midnighter:


But he still ate the food! Thats what I dont understand. Why did he continue eating it if cooking for him is the epitome of stupidity

Do people know what it means to plan and prepare a decent meal for somebody? If its not enough for you then let the lady go and cook for somebody else haba!

Are you saying that's all there is?
Cooking!!?

Let's speak the truth. Self development matters a lot! If he doesn't tag you along, pushes you to be a better version of yourself, pushes you to set goals for yourself,then he's not worth the time. Someone that really has your best interest at heart,won't sit back and watch you waste away.

mhizv:


Are you saying that's all there is?
Cooking!!?

Let's speak the truth. Self development matters a lot! If he doesn't tag you along, pushes you to be a better version of yourself, pushes you to set goals for yourself,then he's not worth the time. Someone that really has your best interest at heart,won't sit back and watch you waste away.

Yes, I totally agree with you on the bolded and thats what I have been saying.

But I dont think it entails being disdainful about the ones she does already. At least the cooking was useful to him too wasnt it?

I mean I purposely picked out cooking from the list that you gave because I dont think it should be among the group of "worthless" or frivolous tasks carried out for a man.

At least housework should be appreciated even though we encourage ourselves to do more than that

Ginaz:
Please what I hate most is general misconceptions. It’s not every woman who did nothing while the man was hustling , some women literally did odd jobs , side hustles and other things to make their lives better .

Some went to school, really hustle as much as the man. I hate stupid talks like these , do you people think women are brainless and useless? Majority I see Omo, dem Dey hustle and their bfs broke like mad.

You guys should stop preaching what you don’t know . My mom’s friend is a hustler , singlehandedly paid for rent for those years the guy was broke and hustling , did one or two things for the ungrateful guy only for him to abscond with another girl . Wasted her youthful years for nothing.

As for now sef, I won’t advise any girl to put up with a guy for any reasons cos of statements like these.

Some mumu will just write up and come to say you only asked for Brazilian hairs and shoes like they knew you or stayed with you in the house to know that.

All the girls I Dey see for street dem Dey hustle . Dem be hustlers , they gat dreams. Stop the stereotype!!!!

Just as there are good for nothing men, there are good for nothing women too.

On a ratio of 80% , girls Dey hustle even in relationships.

Obvious you just a keypad warrior who doesn't understand what's up there....cant you read and understand...She called no names and she didn't say all woman....she picked just a lady....learn to read and move next time or your conscience judges you?

bukatyne:
What a lot if ladies have not realized is that everyman needs a type of woman in life per time.

This might be one lady expected to pick up many hats for the monogamous ones or several ladies for several hats.

For instance, a poor man who had a resourceful making garri swell and knowing where to buy the cheapest second hand clothes doesn't need that skill when he becomes the MD. He needs her to start speaking investments and good appearances.

Again men's definition of a wife differs.

Do you know what your man defines a wife as?

@ first emboldened, you do know how that sounds like don't you?

@second, how is a woman suppose to jump from selling garri overnight to being investment savvy if he doesn't guide her through the process same way he did for himself?

You know the problem with these set of guys who leave ladies that were with them through tough times? they don't just have the patience to bring her up to their desire, they want an immediate, at the moment, already available, tasteful lady that fit the criteria, of which, at the end, some regret that decision, while some stay with their choice no matter what, cos of the shame and embarrassment, they prefer to cry in their closet.

My advice for guys who has ladies that stood by them, build her up as you build yourself, it takes guts, love and endurance for a lady to stay that long, the best feeling in the world for any couple is knowing that whatever happens, if things becomes difficult in future, she'll always be there.

Biglittlelois:



1. @ first emboldened, you do know how that sounds like don't you?

2. @second, how is a woman suppose to jump from selling garri overnight to being investment savvy if he doesn't guide her through the process same way he did for himself?

3. You know the problem with these set of guys who leave ladies that were with them through tough times? they don't just have the patience to bring her up to their desire, they want an immediate, at the moment, already available, tasteful lady that fit the criteria, of which, at the end, some regret that decision, while some stay with their choice no matter what, cos of the shame and embarrassment, they prefer to cry in their closet.

