i'm in a very trying period in my life.I'm Ibo and d Ikwerre girl i proposed to marry and later changed my mind because of her nasty behaviours,has made me lose weight over-night.d girl has stolen my money and d originals of my nysc,ssce,and university statement of result.She said i shld pay in N50,000 into her account b4 she releases my certificates for deciding not to marry her.I had earlier opened a N38,000 worth of bizness for and really taken good care of her while d whole thing lasted.pls nairalanders is dis fair?is dis not sheer wickedness and blackmail?Wht do u advice?

never promise to marry any woman unless you are very sure of it. HELL KNOWS NO FURY TNAN THAT OF A WOMAN'S SCORN

If you are cool with her parents, go to them

Her action is not justified at all. Her behavior is criminal. Call her and make her talk about her demands and record the conversation. Then take it to the police. She has no right to seize your certificate or try to extort you. Thank your stars that you didn't make a mistake of marrying her a thief and criminal like this girl. It's a police case.

If you don't want to take matters into your own hands and fashie all talks then i'd suggest you do as Seun has stated.
Make sure you get concrete proof that she is indeed in possession of all your documents and has do so without permission from you or anyone else.

Dont cave into her demands, but report her, with immediate effect to the nearest police station. Can you imagine such cheek, to rob someone of their livelihood?

My advice to you is to find a way and get the money across to her just in case she decides to deal with you in the Native way because such girls have no fear for the police or better still try and get anyone of her relatives to talk to her.

You've got right to change your mind to marry this Girl even at the Alter.
You should report her to the Police.

Just thank your stars u didn't marry this woman, what a criminal , whatever the case may be, u don't seize someone's certificates and demand for money , how did u get to meet this woman and even propose to her , didn't u see symptoms of were(madness), thank God U're free, u would ve had to pay for every night of sex and for every hour she takes care of your kids, if u had married her.

uyai:

never promise to marry any woman unless you are very sure of it. HELL KNOWS NO FURY TNAN THAT OF A WOMAN'S SCORN

If you are cool with her parents, go to them

Dear i get your point but on the other hand don't like the message behind it.

He wouldn't be the first to go through "hell" and come back because he promised and called off a marriage proposal. Some women do worse and YES its not right to dump the girl after her hopes have been made high but thats absolutely not good a reason to blackmail the person

If you really loved the person, does N50,000.00 put an end to the pain?? Some will say "well its a good start" but it could have been the girl saying no at the dying minute. For the records, girls refuse guys at the altar, marriage isn't something anyone should wish another go into with a doubting spirit But my people please always be SURE before reciting those words!!!

@ poster
If you guys have dated for a long time, and you just realised you didn't have a future now, she has no right in seizing your items, but what you did wasn't noble, i just have to say that. I guess one thing leads to the other

I suggest you do as Seun said, thats your best option or you can ask her to meet you somewhere, she with the documents and you with a cheque (which she would later realize was a fake one lol, would love to see the look on her face) but the girl might be too smart to be played like that, so again Seun has the right way out!! Beat her at her game, she wouldn't know what hit her. I advice you be prayerful, the girl sounds like a dangerous one, who knows her next move??

A desperate lady is capable of anything!! Watch your back.

1 fool her, let her think you want her back
2 Get your papers and
3 dump her cute ass

give her a fake check

I used to live in Port Harcourt and i know how those good for nothing Ikwerre people .Even though they act to be rough and mean but they are cowards.Don´t ever think of going through her parents because they are all the same.They will support her action.If you have any army friend i advice you talked to him and ask him or her for assistance coz the Ikwerre i know are not even afraid of the police so you better use a iron hard to follow her.

Next time don´t ever make a promise you cannot keep coz promise is a debit so when you make it you must try as much as u can to you keep it.

To:CKC:First poster:

Shame on you for making a promise and not keeping it. You are lucky that you changed your mind before you got to the church, if you had changed your mind at the church, she may have got a gun with her just for that. Whether you were acting stupid when you met her and didn't bother with her behavior and all of a sudden, she got issues. Did you find another lady? Are you telling some side of the story? What about the whole story?

It sounds like she is the smart one. Does she beat you too? Or that she got issues?

Anyways, based on the description of the place the lady is from. You may want to forget your certificates [say goodbye to all your hard earned work because of a lady], or get your certificates, pay her cash as she demands.

its time to go to the police. let me see how she will wrangle out of police wahala. (but you go settle them oh!)

drastic situations need drastic measures. she's now your ex so she's now the enemy anyways. dont even dream of paying her a penny cos once you start, she'll bleed you white.

CKC, dont even worry, if all else fails. You can have WAEC and NYSC, as well as your former alma mater to issue you another copy of your certificates. Look into that. That should not even be your last option, but your first option, because if you involve the police, you might have to pay exorbitantly to bring charges to your former girlfriend.

