Guyman02:
Let me share a personal experience, when I was dating my wife, I didnt take time to observe that I was basically doing everything in the relationship and it was a one sided affair.
I was buying things for her because money was flowing and she was earning little from her work place. I deluded myself that she was stingy because she earned little and since I was making a lot of money outside my salary there was no issue, I was simply in love.
Then we got married and she got a better high paying job.
After sometime my company redeployed me to another unit where I was forced to depend solely on my salary, no more access to vendors and suppliers who tipped me regularly to facilitate procurement under my control.
We had our baby and the salary alone could no longer carry all our bills, the rent which I could afford to pay without touching my salary back in the day was now a burden.
I kept asking my wife for assistance and it was not forthcoming, it was then I started thinking backwards and realised that I didnt take note of her stinginess.
The pressure continued growing and frustration started setting in, I was calculating what her salary can do for us but she was not ready to assist, frustration due to mounting financial pressure started getting hold of me and in the process katakata burst.
She will even tell me that the bible says that any man who cannot feed his family is worse than an infidel.

We had fights and nothing has changed in her attitude, she spends her money however she likes including buying cars of her choice, trinkets, sending to her family etc while my own money in her eyes is for the Federal Republic. Whenever I send money to my own relations or people in need she gets angry and will remind me about outstanding school fees, gas, light etc so I have to resort to doing things for my own people without informing her.

I had to accept the situation and live grudgingly with it since I cannot divorce her but decided to hustle harder for the sake of the family including her.
At this point its no longer about love in marriage but survival, that her beauty and other 'traits' wey being dey shack me then is no longer the key element in the relationship after some years because there are several bills to settle.
Financial consideration is a very key point for any relationship to be successful and stinginess (which is tantamount to selfishness) causes crisis in marriages.
Guy I will not advise you but I am sharing my personal experience of several years in marriage to help you decide.

men, your experienced really touch me o..
Op this piece may sound related to your future but it's under probability.
So use ur tongue to count your teeth now.

Here is my story op, I got married to my wife in 2017 but before then I was praying to God to give me a woman that will understand marriage and responsibility .
I never studied my wife for 2months talk more of 2years. I was enjoying my bachelorhood. So no time, but when I needed a wife, I prayed to God and he answer me.
Two months into the marriage, I lost my job , my wife was earning lower than 25k and he catered for our needs until after two months the burden was much, she was praying and persuading me to picked any job of 40k or 20k and I did for a while , a months into the job, I was earning peanut until God helped me to earns times three of what my wife is earning currently. If my wife was the stingy type.. Men I for hear am o ..

But sometimes, op if you really need a wife, prayed to God..if you like study her for 5/6years ..what will happened will definitely happen but applied wisdom in all situations.
Though me and my wife had a lot of issues but I use my wisdom to influenced unwanted character.

But it's well..

Do not tolerate this. I don't think it's something you'll be able to live with your whole life.
Already, you don't like it. You'll grow to resent her in future.

majormofor:


You man, your dating yourself o... If a girl truly loves you she would buy something without telling you.
Best advice---"buy something for urself and let her know it's New and tell her, it's one of your female friends that bought it and you love it soooooo much..
Let see how we go from there. Her reaction should speak more

The best advise. Op, listen to this.

realoscar84:
Why do you think Kogi State Governor Yahaya Bello choose the 2nd wife over the 1st as his first lady, even though the 1st is more qualified and better educated as a legal practitioner? As new man into poliyics then, during the campaign prior to the primary election that made him a runner up, local man experienced cash crunch, pleaded the 1st wife to loan him some mills, but she declined thinking it's wasn't worth it as per no faith or hope in the project but the 2nd backed him to a hilt with everything she has. I guess local man didn't forget the kind gesture. Stingy woman is like a cancer, rich or poor family. Avoid them at all cost.

Ha! is this true??

lereinter:



I would not have replied you, but you mentioned my mother

I have cursed you severally

May your kids don't grow

Imagine! You are not in authority to curse me. Why would you attempt to curse someone who God Almighty Himself has blessed? It is uncalled for bro. I neither cursed you nor your mother so why would you risk your miserable life attempting to curse me? I just expressed my opinion about your view. So since you wished to be cursed, may all the curses you placed be for you and your entire family members. As for me and my family members, we are covered with the blood of Jesus, immuned from your curses. A word of advice, change your ways before you ruin your life completely.

user283:
I've done that before but it doesn't change anything bro

Eleyii serious gaaan o.
Me wey be say hubby get, when I was serving and was earning little, I still found a way to contribute to the house cause i want my impact felt in the house no matter how little. Most of the things in the house now I can boldly say we bought them together.

