One day Lil johnny came back home 4rm school and told his dad that he got suspended for 2 weeks, His dad angrily asked why and Johnny said "Dad, what's 2+3",
Dad: 5 of cos,
Johnny: And what's 3+2,
Dad: What's da fuckin difference,
Johnny: EXACTLY dad, dat's what I also said.

Lool.

Yea me likey,its funny.

Ok i concur.
am reading through yours,very funny.lol

An elderly woman went to her local doctor’s office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.”

Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Glenwood, but you’re 80 years old. What would you possibly need birth control pills for?”

The woman replied, “They help me sleep better.”

The doctor considered this for a second, and continued… “How in the world do birth control pills help you sleep?”

The woman said, “I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice, and I sleep better at night.”

Good jokes,am lolling at them.

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

hahahahaha^
five times a year.lol

Two cops were parked on the side of a busy highway waiting to nab individuals throwing litter out their car windows. One car drove by and threw out some garbage but the traffic was too thick to allow the cops an opportunity to pull out and haul the car over.

Another car drove by and it too tossed some garbage. Just as before, the traffic was too busy. Vehicles proceeded to pass by throwing garbage until finally the cops had an opening to pull over a car which had a guy and a girl in it. The police had the man back up to retrieve garbage, which turned out to be a used condom. One of the cops said, "You know there are huge fines for littering on this highway". To which the motorist replied with a satisfied look on his face, "that's not litter, it orgasmic material!"

Yea it is
keep posting.

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was, God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

Ok ,later.

Good to see this topic ressurected,i thought it was dead and gone!

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children
posed a problem.

The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.
After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied,
"Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out,
does the Coke belong to me or the machine?"

Four year Johnny is in the
surgery’s waiting room with his mom when he sees a pregnant lady sitting on a bench on the opposite wall. Having nothing better
to do, Joe saunters over to her and with wide eyes full of curiosity and asks “Why is your stomach so big?”

The lady calmly replies with a smile,
“Because I’m having a baby.” With eyes as large as saucers, Joe asks, “Is the baby in your tummy?”
“She sure is,” replies the lady charmed by the little kid’s innocent question.

“Is it a good baby,” asks Johnny with a puzzled look on his face.
“Oh, yes. I’m sure it’s a really good baby,” says the lady with good humor thinking how incredibly cute the little kid is and looking forward to what he might say next…

At this point much to her surprise, with an even more surprised and shocked look than before, Johnny asks, “Then why did you eat
her?”

@phate: I love these jokes, really

^^me too.

Waoh! Great jokes!