Timson01:
Hello NL,

Before I got married my husband said he needed 2 children while I wanted twins but our second pregnancy was twins so we had 3 instead. Then I took implant so to avoid getting pregnant again but my system became messed up that my monthly flow would last for 2 to 3 weeks.
So after 3 years I decided to remove it so to get back myself only for me to get pregnant instead and I found out when I was already 3 months gone and the pregnancy is causing me to be in so much pain that I can’t move at times making my husband do everything at home cause i’m always in bed
Now I discovered my husband is chatting another lady calling her babe and the rest although he assured me that he accepts this baby but I feel we are getting apart by the day.what do you suggest i do?
I can’t even have proper sex with him because my heart rate increases and I can’t move afterwards. Yes he was the one who took me to the hospital for removal we have been together for 11+years now
Just before I got pregnant I was having a lot of guys wooing me that my husband became very active in his affections towards me and it made me feel like I’m being courted again then this happened
The worst part is that I’m in physical pain. I can’t satisfy his desires. He even made me watch porn movies with him but I’m just too tired to respond to him. I have never been like this but I don’t know what to do
He has no parents as they pass away his senior brother just got married and always asks for marriage tips from us so saying this to him now I just can’t bring myself to do so.
Should I still keep the baby although I can’t bring myself to do anything to my child i just feel all this wouldn’t have come up if I didn’t get pregnant.

Anonymous NL Member

Quite a number of suggestions have been offered to you here.

Above all, get relaxed about your husband's chats with anybody. Your fears may even be unfounded.

Your utmost concern now should be your health. Get a hand to assist in domestic chores, not all men are domesticated unfortunately. I hope others reading this will learn and teach their boy children how to be useful at home. If the boys don't learn from age 1, they won't start when they get married, by then it's too late.

Please, avoid self medication, avoid unverified herbal treatments.

Communication is easy if we'll start it by calming down, appreciating your spouse for all the assistance and then tender your concerns genuinely. Somebody that makes love to you will not suddenly turn away from your concerns if you address your concern politely, painfully many of us are not taught the art of communication.

Also, avoid reporting him to anyone without trying what has been suggested above. It's only if all of these failed that 3rd party involvement can be considered.

I pray for you and your husband and the whole family that you will get over this in a very short time. You will also be able to handle your ego from preventing you from following these advices. God bless you.

Timson01:
Hello NL,

Before I got married my husband said he needed 2 children while I wanted twins but our second pregnancy was twins so we had 3 instead. Then I took implant so to avoid getting pregnant again but my system became messed up that my monthly flow would last for 2 to 3 weeks.
So after 3 years I decided to remove it so to get back myself only for me to get pregnant instead and I found out when I was already 3 months gone and the pregnancy is causing me to be in so much pain that I can’t move at times making my husband do everything at home cause i’m always in bed
Now I discovered my husband is chatting another lady calling her babe and the rest although he assured me that he accepts this baby but I feel we are getting apart by the day.what do you suggest i do?
I can’t even have proper sex with him because my heart rate increases and I can’t move afterwards. Yes he was the one who took me to the hospital for removal we have been together for 11+years now
Just before I got pregnant I was having a lot of guys wooing me that my husband became very active in his affections towards me and it made me feel like I’m being courted again then this happened
The worst part is that I’m in physical pain. I can’t satisfy his desires. He even made me watch porn movies with him but I’m just too tired to respond to him. I have never been like this but I don’t know what to do
He has no parents as they pass away his senior brother just got married and always asks for marriage tips from us so saying this to him now I just can’t bring myself to do so.
Should I still keep the baby although I can’t bring myself to do anything to my child i just feel all this wouldn’t have come up if I didn’t get pregnant.

Anonymous NL Member

This might be very difficult but if you try it it will help.
Buy a pack of condom, and give it to him.
Tell him u are aware of the babe but he should please not come back home with infections and that the discomfort you have with the pregnancy is the cos of you not having sex with him as you should and that he shouldnt forget he has an eleven years old marriage.
He will reset believe me

starbuck:
From your write up, you are trying to seek validation from us to either LovePeddler about, abort the innocent kid or leave your 11 year old marriage...


