andycom:


Let me even ask you, if as a married man and your wife monitors your movements will you like it? Capital NO. But you're advising her to do it to another person abi?

Lemme now tell you that I am still single and my girlfriend monitors me even with thousands of calls....
There's nothing wrong when you monitor your spouse and call him/her to your attention if taking wrong steps or moves
Her choice anyway

The average Nigerian needs counseling. Reading comments from crazy people will not help your own craze I swear. Many of una here dem no suppose dey allow una touch phone

bukatyne:


So in essence, she should live a long marriage of what she doesn't like till he gets old.

And you begin to wonder the lure of Nigerian marriage for the average earning woman.

the world does not rotate around her ass.. the hubby likes night life, she doesn't, so either she chill or get out.
the lure of marriage comes to any mentally balanced woman naturally, am sure you have heard madam alakija, one of the richest women in Africa, till today she lives with her husband and children, and you are here wondering why an AVERAGE EARNING woman should get married.... u need help!

ezenwajosh:


That's not what marriage is supposed to be

Its supposed to be fun not waiting on old age to calm her husband

I think the man is now having bad friends or influence.... Or maybe being out of job is frustrating him

STOP MARRYING A GUY BECAUSE HES CALM, LOVING AND A GOOD GUY

TAKE YOU TIME FIND A BEST FRIEND AND MARRY....MARRY YOUR BUDDY

That is the simple truth, she made a mistake, if don't like alcohol, never u marry a drunk. in this case i don't see anything wrong if she follows him to his night crawling activities.

EVILFOREST:

U are not FAR from the TRUTH.
A MAN rarely runs away from an INTELLIGENT DISCUSSION.
Don't be shocked to hear that she competes with the same HUSBAND for T. V. REMOTE

All this theory without prove, there are many men that run away from intelligent discussion infact hate it.

Brunicekid:
I won't totally agree on this with you on this. Attitude build-up from young age, and let me say this bluntly: If the wife does not take conscious persistent effort to sit her husband down and advice him. Am sorry to say, he might get used to it even till many years to come.

you tink an attitude that has built up over donkey years can just go away over a mere talk? such attitudes or character changes comes with physical and emotional maturity, just like nobody tells anybody to cut down or eliminate sugar when diabetes sets in.

PatrioticNaija:
You don't nag, but you're putting up your husband on Nairaland for public discussions... you may as well crawl out with him

This is faceless forum. A lots of people had done that and received best advices. Many would also share their own experiences to let the op know that she's not alone. Seeking advice from Nairaland is not bad.

femi4:
He's idle ...get him a job asap. You cant be outside till 12am when you know you have to be at work later in the day

Are you sure this one is ready to work again, he might have developed aversion for work

bigiyaro:
madam, just focus on your children, old age will calm him down.

That's just it..... He will come to his senses soon

Bugatie:


Just what if this man only hangs out with friends and doesnt engage in all you wrote there, imagine the seed you have planted in this young ladies head.

Thats why I dont support all this online request for hope because you'll end up leaving with bigger problems.

@op, I'll advise you engage him in a heart to heart talk, not as he comes back from his night crawl but in the morning, remind him of the dangers of keeping late night, safety issues and how much the kids stay awake to see him, etc. If he's the reasonable type, I'm sure he will change.

Be careful of the advise you take from here especially the ones suggesting hotels and prostitutes.

#Peace.

Lol. Where would he be? May be with another man in his own home with his wife and kids?
Irresponsibility is not that difficult to spot unless we decide to deliberately turn blind eye to it. There's no way you would be staying outside till 12am most of the time and you would be in places where responsible men are supposed to be. The question is: what is such man or woman doing outside and in such places in those ungodly hours?

bigiyaro:
madam, just focus on your children, old age will calm him down.

If this was a man saying this about his wife, I hope you would give him this same advice you're giving her ..

talk to his good friends about it and then try and connect him with someone u know at your place work for job


I'm sure na depression change his psychological trait

Tallesty1:
The way some of you jump to conclusions is just annoying.

