What a sad story

BBBmall25:
Madam, Why Did U Watched Goat Went Close To The Yam, And U Did Nothing Just Because U Asumed U Trained The Goat Well?,, Ok, Now That The Yam Have Been Eaten, Should I Ask U To Kill The Goat Or Bury The Yam? Me Am Not Good In Advising In This Kind Of Play. May God Hep Me Pass This Kind Tmtatn

Best reply in a proverb form.

I need to save and use this once with my friends.

Lmao

Sparro:

After calling a meeting of every party involved, voila! The problem will be solved.. Talking empty head without brain

It's too early to sound stupid!But I will ignore your attitude just this once.

Calling a family meeting is for the reason to first establish where the problem came from and the steps that should be taken to ascertain the truth and nothing but the truth.
The solution which never be a lasting one,if the husband is responsible lies on decisions that will be taken individually and collectively.

calgaryFriend:


You need to understand that there is something called polygammy.
That is what your ancestors practiced so trying to pretend as if Africans have always been monogamous is something very stupid.

A lady with multiple partners is not the same thing as a man with multiple partners.

And for a lady in Africa, husband is an absolute necessity, I dont know where you live but you sound like you have been watching too much hollywood.

Dont you see how many threads single ladies in their 30s make everyday complaining of not seeing a spouse ?

If the wife leaves the man today, there are hundreds of ladies that will be glad to jump into that position and do you have another spouse for the woman ?

Stop saying husband is not a necessity , as long as you live in Africa it is.

Even If you have to practice polygamy, Must it be with your wife's relation?
I shiver at your gut. What kind of humans do we have walking on the surface of this earth?
Any man who could sleep with his wife's relation without blinking an eye will definitely do that to his Daughter. Facts!

The mother said she was. Not all mother's know their daughters' true status on virginity.

sexiestharam:
Almost every advice I have seen on this thread makes me puke. She is 19 and was a virgin before coming to your house. Isn't it obvious your husband seduced or raped that girl? He was also the one that volunteered to take her to the hospital. Doesn't it mean he knew what he did? Op said her husband is a respectable man. I laugh. What's respectable about a man who sleeps or rapes his wife's niece? Your husband is a goat. Ewure. If you still want to stay with a goat, that's your business. To all those advising her to have the niece commit an abortion, what if that's not what the niece wants? It is her body, it is her child she would kill and her life is at stake here. What about the memories that would always be there. Aunty Op, do whatever you want. We all know in the end only you would advise yourself.

cooooooks:
Arrested for what? Adultery? That is not a crime. The girl is 19 so it's not statutory take either.

I have not mentioned a crime was committed.... The person carrying the load, knows the person that packed the load.......

The packer of the load, is denying packing the load. How do you get the truth out, without using instruments of law?......

You might have been a side chick to a married man when you were still single and it has come back to backfire you. Karma Is A Bitch!

nkwuocha1:


It's too early to sound stupid!But I will ignore your attitude just this once.

Calling a family meeting is for the reason to first establish where the problem came from and the steps that should be taken to ascertain the truth and nothing but the truth.
The solution which never be a lasting one,if the husband is responsible lies on decisions that will be taken individually and collectively.

Lols hahahahahahahahaha

Like she can't live without her husband.. No husband no life.. Better stay with and die in agony than live separately in peace.. No Africans we are either cursed or crazy..

AgreatMan:


Agneseze

If you follow this advice, you will crumble your marriage with your own hands. It doesn't mean it is a faulty advise, you just need to determine if you want to settle this or your want to throw blames.

D first person to blame is the OP. You brought a matured female into your own home because u couldn't take your of your home yourself.

A man and a woman are wired differently. Firstly, a man is attracted by what they see n u brought him something to see. Secondly, a man might vow never to touch a woman, but if the woman touches him...then... Since she wasn't raped, she could have initiated it.

Your husband did it but you cannot allow this ruin your marriage. You must also not allow him lose face. That child is yours but you must ensure it never happens again, n your ability to ensure this doesn't happen depends on d level of influence you have on him.

calgaryFriend:


This does not sound like a wise thing to do, how will she call the whole village on her husband based on an accusation that has not been verified.
And even if she eventually verifies it she does not have to expose her dirty laundry in the open, she has a marriage to keep nonetheless.

When tree falls on tree you remove the uppermost one first.

The first thing she needs to do is to use wisdom to establish if her husband is the one responsible or not.

Have you though about the damage your suggestion would make if her husband is been wrongly accused ?
Or do you think it is not possible that the husband may be wrongly accused ?

