You turn the right cheek.

Insults.

We live in an institutionally patriarchal society, a man who is assaulted by his wife could be deemed weak, including by himself.

cococandy:


I wonder why though

Success02:
I did not react at all. I felt if I gave her one slap something else could happen

You be man my brother. It's not okay to be physically aggressive and her reaction is condemnable. But let's get to root cause.

First, as a man when you tell another soul that your wife slap you, you have turned yourself into 'mumu of life' and you will find yourself defending yourself for the rest of your life by proving to everyone who cares to see that you are an alpha man. Dem go turn you to craze man, maybe even destroy your marriage. Dem go quickly help you spread am and add x10 everything they tell that story.

You know your wife better than us. Is she an aggressive person by nature? What are you missing? Are you pushing her to the wall that hitting you is her last resort? Issues like this always boils down to troubled communication. No price is too heavy to pay for peace in your home. Have a sit down with your wife and make her understand that REGARDLESS of what either of you may have done or said, physical aggression is off the table. Erase this one from your memory like it never happened but let her know it's a boundary that must never be crossed ever again or she would be deemed to have signed your divorce papers automatically. Ball in her court.

And please don't take open communication for granted. Don't be reporting each other to third parties cos frankly people don't really care. Mostly they just pass judgement based on their own experience too. There will be bias. And sometimes they want to welcome you into their chaotic circle esp if their marriage is troubled too. Be very careful. Let God be your third party. I want to believe you and wifey are two reasonable adults. God help you.

Good luck, OP. And please stop bringing your marital issues to Nairaland. Frustrated people haven na as e be.

I blame some sissy.

cooooooks:
Some women are ready to pick knife anyhow. Many don't even believe they'd use it but you never know what could happen in the moment.

I dont know sha. Me and my wife blow eachother very well,strong ones o, at any part of the body EXCEPT the face. I give her blow she gives me back.

We do rough play alot almost on daily basis sha. We play rough even in front of our kids,even our kids nodey look our side again when we start our rough play.

We chase ourselves around in our house and sometimes in our compound(we dont have neighnours ,and its fenced). It has always been like that since our school days sha.

My wife has never slaped my face sha oo,doing rough play or not. I hope she will never do that. This is what is obtained in my family.

Your wife slapping your face is what is obtained in yours. I guess that should not be a big deal.

Is this your first slap from her? If yes,then pls let it slide.

Has she always been aggressive?, If yes, that too can be managed.

Is she the dominant type? If yes,then there is a litttle bit of issue here.

Talk to her firmly, let her know that she should not repeat it again.

Success02:
For the first time ever in my life, my wife slapped me twice. You want to know my reaction?

Honestly I was surprised to see my wife slapped me. I thought within myself what could have warranted it.

On Saturday, we went for a party which I was reluctant to attend but I did because I wanted to please my wife. I did all I could to make her happy and to make her feel good but as much as I did, she flared up when I left to ease myself.

She complained that I went with a girl which was not so. To cut the story short I left the party without my wife and we kept distance for some days. Every instructions I gave to my wife since then she would just do it reluctantly and when I needed to get to her office after work so that we could go home together, I would just see that she was not there. when I got back home I decided to get spare key so as to return home from work without waiting for her, I asked her for the spare and she started raising voice on me. I reacted as a man and all of a sudden I got the first slap followed by the second one. Though I didn't react because I don't know what to do.

My question is what will be your reaction if you happen to be in my shoes?

PeacenLove2:


You be man my brother. It's not okay to be physically aggressive and her reaction is condemnable. But let's get to root cause.

First, as a man when you tell another soul that your wife slap you, you have turned yourself into 'mumu of life' and you will find yourself defending yourself for the rest of your life by proving to everyone who cares to see that you are an alpha man. Dem go turn you to craze man, maybe even destroy your marriage. Dem go quickly help you spread am and add x10 everything they tell that story.

You know your wife better than us. Is she an aggressive person by nature? What are you missing? Are you pushing her to the wall that hitting you is her last resort? Issues like this always boils down to troubled communication. No price is too heavy to pay for peace in your home. Have a sit down with your wife and make her understand that REGARDLESS of what either of you may have done or said, physical aggression is off the table. Erase this one from your memory like it never happened but let her know it's a boundary that must never be crossed ever again or she would be deemed to have signed your divorce papers automatically. Ball in her court.

And please don't take open communication for granted. Don't be reporting each other to third parties cos frankly people don't really care. Mostly they just pass judgement based on their own experience too. There will be bias. And sometimes they want to welcome you into their chaotic circle esp if their marriage is troubled too. Be very careful. Let God be your third party. I want to believe you and wifey are two reasonable adults. God help you.

Good luck, OP. And please stop bringing your marital issues to Nairaland. Frustrated people haven na as e be.

Thanks so much....I really appreciate this

xavuv:
I dont know sha. Me and my wife blow eachother very well,strong ones o, at any part of the body EXCEPT the face. I give her blow she gives me back.

We do rough play alot almost on daily basis sha. We play rough even in front of our kids,even our kids nodey look our side again when we start our rough play.

We chase ourselves around in our house and sometimes in our compound(we dont have neighnours ,and its fenced). It has always been like that since our school days sha.

My wife has never slaped my face sha oo,doing rough play or not. I hope she will never do that. This is what is obtained in my family.

Your wife slapping your face is what is obtained in yours. I guess that should not be a big deal.

Is this your first slap from her? If yes,then pls let it slide.

