cococandy:

That’s why sometimes you don’t just read pass.
You call that BS out and move on.

People who don’t know Nigerian women would be pleasantly surprised when they actually meet one after only reading about them here on NL where we are only good for nothing .

Yes which is exactly wat i do to you, yet you and your coven members keep accusing me of holding grudge. You are so inconsistent, dats ur major problem. To even keep track of yourself is plenty work because der are too many faces to you.

cococandy:
Yet we bring nothing to the table

Everybody knows dat u in particular does not. Which day did u start working as nurse assistant here? Omo ale jati jati

MrBrownJay1:
i blame African society and mentality for that... how can a man have a decent r/ship with his kids when he has to slave away 24/7 while wifey is at home watching Telemundo and having a fantastic r/ship with the kids?!?!?!

as soon as kids are old enough (3yrs old), you BOTH need to work so that daddy can work less and spend MORE time with kids.

Well said dear this is how is done in Western World.

MrBrownJay1:
i blame African society and mentality for that... how can a man have a decent r/ship with his kids when he has to slave away 24/7 while wifey is at home watching Telemundo and having a fantastic r/ship with the kids?!?!?!

as soon as kids are old enough (3yrs old), you BOTH need to work so that daddy can work less and spend MORE time with kids.

My dear Population of Black Women all over the World work much harder than Men ! Even being a Housewife na another Job.

fieryy:
What are we saying and what is this one saying?

Your mum moved out of Africa where it was 'normal' for both men and women to work?!

My EIGHTY TWO year old grandma has been working on her farm for most of her life! Just like many of our grandmothers and great grandmothers, so what exactly are you talking about?!
Market women/traders are as old as the oldest cultures in Africa. It's quite pathetic for you to suggest, the only reason your mum worked was because she moved out of Africa. Soooo pathetic!

yes, in my world, it is viewed as dysfunctional to have an able bodied adult stay home and do nothing while daddy slaves away and kids are at school all day. a world where getting a job is seen as completely normal for a wife and where mothers only get 1 year off as maternity leave and need to get back to making money anyway.......but hey, in order for me not to repeat myself, i will post the below again:

MrBrownJay1:
but that same society expects that women to sit at home while daddy slaves away, doesnt it? now lets go back to the MAIN issue here:

-what would make a mum have such a fantastic bond with their kids while daddy is viewed as "that guy"?
- how can we solve the issue at hand (if not by sharing duties so that daddy can spend more time at home)?

BTW: i do know that majority of Nigerian/African men would frown upon the above in bold because of that same failed "society" who believe that it aint his job to do so.

TheArchangel:
MrBrown skin man, you have successfully derailed this wonderful thread by bringing in an unrelated comparison that stems from a begrudged mindset.

begrudged mindset... really?! lol ok then.

It is nobody's fault when a father refuses to establish good relationships with others. How come that most fathers still maintains relationships with their extended families and associates but treats their kids like trash.

if society and/or women dont see anything wrong with such, then dont you believe that there is something REALLY wrong with that same society/women or anyone who think its ok for children to have no emotional bond with their parents?!

CHoccolaTE:
@liberalchic, fiery, fountainofyouth, cococandy,
Mr brown Jay doesn't live in Nigeria, he's basing his posts on the misogynistic posts nairaland small boys write about women bringing nothing to the table. Make una no mind am

bwaaaah! so because i dont live in Nigeria thats your reasoning for dismissing what i wrote?!?!?!?!?!
stop assuming rubbish... it makes an ASS out of U and ME.

cococandy:
That’s why sometimes you don’t just read pass.
You call that BS out and move on.
People who don’t know Nigerian women would be pleasantly surprised when they actually meet one after only reading about them here on NL where we are only good for nothing .

if you believe that A) i dont know Nigerian women or B) what i wrote was that Nigerian women are good for nothing (aka insulting most of the women in my entire family), then you might never get my point. everywhere i go around the world (Nigeria included), i meet/deal with Nigerian women....are you also claiming that because i only go to Nigeria for shorter periods (ever since my earliest childhood memories), i know nothing about Nigerian women? where are all the Nigerian women that i meet from?! another planet?!

but let us not derail this thread.... YES i believe Nigerian families are dysfunctional, and no matter how much people are gonna say that it may be right to many, i dont see it that way... and thats my opinion on the subject.

what i wrote was that Nigerian women are good for nothing (aka insulting most of the women in my entire family),

Cc Mrbrownjay1. This part was not about you. Lol.
It was more speaking in general about how NL males post about women.

cococandy:
Cc Mrbrownjay1. This part was not about you. Lol.
It was more speaking in general about how NL males post about women.

