lilwetdick:
i will have to say women have failed their children

if women were trainin up their children in the right way, our society will be good but i have seen many women defending and supporting their children
who defraud people.

Many women will support especially the girl child to dress the way they like in public, see if women were actually doing their work , Nigeria will be a better place but i am sorry to say many of them arent doing anything.

Exactly my point, the key to the thought process of society rests in the hands of women ,how are we raising our children? These are the same children that will because adults in the society.

Any norm or value starts with upbringing which the woman is directly involved in.

Ladycewhy:
can you please highlight those responsibilities that benefit men that the modern women need to start taking so we can all learn and work towards in your words "earning the respect of men". Also you can also do well to list the qualities you feel are of value to men that will make them give a woman their respect.

It depends on which aspect of relationship between both genders you are talking about .

If we are talking about romantic relationships, you can do the math yourself.

Ask yourself what benefits people look for in romantic relationships. Then ask yourself which one is one sided.

lilwetdick:
i will have to say Nigerian women have failed their children

if women were training up their children in the right way, our society will be good but i have seen many women defending and supporting their children who defraud people, defend their female children doing prostitution and posting their bum bum on instagram.

Many Nigerian women will support especially the girl child to dress the way they like in public, see if women were actually doing their work , Nigeria will be a better place but i am sorry to say many of them arent doing anything.

...You are right about this.My main worry is the attitude most display when you want to make a correction especially if you are guy.I was just thinking about this yesterday.Attended a traditional wedding at Nsukka,saw how a woman dressed her little female child that is not upto 4yrs,called her attention to it and she told me is non of my business.Well,I kept mouth shut but really,they are not helping matters. I wish that ladies of this generation and the next to come will atleast be teachable,learn when to admit wrongs and take corrections.

RottenBanana:


It depends on which aspect of relationship between both genders you are talking about .

If we are talking about romantic relationships, you can do the math yourself.

Ask yourself what benefits people look for in romantic relationships. Then ask yourself which one is one sided.

you didn't answer my question,OK let me be direct what qualities will a wife possess that will be of value to her husband to earn his respect?

JONNYSPUTE:
...You are right about this.My main worry is the attitude most display when you want to make a correction especially if you are guy.I was just thinking about this yesterday.Attended a traditional wedding at Nsukka,saw how a woman dressed her little female child that is not upto 4yrs,called her attention to it and she told me is non of my business.Well,I kept mouth shut but really,they are not helping matters. I wish that ladies of this generation and the next to come will atleast be teachable,learn when to admit wrongs and take corrections.

Have you ever corrected a yahoo boy before? Have you ever corrected a guy who smokes igbo or tramadol before? Have you ever corrected a cultist before?

Or you think those vices are not as destructive as a half dressed lady?

Ladycewhy:
Have you ever corrected a yahoo boy before? Have you ever corrected a guy who smokes igbo or tramadol before? Have you ever corrected a cultist before?

Or you think those vices are not as destructive as a half dressed lady?

. This is exactly what I'm saying. Most of you ladies are always erratic when such things are mentioned.It would have made sense if you had first condemn her actions but no,you jumped to defend her just because she is a woman. With this attitude,both gender is going to feel the negative impact. Like I used to say,I'm not in competition with any woman concerning gender issues. Let all join hands together and make our society worth living.I will definitely correct a 4yrs old yahoo boy or a 4yr old boy smoking Igbo with serious beating.

Ladycewhy:
you didn't answer my question,OK let me be direct what qualities will a wife possess that will be of value to her husband to earn his respect?

Women sha.

Even though you know the answers. You just want me say something socially petty that you can capitalize on.

I won't let you insult my intelligence so I will play a little game with you.
I will list one benefit a man brings to the table that women seldom brings. I will tell another one if you can tell me something the woman brings to the table that the man doesn't.

1. FINANCIAL BENEFITS

RottenBanana:


Women sha.

Even though you know the answers. You just want me say something socially petty that you can capitalize on.

I won't let you insult my intelligence so I will play a little game with you.
I will list one benefit a man brings to the table that women seldom brings. I will tell another one if you can tell me something the woman brings to the table that the man doesn't.

1. FINANCIAL BENEFITS

So what this means is women who can bring financial benefits to the table have equal respect. Any thing else?

