Should She Or Should She Not?

hi yàll. serious advice needed please.

A married friend of mine has a bit of a problem and really needs your advice. her husband has been very nasty to her in the past one month. He gets easily angry and irritable with her and tries to pick quarrels with her over the slightest issues.

She's been so miserable and confused. a few weeks ago, she meet another guy who has been paying her some serious attention, despite the fact that he knows she`s married(he`s also married). each time she has those increasingly frequent fights with her husband, she turns to the other guy to chat and make herself happy.

Now she has fallen in love with the man and is really contemplating having at least a fling with him. she claims her husband is the one pushing her to do it with hies constant nagging and fightings?

Please Nairaland users, what do you suggest I tell her as a friend?

The married man she has "fallen in love" with probably treats his own wife the same way your friend's husband treats her. I guess it's a case of the grass on the other side always being greener. How long as she been married?

she would just complicate things for herself she shouldnt try it,women r supposed to be more tolerant when it comes to marriage,she should try and work things out,i hope hes not abusing her physically though,that would have been anutha story coz her life may be at risk or the risk of losing a body part she should be prayerful and ask God for guidance,apart from that she should 4get the other guy,she will definitely cause complications for herself if she doesnt

This is a serious case.

I suggest you should advice her to stick to her husband, I mean there is no relationship that is 100%, there is always problems here and there.
First of all you said she just met this guy recently and the guy is also married and he is also paying serious attention to you. "Be careful" that guy might not be responsible enough because most men are cunning and are ready to take the slightest chance of every opportunity they see.

I suggest you should go back home, sit down and re-think ways you can settle this re-occuring dispute with your husband rather than running to another "Married" man.

Goodluck!

She does not need to cheat on the guy. She thinks it is revenge? It wil come back to her one day. She should just try and talk things over with the guy. Pray too.God does the impossible.

I think she should leave her husband if she thinks he is REALLY NO GOOD and go for Mr. Enchanting if she really thinks he would do the same for her ie LEAVE HIS WIFE. Then they can live happily ever after or TRY AGAIN when it doesnt go as they have planned.

People always fail to realise that relationships are just exactly what it says on the box - A CHANCE TO RELATE to someone. So you often have to put stuff into it. Just like cooking a soup, you put in ingredients, a little salt, a few herbs, some stock etc and you get out soup. If your soup don't taste right you aint putting in the right ingredients or you aint putting in the right amount. Simple.

Take control of your relationships, a bit on the side ? That aint goin ta help.

An affair is never the solution, like seun said, the grass is always greener on the other side.

You may just enjoy the friendship (know where to draw the friendship line), make other friends besides him

@poster

that is a difficult one to answer without knowing both couples for a long time. if she is really unhappy with her marriage, she had better see a marriage counsellor and try to work it out. Maybe her husband is also seeing someone else. She should try to work out the underlying probs in her marriage, what has brought about this change in her husband?

If they can't work things out, then that is divorce is there for. instead of making each other miserable and their kids, whilst they have fun outside, cheating on each other

the other married is using a clear marketing strategy


he found a loophole in the competition and he's capitalising on it.

Tell your friend or if its really you that this other guy has been doing this for awhile and sooner of later some other vulnerable lady will come and he'll just chop and clean mouth.

If you hubby is giving you aggro then find satisfaction in your God, your talents , your favorite movie, pamper yourself and rock hard with some correct friends(where husbands are not the topic)

what ever yuor hubby's mood it will pass and only time will tell whether it has anything to do with you

@ seun

she`s been maried for 6 months.

@ seun

she`s been married for 6 months

thanks y`all. i really appreciate ur contributions. i only hope she listens to these advice.

@ ijogbon

nuff sed!!

the sentence states "her husband has been very nasty to her in the past one month" just a month and she is already considering cheating , she must really want to cheat not cos her husy is nasty but cos she wants it , my advise pray for ur husband and leave someone else's that is adultery and its a big sin, u should be a woman of virtue not of promiscuosity , is this what u want ur kids to turn out to become? not been patient in difficult times ?

if ur answer is yes then go ahead and cheat

what is all this about? How could she have even come up with the idea of cheating on her husband, is that a solution to her problems, the devil you know is better than the angel you dont know. My candid advice is that she should stick to her husband, marriage is for better for worse, most marriage doesnt stable until the fifth year, you cant be jumping from one man to another because of flimsy escuse, do you know what that man will also come up with after he has go to bed with you? There is no problem without a solution in this world. Pray to God and  also open your eyes and see what you are also doing wrong, it takes two to tango.

am so pissed when pple give advice that they take.
so many replies different versions of the story.
well everyone is entitle to their own opinions.

for me, i dont always like it when there is a quarel and the first object of attck is the guy.
most times we ladies drive the guys so nut that they start misbehaving.
yes the guy misbehave, then must she revenge by falling in love wth another married man, my sis that is adultery and papa God will not accept that as a reason.
guys are not insane, there must be a reason why he changed his behaviour to her, who knows if she had being having extra marital affair and the guy got to know and decide to let her be, there are a 1001 things that we ladies can do.
she is claiming that her husband is pushing her to the wall, lets us all ask what she did to the poor guy. we dont judge adding sentiments to issue,
like a dutiful wife (which i guess she is not), she should first ahve examined herself, search if the fault is not from her, then called her husband, (we ladies know when and how to get information from our heartrob), asked him where she went wrong, who knows the guy might be having a issues at work or other challenges. instead she went about looking for shelter elsewhere.
MY ADVICE :
FORGIVE YOUR SELF FIRST
FORGIVE YOUR HUSBAND
TALK AND IRON THINGS OUT
PRAY MORE TO THE ALL SUFFICIENT ONE
CUT OFF FROM THE OTHER GUY.

are you married yourself poster? Please answer this question first.