This is not the time to betray emotions , this is the time to use wisdom.

Your idea on the whole thing is bizarre. Is the marriage important after fornication? Why must she protect an already bastardized union? The things you say for women to do is unacceptable. Marriage isn't heaven and Earth. Get over it and stop concealing the evil that men do.

So she should keep quiet and allow rape/societal norms to decay because she has a marriage to protect? Do you even think of what you're advising? Wisdom? Wisdom?! I hope you have this same wisdom when it hits close.

NL people and busy bodi sef , after the lady's " I can't sleep......" rant una carry the matter dey fight una sef and did not e en give her the opportunity to get good advice or give more insight into the matter....this forum was not like this at least 12 years ago.....getting worse by the day and Seun...you just dey there dey look?

If your niece is very sure that the pregnancy belongs to ur husband,it means your husband was the person that either seduced her into having affairs with him or might ve threatened her, since she and her mum is claiming she was a virgin before coming to stay with your family.All in all,the best solution is to first find out the actual owner of the pregnancy,all other actions to be taken will fall in place. But for now,be strong.

theButterfly:
OP, to find out the truth

use your own intuition
-Look back on their closeness and recall: anything you might've noticed but dismissed, anything you noticed after getting home from work or during times you were away from the house, changes in interaction w/ you, etc.

Ask him to take a lie detector test
-If he's innocent and has nothing to hide, he would accept this in order to clear himself. If he's guilty, he's going to refuse.

Get a DNA paternity test
-This is likely what you and the girl's family would have to wait for, so that would mean waiting until the baby is born. At least he cannot stop you people from doing a DNA test on the baby, so the truth will eventually come out then.

On which baby?

Midas01:
Gosh! Is common sense that scarce?
Bringing the wife's attitude into question in a matter that clearly has nothing to do with her.

Oga, you're a big senseless hypocrite if you can't condemn evil. Wait till your wife gets pregnant for your nephew so you can take your own advice and forgive her.

If u really expect me to engage in name calling with u, u are lost.
if u really believe that a couple's actions can be totally independent of each others in marriage, u have never been married.
The fact is she didn't state that her husband has been philandering or had affairs in the past, and also went ahead to assert him as an honourable man even in the face of such allegations . not many married women can say that about their man after many years.
I am as logical as they come. Common sense takes nothing at face value.

Before DNA came shebi dem no dey do paternity test ni... we aren't in court here no need for these semantics

alphaNomega:


Hahaha...so if your brother is accused of getting a girl (let's say one of his female friends) preggy, he should pay for the DNA test? You people are unbelievable.

In case you don't know, the burden of proof rests on the one who alleges.

LimAnc:
She can't get such information from m the doctor.. He is under oath to withhold such information except when called upon by a court of law..

GogetterMD:

The doctor can't disclose confidential patient information

In the real world, yeah possibly, but in Nigeria where MONEY TALKS, you will get this information in no time....

Btw, since husband went to doc with the babe, wifey can just dragged the husband with her, and they will get the information again (it's not confidential to the person who was at hospital with her and possibly paid for the test)

Why is everyone quoting my post?

theButterfly:
Why is everyone quoting my post?

Which one

You are advocating for a continuation of Nigerian Police Thuggery. If they do this and a good lawyer is involved, they will sue the police for damages and even sue the wife for kidnapping, conspiracy to commit kidnapping, etc.

The police have ZERO place in this matter. If they want to involve the law, it is through MARRIAGE COURT. Marriage court would most likely give them time or appoint a counselor and if nothing is resolved, grant divorce.

Lexusgs430:


I have not mentioned a crime was committed.... The person carrying the load, knows the person that packed the load.......

The packer of the load, is denying packing the load. How do you get the truth out, without using instruments of law?......

BarrElChapo:
Before DNA came shebi dem no dey do paternity test ni... we aren't in court here no need for these semantics

You don't have to be in court to apply logic.

This is another angle I didn't even think of he
has known that girl from the tender age of 6..
yet at 19 you sleep with her, someone that could be called your daughter.. Why don't we have a sex offenders list in Nigeria that man needs to top that list.. he's despicable !

olabrinks:
It is very possible. A man that can not control his sexual urge to his own niece in law, which I’m sure he witnessed her upbringing from a very young age, can sleep with his child. You would be so surprised how many fathers sexually molest their children, it’s absolutely disgusting.

BRATISLAVA:


Your idea on the whole thing is bizarre. Is the marriage important after fornication? Why must she protect an already bastardized union? The things you say for women to do is unacceptable. Marriage isn't heaven and Earth. Get over it and stop concealing the evil that men do.