4. My advice for guys who has ladies that stood by them, build her up as you build yourself, it takes guts, love and endurance for a lady to stay that long, the best feeling in the world for any couple is knowing that whatever happens, if things becomes difficult in future, she'll always be there.

1. My second paragraph clarifies the first.

2. I did not say selling garri: I said soaking garri to swell.

3 & 4: A woman should develop herself as her man is developing herself so she is still of value everytime the man leans back to look at her.

It is not even a woman's thing: do you know how many men dumped after they train girls in school under the guise of 'they are not good enough'?

The Bible says: Love your neighbor as yourself. Not more, not less.

You love your man/woman enough to stick by them? Ensure you are also bring yourself up to speed to be at par with them when they emerge.

Some people are however wicked and go for someone they know would be fine with their low state and when they emerge, they discard the person and find their real 'spec'.

cococandy:
The problem I have with that OP is that it undervalues the contributions of the stay home partner. Having warm food and clean clothes ready for your partner every day is not easy. If he thinks she’s just maid, let him employ someone and pay them to do that every day.

Many men actually do expect to have a woman who does all as stated in the OP for them yet manages to be out in the career world doing as much as he does too. It’s unrealistic. The earlier they choose which it’s going to be the better for everyone.

Damn right! The stay at home partner, most of the time the woman, is undervalued, always has been and always will be and it has put women in a vulnerable position for far too long. This is why I will always encourage women to have a plan B and be self-reliant, not only financially but intellectually as well. And it's not only that, I believe that everyone should aspire to be the best they can be, learn, develop and grow.

There’s no end to threads pulling women in every different direction as to what it means to be a good woman. One day housewives are awesome because they prioritize the needs of the man over their personal aspirations. The next day they are sloths and leeches depending on men for their livelihoods. Anything to diss on women.

Completely true!

And for me, it’s not so much the articles themselves that are irritating (I understand people will have preferences) but it’s just more irritating when the same set of dimwits are the ones all the over the place on each thread as long as the purpose for that day is to see how well they can insult women.

Just watch them.

I have been watching them for a long time and came to the conclusion that they are the most useless and insecure creatures walking this earth. This is why I don't understand why any woman would choose to depend on them in any way, shape or form.

Ginaz:
Please what I hate most is general misconceptions. It’s not every woman who did nothing while the man was hustling , some women literally did odd jobs , side hustles and other things to make their lives better .

Some went to school, really hustle as much as the man. I hate stupid talks like these , do you people think women are brainless and useless? Majority I see Omo, dem Dey hustle and their bfs broke like mad.

You guys should stop preaching what you don’t know . My mom’s friend is a hustler , singlehandedly paid for rent for those years the guy was broke and hustling , did one or two things for the ungrateful guy only for him to abscond with another girl . Wasted her youthful years for nothing.

As for now sef, I won’t advise any girl to put up with a guy for any reasons cos of statements like these.

Some mumu will just write up and come to say you only asked for Brazilian hairs and shoes like they knew you or stayed with you in the house to know that.

All the girls I Dey see for street dem Dey hustle . Dem be hustlers , they gat dreams. Stop the stereotype!!!!

Just as there are good for nothing men, there are good for nothing women too.

On a ratio of 80% , girls Dey hustle even in relationships.

Did you say 80%, of"nowadays" gals?
Damn, that's way too much
I agree with you that not all girls demand, but I disagree that 80% hustle, what most want is a ready made man
Take or leave it

Riele:


I'm here wondering what's hateful about my posts .

Admit it , you men have unhealthy egos .

Oh , because i post about men mean i've been hurt by some man ?

Lmao , go get a seat . I'm not much of a f00l to be hurt by a man .

So you're into women then
No wonder, that explains a lot.