Stick dịa joor

Shuoo you bad oo

Madam leave the baby alone and concentrate on your health issue don't bother if your husband is seeing another lady or not, your health is very important than any other thing,and secondly may because it took you time to get another pregnant that why you are feeling that way so if your husband want to anything let him go ahead just advise him to use protection

MrPresident1:
Another stupid thread spits

I wonder o,the op moniker indicates male but na female de yan the matter

Vortex369:
You are married - check
You have kids - check
You are pregnant - check
You still feel you should be fuccking your husband even though you are pregnant - madness
You still feel insecure even when the man is pitying your condition and pains and wants a side chic to satisfy his urges, so you can rest - madness.

You want my advise?

You have all that you need, the side chic will not take the dickk away, focus on your preggy and the home and the man will always come back to you after safe delivery.

Your husband will cheat, always understand that, but he will not abandon you.

Point of correction Sir,
There is nothing wrong having sex while pregnant if your body can carry it, lots of pregnant women have sex ,infact some women feel very Hot while pregnant.
Not all men cheat do not generalize .
Thank You.

RisenPhoenix:
Naah. It's not falling apart. A man seeking solace in the arms of another woman when his wife defaults does not necessarily mean that he will abandon her. He will probably have his first affair, and when he has tasted it, will continue to have other affairs. But your marriage will probably not break up unless one of the women he has affairs with plots to steal him away; and which woman wants to marry a man with 4 kids? Anyway, if he is a good father, he will probably stay for the kids.Take heart.

A woman so sick from pregnancy and unable to have sex with the husband means she's defaulted


Jeeez

CHoccolaTE:
Nigerian women are really suffering in marriages o.
Just imagine if a man fell sick and couldn't provide or sexually satisfy his wife and she decided to flirt around because she needs attention. Nobody will ever advice the man to ignore her and focus on his health instead

Irony is that adultery is forbidden to both men and women but men are hypocrites that think cheating is their birthright. Why the hell must he flirt with another woman when he has a wife? Instead of being there for her and helping to nurse her back to health he is looking for love elsewhere.

You are a fool... You focused on the man flirting...and forgot the part she said other men were wooing her.

Is it because she didn't give the full story. She was probably dressing in a suggestive way that made them see her as ready to mingle even though she was married..also she was probably close to some of them and flirting with them too that they fancied their chancies of laying her. Not one man, but MEN.

As for your first paragraph. Women does same too. You guys only hide the traces as much as you can to always be seen as saints.

My dear go to any pharmacy and get (pregna care capsule UK brand) it will help u with all the vitamins and iron you need to be very strong..
When u r now strong tell ur husband u need a good long sex, make sure he bleeps u like 4 times in a week, do or die then during the process keep telling him what u saw in him that attracted you to marry him.
Once in a while u gist in the sitting room, ask him questions like why do married men cheat...
Be polite that u watched a movie and such thing happened and u r so happy your husband is not like other men.
Lastly don't confront him, cos if u do he will get more girls..... I wish u best

Bluffly:
It is well.
After my first child, my wife did implant and I observed that her blood flow during menstruation increased and like wise I don't enjoy sex because I always feel the implant in her always. After second birth, I did not permit my wife to do implant even when she wanted. For about 4 years before taking in again I use withdrawal and condom and it worked for me. I used this method because I don't want anything that will affect my wife hormones in anyway. I traded my extreme pleasure for my wife state of health.

This brings me to my worry why do husbands in most cases feel that birth control is just on the shoulders of their wife.

According to NIgerian men, the woman has to be responsible for the FP, if the one she does fails, its her fault, if she becomes fat as an effect its also her fault.

Most men wont agree to condom because of the pleasure.

Lots of selfish people out there.

Just so you know , abortion isn’t a crime nor something you should be scared or place too much value on, if you are leaning towards that, don’t let the stupid Nigerian morale talk you out of it , but if it will on its own bring other problems, then you can ignore it

Madam love yourself first o take care of yourself and leave the man if you like flirt God forbid if something bad happens to you that lady will replace you in less than 3 months

cejaypriesty:

Point of correction Sir,
There is nothing wrong having sex while pregnant if your body can carry it, lots of pregnant women have sex ,infact some women feel very Hot while pregnant.
Not all men cheat do not generalize .
Thank You.

'If your body can carry', her body can not carry.

Point of Correction: All men cheat, at a point in their life-time, if not, such man is abnormal. Marriage is a human-invented control mechanism which is long overdue for over-hauling.

