calgaryFriend:
I can relate with you OP. For me I am outside of the country and I already made up my mind not to marry from outside the country. I have been meeting people online but after relating with them for sometime I realise the extent of how ignorant, materialistic and focus-less most ladies are.

I was following up with a lady last week, then I saw her whatsap status - ENU GBE, E FUN MI LOWO ENU GBG (i am broke, please give me money I am broke). What kind of human being comes on social media to write such trash ? People dont even have respect for themselves or their families.

WheN i WAS in school I was placed on minimum wage and I tried to live within my means how can people just begin to behave like peasants, so that pissed me off and I just cancelled that babe.

The next one was even a little promising but on 2 occasions I was speaking to her and she was speaking to other people, imagine chatting someone and they admit they are also chatting up to 7 people at the same time.

Then I rebuked the person and the next few days we are talking on phone and the person is typing and after I asked what was going on she said she was chatting with people while speaking with me on whatsap call, I did not even react, but I just cancelled her in my mind.

It is quite tough really, the quality of women out there is really very low, we just have a few who are young and have proper sense.

Goodluck as we continue to search...

Honestly am facing the same issue. Very low quality, though ur a bit judgemental.

bLacKGoLd3:


Did you attend the Igbo Cultural day that held last month in Calgary? Trust me, not only Igbos graced the occasion - it's usually a mixed group because Nigerian ladies in diaspora also share similar sentiments and are looking to connect with their Naija brothers too.

I'd advise you also look to the East African (Tanzania gets my top recommendation) and West African (Ghana gets my top recommendation) communities in your locality. Unless you are stuck on a particular tribe, our cultures are quite similar. Forget the vertical lines drawn by colonialists.

You need to also prayerfully approach a decision as crucial as marriage.

Good advice

Michelle55:

A perfectionist? Learn to give room for mistakes and adjustment. Things mustn't go your way or how you planned it most times. Relationships doesn't have set rules and regulations, just go with the flow!!

nice one..but yeah..what if shes cheated on me with her cousin b4...should i still 4give such mistake cos i wont trust her,will av to start monitoring her

that was how i was doing anyhow when i was with my girl few months back at a point i even dey bring woman for house and she caught me one day and dealt with the girl before i go come back my house don turn upside down.

I entered my house see wethn she did to my guest and she don put hot water for fire oo wethn she wan do wih hot water me i dont know

omo i use vex beat her blue black chase her comot tell her im not doing again...via we are doing relationship and u are mad like this if we come marry that means u will kill person. na so relationship take end and we were close to settling down oo..

I started leaving my life enjoying girls the way i wish. name it 3some, watching lesbians make out and inviting girls to twerk for me/house party.


After like 7months i never still get gf ooo much more of settling down..
I started thinking abt my life... i started asking my sef if na like this i go dey live my life and again as per only child too much pressure is on me to marry.. chei....

Na so i begin reson some of my friends that e be like i will go back to my girl oo..
long story short i went back and she accepted me. i swore never to hurt her again
should be seeing her parents soon.

My people wife no too dey like girlfirends o o o o o o
if your woman dey give u peace of mind hold her tight...

Op i pray u meet her soon.. goodluck

hmmm my girlfriend cheated on me wit her cousin, i caught her using a call recorder,she kept begging me for 4 months,i was still angry,well her mum den arranged for her to go work in a state,as she reach d state,na club dem people wey she stay wit see work for her....person wey dey cover hair like alhaja oo,come dey open hair cos of d work ,her dress change,i no dey gree sleep well if i call her for midnite i hear DJ dey play song,cos d work is from evening to midnite....abeg just see dis my scenerio...will u av peace of mind

CuntMiner:
nice one..but yeah..what if shes cheated on me with her cousin b4...should i still 4give such mistake cos i wont trust her,will av to start monitoring her

Her cousin? That's incest.

Michelle55:
Her cousin? That's incest.

so wot happens den??

CuntMiner:
so wot happens den??

Solely up to you to decide whether to continue or not

AntiBrutus:
Naso e dey be o.

When e reach time to settle down,

You will realise girlfriend plenty, but wife scarce.

Men dey, na husband be problem.

You see the one wey fine, e no get sense.

The one wey get sense, she no get nyash...no sexual attraction.

The one wey get nyash, she too like instagram and snapchat. In fact, na undercover-slay queen.

The one wey get everything you want, she is in a relationship.


This life ehn...

Just a select few will be lucky to see every they want in one.

Last last, so many will have to compromise.

