fatymore:


Stubborn

Hei my friend

Brandonx:
None mine was never around except Saturdays and Sundays. She passed on when I was aged 11.

Sorry about that man. sense you still miss her dearly.

m140:
Inserting stride of broom in my younger brothers pennis while he was sleep, then I do it to myself too, most times with super glue pins then, the beating pass make dem burn person alive that day.

Guy you don mad ni. what the ffffffff !

Papanwamaikpe:
Hei my friend

how are you?

[quote author=makydebbie post=86731646]Microwaving my bra, no be small beating I chop that day.
A week later the microwave spoilt, part two beating followed. [/quote
U wan shrink the bra? Lol! ����

makydebbie:
Microwaving my bra, no be small beating I chop that day.
A week later the microwave spoilt, part two beating followed.

Are you serious? Like you did that?

LMAOOOOO how long ago did this happen bro ?

Savagedan:
I been caught countless times in the act by Momma, not until local man was fully grown and was in the higher institution already. So had to go home from school Cos I wasn’t feeling good, Cos I won’t go home even for holidays and I needed a very good treatment as it was more than what I imagined. During one of the days of my stay at home, went out as early as possible to do some baking and got enough stash on my way back home. I ate and had to do some updates on the PC then Local man wasn’t thinking straight and things seemed confusing so I needed to reset and come back on track. Local man was tired of having to walk miles down the street before I can bake so I just rolled up a blunt, opened both windows, rolled up the blind, switched on the fan to the highest number and lit up 9-9, closed the door � and used my cloths and towel to block all the outlets ontop and underneath and the side of the door. Local man lit up and started burning trees in my room under my POPS roof, as it wasn’t my first time doing this though, but only during odd times of the day like when Folks and siblings are asleep. The local man was coming back on track and everything seem interesting on the PC and suddenly I heard my name aloud and someone trying to force my door open like an intruder. As my room felt like heaven at that moment I was on cloud 9 I dashed to the door to push back resisting momma from gaining access into the trap room lol. She stared shouting MY HAND OOO MY HAND OOO OWO MI OWO MI, for my mind scam. But her hand was really stuck then I slightly opened it a little for her to take her finger out, and said I’m sorry ma you can’t come in now , she said why that she wants to see me and I said I’m busy right now as I’m naked(you sha won’t bash into my room hearing that I’m fully naked), she left and I treated the room . I had enough air fresheners in my room that on a normal day when she comes into my room she was just curious why a normal person would have that much air fresheners of different brands. Local man went back to the lungu to smoke off all the shit that happened, as I don’t even have to worry even I knew I was caught red handed so when I returned back into my room she came along after a few minutes and was I like YOU KNOW WHEN I HAVE CATTARH I CANT PERCEIVE THINGS WELL BUT I PERCEIVED THIS WELL ENOUGH THAT YOU WERE SMOKING, my gf often tells me that after all my names my folks should have added Linus to my name lol. I denied it ASAP and was like what do you mean by that did you see me doing anything ? Then the story continues O MA LORI LAYA OO( you have a very bold mind) EVEN HAD TO DO IT UNDER MY POPS ROOF WITHOUT HAVING ANY FEAR OF THEM, she continued VERY EARLY IN THE MORNING, ARE YOU REALLY THAT ADDICTED ? then she started referring to other landlord kids in the area that EVEN AS OLD AS LAGBAJA IS HE HAS NEVER DONE THAT OR CANT DO THAT UNDER HIS FATHERS ROOF, OR HAVE YOU EVER SMELT IT COMING FROM THE OTHER COMPUND ? I’m tired of typing and if you wanna know my whole story we can get to know each other more and better as experience is the best teacher, I was spanked only words of advice my fear was that pops mustn’t hear of this even if he’s heard of other incidents lol. No time to cross check pardon my typos as I gotta fix other things I don’t really post I only read comments but this thread got me so I just have to write one of my so many experiences

fatymore:
how are you?

Fine oh! Happy belated valentine

Stealing meat from the pot.