Timson01:
Hello NL,

Before I got married my husband said he needed 2 children while I wanted twins but our second pregnancy was twins so we had 3 instead. Then I took implant so to avoid getting pregnant again but my system became messed up that my monthly flow would last for 2 to 3 weeks.
So after 3 years I decided to remove it so to get back myself only for me to get pregnant instead and I found out when I was already 3 months gone and the pregnancy is causing me to be in so much pain that I can’t move at times making my husband do everything at home cause i’m always in bed
Now I discovered my husband is chatting another lady calling her babe and the rest although he assured me that he accepts this baby but I feel we are getting apart by the day.what do you suggest i do?
I can’t even have proper sex with him because my heart rate increases and I can’t move afterwards. Yes he was the one who took me to the hospital for removal we have been together for 11+years now
Just before I got pregnant I was having a lot of guys wooing me that my husband became very active in his affections towards me and it made me feel like I’m being courted again then this happened
The worst part is that I’m in physical pain. I can’t satisfy his desires. He even made me watch porn movies with him but I’m just too tired to respond to him. I have never been like this but I don’t know what to do
He has no parents as they pass away his senior brother just got married and always asks for marriage tips from us so saying this to him now I just can’t bring myself to do so.
Should I still keep the baby although I can’t bring myself to do anything to my child i just feel all this wouldn’t have come up if I didn’t get pregnant.

Anonymous NL Member

Why not just see a gynaecologist for advice? No one here can help with the pain you're experiencing. What your hubby is doing doesn't also show he doesn't love you again, even though it's not healthy. He is just trying to jerk you up. But if you don't like it, tell him.

cococandy:
But he can bring aids and co home

I’m guessing being married is a price and such disrespect is nothing as long as she’s married.
Disgusting

Marriage has always been a prize for women. Except you are an hypocrite.

I dont make these things up. I study Reality.

Brice Price means the cost price of a Bride, in actually, it the price a woman is sold for.
Taking up a man's name is called Change of Title, when you buy an item, you change the name to yours, so the man owns that woman.
For better for worse means, you have been bought and must remain with your owner.
In every culture, cost price is returned if an item is no longer needed, same is done when a woman is no more needed, I dont make these things up.

Every married woman is owned, by the buyer.

To stop this apparent selling of humans, end Bride Price or Abrogate Marriage so every one can fucck their lovers.

You fuckedup baby.. Why the implant,

Just before I got pregnant I was having a lot of guys wooing me that my husband became very active in his affections towards me and it made me feel like I’m being courted again then this happened

Wait, did anyone else see this? Oh, just me? Okay, carry on then.

starbuck:
From your write up, you are trying to seek validation from us to either LovePeddler about, abort the innocent kid or leave your 11 year old marriage...


Stick dịa joor

Ah, finally, someone with eyes

I think you should have a discussion with your husband.

He should be more understanding.

NoToPile:



A woman so sick from pregnancy and unable to have sex with the husband means she's defaulted


Jeeez

Defaults means unable or incapable of doing her sexual duty. It is not necessarily an accusation or proof of guilt. She could default through no fault of hers.

Having said that, I should point out that personally, I am not so convinced of the authenticity of the 'pregnancy sicknesses' that women always complain about. If it was true that women get sick and have uncontrollable cravings during pregnancy, how come teenagers with unwanted pregnancies and women who want to hide their pregnancies never seem to have this 'sickness'?

Viking007:


The way Nigerians threaten you with death whenever abortion is mentioned enh!

Do you realize how far she is in her pregnancy?.... and how well she is doing?...and how professional are the health care workers?

you have done nothing wrong and I don't think he we will divorce you... you guys can have a deep discussion

Onyi22:

Sharrrap there, what's the difference between u and the husband we are taking about?
Men are polygamous in Nature

Difference! Trillions. You can say 90% are polygamous in nature. I'm among the remaiming 10% .My woman can testify,My peers can testify as well..

RisenPhoenix:


Defaults means unable or incapable of doing her sexual duty. It is not necessarily an accusation or proof of guilt. She could default through no fault of hers.

Having said that, I should point out that personally,[b] I am not so convinced of the authenticity of the 'pregnancy sicknesses' that women always complain about. If it was true that women get sick and have uncontrollable cravings during pregnancy, how come teenagers with unwanted pregnancies and women who want to hide their pregnancies never seem to have this 'sickness'? [b]

I now get your point, but still doesn't mean the hubby should go around flirting.