Heistman:
[b]common! This is pure nonsense, were u dia tracking his movement for u to have concluded he's irresponsible and fucking around? ,you're a big fool sir

He narrated the story of one incident he witnessed but you guys wouldn't let op take a clue and do something ASAP before tragedy strikes. Why insulting him? When a man or a woman starts keeping late night, there is no two ways to what is coming the way of his or her but just pure tragedy if something is not done. Nothing good can come out of it. The life of his wife is at risk, even his children too extension. That's besides the fact that he can meet untimely death.

HarunaWest:
His own is even better than mine...Me I may stay at home for one full month or above that. i.e from work to house then next day work again...But the day I will decide to do yawo with them Boyz...She won't see me for 2-3 days straight..I can't come and go and kill maself...

bigiyaro:
madam, just focus on your children, old age will calm him down.

Hmmmm

Calm down...His ego has a man is broken and going into depression state. Just keep comforting him and pray he gets a job.

Ouchbabe:
Pls my fellow Nairalanders,

I have been married for 8years now. My husband is nice and caring but I don't like the fact that he likes moving at night. He comes home as late as 12am.

He is currently looking for a job now and most times his reason for coming home late is because he is hanging out with friends. I have discussed this issue with him severally and expressed that I don't like his night movement. On such occasions he will promise not to come home late but the promise is never kept. I have told him the dangers of moving late in a city like Lagos.

The annoying part is that he is not coming home late from work rather because he i s with friends. Most times our young children will stay up late hoping to see him before going to bed but they will wait in vain as he will not be home before they will sleep off.

Note: Even though I'm working, I make sure the house is clean and food ready before he comes home. I don't nag and I'm good looking.

Pls I need suggestions on how to make him stop this night waka.

Please move to front page for wider view

maasoap:



He narrated the story of one incident he witnessed but you guys wouldn't let op take a clue and do something ASAP before tragedy strikes. Why insulting him? When a man or a woman starts keeping late night, there is no two ways to what is coming the way of his or her but just pure tragedy if something is not done. Nothing good can come out of it. The life of his wife is at risk, even his children too extension. That's besides the fact that he can meet untimely death.

oga go back to sleep.. because someone from d most likely fabricated story he claimed to witness messed up automatically means everyone threading same part of coming back home late are also fucking around?...use your sense abeg..
So let's assume your dad is an armed robber, because u share in his DNA makes u potential Thief .. straight up

Starhearts:


Proverbs 15:14
The heart of him that hath understanding seeketh knowledge: but the mouth of fools feedeth on foolishness.

Typical, wanna use Bible to intimidate me. But that same Bible tells us A man who cannot care for his Family is worse than an Infidel! Type nonsense to make you feel alright OK. You men are lucky that we women are no longer satisfied hinging all our wants on you and working to support, but that does not mean you should take our efforts for granted. If you are unemployed and looking for a job, simply help out d partner bringing things to the table and not making her life more difficult... Is that too hard to comprehend?

Starhearts:


Apply for mental therapy

For a person who quoted me 5 times, you simply need that mental therapy.

Tim16:
You are working, but he doesn't have any job yet. He comes home late everyday at 12am. You clean the house and provide food for the family, upon that you don't nag, and you are good looking.

Madam you married a very very irresponsible man, and people like him always engage in careless sexual activities with random girls/prostitutes. Most times he could probably be in one brothel having fun. I just pray he shouldn't someday infect you with HIV. same thing happened to my aunty, her husband was living this kind of life and infected her with HIV and both of them died of AIDS living their 4 young kids miserable. It will only take a Divine intervention by the Almighty to change such a man and make him live responsibly... I pray God to come to your aid and touch your husband's heart to become responsible and respect his marriage. I will advice you to become a prayer warrior because of this for there is nothing God can not do. You don't only talk to him you also back it up with fervent prayer I bet you you will see result. May God bless your home. AMEN

is that how u jump into conclusion I fear ur advice .if this lady follow ur advice her home will scatter

There must be something keeping him late at least.. maybe ur character, kids, neighbours, bills, responsibility and so on for somebody that has no job.

pawsofdikeje:
Calm down...His ego has a man is broken and going into depression state. Just keep comforting him and pray he gets a job.