ok i see.... but its funny how suddenly because i dont live in Nigeria, i cant say anything WRONG about what i believe about Nigerian families and/or society. i love Nigeria (i wouldnt waste time on NL if i didnt) and i love my Nigerian/African women, but i have to be honest about what i believe is wrong.... and although we may not all have the same view on the issue but thats what i see.

here is a clue: i have never seen a Nigerian father (apart from mine at least) SAY to their kids that they love them or even ACT in a loving manner (aka show affection etc), and i think i can count on ONE hand the amount of Nigerian mothers i witness doing it to children over the age of 10.... and this is my beef with Nigerian society. many will quickly tell you that this is not the way they have been raised, yet we all know that children need to FEEL loved by their parents, other than paying for food, school and occasional gifts. this is another subject completely but again about that same society mindset, where everyone is ready and willing to do what is asked of them and not what should make sense to them.

MrBrownJay1:


ok i see.... but its funny how suddenly because i dont live in Nigeria, i cant say anything WRONG about what i believe about Nigerian families and/or society. i love Nigeria (i wouldnt waste time on NL if i didnt) and i love my Nigerian/African women, but i have to be honest about what i believe is wrong.... and although we may not all have the same view on the issue but thats what i see.

Not that you can’t speak to the Nigerian society. Of
Course you can if you ask me, but times do change and if you’ve been away for a while, then NL may be the wrong place to get information from as 100% true.

here is a clue: i have never seen a Nigerian father (apart from mine at least) SAY to their kids that they love them or even ACT in a loving manner (aka show affection etc), and i think i can count on ONE hand the amount of Nigerian mothers i witness doing it to children over the age of 10.... and this is my beef with Nigerian society

We are not a very expressive society (specifically when it comes to love). They may act in a loving manner. you know they express love differently but saying to their children is hard for them and I’m still trying to understand why.

many will quickly tell you that this is not the way they have been raised, yet we all know that children need to FEEL loved by their parents, other than paying for food, school and occasional gifts. this is another subject completely but again about that same society mindset, where everyone is ready and willing to do what is asked of them and not what should make sense to them.

I certainly do agree. This part is my tune.
Don’t have to do things because it’s always been done that way.

mamajj17:


[s]My dear Population of Black Women all over the World work much harder than Men ! Even being a Housewife na another Job[/s].

Do you even know the meaning of job?

Allen102:
Do you even know the meaning of job?

How can you define a job then? Cos, If some women staying home taking up the job of a nanny, a cleaner, school run driver, a cook, a wet nurse, a dishwasher and a laundromat attendant without getting paid: if those cannot be described as a job, then tell me what a job is?
Do you know how much this job descriptions cost if you outsource them to outsiders?

I don't know why this frequent attacks on our hardworking women.
Most of this women that are erroneously tagged housewives has businesses they run on the sideline while juggling with the homefront.

Many people on this forum who lived without fathers for a greater part of their lives, either due to death or other circumstances have mothers who took over the mantle with effortless ease. These mothers neglects their own youthful exuberance and denies themselves sexual exploration just to ensure that they trained their children. They became fathers and mothers to their kids, providing and running the homefronts to make ends meet.

It is quite rare to see a man who does same. Then tell me why the kids won't love their mother to the point of death.
Most widowers and divorcees are already frolicking and sourcing for replacement at the graveside of their supposed spouses.
As they cannot manage joggling the homefront and providing for their families as women do, they prefer shipping out their motherless kids to unknown women in the name of having time to provide for their children.

If your circle of women are lazy telemundo and zeeworld watchers with live-in maids, that says a lot about who you are. Cos in my own neck of the woods, I only sees born hustlers.

MrBrownJay1:


yes, in my world, it is viewed as dysfunctional to have an able bodied adult stay home and do nothing while daddy slaves away and kids are at school all day. a world where getting a job is seen as completely normal for a wife and where mothers only get 1 year off as maternity leave and need to get back to making money anyway.......but hey, in order for me not to repeat myself, i will post the below again:





begrudged mindset... really?! lol ok then.



if society and/or women dont see anything wrong with such, then dont you believe that there is something REALLY wrong with that same society/women or anyone who think its ok for children to have no emotional bond with their parents?!



bwaaaah! so because i dont live in Nigeria thats your reasoning for dismissing what i wrote?!?!?!?!?!
stop assuming rubbish... it makes an ASS out of U and ME.



if you believe that A) i dont know Nigerian women or B) what i wrote was that Nigerian women are good for nothing (aka insulting most of the women in my entire family), then you might never get my point. everywhere i go around the world (Nigeria included), i meet/deal with Nigerian women....are you also claiming that because i only go to Nigeria for shorter periods (ever since my earliest childhood memories), i know nothing about Nigerian women? where are all the Nigerian women that i meet from?! another planet?!

but let us not derail this thread.... YES i believe Nigerian families are dysfunctional, and no matter how much people are gonna say that it may be right to many, i dont see it that way... and thats my opinion on the subject.

