shugaboy6102:
This is my story and I will appreciate if the mods can push it to front page so that others can read and learn from me, and I also need your honest comments and advice because you could be saving a drowning man.

I Am 29 years of age, a civil engineer by profession and a sanguine by temperament. Before my youth service @ age 24 I got my girl friend pregnant and I was scared of abortion so we decided to keep the baby with the full support of my mother and she agreed because I was an only son. After that, we proceeded to see her people with my mum and relatives to my girl friends village and we paid something on her head but didn't complete the whole traditional right, but this was not even the traditional wedding proper.

After that we saw ourselves as husbands and wife and we were living fine for sometime. After sometime, the relationship took a different turn as we were always fighting and didn't agree on even the slightest matter. I remember vividly one occasion we fought over a female colleague @ work who sent me a whatsapp message and why we fought was that she came to my work place and fought the young lady openly embarrassing me in the process in front of everyone.

There were times I would try to reconcile but she would blatantly refused, sometimes she will tell me she is fed up of this thing we call marriage and that she's looking for someone that I too should look for someone else.

Fast-forward I met a lady and one thing led to another and I started picking interest in her. It was never my intention to be with another woman but I don't have peace of mind and I feel I am loosing my mind.

Note: I haven't wedded in a church before or done a full traditional marriage. Here comes the question: would it be considered a divorce if I quit this union and marry this new lady?

I am full of unhappiness and pain and I don't want to live a life of endurance and pity. Pls nobody should pressure you into getting married, marriage is not a license to live a happy life. If you are single, I envy you.

Brother, they are all the same... Marry another one and get the worst situation of your life, work on the one you have now, some of us are 10yrs plus now and that's how it was at the early stage, but over time things become great... Wish you all the best.

shugaboy6102:
This is my story and I will appreciate if the mods can push it to front page so that others can read and learn from me, and I also need your honest comments and advice because you could be saving a drowning man.

I Am 29 years of age, a civil engineer by profession and a sanguine by temperament. Before my youth service @ age 24 I got my girl friend pregnant and I was scared of abortion so we decided to keep the baby with the full support of my mother and she agreed because I was an only son. After that, we proceeded to see her people with my mum and relatives to my girl friends village and we paid something on her head but didn't complete the whole traditional right, but this was not even the traditional wedding proper.

After that we saw ourselves as husbands and wife and we were living fine for sometime. After sometime, the relationship took a different turn as we were always fighting and didn't agree on even the slightest matter. I remember vividly one occasion we fought over a female colleague @ work who sent me a whatsapp message and why we fought was that she came to my work place and fought the young lady openly embarrassing me in the process in front of everyone.

There were times I would try to reconcile but she would blatantly refused, sometimes she will tell me she is fed up of this thing we call marriage and that she's looking for someone that I too should look for someone else.

Fast-forward I met a lady and one thing led to another and I started picking interest in her. It was never my intention to be with another woman but I don't have peace of mind and I feel I am loosing my mind.

Note: I haven't wedded in a church before or done a full traditional marriage. Here comes the question: would it be considered a divorce if I quit this union and marry this new lady?

I am full of unhappiness and pain and I don't want to live a life of endurance and pity. Pls nobody should pressure you into getting married, marriage is not a license to live a happy life. If you are single, I envy you.

Ah, you got in with a wrong woman who is probably in her hoe stage. She thought marriage is what she sees in the movies and zeeworld. She just discovered you tied her down with the pregnancy and seeing her friends on Facebook laughing and dining made her depressed. Call her and seperate in peace like where boy friend girl friend and breaking up. The problem is 5yrs to come, she will want to come back thats if she didnt find another husband and thats when the main problem will start. If her dad took dowry, she is officially your wife so, you must collect your dowry back (divorce) otherwise, she was just a concubine.

Lol, stop envying single guys bc in 5 yrs time you will start envying married guys, just grow up.

Teaveapoet:
what if i say its too early to think you have met a new person.and what to settle down with her? you say this lady that has a child for you was your girlfriend, definitely things were going well before she got pregnant. why don't you sit her down and counsel her or both of you should meet a counselor or elders in your family. i don't see divorce as an option here and marrying another wife is more like double trouble.

The guy didnt know marriage is not BF and GF, I understand him sha

I will advise you based on people I know that married because they impregnated the lady. Many years ago our tenant was married to his wife because he impregnated the lady and his parents made him marry her. Subsequently he was unhappy and always beat the wife up. It was a miserable marriage.
Another case I knew was that the man impregnated the lady and her parents refused the man from marrying her. She later married another man and trained the child up until she married. She was happy she didn't marry the man that first impregnated her. Evaluate the situation in the light of my illustrations. If you paid bride price then make peace with her and try to help her find fulfillment in life. Repent of every sin and ask God for forgiveness.

shugaboy6102:
This is my story and I will appreciate if the mods can push it to front page so that others can read and learn from me, and I also need your honest comments and advice because you could be saving a drowning man.