You see that your list and standard, you go dey reduce am small small.

You make every sense dear. Well done.

Deleted this post.

400billionman:


Finding a partner, if you have it as a priority, you won't find anyone...

Lolzzzz.
So how could one find her.?

Kwinesther:
Hmmm, if you are this conclusive and impatient then finding a partner might be difficult. If everybody is always picking minor mistakes from their partner same way you are doing nobody will settle down oo. What if what she posted on her WhatsApp status was just a mere post that has no serious thing attached to it? We are different though, but a times what we post on social media does not truly reflect the type of person we are, just that one post shouldn't make her materialistic. I think you should have taken your time to study her more.

The other one, what if those chats are important chats too? To me it doesn't matter if she was also chatting them so far she was replying you well. There maybe other things about her that are good but you couldn't even notice out of impatience and hasty conclusion, please try to be calm next time. Choosing a partner isnt what can be done in a hurry. Shalom!

Kudos to you lady. You are wiser than some men.

calgaryFriend:


I did not cancel her out immidiately, I spoke to her gently and let her know it is disrespectful to the other person. I have asked her out and I have even gone as far as letting her know I really would love to start a serious relationship with her, the fact she still continued after I let her know I dont like that shows 2 things.

1. She does not understand the word respect. My time is also precious and I have many people to chat but I show respect to her by not chattin g multiple people at the same time. HOW can you be discussing with someone about how you guys want your future to look like and she is typing away while still on the call ? You may justify of trivialise that but it is a red flag. Mutual respect is important in any relationship.

2. She may have another relationship or several other relationships.

Yeah, you made a point too.
I can relate.

truthsayer009:
Deleted this post.

Why?

calgaryFriend:

Your head dey there, the problem is that most people these days were not properly raised and they do not know how to behave. The only thing I owe you is a correction once, and I corrected her and she still continued, imagine discussing future plans with someone and they continue chatting with others.

That kind of red flag is a no no... I have not told her I am not interested again sha, I already toasted her before this happened and she said she will give me a feedback, she is expecting me to ask her how far now I just lock up I am not even chatting her again . When she chats me I just respond and move on and say thank you.

I am sure she is ready to tell me yes, but as far as she has not said yes to me she cannot claim I broke her heart

Iike your courage bro.

lefulefu:
what happened to the nigerian ladies in canada or the other ladies there? sorry oo i am not trying to pour san san in garri of any homebase babe dat u might be dating but if i will be honest with u i will let u know dat many of the homebased ladies involved in long distance relationships with abroad based dudes are actively involved in relationships with other guys or guy in nigeria.it might be understandable if u had a serious girlfriend b4 u travelled out but that u had no girlfriend or female friend b4 travelling out and its now u searching for homebase by using facebook or instagram ol boy u opening urself for scam.nigeria is not as it used to be before.deceit and scam every wia.just get a nigerian girl who is in canada there with u since its a naija girl u want and save urself lots of stress.

Quite reasonable. You get am for sense bro.

calgaryFriend:

I get your point, and it did not happen once but severally.
Lastly, I am not supposed to just a friend, this is someone we have started discussing future plans just that she has not officially said "Yes" .

My hour is worth 100times what her own hour is currently worth if you want to classify it by pay rate, and I am older than her far older but I still show respect to her by giving her all the attention at that time.

So for these reasons it shows she lacks respect or does still not understand what commitment means.

There are somethings that are basic and if a lady does not have them no need to start training a lady at 23years .

Just move on. There are some things parents, education and exposure should teach one.

Once I complained about it the first time she is not supposed to still continue.

Corndoning that will mean I will condone any other thing.

I would have argued you points but I agree 100% based on experience.

Ishilove:

Yes, I understand that it is rude, but you can gently chastise and try to correct the offending person because some people genuinely do not know it is wrong. When they refuse to be corrected after several attempts then you can ex them. I have always believed in second, and even third chances.

You are right. In my case I kept forgiving and lived to regret it.

calgaryFriend:
I can relate with you OP. For me I am outside of the country and I already made up my mind not to marry from outside the country. I have been meeting people online but after relating with them for sometime I realise the extent of how ignorant, materialistic and focus-less most ladies are.

I was following up with a lady last week, then I saw her whatsap status - ENU GBE, E FUN MI LOWO ENU GBG (i am broke, please give me money I am broke). What kind of human being comes on social media to write such trash ? People dont even have respect for themselves or their families.