So she should keep quiet and allow rape/societal norms to decay because she has a marriage to protect? Do you even think of what you're advising? Wisdom? Wisdom?! I hope you have this same wisdom when it hits close.

This is the problem with the youths in that country, full of activity but no intelligence.

You took your time to criticise my input but failed to provide an alternative.

I raised very cogent points which you failed to address in anyway.

How does calling the 2 family solve the problem, were you there to know that the man is the owner of the pregnancy ?

The effrontery with which ignorant people write rubbish on this platform is mindboggling.

Pearl05:



There is no how she will accuse the man if the man didn't fall his hands by planting in her garden even once. Why didn't she call someone else like neighbour?

That man committed the offense of sleeping with her but the pregnancy might even belong to another so he should pay for the DNA test.

So if she called the neighbour, that one should also pay for DNA? Truly women are emotional beings.

calgaryFriend:

This is the problem with the youths in that country, full of activity but no intelligence.

You took your time to criticise my input but failed to provide an alternative.

I raised very cogent points which you failed to address in anyway.

How does calling the 2 family solve the problem, were you there to know that the man is the owner of the pregnancy ?

The effrontery with which ignorant people write rubbish on this platform is mindboggling.

BarrElChapo:
This is another angle I didn't even think of he
has known that girl from the tender age of 6..
yet at 19 you sleep with her, someone that could be called your daughter.. Why don't we have a sex offenders list in Nigeria that man needs to top that list.. he's despicable !

Brilliant perspective. He has known her from 6. Valid point. Beyond any argument, she skins to his daughter. He shouldn't be arrested, he should be strapped and taken for psychiatric evaluation


This isn't just sex, this is incest


Why do people ignore consequences when carrying out evil acts?

cooooooks:
You are advocating for a continuation of Nigerian Police Thuggery. If they do this and a good lawyer is involved, they will sue the police for damages and even sue the wife for kidnapping, conspiracy to commit kidnapping, etc.

The police have ZERO place in this matter. If they want to involve the law, it is through MARRIAGE COURT. Marriage court would most likely give them time or appoint a counselor and if nothing is resolved, grant divorce.

You seem to care about the man, than the woman.... Someone put her in the family way, she mentioned a name, he denied responsibility......

Someone must be held responsible + accountable.....

Or you would rather await DNA results, which might not even happen, the man might have other plans when he realises, she is keeping the pregnancy.......

Chaiii

So so many things are wrong with so many people....

to be sincere with you madam, your husband needs your support at this time, not forgetting that the deed has been done and you cannot undo that. More so, your sister is already taking the side of your niece irrespective of the fact that the allegation was true or not. the simple way of you getting to know the truth from your husband is by you making him to trust you, comport him and make him feel relax that it's no big deal though you worried in your mind. fight for him to and make your sister know that though she claim her daughter was a vergin before coming to you and you too trust your hubby that he can not engage in such. with this I'm sure if really he's guilty, he will be ashame of it and come out plain for you. Don't forget, he's the father of your four children. you still need him. This is your cross, you need to carry it.

EmekaBlue:
Ur husband sef....he went skin diving instead of using a condom.

Sorry madam...life is a bitch, shit happens. I think ur niece should mayb wash d pregnancy away since its still at d early stage

Is that the best U got??

ornicus:


You think
1) a woman wants a constant reminder of her husbands indiscretion in her face for the next 20 years?
2) a woman wants to go through the wahala of raising a child from baby to toddler to kid to tween? You think raising kids is easy?
3) a woman wants to directly interact with her new Co wife?

I am a woman so I say no. But does this same woman want to
1. Be an accomplice to murder or even probably a bad abortion leading to death of her niece,
2. Bring discord in her extended family forever
3. Want to divorce and leave her children or even take them
4. Live bitter all her life?
Forgiveness is a choice, so is love.
In my opinion, if she can’t do what I suggested, she had better sue him for divorce and all he is worth. It’s either all the way or no way at all!

fykes:

If u really expect me to engage in name calling with u, u are lost.
if u really believe that a couple's actions can be totally independent of each others in marriage, u have never been married.

Then please why did her husband insert his penis inside his own niece in law under their roof? Was his actions totally independent or did he think about his wife? But now the deed is done, the husbands feelings must be put into consideration. Okay that’s totally logical.

ctleurocollege:



Is this supposed to make her happy?


OP, the ball is in your court, if you confirm that your husband truly impregnated your niece you can decide to separate from him for your peace of mind

Lol. Only forgiveness can make her happy