Do you really not know any women who work?

Many of your posts on nl are rants about housewives. Your bitterness is amazing.

cococandy:
That’s why sometimes you don’t just read pass.
You call that BS out and move on.

People who don’t know Nigerian women would be pleasantly surprised when they actually meet one after only reading about them here on NL where we are only good for nothing .

It's good to call out BS just that people like mrbrown whatever dont like admitting they are wrong even when it's clear as daylight. If you get power for am them no wahala, continue talking to him.

Allen102:
Do you even know the meaning of job?

No Sir, tell me Sir!

As the name recommends, WASA is a Governmental body which has been qualified for the activity for Planning, Designing, Development and Maintenance of Water Supply and Sewerage and Draining System in our adored nation Pakistan. https://pakbuzz.pk/

nlPoster:
Do you really not know any women who work?

stick to the issue at hand

Many of your posts on nl are rants about housewives. Your bitterness is amazing.

i am always amazed at the hypocrisy of NLers like yourself... but then again, i know your type. everytime that i stand for Nigerian women, you and others will be quick to claim that its "all in a bid to get likes/favors from women on here" and when i write something against Nigerian women, then you and the same hypocrites will now turn around and claim its all misogyny.

when there was a thread about WHY AFRICANS DONT SETTLE FOR SINGLE MOTHERS (www.nairaland.com/5522883/why-africans-not-like-settle) and i was debating with EVERYONE telling them that there was nothing wrong with single mothers. where was your hypocrite self then?!

when there was a thread about a dude CONFUSED ABOUT DATING A SINGLE MOTHER (www.nairaland.com/5564707/im-state-dilemma-what#84626287) and i was telling him to just go with the flow and get to know the babe etc, where was your hypocrite self then?!

when there was a thread about TEACHING SINGLE ONES ABOUT MARRIAGE (www.nairaland.com/5557813/married-romancelanders-pls-teach-us#84504665) and i was writing about women in/and marriage, where was your hypocrite self then?!

or better yet, when in that same thread, some deluded man wrote rubbish about women in marriage, and i fully stood against what he posted (www.nairaland.com/5557813/married-romancelanders-pls-teach-us/1#84564691), where was your hypocrite self then?!

since you seem to be following me around and always trying to write about BS nonsense about me, let me help you:
- i stand for men and i stand against men... it all depends on the subject at hand.
- i stand for women and i stand against women... it all depends on the subject at hand.
- i stand for marriage and i stand against marriage... it all depends on the subject at hand.
- i will ALWAYS stand against: rapist, pedos, religion, cheating, polithieves, yahoo-yahoo. criminals, juju

good morning to you too...

I doubt it if this attack on each gender will stop till kingdom comes. I think everyone should just make up his/her mind to put in the best in their marriage instead of coming here to attack one another. As a boarding school student then in the 90's, there was this math and further maths genius in my hostel then, whenever we return from break, he comes back to school with 'wicked' hard mathematics text books then he told us his father was his mathematics mentor back at home. That was possible because the man created time not because he was jobless. Either the man or woman, staying at home doesn't make you useless, but what exactly are you engaged with. Women can be at home, yet she can be so much engaged, that does not make her useless while some will stay at home and you will always come back to handle community problems she must have caused. Just study who u wan marry and plan together on that which will suit her, you and the kids.

MrBrownJay1:


stick to the issue at hand



i am always amazed at the hypocrisy of NLers like yourself... but then again, i know your type. everytime that i stand for Nigerian women, you and others will be quick to claim that its "all in a bid to get likes/favors from women on here" and when i write something against Nigerian women, then you and the same hypocrites will now turn around and claim its all misogyny.

when there was a thread about WHY AFRICANS DONT SETTLE FOR SINGLE MOTHERS (www.nairaland.com/5522883/why-africans-not-like-settle) and i was debating with EVERYONE telling them that there was nothing wrong with single mothers. where was your hypocrite self then?!

when there was a thread about a dude CONFUSED ABOUT DATING A SINGLE MOTHER (www.nairaland.com/5564707/im-state-dilemma-what#84626287) and i was telling him to just go with the flow and get to know the babe etc, where was your hypocrite self then?!

when there was a thread about TEACHING SINGLE ONES ABOUT MARRIAGE (www.nairaland.com/5557813/married-romancelanders-pls-teach-us#84504665) and i was writing about women in/and marriage, where was your hypocrite self then?!

or better yet, when in that same thread, some deluded man wrote rubbish about women in marriage, and i fully stood against what he posted (www.nairaland.com/5557813/married-romancelanders-pls-teach-us/1#84564691), where was your hypocrite self then?!

since you seem to be following me around and always trying to write about BS nonsense about me, let me help you:
- i stand for men and i stand against men... it all depends on the subject at hand.
- i stand for women and i stand against women... it all depends on the subject at hand.
- i stand for marriage and i stand against marriage... it all depends on the subject at hand.
- i will ALWAYS stand against: rapist, pedos, religion, cheating, polithieves, yahoo-yahoo. criminals, juju

good morning to you too...

