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Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? - Romance - Nairaland

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Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Nyeks: 9:34am On Jan 20, 2020
I had a funny experience some time last year. I dated a lady who suggested we break up as she felt we were not compatible as lovers.
The relationship started in 2009, but it was off and on due to distance and some other factors. We became serious in 2016/2017 and everything was going on smoothly till she went for National Youth Service (NYSC) and things became sour again. We had a fight which was all her fault, she couldn't apologize for more than two months. I kept my cool and decided I let her be since she is full of pride. The third month after the fight, she sent me a long SMS admitting she caused me pains bla bla and that she has decided we call it quit since we are not compatible but we can be friends instead of lovers. I didnt reply the message as it was not necessary since I had already moved on from my ends too.
Fast forward to 2018, she found her way back again through chats, we remained friends like she suggested and we were going on smoothly to the point that i started helping her search for jobs, she got one via me but something happened along the line and she lost the job. She was coming around once in a while, I saw that she has seen how difficult job hunting is and the struggle for survival is not an easy task like she thought while in school. She became loyal yet the pride of a woman never let her ignite a new fire in us. I guessed she wanted us back, but since she was the one that initiated the break up, I told myself that I will never start up a discussion on relationship. Within that period, I found another lady who was willing to start on a humble ground with me. I never let her know about my new found love, there was no sign of me dating on social media or so. I broke the news to her few days before I posted my pre wedding photos on Facebook and WhatsApp and she pretended she was cool.
The wedding came and gone, my so called friend didnt send a congratulatory message, no comment on my Facebook page, she avoided all my wedding photos like a plague. Few days ago, my first child came, I sent her SMS, my so called friend still couldn't say ordinary congrats. I kept wondering if she never meant the break message she sent to me back then, cos why is she this bitter?. shocked

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Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Davash222(m): 9:35am On Jan 20, 2020
You claimed you've moved on, why then are you disturbing the lady
Why telling her everything about your life? You're just acting like a kid. You just want to make her feel jealous unnecessarily. Grow up and let her be!!!

24 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Nyeks: 9:41am On Jan 20, 2020
Davash222:
You claimed you've moved on, why then are you disturbing the lady
Why telling her everything about your life? You're just acting like a kid. You just want to make her feel jealous unnecessarily. Grow up and let her be!!!
Read the post carefully, we didn't throw blows at each other. We were in contact not on romantic ground but as old time friends. Sharing your moment of joy with old friends isn't a crime. At the bolded, are you saying I should have not told her about my wedding? Or I should have excluded her from the bulk sms i sent?

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Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by pocohantas(f): 9:43am On Jan 20, 2020
Nyeks:
Read the post carefully, we didn't throw blows at each other. We were in contact not on romantic ground but as old time friend. Sharing your moment of joy with old friends isnt a crime.

Uncle, focus on your wife and kids. Leave her bitterness for her next/current bf.

I don't know why some Naija guys are obsessed with the relationship status of their EXes. Especially when they marry first. Face your wife!

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Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Nyeks: 9:46am On Jan 20, 2020
pocohantas:


Uncle, focus on your wife and kids. Leave her bitterness alone her next/current bf.

I don't know why some Naija guys are obsessed with the relationship status of their EXes. Especially when they marry first. Face your wife!
Madam we are not obsessed, exes are not enemies and shouldn't act as though there is a war.

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Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Davash222(m): 9:49am On Jan 20, 2020
Nyeks:
Read the post carefully, we didn't throw blows at each other. We were in contact not on romantic ground but as old time friend. Sharing your moment of joy with old friends isnt a crime. At the bolded, are you saying I should have not told her about wedding? Or I shoulf have excluded her from the bulk sms i sent?
Leave her alone!

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Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by pocohantas(f): 9:54am On Jan 20, 2020
Nyeks:
Madam we are not obsessed, exes are not enemies and shouldn't act as though there is a war.


Check it, someone's father and the head of a home. You didn't create a thread to ask for how to make your wife's life easier, your problem is the EX that isn't checking your pictures or replying messages?

Yet you say EXes are not enemies?

Since EXes are not enemies, would you be glad to find out your wife's own is keeping in touch?

Please, no dey deceive yourself.