Very good write-up

samdavjustin:


Nawa ooo you seemed so pained abi what the op said is absolutely right about you? We all see things through different sides. The op is not totally wrong as there are ladies who act that way but obviously not all

Incase u don't know, that's the most bitter girl on NL.. Ain't it obvious she's pained and broken.. dem done use her heart play ping pong taya. Just allow her space to rant and release her frustrations bro. Pay her no mind

The topic is one of 2019 NDLEA Recruitment English Question

Ishilove:
Poignant. However, not all women sit idly by when their man is broke and hustling. Be that as it may, just as there are scumbag men, there are also scummy women. How some women can comfortably bill a man for their expenses when they aren't aren't crippled always amazes me. Get up and work, add value to your family, relationship and the society so that egomanic misogynists will not come online to say rubbish about the womenfolk. A scummy man will still find an excuse to leave even if you work your fingers to the bone, but at least you will be able to beat your chest that you are an independent woman who was taken advantage of by a no good, rat soup eating son of a bitch. (Thank you, Dolemite).

Someone up there also said "after hoeing they go to the Gram to sell wigs and bags". Going by this statement, all IG hustlers at retired prostitutes?

*sigh* I need a break from NL. I can feel the stench of ignorance and toxic stupidity trying hard to overwhelm me.


On a side note: Feminism must be the most abused word in gender relations in Nigeria.

Even though you are yourself not free from your condemnation. Always claiming I TOO KNOW, Jumping from thread to thread with stench of ignorance and toxic stupidity while glowing in pride in such stench. My dear you are very much guilty of your own condemnation. We will be glad to see you go on a long vacation. WE DARE YOU TO TAKE A BREAK. OF COURSE YOU CAN'T BECAUSE WITHOUT NL, LIFE MAKES NO MEANING TO YOU, LIKE SOME FOLKS ON HERE WHOSE LIVES REVOLVES AROUND NL, IMPRISONED.

NL, A PLATFORM FOR IGNORANT AND TOXIC STUPID PEOPLE AS YOU HAVE DESCRIBED.

Ain't you a mod or once a mod?! And with no effort in sanitizing NL because you ain't any different either from your condemnation.

lavylilly


op, you have done well! ladies need to contribute something, no matter how small.

luminouz:
I've read this before on NL


Is this your personal work?

Give credits to the writer na

guy, your head get oil!


This has been on the internet as far back as 2015.. I'll send a few links to support your claim....






op, you tried, but try to quote the source you got it from next time!


it's been on nairaland since..

see one link>>

https://www.nairaland.com/2801533/ladies-wise-up




see another link>>


https://www.nairaland.com/2794994/dear-girls

Ginaz:
Some people will just come and be writing rubbish . That’s how you give men the right to just do anyhow things and get away free.

Which man in his right senses would watch his girlfriend grow up with him with no dreams of her own or even if the lady doesn’t have dreams, he can’t build her up? That means the guy doesn’t care anyway and he is just using the girl for sex.

Girls I would advise you to follow men who have visions, aspirations and a future cos even if you were the most dumbest girl in the whole world, their dreams would rub off on you to make you become better.

Na only empty and wicked boyfriends na fit do that . They are building their lives , they know the girl isn’t making any steps to build hers but would hang around, f***k her for years only to dump her like a trash. If she didn’t have plans, why not leave her ? Why hang around and use her and dump her? It’s very painful .

There is no excuse whatever in the planet that justifies that. It’s very painful and I sympathize with any lady facing this situation.

The man simply would have left her since she wasn’t good enough than to dump her at the last minute.

Every man is automatically bent on making it in life. It is you ladies with your annoying sense of entitlement who have refused to work for and own your own.

Even if you want to help establish them, that mentality of having things easily is sooooo permanent in their heads that they would reject anything requiring too much effort.

No be Naija here we dey again? Nigerian girls are a problem to themselves. I have seen enough. And their fake feminism and toxic attitude in addition can make a man lose interest in them almost instantly. They will try so hard to immediately make you understand that they have options.

Na their appearance be their only concern. Before you find the exceptions you will find among them, e go tey. Nigerian girls still have a very long way to go and serious work to do on themselves.

midnighter:


But he still ate the food! Thats what I dont understand. Why did he continue eating it if cooking for him is the epitome of stupidity

Do people know what it means to plan and prepare a decent meal for somebody? If its not enough for you then let the lady go and cook for somebody else haba!

The reason why the matter gets worse is because people like you keep defending something wrong.