Seriously bro, ur dating yasef

His bday is 16th Feb, but I already got his gift down cos I don't know if I'll be financially bouyant enough to get him what I really want at that time. If she really loves you she'll try at least once in a while to get u something, support u, u know

My brother it's so sad to hear your plight but the truth has to be told. Leave this girl alone hmm okay wait imagine when you start having kids with her ...like you are a lil broke and sch fees need to be paid.
Imagine you need some money to add up and sort landlord
My brother pls once again leave this girl alone.
Haa you will not hear okay I beg you again please leave her alone.
Your peace is paramount to me.

Your friend
The concubine

Yeah, a friend of mine who happens to be one of their staff when GYB was running his transport company Fairplus told me..

midnighter:


Ha! is this true??

realoscar84:
Yeah, a friend of mine who happens to be one of their staff when GYB was running his transport company Fairplus told me..

Wow. That first wife must be feeling somehow. She has been with him since smh

These days she had been trying to outshine the first lady in any photo outing with the governor that involves all the 3 wives but the first Lady will just locked up n allow her to take vantage position in photo shot after all she know where the real power lies. Obviously she must be very bitter but the deed is done. That's why it's good to have a wife with foresight. Whatever a wife does for husband can never be a waste. Even if he is ungrateful, ur children will benefit it in future. But most of them hardly look beyond their nose.

midnighter:


Wow. That first wife must be feeling somehow. She has been with him since smh

realoscar84:
These days she had been trying to outshine the first lady in any photo outing with the governor that involves all the 3 wives but the first Lady will just locked up n allow her to take vantage position in photo shot after all she know where the real power lies. Obviously she must be very bitter but the deed is done. That's why it's good to have a wife with foresight. Whatever a wife does for husband can never be a waste. Even if he is ungrateful, ur children will benefit it in future. But most of them hardly look beyond their nose.

Chai..lesson learned

Since you met her has she given you gift or money before? Is she stingy to herself ? Are they stingy in their family ? How was her upbringing? Stinginess is not enough reason to back out ... There is no perfect being talkless of a woman ! Can you say you have no weakness ? A woman is faithful , hard-working and God fearing is enough to be a good wife ! Is she faithful ? Keep talking to her if u love her

user283:
There's this lady I've been dating for two years now. We happen to be members of the same church and I ought to have taken the relationship to the next level by getting my parents to her place for our introduction last month but I had a rethink and postponed our introduction due to an issue that might cause problem in the future

I noticed my girlfriend is the stingy type. When I mean stingy, it's on the high side. Assuming she's just averagely stingy I wouldn't really be bothered but this is gross.

I work as a bank teller (contract staff) and my salary isn't really much while she works in Shoprite. Even from the little I earn, I'm always sensitive to her needs and I tip her whether she's stranded or not since I love her but how can I explain being with a lady for two solid years and I've never for once received any gift no matter how little it is? Not even something as little as toothbrush or hair cream

Initially, I didn't see this as a big deal probably because I grew up with the mentality that it's a taboo for a man to expect gifts or little support from his girlfriend when he's in dire need
but I've now grown to realize that "give and take" is one of the key elements of a good relationship

Even if I get stranded or go into debt, my girlfriend acts nonchalant and she'll be the
last person that will ever render a little financial assistance to help my situation. You might say I should sit her down and discuss about it. Yes I've already done that and I made her understand that I actually postponed our introduction for no other reason but because I'm still indecisive if I want to spend the rest of my life with a selfish woman but her response shows she takes pride in being stingy

I even used logic to whine her younger brother recently just to be sure if she's stingy to me alone but the boy confirmed it that her sister is very stingy. I decided to carry out my findings on her brother because I believe he should know her better.

You might want to talk about sex but my belief is that sex is just a mutual pleasure and does not define what a woman gives to you in a relationship especially a relationship that will lead to the altar

What's getting me worried is that we've come a long way but I don't want to end up with a selfish woman because it's written all over her that she cares so much only about her own well being

Please advice your fellow brother. Do I have a reason to be worried? I've been jumping a lagoon for a woman who can't jump a gutter for me especially when it comes to giving. Should I tolerate this level of stinginess from a woman simply because I'm a man?

P.S: I'm still with her because she has other good traits

Please pardon my typos. I wrote this in a hurry

With so much said I will just add a little for you.
I assume you know no body is perfect in this world and imperfections come from different angle my brother. People always say hennn.. I no nobody is perfect but when they see some imperfection they run.
I have something similar to yours but my woman is not extremely stingy like yours but she just doesn't have a mind set that she has to contribute to the family and I'm trying everyday to let her see her role in what we are trying to build. I learn to live with her character because some virtues I see in her im not ready to exchange it for generosity in another woman.
At the end you make priority of what you can live with and what you can't live with..
If I may ask you, a stingy woman and a dirty woman can you choose? Some people are very unlucky to have both in a wife, so choose wisely.

Im really impressed by it.
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