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Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by samdavjustin(m): 9:59am On Jan 20, 2020
Why are u still friends with your ex even after marriage and a kid, if your wife did same would you be fine with it? Anyways it doesn’t really matter if she meant the breakup text or not unless you want to cheat on your wife, so stop think about and give her a chance to have a husband

1 Like

Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Nyeks: 10:01am On Jan 20, 2020
pocohantas:



Check it, someone's father and the head of a home. You didn't create a thread to ask for how to make your wife's life easier, your problem is the EX that isn't checking your pictures or replying messages?

Yet you say EXes are not enemies?

Since EXes are not enemies, would you be glad to find out your wife's own is keeping in touch?

Please, no dey deceive yourself.


See your life. Madam, rejoice with those who are rejoicing, mourn with those who are mourning. I never mentioned anywhere in the post that she ain't checking my pictures or so. We all congratulates friends on our contact on social media when they celebrate, so there is no big deal there, whether ex or not. And for my wify, her ex called to congratulate her and there was no issue about that.

3 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Nobody: 10:05am On Jan 20, 2020
Davash222:
You claimed you've moved on, why then are you disturbing the lady
Why telling her everything about your life? You're just acting like a kid. You just want to make her feel jealous unnecessarily. Grow up and let her be!!!
she asked to still be friend according to the post

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Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by pocohantas(f): 10:07am On Jan 20, 2020
Nyeks:
See your life. I never mentioned anywhere in the post that she ain't checking my pictures or so.

"The wedding came and gone, my so called friend didnt send a congratulatory message, no comment on my Facebook page, she avoided all my wedding photos like a plague."

You won't rest till you get what you seek.

4 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by AfroKnight: 10:12am On Jan 20, 2020
cheesy cheesy grin grin

Congratulations bro. Forget that your marlian ex-girlfriend. She is a she-goat and an enemy of progress.

Avoid her if you know what’s good for you and your family. Women cannot take the bullshît they give us. They keep talking about the ego of men but they have bigger egos that could be accompanied with violent reactions. They can’t handle rejection. So you’d better avoid her.

Let us drink.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Davash222(m): 10:14am On Jan 20, 2020
The thing is, you still have a soft spot for your ex even after getting married with a child that you have to create a thread seeking for advice.
An Ex is an Example of what we don't need again, but it seems you need her more than you need your wife.

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Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Nyeks: 11:13am On Jan 20, 2020
pocohantas:


[b]"The wedding came and gone, my so called friend didnt send a congratulatory message, [color=#990000]no comment on my Facebook page, she avoided all my wedding photos like a plague

You won't rest till you get what you seek.
that was the moment of joy that any free and clean hearted person join others to celebrate.

1 Like

Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Nyeks: 11:18am On Jan 20, 2020
AfroKnight:
cheesy cheesy grin grin

Congratulations bro. Forget that your marlian girlfriend. She is a she-goat and an enemy of progress.

Avoid her if you know what’s good for you and your family. Women cannot take the bullshît they give us. They keep talking about the ego of men but they have bigger egos that could be accompanied with violent reactions. They can’t handle rejection. So you’d better avoid her.

Let us drink.
God bless you bro.

3 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Nyeks: 11:20am On Jan 20, 2020
Davash222:
The thing is, you still have a soft spot for your ex even after getting married with a child that you have to create a thread seeking for advice.
An Ex is an Example of what we don't need again, but it seems you need her more than you need your wife.
Kindly mention the point that talked about advice in the post. I only asked a question. Soft spot wetin?
Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Nyeks: 11:22am On Jan 20, 2020
Lostz:
she asked to still be friend according to the post
Don't mind him or her, they won't read carefully before jumping into conclusion.
Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Nyeks: 11:28am On Jan 20, 2020
samdavjustin:
Why are u still friends with your ex even after marriage and a kid, if your wife did same would you be fine with it? Anyways it doesn’t really matter if she meant the breakup text or not unless you want to cheat on your wife, so stop think about and give her a chance to have a husband
Read and digest a post well before rushing to comment. I never said we are in contact or seeing each other as friends in the post. I only sent bulk SMS to my contacts and as an old friend I thought a free hearted person should be happy for you when you are happy nothing more. If I were the one, I would definitely congratulate her.
Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Heloct(f): 11:30am On Jan 20, 2020
Stop sending her pictures and messages pls.