We are talking about the woman working on herself to be profitable to herself and also assist her partner, you are talking about cooking food that the man can cook by himself too.

Gordieshegz:


Yours is better bro..
I helped a young lady find her lost purse in a bus last week Thursday. And while looking into the purse, I saw her phone number written on a mini diary. So, I decided to call her to hand her stuff over to her.

She picked the call and was very happy. By the way, I stay abit far from where she lives. So, she resolved to coming for its collection in the evening time.

Lo and behold, she showed up around 5:40pm and I handed over her purse to her, bid her goodbye and turned back to be leaving. After taking about 3steps, she stopped to tell me she had no fee for her return fare and pleaded if I could reimburse her.

The very mistake I made was giving her the last #500 I had in my wallet. She must have seen some nice guy.

Would you believe should I tell you that this young lady sent me a text the following morning(5:30am) that she needed #5,000 to settle bills and annual level at school?

I called her around 7am to be sure if she knew who she sent a text and re-established her knowledge of me.
Consequently, I gave her a polite lecture that she should have recieved from home a long time ago: on content, dignity, timing and self esteem.
Asking for such from a total stranger showed how much of self respect she had.

That's how they are - small brain, or fish brain as they are referred here. Help a woman, she will remember you when another problem comes. The enough appreciation you did not get for your assistance will be completed when her head enters Gear 4 in an altercation and she tells you to your very face "what have you even done?" even if you gave her your own eyes.

DenreleDave:



How is it use and dump? Didn't they enjoy each other while having sex, wasn't d lady shout harder harder fukc me Bleep me hard.. So which one is use and dump again

Bros na where I give up on Nigerian girls be dat o.
They tend to think that sex is a favour offered to guys/men by them...that mentality among many other mentalities they have is crazy. I no just know why Naija girls/women different.

Same here. I wouldn’t encourage any woman to stay home. It’s a lot of work with little to no credit

Mindfulness:


Damn right! The stay at home partner, most of the time the woman, is undervalued, always has been and always will be and it has put women in a vulnerable position for far too long. This is why I will always encourage women to have a plan B and be self-reliant, not only financially but intellectually as well. And it's not only that, I believe that everyone should aspire to be the best they can be, learn, develop and grow.

Completely true!

I have been watching them for a long time and came to the conclusion that they are the most useless and insecure creatures walking this earth. This is why I don't understand why any woman would choose to depend on them in any way, shape or form.

hmmmm

midnighter:


You are quoting me out of context; read the post of the person who I was responding to first.

If you think she should bring more to the table then tell her what you want from her instead of rubbishing her efforts.

Cooking food alone does not make somebody useless and refusing to build on it does not invalidate the necessity or value of cooking. A serious man should appreciate it as a skill and help his partner to take it from there.

Youre being purposefully disingenuous; if the majority of men cooked their own food would we be having this discussion?

Rubbishing her efforts comes when she refuses to bring more to the table even when told to do so and she thinks the cooking and other added things are enough already. Such stubborn ones are capable of making the man die quicker because the load is all on him.

And that there is the picture of most Nigerian homes. Before you see exceptions, e go tey. Why? They've gotten used to getting things easily while single when they made every man feel that they've got options.

Worsestill, the few ones allowed to work would spend their salaries on themselves alone, leaving the burden of the family on the man as the head alone. The small brain women have is responsible for such mentality. Head here means to coordinate affairs of the family.

Nigerian girls/women have a lot of work to do on themselves. The girls/women elsewhere don't have the mentalities Nigerian girls/women operate with.

ngwababe:


Checking the OP's profile picture and signature, you'll just know she posted opposite of what she is. They post to gather likes, and nothing more.
Don't bother yourself sis, this is just copy and paste.

Make una dey defend bad thing make e worse.

Can you not see that the mentality of Nigerian girls/women is different from the mentality of other girls/women elsewhere?

In fact, Naija girls/women mata taya pesin, same thing with everyone of them. Before you see the very few exceptions, e go tey.

Everyone is meant to be ambitious and to be working on becoming successful. Men are automatically wired that way already. Women should be too, but sadly they are not. The very few ones that are (I mean very few) would not contribute their money to the well-being of the family.

