My finance earn more than me and it's make life miserable for me.

Should i still go ahead and marry her, or should I call off the relationship?

And look for a better job that i will be earning like my fiancee? I need your advice.

Please, do tell us what the problem is and then we

can know how to and what to aadvice?

So why exactly are you jealous of your better earning mate??

Why is it making life miserable for you? Is it because you won't be able to control her as you wish you could?

i dont think that is a problem u know. if ur matured about it and se loves u that much, i dont see any issue. good for u to look for a better job while u keep this one but dont break the relationship cos of this. in actual fact, u should encourage her to excel in her career cos she cannot spend the bucks alone u know. be wise.

It appears you are intersted in her money not in her. You have started quarelling over money now, if you marry, you will quarel on other things as well. Is like you have not understood each other very well.
When did this relationship start? Is it after she has got the job? What a hell are you interested in how much she earn and how she spend it at this stage? I na money you want, you better look for sugar money and widows now. If na her you want, leave her money alone.

i think you need to tell us exactly how she is 'making your life miserable'
based on what you're saying, it looks like you'r playa hating your fiancee.
i say this because you seem to think that ' earning like my fiancee ' will solve your 'problem'

ogogoro:

Why is it making life miserable for you? Is it because you won't be able to control her as you wish you could?

That's exactly what he thinks, its not always like that. Not all women are arrogant, it all depends on both of you. She's not going to spend the money all alone, is she?

So, whats your problem.

I wish this fiancee would log in here and see what awaits her.
No woman likes a man with a low self esteem issue

look for a better paying job, there's nothing wrong with that.What I really find frightening is the idea that u need to get a job that pays as much as hers to keep the relationship going
what happens if you get a better job (pray u do) and she gets an even better one is it now a competition
however I would like to say u didn't shed light on how she has been making ur life miserable.this would have placed us in a better position to advise u.
who knows, more money might not be the solution in this particular case
get over the psychological disadvantage (that u obviously have put urself in) and be the man,that might work don't u think

This is kinda ambiguous,are you jealous or she's very arrogant.

If she's very arrogant,i don't think the best thing is just getting a better job,you also need to dump her.

But before you that ,you need to assess yourself and see if you are not the one with low self esteem.

IWhat?

Her earning more than you is making your life miserable?. but not her?

What an egotistic man!

Guys like you dont want your spouse prosper.

From your post, you have only two problem.

No. 1- You
No. 2- You

I think you have to change your orientation. Self-centred man! Tufia!

mellow:

Please, do tell us what the problem is and then we

can know how to and what to aadvice?

My dear thanks ooh

@ poster
you're a disgarce to the word "love"
So you'd rather leave your fiancee, the love of your life, your "supposed" soul-and life mate just because of some paper notes. Shame on you

My advice?? Leave the girl, let some other worthy well esteemed and respectable man come and swing her off her feet, then you could go and live in an oil company and make all the money in the world and be miserable for the rest of your life, kid!
Infact your brain is too immature to marry the girl, because you obviously still think like a 10yr old, and that's not good for her at all

When you finally get a child, ask us if you should leave your child beacause . .
Don't go and marry the girl and live a happy life, continue having some unnecessary thoughts that'll only eat you deep till you're left ll lonely. If you're able to get a better paying job, fine. If not, search til you find, but in no circumstances should you let that come over your priorities of a happy married life. Afterall some graduate ladies are married to ungraduate business men, and are all living very very happy.

Just for the records, if you don't have confidence in yourself and self-esteem like my sister babyO said, then even with all the money in the world you wont have a smooth marriage, which lady wants to get married to a guy they can't respect anyway??

Mr. please eehn hun, snap out of it!!

U better tell we guys the truth what may be wrong between u and her maybe we can advice u.

U'll form a good team with Taliban

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-123.0.html

so what? i will be proud if my wife earns 500% percent more than i do.

ogogoro:

Why is it making life miserable for you? Is it because you won't be able to control her as you wish you could?

Abi o, he needs to answer the question. I don't know what your girlfriend's salary has got to do with your life to the extent that you are miserable.

babyosisi:
I wish this fiancee would log in here and see what awaits her. No woman likes a man with a low self esteem issue

I JUST PITY THE POOR SOUL THAT IS YOUR FIANCEE.

