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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? (7426 Views)
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Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by Acidosis(m): 9:24am On Nov 25, 2019 |
blank: But the same women and mothers repel the husband's people from coming over because of some stup!d beliefs passed down to them from generations. So how can they help with the kids when many of you folks naturally don't want to relate with your husband's people? And btw, why should anyone take on the responsibility of training your kids? Why should that influence your relationship with your family? So my brother or sister should abandon their families and come look after mine? And when they fail to do that (sometimes owing to distance issues), they should be disliked? Really?? 2 Likes |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by tpiar: 9:25am On Nov 25, 2019 |
Stop getting married so we can have less of these threads. 1 Like |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by AfroKnight: 9:51am On Nov 25, 2019 |
CareerBegger: Lol. But are you smoking, really? Even tobacco companies warn against smoking. Enjoy. |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by AfroKnight: 9:59am On Nov 25, 2019 |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by AfroKnight: 10:08am On Nov 25, 2019 |
Preshy561: But it is! The man’s family often stays away because of the man’s body language which is an extension of Mrs Wife’s disposition towards his own relatives. However, I’ll blame the man for letting his kids think his family is bad. Why? Cos He can change that narrative if he wants. He’ll just have to set his wife straight. |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by tpiar: 10:11am On Nov 25, 2019 |
This is why people are doubting there were no Africans who were not happy to leave Africa. Circular arguments and situations all the time. |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by LadySarah: 10:41am On Nov 25, 2019 |
We r good on both sides,very good.We relate wella Infact my bro wanted to surprise my dad's bro(paternal uncle) with a Duplex this xmas.unfortunately,he died last wk wednesday morning He including his wife took care of us like his own when our father died 15 yrs back;supported and encouraged my mum,came for my visiting days,monetary support,crszy rides and outings in the evenings,spiritual and moral backup.This December would have been mad fun.He loves to enjoy life to the fullest Its been a sad week for us!Rip Dee 4 Likes |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by megareal: 10:57am On Nov 25, 2019 |
Father's side more often don't care and are never there. Mother's side, always there, helping, supporting, giving, instructing and loving. Nothing beats a mother's side of the family. 1 Like |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by genq(m): 12:21pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
AfroKnight: |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by Coolabbie: 12:23pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
cococandy:Very true 2 Likes |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by cococandy(f): 12:45pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
Jarrow:absolutely. That’s why boundaries are very necessary. Of course without compromising on the love. They are family after all |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by cococandy(f): 12:48pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
Thank you babyfaceafrica: |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by missjo(f): 2:37pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
crackhaus:Lol, I am tired of your people |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by nahzyla: 3:30pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
Breaststroke: Thanks, you summarized it perfectly In my sister's house her brother in law lives in their house, he does absolutely nothing. Even to wash the bathroom in his room he does not do it. All he does is eat and watch TV and gist and go out and then lock himself in the room with his girlfriend when she comes visiting. Even while my sister was pregnant the guy did not assist with housework in anyway. In contrast those of us from my sisters side specifically her siblings, we can never ever visit her even for one week or one afternoon and then leave her to carry all the housework on her head. Even if it's to wash plates or sweep by house we must do something to relieve her burden and we always buy gifts when coming. My sisters inlaws just pop in and relax expecting her to do every every, even the women among them unfortunately. 6 Likes |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by Nobody: 3:55pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
It goes both ways. Besides, we represent the two so if u are good as a maternal relative and bad as a paternal, u are just hypocritical and very biased. |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by blank(f): 4:00pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
Acidosis: I have said none of those things. I am speaking of a natural affinity for people who look after you. It's natural to be drawn to people who take care of you. You don't have to hate one side to love the other side. As per training of kids, no one needs to do that even from the maternal side. I am referring to those cousins/nieces etc that stay with you while you enroll them in school. A symbiotic relationship. It's easier when the person is from the maternal side because those don't mind helping usually while those from the paternal side usually want to be waited on. This is the reality of the Nigerian situation. Until men start taking a proactive role in taking care of their kids, it will keep happening. 6 Likes |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by bukatyne(f): 4:04pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
Jarrow: And trust me, they adjust accordingly. |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by bukatyne(f): 4:10pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
blank: I think often times, we know these things, we just want to be funny. A lady who would rush to help her married sister would expect to be catered for hands and foot in her married brother's house. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by bukatyne(f): 4:13pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
LadySarah: So sorry. May God console you and all he left behind. 1 Like |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by bukatyne(f): 4:25pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
crackhaus: I am proud to say I have been sweet to my inlaws/relatives connected to me by marriage to a male relative. Easy to do when you ditch culture and embrace religion + common sense. I remember an uncle's wife who was shocked when I packed her plates in my cousin's house. Cousin's wife put to bed and we (I & Uncle's wife) came to care for the new wife. I was done with my stay and leaving when uncle's wifey came. She knelt totally to greet my cousin (culture which I think is bullshit) and wanted to wait on us calling us sir and ma. We were done eating (I cooked) and packed her plates. She was reluctant and said it is her duty to pack it bla bla (culturally true). I looked at her and told her that I accorded her same respect I did her husband and I would never let him take his own plates to the sink. They are one. Any one especially lady who hides under culture and tradition to maltreated her male relatives' wives should remember same culture is alive during her own time. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by bukatyne(f): 4:28pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
babyfaceafrica: I still insist that there is no smoke without fire and there must be communication breakdown for someone to become a middlewoman passing the wrong info. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by Nobody: 4:54pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
Breaststroke: I feel you on these two points and all you wrote, but particularly this two. As this has been my own predicament. I had to readjust when my siblings became too demanding, behaving like I am their new saviour, the fall out was unbelievable. No matter how often I assisted financially it never seemed enough, I got one a job in 3 months he was fired from it for misconduct, one collected money for a professional exam and never sat for it, it was plenty money too. I put off certain things for wife/kids to make some things happen for one sibling in particular, the kind of ingratitude I saw broke my spirit. I have been burnt now I am wiser. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by bukatyne(f): 4:58pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
Acidosis: Nobody has said the maternal family is perfect or needing something from them. It is a function of how both families they relate with the wife and subsequently the kids. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by crackhaus: 5:35pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
bukatyne:Cool story, but it must have escaped you that you're NOT the only one that makes up the paternal side of the family. While you are proud in your good behaviour, the ones with bad behaviour are spoiling your good image behind your back and someone somewhere is still talking shít about the paternal (husband's or father's) side of the family to which you belong. Have you ever seen where one or two good fruits in a basket filled with rotten fruits turns the entire basket into a basket of good fruits? 3 Likes |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by crackhaus: 5:39pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
missjo:Those freaks are not my people, you know my people ladybug. |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by midnighter(f): 5:52pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
Grasscutter: And thank you for being sensitive enough to have learned your lesson. Some men will keep neglecting their wives and children in the name of trying to elevate their own family until they die, no matter how much pepper they show them. At the end they have nothing to show for all their misplaced kindness but insults from their siblings and resentment from their wives/kids who have been watching the whole thing. 5 Likes |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by frozen70(f): 9:16pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
Omoluabi16: Just because of silent competition among fathers extended family No one wants each other to rise above others That's what we call pull him down syndrome (PhD) |
Re: Why Is The Paternal Family So Disliked? by sweetmelanin(f): 9:20pm On Nov 25, 2019 |
Grasscutter: Lol. So Breaststroke you had to create a brand new account to console yourself... Na so e pain you reach? Lmao! 4 Likes |
Polygamy + Polyandry = Monogamy ? / Thank you /
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