Davash222:
When they’re done Hoeing, they turn to feminists and start to sell Bags, Wigs and Weavon on WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook. That’s their meaning of empowerment and Independent.
men are getting wiser now, Una go hear am!

Lol, this ur small statement reduced the OPs advice to nothing . My own be say I want a "maid" with brains, thats a definition of a real wife in Africa. I dont need a workaholic who wont have time for my kids. There is always a way to balance work, income and family.

midnighter:


At the bolded, nobody here is suggesting that.

If you've told her to step it up and she doesn't listen then you can choose to move on.

And if a lady is stingy with money when you've already requested her assistance and contribution to the household finances then she is a selfish and inconsiderate person.

Are you okay now

Nigerian women's mentality is different from other women's and Nigerian men's mentality is TOTALLY ANATHEMA to that of men in other places so you have no point whatsoever.

The Nigerian men's mentality you think is different is actually reaction to Nigerian women's obstinate, manly and entitlement mentalities.

Riele:


I'm here wondering what's hateful about my posts .

Admit it , you men have unhealthy egos .

Oh , because i post about men mean i've been hurt by some man ?

Lmao , go get a seat . I'm not much of a f00l to be hurt by a man .

Ladies too have unhealthy egos, accept it
Hurt by a man lol, guess that gateman did quite a good job

midnighter:


Nope, Nigerian women's mentality is a reaction to oppression and patriarchy that brainwashes us into thinking that our worth is defined by how far a man is willing to go for us.

If you people would give us some credit instead of messing us up at every corner we would give you some breathing space because we would find fulfillment in our own success instead of attaching it to yours.

You can't be the dominant element in a system and then complain that the person below you is pushing you to bully them unless you acknowledge that you are the originator of the initial problem by virtue of your oppression.

So are you trying to say that the reason why white people have historically oppressed black people is because black people push them to the wall Arrant nonsense.

Like the apple in the garden of eden, Lucifer has devised another means to make the Woman rebel against God's natural order. Feminism and especially the fake one by Nigerian women will get them nowhere. Why? Because there is no oppression anywhere in the first place. God's scheme of things can never be changed.

The man is and remains the head. Women equating themselves with men under the guise of liberation from whatever oppression is an experiment that will never work but lead to chaos.

Except you are an atheist, whichever faith you practice goes in line with my submission above. Christianity and Islam have no traces of Feminism even though Christians exhibit it majorly because Islam condemns it vehemently.

Davash222:
When they’re done Hoeing, they turn to feminists and start to sell Bags, Wigs and Weavon on WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook. That’s their meaning of empowerment and Independent.
men are getting wiser now, Una go hear am!

��� hahahahahaha. Mehn u are wicked!!!

MNDY:


Make una dey defend bad thing make e worse.

Can you not see that the mentality of Nigerian girls/women is different from the mentality of other girls/women elsewhere?

In fact, Naija girls/women mata taya pesin, same thing with everyone of them. Before you see the very few exceptions, e go tey.

Everyone is meant to be ambitious and to be working on becoming successful. Men are automatically wired that way already. Women should be too, but sadly they are not. The very few ones that are (I mean very few) would not contribute their money to the well-being of the family.

How did you come to this conclusion?

It's funny how you guys talk like this, but , in every street, every road, offices, politics, you see women hustling. Our mothers, sisters, aunties are out there, helping their families and someone like you is telling me what?

Mindfulness:


Damn right! The stay at home partner, most of the time the woman, is undervalued, always has been and always will be and it has put women in a vulnerable position for far too long. This is why I will always encourage women to have a plan B and be self-reliant, not only financially but intellectually as well. And it's not only that, I believe that everyone should aspire to be the best they can be, learn, develop and grow.



Completely true!




I have been watching them for a long time and came to the conclusion that they are the most useless and insecure creatures walking this earth. This is why I don't understand why any woman would choose to depend on them in any way, shape or form.

Lol then why did your mom meet your dad, women are not undervalued they have no value. Women depend on men cause they are livestock. Tell me why do women get married or date if not for Cash. Stop blindly supporting trash