You just need to be around a woman that has this 'pregnancy sickness' to be convinced.

Let me just break it down every pregnancy is different, not all women are always sick to this point, some are sick throughout the pregnancy, some are sick the first few months and are very strong the latter part some are sick their first pregnancy only, some become sick with the 2nd pregnancy, some will be on bedrest while some will be strong throughout the pregnancy period, some will even have to resign from their jobs (yeah it can be that bad). It doesnt make one better than the other its just the way their bodies react to that pregnancy.

CHoccolaTE:
Nigerian women are really suffering in marriages o.
Just imagine if a man fell sick and couldn't provide or sexually satisfy his wife and she decided to flirt around because she needs attention. Nobody will ever advice the man to ignore her and focus on his health instead

Irony is that adultery is forbidden to both men and women but men are hypocrites that think cheating is their birthright. Why the hell must he flirt with another woman when he has a wife? Instead of being there for her and helping to nurse her back to health he is looking for love elsewhere.

When you are ready to face the reality of the world. Eternal peace won't be a far-fetched commodity.

Awon set Equal right.

Vortex369:


Marriage has always been a prize for women. Except you are an hypocrite.

I dont make these things up. I study Reality.

Brice Price means the cost price of a Bride, in actually, it the price a woman is sold for.
Taking up a man's name is called Change of Title, when you buy an item, you change the name to yours, so the man owns that woman.
For better for worse means, you have been bought and must remain with your owner.
In every culture, cost price is returned if an item is no longer needed, same is done when a woman is no more needed, I dont make these things up.

Every married woman is owned, by the buyer.

To stop this apparent selling of humans, end Bride Price or Abrogate Marriage so every one can fucck their lovers.

I hope you are one of the disciples of Linda Ikeji that won't practice what they preach.

Its better for you if you blah blah online and submit at home to your husband.

That is wisdom my dear.

Try using a Nystatin insert, the pains will stop. Then go see a Gynaecologist. Pray it's not appendicitis in pregnancy.

jy2kbeyond:


I hope you are one of the disciples of Linda Ikeji that won't practice what they preach.

Its better for you if you blah blah online and submit at home to your husband.

That is wisdom my dear.

You are taking it personal. And I wish you know that I am made of steel.

Cos of husband u want to remove your baby that might be the only one who will stand to wipe tears off your face. Odiegwu. A man that might still leave or cheat on u regardless of whether you abort or not. Hanty borrow sense.

NoToPile:



I now get your point, but still doesn't mean the hubby should go around flirting.


You just need to be around a woman that has this 'pregnancy sickness' to be convinced.

Let me just break it down every pregnancy is different, not all women are always sick to this point, some are sick throughout the pregnancy, some are sick the first few months and are very strong the latter part some are sick their first pregnancy only, some become sick with the 2nd pregnancy, some will be on bedrest while some will be strong throughout the pregnancy period, some will even have to resign from their jobs (yeah it can be that bad). It doesnt make one better than the other its just the way their bodies react to that pregnancy.

I am not saying he SHOULD, but she should understand his position and close eye. Or how do you want the hubby to satisfy his sexual needs?

Acknowledged that people's bodies are different. It just seems so much beyond the laws of probability that women who want to hide their pregnancies NEVER feel sick and NEVER have cravings. Now how do we explain that? If the sickness was so unbearable and so serious, how come those ones bear it so successfully (assuming they get it at all)?

RisenPhoenix:


I am not saying he SHOULD, but[b] she should understand his position and close eye.[/b] Or how do you want the hubby to satisfy his sexual needs?

Acknowledged that people's bodies are different. It just seems so much beyond the laws of probability that women who want to hide their pregnancies NEVER feel sick and NEVER have cravings. Now how do we explain that? If the sickness was so unbearable and so serious, how come those ones bear it so successfully (assuming they get it at all)?

Nope she should'nt understand and close eye, He should endure instead.

Loool, you have a point there. I will just assume they dont get it at all.

NoToPile:



Nope she should'nt understand and close eye, He should endure instead.

Why punish oneself? Personally, I would have suggested that he marries a second wife; I am a proponent of going back to our ancestral methods of polygamy; but it is likely that she will prefer that he maintains a mistress instead. Many women prefer that their husband plays around than that he marries multiple wives.