Lolabisi007s:
Playing with myself she just looked at me and I saw the look on her face she was disappointed in me I apologize to her and promise won’t repeat such ever again

But you know you are not keeping that promise, you still do it

makydebbie:


Ah!? You have hair pass me oo
I'm sorry ma.
No wail dear it'll grow back but looks like I'm now ahead of you so I happy small.

My village people dem no want the hair to grow well. I know if I thread my hair for 6 months straight everything will grow back. For now I will carry my short hair around like that

As for your hair, don't worry, my village people will reason with your village people very soon

I swear.
It was just a wet bra I needed dry because I didn't have another one. And desperate times calls for desparate measures.

You could have simply ironed it, but then again excess heat can slacken the elastic bands.

@BarrElChapo just around July-August 2018 I think.

Bishop4bella:
It happened immediately we came back from school bcoz St. Anthony Cath. High Sch don't allow student to use phone.

Mum: Dele where is ur phone?

Me: Inside my wine Ankara pocket on the hanger

Mum: Dele what this in ur pocket (condom) holding condom in her hand?

Me: as sharp guy full of lies. I replied is for broda Jide (son to our landlord)

Mum: Ur dad must see this.

Saint Anthony Catholic High school IJOFI ilesha... What set?

Papanwamaikpe:
Fine oh! Happy belated valentine

Did you send gift?

Slawormir:
Damnnnnn niggarrr

She Caught me smoking weed
Na so she go report to my elder sister o
I nor send. She even report to my daddy join
Na so my daddy begin dey vex
They talk any how say me na disgrace

For my mind i nor send una
all these one when all of una just dey vex and form holier than thou so You go surprise ehnnn when my daddy dey small na so he smoke weed anyhow

Because assuming say my daddy or mummy nor smoke weed when them young how come he be say when i smoke weed for the very first time the thing nor do me anything instead the weed make me hungry

And the law of weed says if you smoke am the first time and the weed nor shake you but make you hungry then know say your biological father don first smoke am before

Damnnnnn niggarrr

That means your dad was a real niggar back in the days

they chop life, chop better women raw, drag correct unadulterated weed

a real gee, real flexing before this era, twice in the 80s, and 90s

She saw all the love letters and photos of my girlfriend. I was back from evening lesson then, ate my dinner and was reading with the lamp then. Na so the woman burst enter palor when i dey read ooo, omo no be small oo. You won give person belle abi? So na the school when we send you go be that? As she dey talk na so she drop all the love letters and poems, photos for table, Oboy na so I start confess oo I didn't touch her ooo, we have not don any thing ooo, immediately popcy interrupted and ended the talk. The woman was listening to know more, when I became I man, then I understood why popcy interrupted my confession ���

[quote author=Sanchez01 post=86731412] Stealing from the pot! Crazy

I think the year was 1995 or so. She had just prepared this crazy Turkey stew with Ewedu. As was her usual practice, she had already diced 'our size' and having laboured so hard that day to see the soup come alive (I grinded the pepper on a stone), she served us and I was terribly disappointed in the meat. It looked so tiny that I ate with rage that afternoon.

While eating, I was scheming on how to get even and be satisfied. She noticed how displeased I was but pretended and went about her business. When I noticed she had gone to the bathroom to bathe, I went for the soup in the wooden cupboard it was kept in, brought it down from the compartment, opened it and started looking around for a spoon but found none. I returned to the pot of soup which had massive meats everywhere in it and dipped my hand into it to take one big turkey meat.

The burn was crazy but my sheer determination to succeed made me immune to the pain. After combing for seconds I grabbed what I thought was the biggest and as I took it out, I heard a voice like God spoke to Samuel; 'take it out and you're dead'. Looked up and saw my mum stand over me with a towel on her shoulder and water dripping from her body.

I forced a smile and explained that I was washing the turkey. She was mad. Before she turned to do whatever, I bolted out of the house, but remained in the compound while I mainted over 20m distance.

I thought she'd run after me that day but she never did and that was when this cool breeze blew my way. The feeling of rage I earlier had had been replaced with regret and self pity.

Anyways, I stayed out till about 8pm from that afternoon before she invited me inside to sleep in a cool, calm tone I totally believed. How foolish.