This thread is about women waking up ,so the pointers from you can lead us in the right direction, more points will be appreciated.

JONNYSPUTE:
. This is exactly what I'm saying. Most of you ladies are always erratic when such things are mentioned.It would have made sense if you had first condemn her actions but no,you jumped to defend her just because she is a woman. With this attitude,both gender is going to feel the negative impact. Like I used to say,I'm not in competition with any woman concerning gender issues. Let all join hands together and make our society worth living.I will definitely correct a 4yrs old yahoo boy or a 4yr old boy smoking Igbo with serious beating.

you didnt answer my question o. Do you think the things i listed are not destructive to nation building than a half dressed lady? Its a simple question,nor be fight.

Ladycewhy:
you didnt answer my question o. Do you think the things i listed are not destructive to nation building than a half dressed lady? Its a simple question,nor be fight.

. I answered it unless you didn't read it all. Besides,I never said I was correcting what the lady is putting on rather what she made her little daughter to wear.

JONNYSPUTE:
. I answered it unless you didn't read it all.

lol so a 4 years old boy is the only one you can correct ,but you feel obligated to correct an adult because she is a female?

Ladycewhy:
lol so a 4 years old boy is the only one you can correct ,but you feel obligated to correct an adult because she is a female?

. Did you even read what I said? I said I was correcting what she made her daughter wear not what she herself is putting on.Please don't always be in a haste to quote somebody.Read, understand then quote.I don't give a damn with what any adult,be you a male or a female puts on. Those ones can bear the consequences of their actions.

JONNYSPUTE:
. Did you even read what I said? I said I was correcting what she made her daughter wear not what she herself is putting on.Please don't always be in a haste to quote somebody.Read, understand then quote.I don't give a damn with what any adult,be you a male or a female puts on. Those ones can bear the consequences of their actions.

oh my bad ,what she made her daughter wear, probably a top and bum shorts i am guessing, which you think will have a great effect on our nation building in future i suppose?

JONNYSPUTE:
. This is exactly what I'm saying. Most of you ladies are always erratic when such things are mentioned.It would have made sense if you had first condemn her actions but no,you jumped to defend her just because she is a woman. With this attitude,both gender is going to feel the negative impact. Like I used to say,I'm not in competition with any woman concerning gender issues. Let all join hands together and make our society worth living.I will definitely correct a 4yrs old yahoo boy or a 4yr old boy smoking Igbo with serious beating.

It's very funny that you never know the motive behind this thread.

Korllami007:


It's very funny that you never know the motive behind this thread.

.. I don tire sef. She keeps running round and round.Let her believe whatever makes her happy.

JONNYSPUTE:
.. I don tire sef. She keeps running round and round.Let her believe whatever makes her happy.

i am not running around, this is a thread for women to wake up,maybe if you tell us how dress code is paramount to future nation building ,we will all learn from your line of thought.

Ladycewhy:
i am not running around, this is a thread for women to wake up,maybe if you tell us how dress code is paramount to future nation building ,we will all learn from your line of thought.

.. Nne always try to understand the reason behind every statement made by anybody here before quoting that person.Go back and read the message from the person I quoted then come back and relate it to my comment,that way you can understand me better.Thanks.

JONNYSPUTE:
.. Nne always try to understand the reason behind every statement made by anybody here before quoting that person.Go back and read the message from the person I quoted then come back and relate it to my comment,that way you can understand me better.Thanks.

i understood you perfectly, women should have a dress code for little girls for a better future of our nation building ,did i miss something?

This bunch of fools think the world revolves around them. Every now and then women this, NLA bla bla bla.


The world has more pressing issues than this nonsense.

Ladycewhy:


More women need to be aware of this power they wield and stop putting out damaged adults into the society, I know some might say where are the fathers in this equation, like we have heard time and time again, their only duty is to bring money to the table so the duty falls on every woman out there to raise better sons and daughters to society. The woman has the power to shapen the next adult male not to be the headache of another woman,she also has the power to teach the next lady how to be self-sufficient and know her worth and never to settle for less.

