Saintmary:

Screenshot those chats, send them to your phone, then delete them on your wife's phone, show them to her pastor, show them to your family when you have called a family meeting comprising of your family, her family, your pastor and hers. Don't be surprised if she opens your own can of worms too.
This is what happens when a couple refuses to undergo couples mentoring and remain teachable even after marriage.
Born again wife my foot

This is a very sound advice but before you go about exposing her, you might need to confront her. Do that now! I assume she must have had up to 3 children for you. Even the ex-boyfriend must have been married with children 'cos he must be close to 50 years of age. I don't think they have serious feelings for each other, it's like toying with old flame, which may come alive.
That is why you need to confront her now. She will desist.

Tekzyflex:
Old fire wood no dey quench! OK let me advice you what to do. Take her phone without her knowing. Delete the man's contact on her phone. Delete every form of social media contact she has with the said man. Just do it secretly. Thank me later

the man has her phone number and would always contact her even if his number has been deleted from her phone.

Tekzyflex:
Old fire wood no dey quench! OK let me advice you what to do. Take her phone without her knowing. Delete the man's contact on her phone. Delete every form of social media contact she has with the said man. Just do it secretly. Thank me later

lol this would escalate the issue.

Tales by moonlight. You must really think that some of us can't smell a fake story when it comes up right ? You've been married for 20 years and suddenly your wife's ex is now a problem in your marriage ; yeah right. I wonder what the next story line will be .

orbitalgis:


So you have been married for 20 years,meaning you are not a kid sir.What I find rather disturbing about your action is that you have chosen to bring your marital affairs to Nairaland for less experienced folks to chip in without even confronting your wife first.There is no wisdom in your approach and it's a shame to be honest.

Have you ever been caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.

Mr criticize him not.. This Right here might be his solution ground.

searchng4love:

I have missed you dear. How's your family?
Well I think the attraction remains because the guy is seeing a free chop without taking up any tedious responsibility?

Remove the roof over her head..... See the relationship crash.

I'm okay dear, you? Happy New Year

20yrs no be beans o. Just handle it maturely, let her know your stand.

Tekzyflex:
Old fire wood no dey quench! OK let me advice you what to do. Take her phone without her knowing. Delete the man's contact on her phone. Delete every form of social media contact she has with the said man. Just do it secretly. Thank me later

But the Kaduna man has her number, and will call her to find out why she is no longer chatting him up. If his number is blocked, he can call her with another number

orbitalgis:


So you have been married for 20 years,meaning you are not a kid sir.What I find rather disturbing about your action is that you have chosen to bring your marital affairs to Nairaland for less experienced folks to chip in without even confronting your wife first.There is no wisdom in your approach and it's a shame to be honest.

You are correct that many on nairaland seem not to have enough life experiences to help in matters like this. But I have read some reasonable comment on nairaland too.

The OP needs to be wise while reading comments, and choose wisely.

thorpido:
You don't have to do anything.Just as you imagined the story,you can simply draw a favourable conclusion.

thorpido:
You don't have to do anything.Just as you imagined the story,you can simply draw a favourable conclusion.

Confront her and ask her to choose between her ex and her husband.
It's not a fighting sturvs.
If she still wants the marriage, ask her to cut off all contact with broda ex

rtdCivilservant:

Are u saying after 20yrs the ex is still not married or doesn't have a reasonable thing doing?

Elderly married people cheat with each other more than with singles. Why cheat with someone who has nothing to lose while you have everything to lose?

How is she a born again Christian please ? Everybody claiming to be born again just by nomenclature? She's having extra marital affairs already, confront her with facts once and for all instead of staying there deceiving yourself claiming she's born again.. who knows if she's seeing someone else sef

stabillini:
My wife is a born-again Christian, we have been married for 20years and I have absolute trust in her until recently when she found her ex-boyfriend 4 years ago when she lost her father, the ex got to know about it and sent her 50k to cover some burial expenses. Since then they have been having prolonged chatting on whatsapp every day, I have been reading the chats.
Initially it seemed like normal chats like "how was your day?", "good morning, how was your night?" these chats always lead to other small talks.
But recently the chats have taken another turn. Now we have chats like "I couldn't sleep last night, I kept thinking of you" to which my wife would reply "same here". Last night the chat went like this.
Wife: "now that we have found each other, what next?"
Ex: "I am here to reclaim what rightfully belongs to me but was taken away from me 20years ago".
Wife: "don't you think that would be difficult? I'd like to see how you would do that".
Physically I know they have not been seeing each other because we are living in Abeokuta and the ex-boyfriend is living in Kaduna. But these chats are giving me so much worry. I don't know where it's leading to. They might plan to kill me. I have not confronted my wife knowing that the chats will stop and they might go underground. Pls, I need advices of fellow nairalanders