I proceeded with caution and slept with one eyes open for about an hour before another voice called out to me to wake up. The time was around 2am at this point and there she was, standing over me again with her dreaded cane. I swallowed spit and thought 'this is it, the end of the world'.
Tales by moonlight

fatymore:


Did you send gift?

To who

CarlosTheJackal:
My mum caught me having sex with my neighbor kid. I was 3 yr old then and the beating still resonates till now

hmm carlos the jackal Frm the bourne supremacy
cain is for delta and carlos is for cain
....cain is for delta!delta one is cain!medusa moves:the snake shed its skin.cain is in paris and carlos will be his

i cnt forget that line

Ishilove:

My village people dem no want the hair to grow well. I know if I thread my hair for 6 months straight everything will grow back. For now I will carry my short hair around like that

As for your hair, don't worry, my village people will reason with your village people very soon


You could have simply ironed it, but then again excess heat can slacken the elastic bands.

I beg I beg, the way I don't want them to know my address in Accra. Ema binu ma, no Vess, I'll cut my hair like yours.


I didn't even think of the iron, it was just the microwave lol.

makydebbie:

Lol, I no dey reply pms.

And how did you plan to show me the egg fried with microwave

Ishilove:
Sharpwriter!

Ki lo se yin ma? ... Shey I lie ni?

It happened that our neighbour's daughter who happened to be my buddy had to sleep over in our house, my mum caught us trying to have sex..My touser was down and she was about removing her pants and i felt a spank on my bare ass....I was about 11 and she was like 10..I still ask myself what would have become of me if i had sex with her that night..I gues i will never know..

makydebbie:
Microwaving my bra, no be small beating I chop that day.
A week later the microwave spoilt, part two beating followed.

Can you please explain the significance of microwaving bra...or you washed it wanted a quick drying service?

The Sunday afternoon I won't forget...

We came back from church, prepared pounded-yam as usual with efo-riro and dried-fish. There's this aroma of well-cooked dried-fish I couldn't resist as a young boy(like 10yrs).
Despite the long sermon of our pastor on the fateful Sunday, I disappointed mum. We finished eating and we moved to the open space in front of the house to play football but Sheiton kept bringing the aroma of the dried-fish to me. I was determined, I rushed in after announcing to my siblings I needed water. Thought Mama was sleeping, I never knew she heard when I announced water story.
Immediately I entered kitchen, I headed straight to the pot, opened it and tried to lift the bait 'Ehn, Olohun mu e' was the next thing I heard. I never knew the Tough Woman was behind me. I knew I was dead.

She beat the hell outta my knotty head that day,...

I primised her I wouldn't do that again following the designs she gave my insatiable skin

#lol

Stealing of a joint own #100 note... Shai, that beating is still very fresh in my memory

It was on a Saturday morning after clean up and breakfast, my mom came to our room (My older bro and I shared a room). She saw my wallet on the table and jokingly asked how many million was in my wallet and she opened in and found condom inside. How could I have forgotten. Funny part is, I was yet to have sex, I just took one from my brother who was very active. She just closed it and quietly left. Ladies and Gentlemen, Two days later, I got the preaching of my life. I swear, I'd have preferred to be flogged instead of listening to her talk about sin and youths indulging in fornication.

Second time was when I was in the living room, watching this movie "Notorious" (Movie biography of Notorious BIG). I was watching where Biggie was being F'd by Lil Kim and was so carried away that I didn't notice her standing few meters away from the TV and then she called out my name......Well, let the embarrassment stay where it is, I don't have strength abeg

Lighthammer:

hmm carlos the jackal Frm the bourne supremacy
cain is for delta and carlos is for cain
....cain is for delta!delta one is cain!medusa moves:the snake shed its skin.cain is in paris and carlos will be his

i cnt forget that line

one of my best novel

Dancing � �

olumydhe:


one of my best novel

yes o bro even as am typing nw,am with the novel

Momma thought her little cutie was holy until she caught me with mary jane
Damn it was hard to fuxking process that day

Caught me sucking and massaging Juliet boobs.
Funny enough mom and Juliet's mom are not in good terms.