Best wishes.

na wa oh, some babes na waya

Sue her then take her to court

U see , we have a very dicey situation on hand because u've scorned this lady and i tell u for her to have gone this length shows how bitter she is right now. so man u 've got to thread carefully.
   4 those telling you to arrest her or prosecute i understand their sentiments but mister there is no telling how far this lady can go.
  have u imagined what she could likely do if she panics ? do u know what happens to a desperate person when he\she  panics? They simply freak out. This girl shuld not be pressured, u never can tell what's next.
    have u ever thot of her making a desperate move of DESTROYING your certificate? then what will u do .even if u take her to ICJ BY THAT TIME IT 'LL BE WORTHLESS,
   Mr just look around for her church members or any body u know she respects ,to TALK to her. i repeat  don't attempt to intimidate her because if she is a true Niger-delta  brought up, that wuld worsen matters. SHOW SOME LEVEL OF DIPLOMACY .EVEN IF IT MEANS PRETENDING BUT MAKE SURE U DON'T TELL HER U LOVE HER AGAIN IF U DON'T MEAN IT.
      I feel your pain bros but this shuld also serve as a warning to u and d other brodas & sistas out there to stop faking what they don' t feel. be sure of whatever promise u make;
just  as "Dettol" would say," be absolutely sure"


take care

I wouldn't wanna be in ur shoes man but what I can advice is this, don't use any kind of force for the lady, she could be dangerous. Am sure you can get re-issues of this certificates anyways so why u fretting? Anyways Goodluck but this is one decision you have to think about before u actually take it. Cheers!

@CKC
I blame you for all your misfortunes. A lot of guys come to PH and behave as if all the girls are cheap here, acting like you are smarter. For your info, I am not Ikwerre but from the southwest. Be truthful, what were the bad parts of your ex-fiancee that you did not know before? If you desire to have your credentials back, I would advise that you go negotiate with her. Whether you like it or not, you have no proof that she took the documents. She could as well destroy them and claim that she never saw them. Who knows if you are even telling us the truth. Was it that you dumbed her because you found a 'better' girl. Or maybe you even dumped her for her friend,

@swing4real
Are your people any better than the Ikwerres? Don't go condemning a people because of the misbehaviour of a few. Tell me what is really bad about the Ikwerres that you don't find else where? The main issue is selling land to several people. What about the omo oniles in Lagos, don't they do same? Please wake up and be mature.

What she did is bad actually. But are you sure you are not at fault also. Why are you so careless with all your vital documents? Are you sure you did not exposed all your world to her so as to woo her. I will advice you to sort it out with here. Make peace with her and settle everything amicably

Bless your star you didn't marry her sha!

I have had to delete a lot of posts suggesting that ckc should beat up his ex-fiancee. Ironically, those posts were all made by women. These bloodthirsty ladies are the ones encouraging men to engage in violence.

Thank God for your lucky escape! Better you found out what type of person she is before than after marriage. My adivice is to find out if you could get another copy of those certificates, even for a fee. If you can, follow that option and don't conact this girl again. I would not advice you to go to the Police becasue they are the biggest criminals you can ever find.

Someone hit and extensively damaged my car recently. The guy was just begging and had no intentions of paying for the damage. In my frustration I seized a shopping bag from his car. When they Police later became involved, they detained me for theft (even after recovery of the seized items). They tried to make out out my actions were more serious than it was. Of course I know they wanted money and they must have been rubbing their hands with glee after hearing my childrnens accent -  pound signs flashing in their eyes, They told me to get somebody to bail me and wanted to let this man go. I knew that this meant bribing them and I told them that I do not know anybody to bail me as I usually live in the UK. They then said they will release me but impound my car.

Meanwhile me and my children have already spent 6 hours at this filthy station. That was when I lost it, I said the if this was Nigerian justice, I was going back to the UK. That somebody damages my car and they detain me and my car and let the person go. I told them that I know what the wanted and that they will never get if from me. By this time my voice had risen an octave. They boss that ordered the impound then came out and told us to go with the car. I digress but I had to tell this story.

Please do not go to the Police as they will exthort money from you to help you.

If that's true, then maybe you can offer the police maybe 10,000 naira instead of the 50,000 she's demanding?

Don't forget that in naija police case, the highest bidder wins like in an auction. Remember she is a lady and she will do anything to quash ur claims, as advised earlier, just let it go and order new coppies of those certificates she's taken. Cut every contact wiv her.

My friend, pay her the money. You want to eat your cake and still have it.

Men like you are very Nigerian. This is a country where women are used and dumped without compensation. You will see a man marry a woman for ten years, and while he is working and looking for money, she stays at home giving birth to children and taking care of them. Then when the man is rich, he looks for a younger sexy woman and marry, and drives the former one away with compensation. His excuse "I worked for the money".

But in the U.K and U.S, you have to share properties acquired during marriage irrespective of who made it.

Your promise to this girl that you will marry her has made her forgo some things--both material or whatever. So for you to just change your mind, you should pay her for damages.

Seun:

I have had to delete a lot of posts suggesting that ckc should beat up his ex-fiancee. Ironically, those posts were all made by women. These bloodthirsty ladies are the ones encouraging men to engage in violence.

thank you!

You made the right choice not to marry her. She will do the worst if you eventually did. Call the nearest police station immediately!, This is criminal!

sue her to court IF U HAVE CONREATE EVIDENCE dont 4get BEYOND ALL REASONABLE DOUBT, go to the police if r ready for come today come tomoro, pray if u believe u have faith just as litlle as mustard seed (mustard seed ehn?),
but 50k will be enough to procure fresh credentials and u do that without pressure, afterrall one can still lose ones credentials or house somr times get burnt with the credentials, but b4 make sure u swore an affidevit saying that the first ones were stolen so that even if she uses it any where ut wil be bw her and the law. if the money go commot make e no be say na she chop am
on the contrary if u have the guts "maja" her if she is the other type she go succumb but e b like say she don value finsh know wetin u fit do

Mr CKC,

This is a police matter. Stealing of certificates is a crime. Now asking you to pay her money to retrieve them is extortion, another crime.

You need to get her arrested. No amount of money can replace your certificates. I can give you the names of policemen that will recover your stuff for you very neatly without delay. But you have to contact me privately for this.