@ ayeesha tell her i said she shouldnt be gaulible that man she thinks she loves is just taking advantage of her situation and shes been very gaulible.
shes supposed to keep her head straight, if every woman cheats on her husband cos he nags too much or his beign nasty then there wont be lasting marriages the word is 'for better for worse' or did her church skip that part.

Tell your Friend not to even think of cheating on her husband. It is a taboo to cheat on her husband.
She should pray to God and also try and find out what the husband likes and do it.
Men are not animals, she must ve been irritting the man.
Tell her to try and get late Bimbo Odukoya tapes or Books on marriage and relationships she will have the answer to her problem.

@ poster,
shes been married 6mths and she wants to leave?when she said for better or worse and was smiling at her husband in front of the multitude, did she think every day of the marriage will be spent in a festive mood?

my dear poster, tell your friend that she has spent 6mths in her marriage and God knows how long developing a relationship with another man, time she would have invested in her own marriage. what has she not done that she ought to do?what did she do that she ought not to have done?she should ask herself these questions and seek the solution to her problems.

y did she marry him in the first place?does she really love her husband?is their marriage an agreement and a sham?are you sure your friend has no hidden agenda?

if you dont have the answers to these questions, then your friend hasnt told you everything.

A married friend of mine has a bit of a problem and really needs your advice. her husband has been very nasty to her in the past one month.  He gets easily angry and irritable with her and tries to pick quarrels with her over the slightest issues.
we need more details.what does she do that makes him 'pick quarrels' with her?

She's been so miserable and confused. a few weeks ago, she meet another guy who has been paying her some serious attention, despite the fact that he knows she`s married(he`s also married). each time she has those increasingly frequent fights with her husband, she turns to the other guy to chat and make herself happy.


Now she has fallen in love with the man and is really contemplating having at least a fling with him. she claims her husband is the one pushing her to do it with hies constant nagging and fightings?

you do realise that this guy is probably a predator who does this all the time? (taking advantage of unhappy women?)

@ seun she`s been maried for 6 months.

SIX months! is your friend contemplating violating her wedding vows after just six months!

cheating on her husband will only make things much, much worse. Can you imagine what would happen if he found out?

your friend frightens me.has chaeting on partners been her standard modus operandi in the past?

@ayeesha
She been married for 6months? 6 months? Damn, the honey moon is not even over and she creeping? Yeah she the one creeping here !!!    

I don't get it _{shakes head and tries to make sense of it all} 6 months is not even enough time to have opened ALL the wedding presents and she finds time to go to work, come home to cook and take care of the home like a good married woman, notice that her man be trippin AND start an AFFAIR, now she want to f**k damn, I don't get.

Maybe the man is angry that the presents he got were not going to pay off the wedding expenses, maybe the brides folks didnt give his folks enough food at the wedding, maybe the pictures didnt come out good, maybe NEPA f**king took light that afternoon, there are a million and one reasons why the guy might be giving his new wife grief. After 1 MONTH of the GUY ANNOYING HER !!!! (and 5 Good months of marraige I guess) she has this guy (already) damn !!!!

I don't get it.

Thats why I was much happier when I didnt think I was ever going to get married.
Marriage ? I just don't know what the hype is, building yours and another persons future with somebody has all the ingredients for success that hoping a Lion and a young succulent lamb get together has. Either the lamb has to accept that little bits of it might get lost once in a while as a sacrifice for friendship or the Lion has to accept that a vegetarian lifestyle is not so bad afterall.

SACRIFICE. !!!! Humans don't do it too well.

No she should not cheat what happend to her respecting her wedding vows.Not to mention she has only been married 6 months shit thats no time at all what it Say's is that she is not committed to her marriage. And that married man is a piece of trash cause if he will cheat on his wife he will defiantly cheat on you .whats a marriage without a few ups and downs .my husband can fuss until the cows come home and i would not cheat. you need to end your friendship with this man before your marriage wind up disloved.

Not at all surprised!Stuff most women are made of now!Six months and already contemplating adultery?And her friend who happens to be her enabling factor ought to be ashamed!

@ naughtytroll

no i`m not.

she made up her mind to marry the man in ? ,
for better for worse till death do them part,so she should pray
for her husband to change.going out with another man is not a solution
to her marital problem,If she loves her husband verywell she should
avoid another reletionship outside her home or it will get back to her.

@ poster

what kinda job does your friend's husband do? he might be stressed at work; what does she do? does she stay home all day? she should cut him some slack and try to help him solve whatever problem he's facing now. At least i they must have know each other for at least a year and im sure she wouldn't have married him if she was being treated badly. Like everyone else has said, fidelity is the only way.

wish u the best,

make the right choice

perfect advice from all of you.

Cutting of the head is not a solution to headache. she will loose her marriage over this. The other married chap cannot guarantee her security, he will only take advantage of her stupidity. She should just retrace her footsteps and think what to do to bring her husband back to her arms.

i just hope she has not eaten the forbidden fruit because i know women with soft heart when it comes to this.
i beg her not to sell out her matrimony in jankara market.

Just a month and she has already met some guy?

_{Me is seriously thinking} Could't that have been the course

of the problem?

mellow:

Just a month and she has already met some guy?

_{Me is seriously thinking} Could't that have been the course

of the problem?

girl you so right o. i am seriously thinking thesame thing here. well we could be wrong.
I don't think she should cheat, if she can't stay anymore, then she should get a divorce

ur friend needs a reality check 4 even contemplating cheating as a solution 4 her problem.like one other person said we don't know the details of what she is going thru.she should seriously seek support if she is been abused by the husband.that should be her priority!!