Ojady:
Please note, some of these are applicable to man and woman
1. A whole lot of patience: True colours will start to emerge for hubby and you... also be patient with having babies... babies are self centred and drain out "the Tarzan and Jane" in you and your hubby
2. Be ready to change (The honeymoon is over): to be a mother to a big baby (her husband) that can talk, change his mind, annoy her and still want to Bleep later on at night
3. Be ready to lose friends (most of those her sheshere friends on the bridal train) gotta go!
4. Be ready to adopt another woman (her husband's mother) as a mother, only that, this woman can become many things in a blink of an eye ( a rival, who can do and even did all you have enrolled to do, in the life of your husband; an ally who can help you win over your hubby - if you re lucky; May you find favour)
5. Be ready to manifest undeveloped talent and skills: women are multi everything good or bad, it just depends on which is nurtured; a woman can do multiple things at ONCE; they may struggle initially, but if they hang in there, they will see many abandoned/undiscovered abilities...unfortunately it is called witchcraft amongst the ignorant
6. Be ready to experiment: in the kitchen, on the bed...trying different current practices of slay mamas... believe me, being a slay mama to an audience of one, your husband is very very easy... seduce am, do all sorts...
7. Be realistic: Married life like every thing in life has 2 sides: good, bad; light, darkness; happy, sad; Be ready to constantly realise that and adjust accordingly

Sabi woman wey get experience. More grease to your elbows

nairalandposter:


Take it easy, you seem too pained. Why be miserable over this matter?

And quit the mentality of waiting for what you want to be "offered", that's grandiose.

Idiots would open threads, fellow idiots would be catching feelings on top of idiocy, that's the problem of nairaland.

So in summary, you are saying I should not take it personal and men should just marry one because they all have nothing to "offer" ?

XhosaNostra:


I asked you a simple question. Don't shuck & jive around it, to take away focus from your own inability to do the things you're supposed to be capable of doing as a man. Can you build a chair for us to sit on while I serve a home cooked meal?

Take a few seconds and read the title of this thread thrice it's about the woman so stop deflecting from that and projecting your deflection on me but let me indulge you anyway.

Sorry babe this is modern times if you haven't noticed. I don't need to build you a chair when I can buy you one same way I talked about buying you household appliances abi should I build you a dish washer, washing machine and even freezer. Seriously I expect you to reason better.

You can open another thread about what men should do going into marriage and stating you won't be responsible for cooking because your man don't build you a chair or mould you a pot we will understand how badly this latest "earning a living" which has never happened before has eaten deep into our women senses.

princfred:


Sorry babe this is modern times if you haven't noticed. I don't need to build you a chair when I can buy you one same way I talked about buying you household appliances abi should I build you a dish washer, washing machine and even freezer. Seriously I expect you to reason better.

Looooool. It's the modern times only when it suits you? Then don't expect someone to slave over the kitchen stove for you either when you have two capable hands of your own. Keep up with the times. Be a modern man & go make me a sandwich!

Money ooooo.
if you are not financially independent, please don't marry.

financial stability

Teespice:
Money ooooo.

if you are not financially independent, please don't marry.

How can you particularly become financially independent when your country minimum wage is 20k?

DrObiHogan:

How can you particularly become financially independent when your country minimum wage is 20k?

20k??

better to earn that 20k and hold your head high than depending on him for all your needs and disrespected in the process.

by the way, minimum wage is 30k though yet to be implemented. in your bid to quote me, you just exposed how "not current" you are.

Sense.

chenzen:
lol... such women exist... oh, u men of little faith !!! where is your faith

Im not a man.

How faith come take concern wetin i write?

Phenomenal16:
...wowwwwwww......a virgin??
Interesting.......

Yes pls. Like if she's not a virgin then I don't see the need for a bride price. That will be a subject of debate on the negotiation table.

