chores she feels I am punishing her, dat if I can't do it myself. She once said she fell for me cuz of how she sees me doing my cleaning and cooking myself dat she needs such a man. there was a time she told me she must add her dad's name to her marital name which I objected. we even had to argue about it for sometime. I have tried to discuss somethings with her but she thinks am too archaic or not modern in my reasoning. she'll always tell me things aren't done dat way again

listen very carefully






she wants to be the man of the house.


That's why she fell for you cooking and doing house chores. If she can be challenging you to do simple house chores that are naturally her responsibilities as a woman and also wants to add her dad's name, bro, then kiss goodbye to you being in control if you finally marry.



women tend to get worse after marriage, and this one has started dragging who will be the head even before marriage.

Just imagine what she will transform to after marriage!


forget all what the females on nairaland have been saying.



Do you want to be the woman of the house? if yes, go ahead and marry her, after all, love is blind.



If you want to be in charge, I mean if you want to be the man, then don't go ahead, walk away and look for a lady that will be loyal and submit to you.


This is a life time journey, so don't be a sisy all because of love



Man up man, and be the man.


Picture how your marriage will be in five years time



picture how it will be in 15 years time.


Two captains cannot sail a ship!

Kolping:
A man should know what his goal is in life and where he is going. This must be done first before finding a woman who will want to help him achieve his goal. If as a man you have not got your act together, you might fall into a situation where the woman will dictate to you where to go. The man is the leader in the home.

Every young (and old) man, before getting involved in a long-term relationship, should spend time to understand the nature of women, especially in the current global war against men.

A good book to read is "The Rational Male" by Rollo Tomassi
https://www.docdroid.net/xmhw/the-rational-male.pdf

I have downloaded the book.... Thanks. Hope it will be helpful.

The book will change your life.

Most men are still in the dark about women and female manipulation. Another eye-opening book is Anatomy of Female Power: A Masculinist Dissection of Matriarchy by Chinweizu Ibekwe (a Nigerian).

http://therawness.com/AFP.pdf

murphyrichy:
I have downloaded the book.... Thanks. Hope it will be helpful.

Kolping:
A man should know what his goal is in life and where he is going. This must be done first before finding a woman who will want to help him achieve his goal. If as a man you have not got your act together, you might fall into a situation where the woman will dictate to you where to go. The man is the leader in the home.

Every young (and old) man, before getting involved in a long-term relationship, should spend time to understand the nature of women, especially in the current global war against men.

A good book to read is "The Rational Male" by Rollo Tomassi
https://www.docdroid.net/xmhw/the-rational-male.pdf

Wow, I have got enough to read...Thanks

Kolping:
The book will change your life.

Most men are still in the dark about women and female manipulation. Another eye-opening book is Anatomy of Female Power: A Masculinist Dissection of Matriarchy by Chinweizu Ibekwe (a Nigerian).

http://therawness.com/AFP.pdf



Kolping:
A man should know what his goal is in life and where he is going. This must be done first before finding a woman who will want to help him achieve his goal. If as a man you have not got your act together, you might fall into a situation where the woman will dictate to you where to go. The man is the leader in the home.

Every young (and old) man, before getting involved in a long-term relationship, should spend time to understand the nature of women, especially in the current global war against men.

A good book to read is "The Rational Male" by Rollo Tomassi
https://www.docdroid.net/xmhw/the-rational-male.pdf