WheN i WAS in school I was placed on minimum wage and I tried to live within my means how can people just begin to behave like peasants, so that pissed me off and I just cancelled that babe.

The next one was even a little promising but on 2 occasions I was speaking to her and she was speaking to other people, imagine chatting someone and they admit they are also chatting up to 7 people at the same time.

Then I rebuked the person and the next few days we are talking on phone and the person is typing and after I asked what was going on she said she was chatting with people while speaking with me on whatsap call, I did not even react, but I just cancelled her in my mind.

It is quite tough really, the quality of women out there is really very low, we just have a few who are young and have proper sense.

Goodluck as we continue to search...

What if it was work related?

bLacKGoLd3:


Did you attend the Igbo Cultural day that held last month in Calgary? Trust me, not only Igbos graced the occasion - it's usually a mixed group because Nigerian ladies in diaspora also share similar sentiments and are looking to connect with their Naija brothers too.

I'd advise you also look to the East African (Tanzania gets my top recommendation) and West African (Ghana gets my top recommendation) communities in your locality. Unless you are stuck on a particular tribe, our cultures are quite similar. Forget the vertical lines drawn by colonialists.

You need to also prayerfully approach a decision as crucial as marriage.

I just learnt something from you. Thanks.

pocohantas:


Why?

My brain was dancing soapy when i wrote it

Matrimonous:

You are right. In my case I kept forgiving and lived to regret it.

Matthew 18: 21-22

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not just seven times, but seventy-seven times"

It is hard to forgive, but forgiveness does not make one a fool. In forgiving we become better, wiser people. The person who took your love for granted is the loser here, not you. It may seem so at first but in time the truth comes to light for your edification.

bluskyee:
At the inception of 2018 I thought my pre wedding photos will be on the front page of NL (with a new moniker )but it seems I am a bit mistaken. Looking forward to meeting a partner is turning to a full time job ( or maybe is not, perhaps I am over thinking or ... ) I am thinking perhaps my transfer is the main cause but I am 2years here already. I know say I done cast well but is just funny, really funny. I am not looking for advice pls, I am only thinking out loud with the aid of Budweiser, hoping to read this when I start thinking again. At least I won't have to think again.

If you happen to be in this category you can share your thought ( guys only)

What are you looking for?

calgaryFriend:
I can relate with you OP. For me I am outside of the country and I already made up my mind not to marry from outside the country. I have been meeting people online but after relating with them for sometime I realise the extent of how ignorant, materialistic and focus-less most ladies are.

I was following up with a lady last week, then I saw her whatsap status - ENU GBE, E FUN MI LOWO ENU GBG (i am broke, please give me money I am broke). What kind of human being comes on social media to write such trash ? People dont even have respect for themselves or their families.

WheN i WAS in school I was placed on minimum wage and I tried to live within my means how can people just begin to behave like peasants, so that pissed me off and I just cancelled that babe.

The next one was even a little promising but on 2 occasions I was speaking to her and she was speaking to other people, imagine chatting someone and they admit they are also chatting up to 7 people at the same time.

Then I rebuked the person and the next few days we are talking on phone and the person is typing and after I asked what was going on she said she was chatting with people while speaking with me on whatsap call, I did not even react, but I just cancelled her in my mind.

It is quite tough really, the quality of women out there is really very low, we just have a few who are young and have proper sense.

Goodluck as we continue to search...

Wow! Lol. Your matter go hard

Beauty isn't everything.

bluskyee:
lol...the lady my sis was trying to recommend to me to ehhnnn, when I saw her pics, make I end story abeq

Who told you that 50 year old women don't have sexual desires?? Especially abroad??

Menopause doesn't hit at 40 oooo but it is more dangerous to give birth around 45. However, healthcare in Canada is awesome and can successfully take care.

The easiest way for you is to find a Nigerian woman with sense that is settled in Canada.

calgaryFriend:

Age is a big factor for me. By the time a woman hits menopause some at 40 - 45 years old, a man is just starting. Imagine at 50years you cannot have satisfying se.x life. I am not saying it is the same for everybody but by design a man is still good to go at 65 years, if your wife is 65 years you would have to give up on se.x totally .
And because women age quite faster compared to men so marrying a woman over 30 years is a no no for me.

Please go for STRONG counseling before you marry o. Don't cheat on your wife and don't beat your wife.

Frankly, if I were her brother, I won't come or support the wedding. You cheat on her when you guys are close to settling then you have the mind to beat her ontop.