This is the most stupid response to this post, Mr know it all please give the best advice. Nonsense

orbitalgis:


So you have been married for 20 years,meaning you are not a kid sir.What I find rather disturbing about your action is that you have chosen to bring your marital affairs to Nairaland for less experienced folks to chip in without even confronting your wife first.There is no wisdom in your approach and it's a shame to be honest.

stabillini:
My wife is a born-again Christian, we have been married for 20years and I have absolute trust in her until recently when she found her ex-boyfriend 4 years ago when she lost her father, the ex got to know about it and sent her 50k to cover some burial expenses. Since then they have been having prolonged chatting on whatsapp every day, I have been reading the chats.
Initially it seemed like normal chats like "how was your day?", "good morning, how was your night?" these chats always lead to other small talks.
But recently the chats have taken another turn. Now we have chats like "I couldn't sleep last night, I kept thinking of you" to which my wife would reply "same here". Last night the chat went like this.
Wife: "now that we have found each other, what next?"
Ex: "I am here to reclaim what rightfully belongs to me but was taken away from me 20years ago".
Wife: "don't you think that would be difficult? I'd like to see how you would do that".
Physically I know they have not been seeing each other because we are living in Abeokuta and the ex-boyfriend is living in Kaduna. But these chats are giving me so much worry. I don't know where it's leading to. They might plan to kill me. I have not confronted my wife knowing that the chats will stop and they might go underground. Pls, I need advices of fellow nairalanders

Very bad business...she has no reason whatsoever chatting her ex boyfriend in that manner...the problem with some women is that they easily get carried away and excited by frivolities that often lead to a disappointing end for them. Stamp your ground sir and let her know you won't tolerate such nonsense!

Tekzyflex:
Old fire wood no dey quench! OK let me advice you what to do. Take her phone without her knowing. Delete the man's contact on her phone. Delete every form of social media contact she has with the said man. Just do it secretly. Thank me later

Sorry to ask....but how old are you?

healthserve:
It's simple. Confront and tell her you know about the chats. And that since she has made her decision you understand and accept it and that you both can part wages peaceably. Do this and whatever her reaction is settle for it and act wisely in its aftermath.


Sorry but you've lost her already. Even if she's physically present with you, her loyalty will not be adequate if you find yourself. In troubled waters like needs that require medical attention

Better to let her go to go satisfy her unrealistic fantasies along with the list of that lustful other. Immediately she leaves shop for another and enjoy your peace of mind. When she returns after the other would. Have fvcked the living daylights out of her not knowing he was only trying to seduce and have a fvck companion, it would have been too late..



But if you want to keep her. Delete all her social media handles and throw away the phone

Seconded!! ...

Don't let her know you are seeing her chats, continue to act normal or even more caring and loving, this will make her feel she is fooling you and being smart enough in her game. From her recent chats with the said ex, she is already falling for the man emotionally. You need all concrete evidence you can get, always ensure you screenshot the chats and save it. When you have enough evidence, you can then confront her, her reaction and defense will let you know your next line of action.

Oyindidi:
I'm okay dear, you? Happy New Year

I am perfectly chilled. Gonna be a great year ... meeting a female Akure Nairalander .....( Accommodation and free sexx things)

Tekzyflex:
Old fire wood no dey quench! OK let me advice you what to do. Take her phone without her knowing. Delete the man's contact on her phone. Delete every form of social media contact she has with the said man. Just do it secretly. Thank me later

And the man calls her back?

Tekzyflex:
Old fire wood no dey quench! OK let me advice you what to do. Take her phone without her knowing. Delete the man's contact on her phone. Delete every form of social media contact she has with the said man. Just do it secretly. Thank me later

Is he also going to delete the wife's number from the ex's phone?