XhosaNostra:


Looooool. It's the modern times only when it suits you? Then don't expect someone to slave over the kitchen stove for you either when you have two capable hands of your own. Keep up with the times. Be a modern man & go make me a sandwich

Unfortunately most of you have not evolved to the modern times because women who expect the bolded have no problem providing shelter to a man even providing what will be cooked while you and your kind are still insisting men build you a chair maybe mould you a pot while you cant wrap your hypergamy brains around providing him a shelter like is obtainable in modern societies.

It's understandable as selfish half-copying whites has made your own earning a living a means to more entitlement from men and less responsibilities towards them while that of a men is to take on more responsibilities.
Make the man mould you pot no be only build chair and still make you sandwiches na because your are the first women to earn a living or even invented women earning a living.

A question is still waiting for you from my previous post
"Do you want a husband to share Mama job with since you earn a living or not? "

Teespice:


20k??

better to earn that 20k and hold your head high than depending on him for all your needs and disrespected in the process.

by the way, minimum wage is 30k though yet to be implemented. in your bid to quote me, you just exposed how "not current" you are.

Lol yet to be implemented indeed. Miss electric current. You could have atleast asked where I've been lately. Truth is let nobody talk about money or finance as a criterion for anything because to be frank, there's no money.

Sense
Sense
Sense.

princfred:
unfortunately most of you have not evolved to the modern times because women who expect the bolded have no problem providing shelter to a man even providing what will be cooked while you and your kind are still insisting men build you a chair maybe mould you a pot while you cant wrap your hypergamy brains around providing him a shelter like is obtainable in modern societies.

It's understandable as half copying has made your own earning a living a means to more entitlement from men and less responsibilities towards him while that of a men is to take on more responsibilities.

And how do you know what I can or cannot provide?

1st of all, there still exist people who're referred to as traditionalists. I'm a traditionalist at heart, in a sense that, it is not an issue for me to perform gender assigned roles, but I expect the man to also fulfill his side of the deal by being a provider in every sense of the word. I wouldn't even mind being a housewife to a man like that. But if I have to work for my own upkeep, then don't expect me to stick to the traditional role because we're both working, so house duties should be shared. Fair, isn't it so?

she should have sense, be flexible( understanding), ready to be committed, have some level of education, enterprising or have a Job to support her would be husand

Salvation
Fear of God
Industrious
Submissive
Prayerful
Teachable

Emotional maturity and meekness


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XhosaNostra:


And how do you know what I can or cannot provide?

1st of all, there still exist people who're referred to as traditionalists. I'm a traditionalist at heart, in a sense that, it is not an issue for me to perform gender assigned roles, but I expect the man to also fulfill his side of the deal by being a provider. If I have to work for my own upkeep, then don't expect me to stick to the traditional role because we're both working, so house duties should be shared. Fair, isn't it so?

First you are not the first woman to earn a living or get upkeep money. Mamas of old earned a living and worked very hard yet they knew their domestic duty without bothering the man with nonsense negotiations. I only play my domestic role and provide appliances to make yours easy. Sharing yours is at my whims not under any negotiation with unless in exceptional cases where you are incapacitated e.g pregnant. Again I didn't spend my time energy and money to marry you to start negotiating sharing your domestic responsibilities with you. Abi did/ do you comfortably use the money you earn to marry, shelter and empower me like I or the white modern ladies you want to imitate don't mind doing? Or is it you earn and keep your upkeep money but I use mine to shelter you and also we share your domestic responsibilities because you married me to be a goat abi? Even a goat don't suffer such fate from the most selfish shepherd. And I ask you again will a sleep over love peddler use the man as goatishly as that? And you wonder why some men find solace in a sidechick away from the "I'm earning my living" "wife"

Magnoliaa:


Nice one. And the most important, an empty head.

Like your own , abi?