Has she always been aggressive?, If yes, that too can be managed.

Is she the dominant type? If yes,then there is a litttle bit of issue here.

Talk to her firmly, let her know that she should not repeat it again.

She has always been aggressive but not to the point of slapping me and I've never thought she could slap me until she did

xavuv:
I dont know sha. Me and my wife blow eachother very well,strong ones o, at any part of the body EXCEPT the face. I give her blow she gives me back.

We do rough play alot almost on daily basis sha. We play rough even in front of our kids,even our kids nodey look our side again when we start our rough play.

We chase ourselves around in our house and sometimes in our compound(we dont have neighnours ,and its fenced). It has always been like that since our school days sha.

My wife has never slaped my face sha oo,doing rough play or not. I hope she will never do that. This is what is obtained in my family.

Your wife slapping your face is what is obtained in yours. I guess that should not be a big deal.

Is this your first slap from her? If yes,then pls let it slide.

Has she always been aggressive?, If yes, that too can be managed.

Is she the dominant type? If yes,then there is a litttle bit of issue here.

Talk to her firmly, let her know that she should not repeat it again.

I love this kin play

but y are we like dis in dis country ? if to say na d man slap d wife now , we no go Dy give her dis kind advice o ..... some idiots will say dis comment is not mature now, but Mr Man , ur woman try to get mind slap u o ..... as uno return d slap now u try ..... but if I were u ...I will send her to her father's house till further notice.

bukatyne:


You reacted as a man meaning?

Modified: You have clarified the above.

First, your wife doesn't trust you. Either you have cheated in the past or she is a nervous wreck thinking all men-women interaction ends in sex.

Since she doesn't appreciate you going out of your way for her, you can limit some things not essential/fundamental.

For instance, she did not appreciate you going with her for the party; tell her next time 'I would love to go with you, however, you do not appreciate it which hurts me and makes it feel a waste of my time' etc in your words. She should get the message and sit up.

Your marriage is also filled with too much rancor hence the malice for days, request for spare key so you don't pick her up with work etc.

I don't know how the discussion/argument flowed that day since you are the victim here.

Hold her hands and tell her that the only touch you would tolerate from her is romantic touch. The next she slaps you, you will.....

Insert whatever sounds serious enough that she thinks you can go through with the meanest face you have.

I apologize on her behalf.

why would you apologies for a crime committed by another woman against her husband?

mysticwarrior:
why would you apologies for a crime committed by another woman against her husband?

Because I can and I want to

bukatyne:


Because I can and I want to

OK o

descartes400:
Such utterly disrespect from your wife!! She has done wrong, you have not! If you don't stamp your authority and take concrete and stern action to counter her physical and domestic abuse of you, bringing her to the realization she has caused harm capable of destroying the marriage, she will continue to dish out hot slap for every and any misunderstanding that might arise.

Your letting her action slide is not how to be and act as a man.
Take charge of your HOME NOW!!
Take action,act now, sit back and watch it flow like a boss....apologies to Aro1

If my wife dare slap me eeh... hmm, immediately, with the speed of sound, a Raphael nada forehand slap,followed by a roger Federer backhand slap and if she's still standing on her feet by then, I will conclude with a jet lee kick to her two legs. Nonsense!

Oh my God!
You wan kill the poor woman?



Anyways she's totally wrong slapping the husband. She get mind.

If I were the man? And she slapped me? Before the second one land, I will raise my finger to her face and warn her with thunderous eyes and meanest face ever . If you dare slap me z the second time, you will regret the day u were born!

Then I will push her off my front and walk away. She won't see me for two weeks!

What nonsense!
Next time she will behave!

My goodness! this is how women take men as weakling. you for dash her three better slap, then carry Cain flog am, then push her enter bed, give am bettering f u c k ! next time she no go try am. chai the woman get mind o.

This reminds me of the woman that stabbed her husband to death early this year or so. I mean the ibadan lawyer.

cooooooks:
Some women are ready to pick knife anyhow. Many don't even believe they'd use it but you never know what could happen in the moment.

TonyeBarcanista:

Kai! Too many women in men's skin!

What manner of nonsense gentleman? That one is MUMU²

He is actually this churchy type and I am pretty sure he is only acting gentle cos of that.
I can't call him a Pastor but he is a very respected fellow in the church.

When I married my wife I said something regarding slapping and physical violence to her. The moment it happens I am leaving the house and the marriage. To beat someone is to first view the person as a lower human than you and then secondly to believe that you are justified in using force.

To the OP either you or her must leave the house. In a marriage we train one another to accept or reject certain behaviour. If slapping is accepted, what is next?

Orlaoluwayimika:


He is actually this churchy type and I am pretty sure he is only acting gentle cos of that.
I can't call him a Pastor but he is a very respected fellow in the church.

He's a mumu! Being a Christian doesn't make one a fool

Graxie:
Why will your wife slap you? Is she mad? Anyway, this is your version of the story, we are yet to get her own side. Nobody deserves abusive spouse, if she is so hot tempered, tell her to leave. Don't develop hbp because of untrained adult. Her foundation is faulty, I am sure you are trying not to be like the normal nairaland husband that would have given her several knocks on the head just to prove that they are men. You did well from your narrative, but you need a breathing space from that woman. I hate people who hardly forgive or abusive. Allow her to see that you are not her punching bag, be wise. For those claiming maybe he has cheated, and so? Is that a yardstick for slapping? If she cannot cope with a cheater let her leave.

Paradoxical.