Jokes Factory - Jokes Etc (8) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Jokes Factory (11908 Views)
Letter To Nepa & Sundry Jokes. . . / Chinese and Asian Jokes / Nigerian Jokes (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) ... (5) (6) (7) (8) (Reply) (Go Down)
| Re: Jokes Factory by Phate07(m): 2:30pm On Jul 29, 2011 |
Little grandson asked: "Granddaddy, when you were in the Army and were posted as sentry at night, were you afraid?" "I was, grand sonny, but only until I fell asleep." |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Phate07(m): 3:00pm On Jul 29, 2011 |
From A Mother With Love Dear Child, I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though. Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since. The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out. Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom. Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened. PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed. Your Loving Mom.  |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Phate07(m): 3:19pm On Jul 29, 2011 |
A blonde executive was driving by a field one day when she saw a blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a dirt field. She drove over to her and said, "It's idiots like you that give blondes a bad name, and if I could swim I would come over there and kick your ass!" |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Phate07(m): 3:27pm On Jul 29, 2011 |
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. So she went to a playground, grabbed a kid, and took him behind a tree. "I've kidnapped you!", said the blonde and then proceeded to write a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and place it under the pecan tree next to the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show his parents. The next morning the blonde checked under the tree and surely enough, a paper bad was sitting there. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?" |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Phate07(m): 3:39pm On Jul 29, 2011 |
A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it, Cop : "Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?" Blonde : "Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65." Cop : "Oh miss, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!" Blonde : "Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on." At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts. Cop : "Excuse me miss, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something awful." Blonde : "Oh, We just got off of highway 129" |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Phate07(m): 7:31am On Aug 01, 2011 |
 |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Phate07(m): 9:07am On Aug 01, 2011 |
Husband wanted to call the hospital to ask about his pregnant wife, but accidently called the cricket stadium. He asks, “How’s the situation?” He was shocked & nearly died on hearing the reply. They said, “It’s fine. 3 are out, hope to get another 7 out by lunch, last one was a duck!” |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Goldieluks: 9:38am On Aug 01, 2011 |
Lmao^^ was he drunk to have called the cricket club?? |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Phate07(m): 2:28pm On Aug 01, 2011 |
Goldieluks: He must have finished taking some strong drink. Maybe to overcome anxiety. And then dialed a wrong number. He should thank his stars he didn't call the funeral home.  |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Goldieluks: 2:35pm On Aug 02, 2011 |
hahahaha more jokes please. |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Pidzo(m): 3:27pm On Aug 02, 2011 |
Its fantastic, I am waiting for moreeee |
| Re: Jokes Factory by emofine(f): 6:26pm On Aug 02, 2011 |
One small boy called Ese returned home from school, after collecting his school report. The small guy don greet him Papa. Ese: Papa, I have good news for you! Papa: What is it son? abi you passed your exams? Ese: Even better. I have failed all my papers; Papa that means you would not have to offer me any funds to buy new books again  |
| Re: Jokes Factory by mikuz(m): 7:48pm On Aug 02, 2011 |
Lol |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Phate07(m): 10:40am On Aug 03, 2011 |
There were two nuns, One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical He wants to rape us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster. SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. ec96fed.gif Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives. SM: Sister Logical ! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! SL : The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then? SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And? SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me SM: Oh, dear! What did you do? SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL:The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down. |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Phate07(m): 10:42am On Aug 03, 2011 |
A worried father confronted his daughter one night. "I don't like that new boyfriend, he's rough and common and bloody stupid with it." "Oh no, Daddy," the daughter replied, "Fred's ever so clever, we've only been going out nine weeks and he's cured me of that illness I used to get once a month." |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Phate07(m): 10:45am On Aug 03, 2011 |
A student was asked 2 write a signboard 4 the traffic rules near da college campus He wrote:- “Drive Carefully! Don’t kill the students, wait for the Teachers” |
| Re: Jokes Factory by jokingmary(m): 10:46am On Aug 03, 2011 |
Nice jokes |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Phate07(m): 12:33pm On Aug 03, 2011 |
^^Thanks! |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Phate07(m): 12:43pm On Aug 03, 2011 |
The Lord Is My Shepherd (9ja Remix) The Lord na my shephard, i dey kampe. E make me sidon for where betta dey flow and come put me next to stream make mai bodi thermacool. E panel beat mai soul come spray am white, come dey lead me dey go through express road of righteousness sake of Him name. Walahi !, if I waka pass where arm robber, 419 and juju people boku, come even join okada reach valley of the shadow of death sef, mai bodi dey inside cloth. Your rod andstaff nko? Na so dem dey like back bone dey comfort me. You don prepare Egusi and Pounded yam make I chop. All mai enemies dey look waa waa. You rub me for head wit vaseline intensive lotion. Mai cup na River Niger wey overflow hin bank. True true, betta life and mercy go gum mai back till I quench. And man pikin go tanda for God house from lai lai to lai lai. GOD ALMIGTHY NA YOU BIKO AMEN. |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Goldieluks: 3:33pm On Aug 03, 2011 |
Phate07: Lmao,babe is preggie |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Phate07(m): 12:57pm On Aug 09, 2011 |
A school just employed a new English Teacher Student:Sir are you the new English teacher? Teacher Responds:Yes I are, |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Phate07(m): 5:16pm On Aug 10, 2011 |
GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD. PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that? GIRL: Well, he kissed me. PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this? The psychiatrist kissed the girl GIRL: , Yes! PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD. GIRL:But, he put his hand in my top. PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this? The psychiatrist put his hand in the girl's top GIRL:Yes! PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD. GIRL:But, he took my clothes off. PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this? The psychiatrist took off the girl's clothes GIRL:Yes! PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD. GIRL:But, he had sex with me! PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this? The psychiatrist had sex with the girl GIRL:.Yes! PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD. GIRL:But, then he told me he has AIDS. PSYCHIATRIST:BASTARDDDDDD!!!!! Rotflmao |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Ajibel(m): 5:40pm On Aug 10, 2011 |
roflmao, , i finally enjoyed a joke today, thumbs up phate07. |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Sophizzy(f): 3:54pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
Phate07: Ah! Oti O!!!  |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Kizyte(m): 3:56pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
| Very Funny! |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Kizyte(m): 4:09pm On Aug 11, 2011 |
There was this guy in the campus who was fond of putting two spoons on the table while eating, one for himself, and one for God. One day he did as usual. when he went to ease himself, a friend of his who knew his habit sneaked in and ate the food halfway. After eating, he covered the food as he met it and wrote on a piece of paper: "God has come and eating his own and gone away" When the guy returned, he was surprise to see his food half eaten, then he saw the note. After reading it, he knelt down and prayed: "God please say the truth and let the devil be put to shame". |
| Re: Jokes Factory by Nobody: 3:56pm On May 31, 2019 |
This is sublime work.  |
(1) (2) (3) ... (5) (6) (7) (8) (Reply)
Funniest Thing Ever - Please Help Me Stop Laughing! / The Funniest Collection Of Jokes (All Categories) By Naijacomedyclub / Guys, Will You Cancel The Wedding Because Of This?
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 43 |