I did not wish you good morning, so that is irrelevant.

As per you asking me why I did not post on those threads dear to you, there are 5,305,755 topics on nl, I cant read or post on all of them even if I wanted to.

Should you have any discussion where you feel my contribution and opinion is needed, do not hesitate to bring it or them to my notice (without the snide attitutde/remarks/theatrics/histrionics and without rudely demanding I do so).

My question to you is, you rant a lot about housewives, do you really not know any women who are working, or why are you so bitter?

And why exactly do you spend so much time on nairaland ranting about women?

I quoted you without reading most of your post. I might do that later. I just scanned through your detailed comment.

nlPoster:

I did not wish you good morning, so that is irrelevant.
As per you asking me why I did not post on those threads dear to you, there are 5,305,755 topics on nl, I cant read or post on all of them even if I wanted to.

yet you will be quick to jump on your horses and claim i am ranting about housewives if i post anything negative about them BUT WILL BE QUIET when i say anything positive about them?!?!?! stop being a hypocrite!

if you dont see my post praising Nigerian/African woman on NL then its obvious you are focusing on what your narrow mind wants to see.

Should you have any discussion where you feel my contribution and opninion is needed, do not hesitate to bring it or them to my notice (withuot the snide remarks and without rudely demanding I do so).
And why exactly do you spend so much time on nairaland ranting about women?

sadly you only focus on the threads where i say anything negative about Nigerian women while obviously NEVER noticing when i praise Nigerian/African women... here is a clue: before you quote me with rubbish, then next time you see me praising Nigerian women then quote me too (instead of pretending you dont see it).... you hypocrite!

there will always be deluded people on NL always quick to quote someone as soon as they say something that they dont like....and then try to claim rubbish, instead of focusing on the issue at hand.

I quoted you without reading most of your post. I might do that later. I just scanned through your detailed comment.

do you want my autograph too?!
btw: if you expect me to praise Nigerian/African women whether they CHEAT, STEAL, KILL or MURDER THEIR INFANTS or do anything that i believe is wrong, then you are just as clueless as i thought you were. when husbands do something wrong, i stand against it, and when they do right, i stand for it.... same goes for wifeys.

Just let me know wherever you praise housewives and let the matter rest there.


Since you've appointed yourself as the "sanctifier" of who should receive commendation and who should not.

Jesus help you and cleanse your soul of evil.

Because women; consciously or unconsciously; tend to bring up their children to support them; while the father is presented as someone to be feared while they are the benefactors. Growing up with two parents, you would definitely have heard these statements:

- "just wait till your father gets home, I will tell him what you did and he will cane you very well".
- "don't worry, I know your uniform is torn. I will talk to your daddy and I will collect the money for a new set from him".
- "don't tell your daddy that we went to do our hair (to a daughter), it's our secret"
- "don't tell your daddy, he will beat you. We will think of somethong to say".

All these and the poor daddy doesn't know how his name is being besmirched, and ironically, may never have even beaten any of the children before. Incidentally, women tend to use the cane more than men on their children, but children don't really take records, and they are easily deceived.

It's actually a natural thing; women are engineered to seek financial security, and they groom their children to take over the task of supporting them from their husband when he gets old and unable to work. To do this; they deliberately gloss over the fact that the father has to break his back paying for the food, rent and fees of the children. It is inevitable.

My advice to fathers is; don't waste all your wealth and energy providing frivolities for your wife and children. Provide the basics of food, shelter and housing; as well as preparation for their future by educating them. Any surplus wealth after that should be invested on your own future; one or two income-generating streams with little or no risk. Because your wife will eat your money with you, and when that money runs out, you can be sure that she will not share your hunger, your children will always take only her to live with them and she won't look back for a second, believe me.

Some Nigerian fathers aren't just there....they spent their lifetime chasing after anything in skirts (with their observing children watching them), impregnating anything in skirts and bringing hardships on their immediate family.
Let's take note: Children see through the facades even when mothers try to protect them.
Fathers resentment is deep!