It is expected that if a lady allows a man to impregnate her, then, she should also be willing to co-parent the child with him, if not, then why will you want to be impregnated by a man that you do not want to be present in the child's life? If he is good enough to be the sperm donor and provider, why isn't he good enough to be a father? From your writeup, all I could deduce is that the value of a man to you and the other women agreeing with you is that your only need for a man is his resources and his sperm. Not that I am surprised, it is what I have always known and written so much here on nairaland that women do not love men in the way men understands love. Women love children the way men love women (and the way men understand love), and you just validate those positions I have always held.

Furthermore, If your aim is to raise better men, then, it is counter-productive to that goal to reduce the role of his father to a mere provider only. Isn't it child abuse to deny a son the ability to bond with his father? Also, your goal has been implemented in the west already, and the result is disastrous. Please take your time and google the following keyword, ''the effect of growing up without a father on boys''. The statistics speak for itself. It is depressing. Please for the sake of your son, read it up, and ask yourself if it is what you plan for him.

Men and women bring a different energy to parenting, and a sound child needs to be raised with both. Where a woman will nurture and prevent their child from danger, a man will armor and give him the necessary arsenal and tactics to withstand that danger and thrive. A man will teach his son honor, to be tough in spirit and know where to be aggressive and fight, he won't be a weakling, but a strong man that other men will respect, and other women will want to be with. You cant do this all alone and if you actually plan to raise a son without his father, from the depth of my heart, I already feel sorry for him. I want to believe that you are genuinely motivated from a good standpoint, but it is not the solution and will give you the opposite of your intended result. The solution is to find a good man and raise your son/daughter with him.

pansophist:


It is expected that if a lady allows a man to impregnate her, then, she should also be willing to co-parent the child with him, if not, then why will you want to be impregnated by a man that you do not want to be present in the child's life? If he is good enough to be the sperm donor and provider, why isn't he good enough to be a father? From your writeup, all I could deduce is that the value of a man to you and the other women agreeing with you is that your only need for a man is his resources and his sperm. Not that I am surprised, it is what I have always known and written so much here on nairaland that women do not love men in the way men understands love. Women love children the way men love women (and the way men understand love), and you just validate those positions I have always held.

Furthermore, If your aim is to raise better men, then, it is counter-productive to that goal to reduce the role of his father to a mere provider only. Isn't it child abuse to deny a son the ability to bond with his father? Also, your goal has been implemented in the west already, and the result is disastrous. Please take your time and google the following keyword, ''the effect of growing up without a father on boys''. The statistics speak for itself. It is depressing. Please for the sake of your son, read it up, and ask yourself if it is what you plan for him.

Men and women bring a different energy to parenting, and a sound child needs to be raised with both. Where a woman will nurture and prevent their child from danger, a man will armor you and give you the necessary arsenal and tactics to withstand that danger and thrive. A man will teach his son honor, to be tough in spirit and know where to be aggressive and fight, he won't be a weakling, but a strong man that other men will respect, and other women will want to be with. You cant do this all alone and if you actually plan to raise a son without his father, from the depth of my heart, I already feel sorry for him. I want to believe that you are genuinely motivated from a good standpoint, but it is not the solution and will give you the opposite of your intended result. The solution is to find a good man and raise your son/daughter with him.

The way you people always call America one would think it is the only country in the world ,how about Germany? How about sweden? How about Uk? Or those other countries don't have this same situations too?You said, i should google the effect of growing up without a father on boys i am guessing the statistics is from the US.

How should we generate statistics for the disaster in our own country? The effect of present but invisible fathers? Cos you cant tell me all the fraudsters ,rapist ,armed robber etc have no fathers.

The truth is the average Nigerian man thinks his only duty to his house hold is to drop money for food and up keep, if a child turns out well ,they claim glory, if the child doesn't they quickly push the blame to the mother.

So why wait for people who are conditioned this way? Even on this thread ,someone was already blaming women for the waywardness among youths not once did it cross their minds to ask what roles the fathers played in this. Sadly this is the reality out there "pikin wey good na e papa own, pickin wey bad ,me e mama own". So women might as well take the bull by the horn .

pansophist:


It is expected that if a lady allows a man to impregnate her, then, she should also be willing to co-parent the child with him, if not, then why will you want to be impregnated by a man that you do not want to be present in the child's life? If he is good enough to be the sperm donor and provider, why isn't he good enough to be a father? From your writeup, all I could deduce is that the value of a man to you and the other women agreeing with you is that your only need for a man is his resources and his sperm . Not that I am surprised, it is what I have always known and written so much here on nairaland that women do not love men in the way men understands love. Women love children the way men love women (and the way men understand love), and you just validate those positions I have always held.