What Ego? Who d Ego eep? So broken ego is an excuse for bad behavior? If he's actually suffering from broken ego, he won't b hanging out with friends everyday. When ones ego is broken, they'd prefer to b on their own actually.
In this case, are his friends jobless like him too for him to feel comfortable with them?

maasoap:


Lol. Where would he be? May be with another man in his own home with his wife and kids?
Irresponsibility is not that difficult to spot unless we decide to deliberately turn blind eye to it. There's no way you would be staying outside till 12am most of the time and you would be in places where responsible men are supposed to be. The question is: what is such man or woman doing outside and in such places in those ungodly hours?

Thank you. How will he even get a job when he hangs out with jobless friends too? Cos I don't see any working class or business dude staying up that late everyday in Lagos if they sane

Tim16:
Oga try get sense small na. No responsible man will sound this way

You are not actually a man are you?
I only stated my opinion, but you took offense at it and refuse to reason like an adult. For some reason I think you are a early teenager with a handset.

I am deeply appalled by what I'm reading here. The fate of the Nigerian woman is truly in the hands of God. Irresponsibility is continuously excused in the man while the woman is blamed for everything. I even read some comments like "get him a business', 'maybe you're not intelligent' 'you nag"

She works, cooks, cleans, handle the finances of the family while the man does NOTHING and yet she is subtly or directly blamed.

It still surprises me why women crave for marriage so much.

Invite one of his friend and his relative to your house, beg them to help u beg your man maybe u re hurting him in any way. Am so sure even if there is any pussy out side, he will change but try to give him another style over nite and better food with Courage of Hope..
Pls don't turn to Mariam Sanda because of issue ooo abeg..
Be a good woman because of ur Man and because of Children.
God bless ur home.

PatrioticNaija:
You don't nag, but you're putting up your husband on Nairaland for public discussions... you may as well crawl out with him

Common sense is not common, she only asked for ways to make him stop the habit not NAGGING. read before you reply HUMANBEANS

austyn0:
....don't mind me asking if you didn't see this "staying out late at night" habit before you married him?

How would your comment resolve the situation?

All Night Crawlers Like Me lets gather here and read comments

Does he help out with shopping, cooking, cleaning and kids assignments during the day and weekends? People deal with joblessness differently but I dislike people who stay out late for no just reasons. Even if you take alcohol like oxygen, go and get a refrigerator and have your drink indoor. Responsible and purposely people are not found in common places. You can't be in odd places at odd hours, and make it in this life. Great men are not found among ordinary/mere men. Business proposals are not discussed in road side bars. All you get to hear is woman matter, APC/PDP, Amotekun, or Ronaldo/Messi.

when you crawl.in here putting ur husband for.discussion you.are nagging.

when he was busy nacking u in the oza room we didn't hear that one.

anyway let.me just drop my own point and go away as a legend in here.
you knw what you will just look for a young guy to help you stark him to know what keep him out that late.make sure u pay the guy and give him tfare to follow ya man very well eve if he enter a hotel room he should enter thee club and just chill.with no suspicious of him stacking by man.

when he finally tell you his finding or story that touches don't come back and tell us o.

you bettter stop all this nagging on social media and keep.showing ya man love .
.I guess he has pot belly cuz u saw one man with a young girl going into a hotel .

make i waka joor.

Madam, please it is unfortunate you and your children are experiencing such.
But please, since he is not working, what is the source of the money he spends on his continuous 'hanging out'? I think that needs to be investigated if you are not the one sponsoring him. And if you are the one, then you have to redirect the blames and restrict him totally from having access to your money.

I just hope he is not engaging in criminal acts for funds.