She's still kind of emotionally attached to you and she's handling it well by snubbing you but you keep pricking her.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Ab025(m): 11:41am On Jan 20, 2020
@Poster..... what is your problem?
Cant you face your wife and family?
Why disturbing a single lady to be friends with you?
Is it by force?

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Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Ab025(m): 11:44am On Jan 20, 2020
Nyeks:
Read and digest a post well before rushing to comment. I never said we are in contact or seeing each other as friends in the post. I only sent bulk SMS to my contacts and as an old friend I thought a free hearted person should be happy for you when you are happy nothing more. If I were the one, I would definitely congratulate her.

She has shown you in many ways that she is not comfortable to be friends with you again... respect yourself na and let her be.....be matured pls!

5 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by bayodele73(m): 11:56am On Jan 20, 2020
Nyeks:
Read the post carefully, we didn't throw blows at each other. We were in contact not on romantic ground but as old time friend. Sharing your moment of joy with old friends isnt a crime. At the bolded, are you saying I should have not told her about wedding? Or I shoulf have excluded her from the bulk sms i sent?
Oga learn to keep shut...so if you give out stuffs, you always want a thank you in return...Let her be,

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by PrimadonnaO(f): 12:05pm On Jan 20, 2020
Someone I dated sent me his baby's pictures once... and pretended it was a mistake. LOL. But baby boy's so fine! I really was happy seeing the child. Once you genuinely care for someone, you'll be happy with whatever good thing that's happening in their lives...


But you, dear OP, are gloating. Plus you have no right to expect her to react in a certain kind of way. Not everyone takes things the same way. So, move on with your life, and stop throwing your dealings in her face.

Plus... you think she's single. You have no idea what she'll become... or the kind of man she'll marry tomorrow. So, biko, leave her alone, inuru?

2 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Bola146(f): 12:17pm On Jan 20, 2020
Davash222:
You claimed you've moved on, why then are you disturbing the lady
Why telling her everything about your life? You're just acting like a kid. You just want to make her feel jealous unnecessarily. Grow up and let her be!!!

A kid indeed... I hope he is satisfied with the new one sad
Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Nickymezor(f): 12:17pm On Jan 20, 2020
OP, let her be biko, its her choice finally not to.
Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Charleys: 12:31pm On Jan 20, 2020
Oga keep sending pictures to her.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by frubben(m): 12:37pm On Jan 20, 2020
Nyeks:
See your life. Madam, rejoice with those who are rejoicing, mourn with those who are mourning. I never mentioned anywhere in the post that she ain't checking my pictures or so. We all congratulates friends on our contact on social media when they celebrate, so there is no big deal there, whether ex or not. And for my wify, her ex called to congratulate her and there was no issue about that.
oga wats the problem actually. Why do you need our help. I no understand?
Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Barzinime(m): 12:42pm On Jan 20, 2020
Nobody gives a fvck about your life.
Nobody asked you to post your life on social media, so let the girl be, you just want the poor girl to be filled with regrets and its hurting(e dey pain) cos she ignored you and your mission didnt go as planned angry angry angry .
Nyeks:
See your life. Madam, rejoice with those who are rejoicing, mourn with those who are mourning. I never mentioned anywhere in the post that she ain't checking my pictures or so. We all congratulates friends on our contact on social media when they celebrate, so there is no big deal there, whether ex or not. And for my wify, her ex called to congratulate her and there was no issue about that.

6 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by vincentjk(m): 12:59pm On Jan 20, 2020
You're my type of person OP, always trying to make your ex know what they've missed grin

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Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by sosospence(m): 1:19pm On Jan 20, 2020
pocohantas:


Uncle, focus on your wife and kids. Leave her bitterness for her next/current bf.

I don't know why some Naija guys are obsessed with the relationship status of their EXes. Especially [/b]when they marry first.[b] Face your wife!
Vice Versa.Not only for the guys but the girls too.

2 Likes

Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Bola146(f): 1:43pm On Jan 20, 2020
Ab025:
@Poster..... what is your problem? Cant you face your wife and family? Why disturbing a single lady to be friends with you? Is it by force?
I wonder ooo,
Re: Why Are Some Ladies So Confused About Making Decision On Who To Marry? by Nyeks: 2:36pm On Jan 20, 2020
frubben:
oga wats the problem actually. Why do you need our help. I no understand?
Where in the post is help mentioned?

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