Abeg o.

that was how i was doing anyhow when i was with my girl few months back at a point i even dey bring woman for house and she caught me one day and dealt with the girl before i go come back my house don turn upside down.

I entered my house see wethn she did to my guest and she don put hot water for fire oo wethn she wan do wih hot water me i dont know

omo i use vex beat her blue black chase her comot tell her im not doing again...via we are doing relationship and u are mad like this if we come marry that means u will kill person. na so relationship take end and we were close to settling down oo..

I started leaving my life enjoying girls the way i wish. name it 3some, watching lesbians make out and inviting girls to twerk for me/house party.


After like 7months i never still get gf ooo much more of settling down..
I started thinking abt my life... i started asking my sef if na like this i go dey live my life and again as per only child too much pressure is on me to marry.. chei....

Na so i begin reson some of my friends that e be like i will go back to my girl oo..
long story short i went back and she accepted me. i swore never to hurt her again
should be seeing her parents soon.

My people wife no too dey like girlfirends o o o o o o
if your woman dey give u peace of mind hold her tight...

Op i pray u meet her soon.. goodluck

Very hard than I tot.

I use to thing as a guy, when the times comes it will be easy but I was wrong.

U have money, the girl is materialistic
U play broke, they begin to complain
You go average, they say you have pride.

Abeg how can one get a normal girl that will wanna date and be patient till one gets married.

I even tot of having a baby mama.

Please tell me if you've seen my case.

I came back last year planning to go back within 2 years. I decided to not have any relationship while I'm here.

Now, less than 6 months in Nigeria, a lady liked me, I liked her and even my mother liked her. However, they didn't know that I liked her and I didn't make any moves.

Now, 1.5 years later, I've told her I like her too and she's confirmed she likes me. I really see her as a potential wife. She literally ticks every box. She doesn't even know that I'm going back. I don't know what to do.

I don't want to let this smart, intelligent and beautiful woman go and then come and post here when I'm 30 that I want to marry.

lefulefu:
sometimes i dey feel sorry for some of d abroad base guys when i see d way some homebase babes dey take scam dem. money wey d abroad guy go dey send to her she go dey use d money plan wedding with d main guy for naija wey she like.in many cases dem dey use dese abroad guys as dollar or euro ATM.what makes dem run away from nigerian ladies based overseas with them? as for age i have seen 30 something yr old ladies who look younger than some 20 something yr old girls.na how a woman take care of her body dey determine how she go look not her age.

I totally support your righteous anger!!!

Zielle:
You've written this number on your posts in your other monikers: 07032035317, same with these emails ayonaira2@zoho.com, calgaryfriend@zoho.com. You've another numbers and emails obviously. It's not me you're fooling.

You edited the post after I had quoted it. It's up to ya to marry whoever you want na. Just don't come disturbing us on Nairaland later. I wouldn't touch you with a 10-foot pole going by the traits you display.... but other girls hv low standards, i know.

Yimu. You might as well be a scammer.

You call yourself young at 32 going on 33 but 30, 31, 32-yo women are old? Dumb hypocrite. Man with the brain of a toddler, that's u.

This is a big lie o.

There are some 50 year of women that you won't be able to match in terms of desire for sex.

calgaryFriend:

You are right, I have seen many 30+ ladies here that look very 20 something.
But menopause does not care, a lady has a decreased sexual appetite at menopause and they become very irritable to things like sex.

So for a man who is still extremely aroused at 55+ years and a woman who is already tiring of sex, it becomes a huge problem.

Nature is on the side of men marrying younger girls..... Even our culture supports that approach.

You're using bus and taking about getting a Nigerian based wife that will be expecting mansion and Benz??


Abeg respect yourself o. Or let your babe come as a student first. Then see how things go.

calgaryFriend:

@zielle what is your take on this submission ?
I added my bus pass for July , do you believe me now ?

You're speaking some serious truth.

Although I think there are some ladies who are ready for marriage quite early. Or at least think they're ready for marriage.

Safitu:
But what do you expect when you’re dating 22 and 23 year olds? You can’t expect someone that young to be devoted to one man who is ready for marriage. Baby girl still wants to live her life and have fun. I’m not saying you need to date your grandmother, but sometimes when we are too strict on standards, especially things like age, which we can’t control, we find ourselves getting older by the year and still remaining single. It’s not until reality really sinks in, that we start modifying certain things, and sometimes it’s too late. I believe men should use their time wisely because it’s better to grow with your children. You want to be active with your kids whilst they’re young. When I was 10/11 my dad was in his late 30s, and I will forever be grateful for that.