Furthermore, If your aim is to raise better men, then, it is counter-productive to that goal to reduce the role of his father to a mere provider only. Isn't it child abuse to deny a son the ability to bond with his father? Also, your goal has been implemented in the west already, and the result is disastrous. Please take your time and google the following keyword, ''the effect of growing up without a father on boys''. The statistics speak for itself. It is depressing. Please for the sake of your son, read it up, and ask yourself if it is what you plan for him.

Men and women bring a different energy to parenting, and a sound child needs to be raised with both. Where a woman will nurture and prevent their child from danger, a man will armor and give him the necessary arsenal and tactics to withstand that danger and thrive. A man will teach his son honor, to be tough in spirit and know where to be aggressive and fight, he won't be a weakling, but a strong man that other men will respect, and other women will want to be with. You cant do this all alone and if you actually plan to raise a son without his father, from the depth of my heart, I already feel sorry for him. I want to believe that you are genuinely motivated from a good standpoint, but it is not the solution and will give you the opposite of your intended result. The solution is to find a good man and raise your son/daughter with him.

The average Nigerian man actually thinks the bolded is the only thing he was created for. Many dont even believe in companionship with their partners so long as kids are not hungry ,school fees have been paid, they are good .

The average Nigerian man believes it is solely the woman's duty to be a caretaker of the household which also includes seeing to the proper upbringing of the kids.This has been the reality of the Nigerian society for a long time, many fathers are present but inactive in the upbringing of their kids so long as they have paid bills, providing for their household is actually the only duty they have deligated to themselves ,it is not women who are trying to reduce their roles to mere provider but the men themselves who have relegated themselves to being just mere providers.


Maybe you should be focusing on talking to your fellow men to change their mentality of oh i pay for this ,i pay for that,it should be enough to see to the over all well being of the kids.

Duggedised12:
The average Nigerian man actually thinks the bolded is the only thing he was created for. Many dont even believe in companionship with their partners so long as kids are not hungry ,school fees have been paid, they are good .

The average Nigerian man believes it is solely the woman's duty to be a caretaker of the household which also includes seeing to the proper upbringing of the kids.This has been the reality of the Nigerian society for a long time, many fathers are present but inactive in the upbringing of their kids so long as they have paid bills, providing for their household is actually the only duty they have deligated to themselves ,it is not women who are trying to reduce their roles to mere provider but the men themselves who have relegated themselves to being just mere providers.


Maybe you should be focusing on talking to your fellow men to change their mentality of oh i pay for this ,i pay for that,it should be enough to see to the over all well being of the kids.

Your hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance are monumental, jeez, and sadly, you are over 32 (judging from your topic about a husband searching) and haven't understood how the worlds work at such matured age, not surprised, judging from your post so far.

Women and I repeat women, expect their men to be rich, it is an established, historical, scientifically proven, generally accepted fact. Women look for resources in men, and whether you prefer to fool yourself or not, it is the very thing you want from any man that you will be with. If not, then why do you and the other female posters need a man for sperm and resources? How is it that you operate on two different mentalities and not see your hypocrisy? how can you blame men for placing their value on the ability to provide (assuming it is true) even though it is the qualifying criteria that will make women enter a relationship with them? why are women not dating all the broke guys in Nigeria that are in need of companionship?

Truly, there are men that choose to consciously not be available in the life of their child, but using the world ''average'' is not only wrong, but it is also a lie and nonsense you have to convince yourself with to have some form of validity. The vast majority of Nigerian men (as well as women) are traditional and want to always be present in their kid's life. Where do you get such a ridiculous fact? can you point it to me? Besides, my former questions still stand, though you and ladycewhy just conveniently ignored answering the question, and rant about things that will at best, be classified as red-herring.

So for the umpteenth time, and in an attempt to give a benefit of the doubt that my previous questions were not paid attention to, isn't it child abuse to deny a child the ability to bond with his/her father? secondly, why is it that a man that is good for a sperm donor and financial support not also good to be present in his child's life?