Omar09:


Out of context, I can rearrange your moniker to datman .

just saying

there's a moniker by the name "datman" and we ain't same; so I'm"Damtan"

MannieA:




LMAO!
I guess that's all he needs... fine face, big bress,big ass and an empty head..
Then later he will come and start ranting about how women have nothing to offer except their bodies.. lmao

You too dey take things serious.. He was just joking, those cud av been part of it but I'm sure that's not all he wants... He is just joking

chenzen:
be virtuous


independent


dedicated to purpose.


homely.


be a good listener.


be productive and resourceful


problem solving skills.


multi-tasking abilities.


be a good chef.


be reserved yet sociable.


prayerful.


be a keeper.

be a team player.

ability to work efficiently under pressure. (handling frigidity)

I don't think is possible to have all this in one woman.
No perfect woman anywhere.

When a woman is responsible, everything will certainly fall into place.

princfred:
First you are not the first woman to earn a living or get upkeep money. Mamas of old earned a living and worked very hard yet they knew their domestic duty. I only play my domestic role and provide appliances to make yours eas. Sharing yours is at my whims not under any negotiation with unless in exceptional cases where you are incapacitated e.g pregnant. Again I didn't spend my time energy and money to marry you to start negotiating sharing your domestic responsibilities with you. Abi did you use the money you earn to marry, shelter and empower me like I or the white modern ladies you want to imitate don't mind doing?

What are you on about, which white ladies? If you're going to put a race spin on this, then perhaps you should know that in many white households, duties are shared. When one cooks, the other one does the dishes etc because a marriage is considered a partnership, a 50/50 relationship, not some twisted scenario where one has to be subservient to the other. But me as a black woman who was raised with different cultural values say, provide for me & I'll do the rest. It's a fair deal. What will never happen is for me to work & then come home to you, waiting for me to serve you a hot plate. You'll starve. I'll do those things only because I want to & not because it's expected of me.

XhosaNostra:


What are you on about, which white ladies? If you're going to put a race spin on this, then perhaps you should know that in many white households, duties are shared. When one cooks, the other one does the dishes etc because a marriage is considered a partnership, a 50/50 relationship, not some twisted scenario where one has to be subservient to the other. But me as a black woman who was raised with different cultural values say, provide for me & I'll do the rest. It's a fair deal. What will never happen is for me to work & then come home to you, waiting for me to serve you a hot plate. You'll starve. I'll those things only because I want to & not because it's expected of me.

Hence why you should be on your own instead. Your mama's worked, earned a living and still ensured their husbands didn't sleep hungry. I think you said "earning your upkeep money" Are you earning a living for the man? If the answer is no then stay on your own earn your living and be responsible to only yourself because that man is better off with a love peddler who also earns a living for herself and he won't have to go out of his way to cater/ be responsible to/ shelter her.

princfred:
Hence why you should be on your instead your mama worked waned a living and still ensured their husbands didn't sleep hungry. Are you earning a living for the man? If the answer is no then stay on your own earn your living and be responsible to only yourself.

No, I cannot be on my own because not every man has your mindset, fortunately. It's all about figuring out what works. I've never had a problem keeping relationships going because I'm a fair person & I expect the same.

princfred:
Hence why you should be on your own instead. Your your mama worked earned a living and still ensured their husbands didn't sleep hungry. I think you said "earning your upkeep money" Are you earning a living for the man? If the answer is no then stay on your own earn your living and be responsible to only yourself because that man is better of with a love peddler who also earns a living for herself and he won't have to go of his way to cater be responsible to her.

wisely said

MannieA:




LMAO!
I guess that's all he needs... fine face, big bress,big ass and an empty head..
Then later he will come and start ranting about how women have nothing to offer except their bodies.. lmao

To avoid the ranting, please what do u think a woman should have/acquire before thinking of agreeing to a man's marriage proposal?

(1) A job to support ur husband
(2) know how to cook
(3) must nt be greedy/stingy
(4) must knw how to have gud sex. Sex does nt determine mariage bt enhance mariage life
(5) respect/ gud character.
(6) dont cheat. Cheating wife cant last 4years in mariage

IbrahimSkiba:




Im not a man.

How faith come take concern wetin i write?

lol. sorry... I typed in a hurry, how are u sweetheart?

Duru009:




I don't think is possible to have all this in one woman.
No perfect woman anywhere.

When a woman is responsible, everything will certainly fall into place.

true perhaps