People, people, calm down and get logical! The truth is, if we take an opinion poll of guys around, you'll see that many of them will greatly resent their wives or girlfriends earning more than they do. In their opinions, not being able to provide for the girl unmans them, and true to type, so many people spout horror stories about rich wives turning their husbands into houseboys. We all have heard these crazy stories before, some people are a lot more susceptible to them than others.
Such fears by guys reveal great insecurity and are, IMHO, entirely needless. even though i'm a high income earner, i'd love it if my wife earned more than i do! Afterall, when 2 people marry, isnt everything supposed to belong to both of 'em? I'd prefer my wife was a high income earner too, so we could join forces and do great things for the family. Hell, if i had my wife to rely on, i could easily spend my cash on a 70inch LCD TV without feeling too guilty

Seriously though, such an attitude is bad, but if he can't handle it, it doesn't make him a very bad person. only weak! My best friend was going out with this guy who couldn't handle the fact that she earned 3 times his salary, he was always getting hostile towards her. i had to advise her to break it off because it isnt worth it taking such an attitude to marriage.

My advice? This guy's gotta seek counselling, perhaps go to his pastor or someone else, i dunno. Let someone talk sense into him.

But then again, it's funny how many girls are heaping abuses on his head. I wager he saw this thread

'Is it Wrong for a lady to want to marry a rich man'
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-10469.0.html


and saw how many gals on NL were proclaiming that a poor guy isn't worth considering for marriage. After seeing how a cross-section of gals think about relatively poor guys, how secure d'ya think he'd feel?



@Poster
That's a terrible attitude to have. The truth is, the only obstacle to yur happiness is YOU! No matter how many stories you think you've heard, i've heard far more of happy marriages where the wife earned more. As long as there's love and mutual respect, then there's no need to bring money into your relationship.
But, for Ikoro's sake, if you can't snap out of this, then don't marry her. Breaking off with her could hurt her, and it grieves me to give this kind of advice, but if you don't change and she continues to earn more, you'll make her miserable for life.

you are obviously that type that would like to be called 'master' by people you regard as lowly classed.Unfortunately, your fiancee can't be "squeezed" into this category!
i'll tell you what to do- GET A GUN AND SHOOT YOUR BALLS OFF FOR NOT HAVING A BETTER PAYING JOB(just playing with you o!) but seriously, you need to worry less about things like these as they cause a whole lot of stirs in relationships especially when you as a man start to allow you ego to come into play, because of money





would you like your wife to earn less and always ask you for money or would you rather be the best that you can and allow her some sort of financial independence too? think about it

You need to assess yourself very well. Check your ego if its not deceiving you. Most times when women are ahead of men, then inferiority complex set in for most men and this is bad, too bad.
Men should be more matured and be ready to take the right position of the head, i dont mean being a dictator.
You need to set the pace of relationship. She may be making it more than you do, fine, but you are put are through what seems to be right for your relationship, your future family.
And, if she is arrogant indeed you need to call it quit.

Your present financial position is not where you will be 4ever.


Sky is just the beginning , Bro. Rise up and get something done.

Hey mate' U should feel challenged and not Insecure, step up either by more education to get a higher paying job or get a loan, maybe from her as well if possible and start a profitable business. just to prove to yourself and her that u are also capable , mind u do not compete with her though, just feel challenged, believe me with determination you'll get there, you'll both benefit from the results 

MAN!!! na inferiority complex dey worry you

Na Wa o.

@everyone
Let's be objective naw. haba!

@poster
is this chick of yours making an issue out of it?

if she is, it's either you gird ur loins and look for a better job or start ur own business or dump her outright

if she's not, then you are insecure and have a low self-esteem and you should get rid of those before you even
try to earn more.

i understand how u feel but u are actually making urself feel miserable and if ué not careful u'l become misery personified.

ask her friends to know what she thinks about this disparity in ur salaries or better still talk to her candidly. For chrissake, she's YOUR FIANCEE naw?

Na Wa o. We guys atimes,

instead of whining about it, just go out and work hard and get a better job. she didnt steal the money. she's working for it and you can too!

don't judge the guy until u work one mile in his shoes "nairalanders u are alway too fast in accessing situations without looking beneath the underneath"

as a man thats a serious problem.best dump her and get one of the younger jambites[poor and sexy] and try to stay ahead this time around u lazy-ass!

It appears your the one that is making life miserable for both yourself and her.

boye1:

don't judge the guy until u work one mile in his shoes "Nairaland users u are alway too fast in accessing situations without looking beneath the underneath"

abeg, who has time? do we need a crystal ball to know this young man's got issues with himself ?

has the lady lauded her money over you, or is she complaining that u cant keep up?

if u its such a biggie for u, take doncartel's advice. period.

[b][/b]u dont understand wot love is all about. all the same tell us wot the real probs is and y u are miserable.

? ? ?

@ texazzpete

word! good talk.

@ poster

i understand how u feel but u gotta try to look beyond her payslips. As long as it's not making her disrespect u, as long as she doesn't treat u wrong, why worry? just love her and continue working hard.