You can have any standards you want, all power to you, go girl, but it is left for any man to choose to be relegated to that role and trap you guys have set for him. And if such fool of a man even exists, you would probably be married already at 32 and not creating threads about a husband searching. So you seriously believed that a reasonable man that will want you for a relationship will still foolishly go ahead and pm you after all the man-hating rubbish you have written, especially about needing his money and sperm? In the end, you may want to look at the mirror, as it holds the answer to what might be holding you back.

Ladycewhy:
The way you people always call America one would think it is the only country in the world ,how about Germany? How about sweden? How about Uk? Or those other countries don't have this same situations too?You said, i should google the effect of growing up without a father on boys i am guessing the statistics is from the US.

How should we generate statistics for the disaster in our own country? The effect of present but invisible fathers? Cos you cant tell me all the fraudsters ,rapist ,armed robber etc have no fathers.

The truth is the average Nigerian man thinks his only duty to his house hold is to drop money for food and up keep, if a child turns out well ,they claim glory, if the child doesn't they quickly push the blame to the mother.

So why wait for people who are conditioned this way? Even on this thread ,someone was already blaming women for the waywardness among youths not once did it cross their minds to ask what roles the fathers played in this. Sadly this is the reality out there "pikin wey good na e papa own, pickin wey bad ,me e mama own". So women might as well take the bull by the horn .

Taking the bull by the horn, with his money, resources, sacrifices, and sperm? does it sound stupid to you? also, throwing out nonsensical such as using words like ''the average Nigerian man, blaming women for the waywardness of the kids doesn't make it true, even if you've convinced yourself to believe such. A repeated lie doesn't make it a truth.

Good luck, I hope you find that idiot of a man that will fulfill that role while been denied access and influence to his kids, doubt he exist anyway.

CHoccolaTE:


Future has always been female, men just contribute mayhem and subjugation of females

But leave men alone no. If we contribute subjugation and mayhem to you females, then stop accepting our proposals, stop being with us.

Someone pointed here that without women that nature will not continue. Yeah. Remove all the men in this equation called life, who fertilizes the egg you all carry. It goes both ways. Y'all are just misguided leeches. I'm not against y'all raising kids with morals, by all means do it, it's for the beneficial of mankind and not womankind.

Work on yourselves lots. You can't work or change anything without first accepting that thing for what it is. You can't work on or change men without first accepting men for whom they are.

pansophist:


Your hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance are monumental, jeez, and sadly, you are over 32 (judging from your topic about a husband searching) and haven't understood how the worlds work at such matured age, not surprised, judging from your post so far.

Women and I repeat women, expect their men to be rich, it is an established, historical, scientifically proven, generally accepted fact. Women look for resources in men, and whether you prefer to fool yourself or not, it is the very thing you want from any man that you will be with. If not, then why do you and the other female posters need a man for sperm and resources? How is it that you operate on two different mentalities and not see your hypocrisy? how can you blame men for placing their value on the ability to provide (assuming it is true) even though it is the qualifying criteria that will make women enter a relationship with them? why are women not dating all the broke guys in Nigeria that are in need of companionship?

Truly, there are men that choose to consciously not be available in the life of their child, but using the world ''average'' is not only wrong, but it is also a lie and nonsense you have to convince yourself with to have some form of validity. The vast majority of Nigerian men (as well as women) are traditional and want to always be present in their kid's life. Where do you get such a ridiculous fact? can you point it to me? Besides, my former questions still stand, though you and ladycewhy just conveniently ignored answering the question, and rant about things that will at best, be classified as red-herring.

So for the umpteenth time, and in an attempt to give a benefit of the doubt that my previous questions were not paid attention to, isn't it child abuse to deny a child the ability to bond with his/her father? secondly, why is it that a man that is good for a sperm donor and financial support not also good to be present in his child's life?

You can have any standards you want, all power to you, go girl, but it is left for any man to choose to be relegated to that role and trap you guys have set for him. And if such fool of a man even exists, you would probably be married already at 32 and not creating threads about a husband searching. So you seriously believed that a reasonable man that will want you for a relationship will still foolishly go ahead and pm you after all the man-hating rubbish you have written, especially about needing his money and sperm? In the end, you may want to look at the mirror, as it holds the answer to what might be holding you back.