I Am 29 years of age, a civil engineer by profession and a sanguine by temperament. Before my youth service @ age 24 I got my girl friend pregnant and I was scared of abortion so we decided to keep the baby with the full support of my mother and she agreed because I was an only son. After that, we proceeded to see her people with my mum and relatives to my girl friends village and we paid something on her head but didn't complete the whole traditional right, but this was not even the traditional wedding proper.

After that we saw ourselves as husbands and wife and we were living fine for sometime. After sometime, the relationship took a different turn as we were always fighting and didn't agree on even the slightest matter. I remember vividly one occasion we fought over a female colleague @ work who sent me a whatsapp message and why we fought was that she came to my work place and fought the young lady openly embarrassing me in the process in front of everyone.

There were times I would try to reconcile but she would blatantly refused, sometimes she will tell me she is fed up of this thing we call marriage and that she's looking for someone that I too should look for someone else.

Fast-forward I met a lady and one thing led to another and I started picking interest in her. It was never my intention to be with another woman but I don't have peace of mind and I feel I am loosing my mind.

Note: I haven't wedded in a church before or done a full traditional marriage. Here comes the question: would it be considered a divorce if I quit this union and marry this new lady?

I am full of unhappiness and pain and I don't want to live a life of endurance and pity. Pls nobody should pressure you into getting married, marriage is not a license to live a happy life. If you are single, I envy you.

You are NOT married to her yet and the relationship has become toxic. The best solution is to end it. Do it now.

xteve:
na so this marriage thing be?

No be so e be o, no fear. Some people see the signs even in the relationship before the marriage but ignore it.

The problem is that you are a SHUGABOY instead of SHUGADADDY. Grow up and face realities of marriage instead of rushing into the arms of another woman.

jaszplus12:

Sir, I only expressed my opinion. I'm sure if you are also doing the same. I'm just shocked that you can start your statement with "just shut up there"
Maybe you're just nature's gutter.

Ok, next time state clearly that you are merely expressing an opinion. You did put across your point as though it was a fact.

Apologies.

Xisnin:

Most people can see through his bullshit.
He would have been the true victim(from his own side of the story) had he not
brought up the other woman's angle.
Now everyone can see that he wants divorce so he could be with his mistress.

He doesn't need any advice, he should go ahead and divorce her.

True words...

Idolsbecomeriva:



Bro I’m in the mess as yours, mine disrespect me, insults me and even my brothers , she never regards or take any advice from me or even see me as the man that married her and paid her bride price and even did her marriage,

She never appreciate anything I do for her and the most painful part of that the men she respects and honor outside are not even up to my
Level or standards,

She has once chased me out of the house during winter and there was nothing I could do because of the law, I had to lodge in an hotel for almost 2 weeks, this is the same girl I brought to Europe with my hard earned money .

But gun and kill her. Thats the trend

mrchineke:


Ok, next time state clearly that you are merely expressing an opinion. You did put across your point as though it was a fact.

Apologies.

Apologies accepted buddy!
Next time I'll surely do as you said...put it forward as my opinion.
Thanks for the clarification.
I apologise for shooting back at you too... please forgive...

[quote author=millionboi2 post=85037436]Counsel her as if u women listen.[/quote u

please include your advice

I’m sure u turned her into wat she is now. U married her out of guilt while u go outside philandering. U made her insecure and dats wat happens wen a woman becomes a baby mama before becoming a wife. She thinks and feels ure going to make more baby mamas since ur long thing can’t stay one place. Pls u both shud go ur different ways before u bring more babies into dis world. She deserves a better man . While u deserve urs too. Take a break abeg

By remarrying will be the greatest mistake in your life. Go back and do the needful. Your marriage is never a complete marriage and so you don't expect the full joy of marriage.
The truth is always better. Cutting off a head is never a solution to headache. The new lady you think is good today may turn out to be another thing tomorrow. So stick to the fight when you are hardest hit.
You people started well, but something went wrong somewhere. Go back to the source and do correction.


Thanks

shugaboy6102:
Really am not talking even based on the new lady I met, what am asking is are we legally married? and if so do we keep enduring each other and for how long. Should I stay with her out of convenience because of what people in my church will say, my neighbours, friends, colleagues etc. Do we keep tolerating when we both know it was out of passion and youthful exuberance that landed us both in this. Oh God help me because my life is in a mess I hope someone understands me

Anyways, so how you take work your situation out? Did you leave your wife in order to go after the other lady then? Are you happier now?

shugaboy6102:
Really am not talking even based on the new lady I met, what am asking is are we legally married? and if so do we keep enduring each other and for how long. Should I stay with her out of convenience because of what people in my church will say, my neighbours, friends, colleagues etc. Do we keep tolerating when we both know it was out of passion and youthful exuberance that landed us both in this. Oh God help me because my life is in a mess I hope someone understands me

She told you she is done with the union and in search for another man. So, what other form of guarantee do you want?

Go ahead and do whatever you feel is good for you!