@Duggedised12, ladycewhy and their cohorts are simply deluded and hypocritical. Women are mostly confused beings who don’t even know what they want in life. That’s why a man must not live his life to satisfy a woman’s inordinate desires, else, he will end up loosing himself in such pursuits.

Ladycewhy:
oh my bad ,what she made her daughter wear, probably a top and bum shorts i am guessing, which you think will have a great effect on our nation building in future i suppose?

I thought you are here to get points to make women have better kids, now why fight someone with a valid point?

Since God no fit satisfy una I don't think anyone can.

pansophist:


Your hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance are monumental, jeez, and sadly, you are over 32 (judging from your topic about a husband searching) and haven't understood how the worlds work at such matured age, not surprised, judging from your post so far.

Women and I repeat women, expect their men to be rich, it is an established, historical, scientifically proven, generally accepted fact. Women look for resources in men, and whether you prefer to fool yourself or not, it is the very thing you want from any man that you will be with. If not, then why do you and the other female posters need a man for sperm and resources? How is it that you operate on two different mentalities and not see your hypocrisy? how can you blame men for placing their value on the ability to provide (assuming it is true) even though it is the qualifying criteria that will make women enter a relationship with them? why are women not dating all the broke guys in Nigeria that are in need of companionship?

Truly, there are men that choose to consciously not be available in the life of their child, but using the world ''average'' is not only wrong, but it is also a lie and nonsense you have to convince yourself with to have some form of validity. The vast majority of Nigerian men (as well as women) are traditional and want to always be present in their kid's life. Where do you get such a ridiculous fact? can you point it to me? Besides, my former questions still stand, though you and ladycewhy just conveniently ignored answering the question, and rant about things that will at best, be classified as red-herring.

So for the umpteenth time, and in an attempt to give a benefit of the doubt that my previous questions were not paid attention to, isn't it child abuse to deny a child the ability to bond with his/her father? secondly, why is it that a man that is good for a sperm donor and financial support not also good to be present in his child's life?

You can have any standards you want, all power to you, go girl, but it is left for any man to choose to be relegated to that role and trap you guys have set for him. And if such fool of a man even exists, you would probably be married already at 32 and not creating threads about a husband searching. So you seriously believed that a reasonable man that will want you for a relationship will still foolishly go ahead and pm you after all the man-hating rubbish you have written, especially about needing his money and sperm? In the end, you may want to look at the mirror, as it holds the answer to what might be holding you back.

lol, over 32, resident niaraland age detector .well done o

Who is actually preventing men from bonding with their kids or where was it even written that men should be prevented from bonding with their kids, can you point it out so i can know where are this your long jargons coming from.


You are just blabbing as if its women that related men to being just providers and denied them the access to bond with their kids, na wah o. Seems you lack understanding ,my guy nor be by long senseless posts o ,you better understand before going on long senseless irrational rants with no head nor tail.

Duggedised12:
lol, over 32, resident niaraland age detector .

Who is actually preventing men from bonding with their kids or where was it even written that men should be prevented from bonding with their kids, can you point it out so i can know where are this your long jargons coming from.

You are just blabbing as if its women that related men to being just providers and denied them the access to bond with their kids, na wah o. Seems you lack understanding ,my guy nor be by long senseless posts o ,you better understand before going on long senseless irrational rants with no head nor tail.

Answer the damn question. No be by going in circles, writing nonsense baseless facts that are short and literally represents how much of an IQ you have.

maak400:

@Duggedised12, ladycewhy and their cohorts are simply deluded and hypocritical. Women are mostly confused beings who don’t even know what they want in life. That’s why a man must not live his life to satisfy a woman’s inordinate desires, else, he will end up loosing himself in such pursuits.

lol, if you classify raising better kids with the presence or absence of a man as inordinate desire then women should stick with it. If telling women to take the bull by the horn because if a child turns out bad ,its the fault of the woman is hypocritical ,then its ok ,i hear you.

Omar09:


Answer the damn question. No be by going in circles, writing nonsense baseless facts that are short and literally represents how much of an IQ you have.

Assumptions is for fools for him to even assume my age because of my thread ,it just shows how foolish he is .And if you see it as baseless,its actually your IQ talking . i cant help you with that.