Sorry I will be straight forward to you, your wife lack proper home training. Most of today's ladies were not properly brought up to value, respect n obey their husbands when they finally got married. Civilization has also taught them not to allow their husbands overshadow them. This is a cross a lot of married men must carry, n it depends on how u carry yours. If you want your marriage to survive, you have to let some things go, continue to encourage n advice your wife, n also pray.

Multiple personality split disorder or soul sharing transfer incidence. It's crazy what's going on that you cannot fathom

dalass:
Women....especially wives ....
Please stop calling your men...baby!

Now @ OP, listen to yourself!

My wife forgets our wedding anniversary... Meaning... She doesn't love me!

Did she tell you sir that?
When last have you told her that you love her?

Men's concept.. Once I'm giving my wife money, then she should worship me!

She's a business woman.. Her business may be more demanding and tiring than a white collar job.

Remind her your anniversary is coming! Plan it together or spring up a surprise for her..

Abeg you guys should grow up before you marry please!

I had to stop telling her I love her because for three years ( before I stopped ) it was me doing it all. Until I couldn't buy her gifts as often as I would wish because we are trying to build our own house, I ensure I buy her stuffs. All I get in return is, won ti gba e ( they don scam you ).

For this Anni, heaven bears me witness ( I had to say this just cos of the kids on here who will say I am lying ) my initial plan was to buy her a car before I decided that 1. She doesn't deserve it 2. I really can't afford another car if I do not want out project to suffer.

I have given my call. Got rid of people for her sake, worked extra hard to ensure we always have what we needed. But none has worked.

Your wife is fine, nothing I mean nothing is wrong with her. I might not know much about marriage but kneel down and pray to God. Tell God what's going on in your marital home, continue catering for her needs, correct her when she's wrong, call her to order. You're the man of the house, remember you're two imperfect souls in one body, if you were to be in her position all she would have done is to pray now that you're hurt just pray to God. With God all things are possible, just know that challenges will surely visit.
Besides this issue should have been on God's table not social media

I know women complain about their marriages. When I see good men suffer in their marriages while being the best husbands they can be for their wives, I weep inside of me. I ask myself how good men can carry their hard earned monies to buy (pay dowry) for a woman/wife who will cause them so much emotional pain and psychological/mental suffering and stress.

Most of all I applaud men who speak up even when our society expects men to die in silence while acting all macho.


Oga, you are the head of your home. Man up. Sit up and call her to order, you can't be doling out cash of 3million into a bear bear bank that doesn't cook, care and service you sexually.

She should sit up to be a wife in every sense of the word called wife. Tell her to sit up, shape up or leave so you can get a wife that will really be a wife. A woman who knows the power of words and when to say sorry.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You see things will not change till you take a stand as a man. You are in this life hustling to keep family happy and provided for but you also deserve respect, love and care as a man and a husband. You can't endure your marriage and for how long will you endure it? It is till death do you part. If she no ready to be wife, biko, let her step back biko. Your happiness over anything.


You need your sanity biko.

And this goes to men, before you marry check the women you are marrying, check how their mothers treat their dads. Check the family values their share. Same with ladies check the guys family values. Some homes kids grow in leave the kids checkered and messed up so those kids marriages never work out.

Your wife married you because you were ready for marriage and financially stable, she didn't marry you because she loved you.

Honestly I think you traid& I think you're the cool & patient type of guy who don't want to do anything cos of what people will say.but I say you really tried to have condone such a woman with such character, if she had made someone of her match or those who don't care about what the outside world will say,you for done tear race comot from the marriage or divorce her.well,its now left for you to decide cos she won't change

Did you tell her you wanted helping one of her sisters in need, as a couple, one should learn how to do things involving his or her partner so he or she won't be angry when he or she hears anything from a third party, keep doing what you normally when you first met her and reassure her of your love for her, I believe her head will reformat back to normal.

this kind of issue is very easy to solve.
talk to her, if she doesn't change her ways then ignore her.
when I say ignore her, I mean don't give her attention, do your husband duty by providing for the family but act in a such a way that She'll think that you're cheating on her.. but don't cheat on her oh, I believe you can abstain from sex at least two months.
once she notice your distance from her, She'll be worried and She'll think she's gradually loosing you. this alone will reset her brain.
or you can probably flirt with female friends in her presence, praise your maid more often and look at her lustfully in presence of your wife, that's if your maid is not an old woman o.. if you do this things enh mostly not giving her attention She'll be frustrated and ask you what's going on.


this can only work if you have been a faithful and lovely husband.

and please ones she start getting worried too much tell her the reason for your action and She'll change.

Have you thought about the stresses you both going through ? Have both of you made efforts exercising daily and eating right ? Are both of you doing something fun together? Some times, stress is not only when you are going through hard time. Take a look at your environmental stressors...family stressors etc
Building a home is stressful! Trying to have a fashion store can be stressful. Staying at home with no job is stressful You might have been channeling that stress into emotional sex...wanting it so badly it stresses you out. Her own is draining her of that emotional connection.
Who fit make love for this Nigeria sef

Rapecase:
I had to stop telling her I love her because for three years ( before I stopped ) it was me doing it all. Until I couldn't buy her gifts as often as I would wish because we are trying to build our own house, I ensure I buy her stuffs. All I get in return is, won ti gba e ( they don scam you ).

For this Anni, heaven bears me witness ( I had to say this just cos of the kids on here who will say I am lying ) my initial plan was to buy her a car before I decided that 1. She doesn't deserve it 2. I really can't afford another car if I do not want out project to suffer.

I have given my call. Got rid of people for her sake, worked extra hard to ensure we always have what we needed. But none has worked.

mechanics:
Did you tell her you wanted helping one of her sisters in need, as a couple, one should learn how to do things involving his or her partner so he or she won't be angry when he or she hears anything from a third party, keep doing what you normally when you first met her and reassure her of your love for her, I believe her head will reformat back to normal.

She knows. She wanted me to settle her first of which the woman lost her baby and the 100k solves their problem while the same won't sort my wife's issue at the time. Besides I already given her over 2m if anything I expected her to be reasonable and not make me out like I care more for outsider than her.

And even if I did, immediately I objected I expected her to apologise and not insist. I would have apologised if the reverse was the case.

This is same woman who I forfeited my admission to an institution for. I may sound Petty but that's me. I expect some appreciation not some mouthing off like I have not given her anything at all.

God bless you, it can't be better than this.

Thank you, this is beautiful

yeyeosoronga:
Get her to be more accountable to you, and even to herself.
Help her get a loan for her business, under her own name. You can act as a guarantor, so that las las if she defaults on payment , you will bail her out but that will allow her know that she can jeopardise her credit worthiness.
Allow people appreciate money, and don't make it seem as though it's so easy to get the money. She doesn't appreciate all you do because it probably comes on a platter.
If she is travelling and doesn't tell you of her plans, do same to her. Plan a travel for the weekend, perhaps to visit your parents or a business related trip and tell her the night before, or on the day before. Some people do things without consideration for others, not necessarily out of malicious intent but because they dont think deep enough. When you do same to her, she will develop empathy for that same thing and would have learnt a lesson. But if she doesn't care whether you tell her or not, sorry, love isn't a strong forte in your marriage. It doesn't mean you can't still have a good marriage. Many marriages still thrive on less, even without love so no biggie.
As per the sex thing, 3x a week is more than enough. Negotiate a timetable for sex. Yes, I said it. It should be spontaneous blablabla, but real life events may mean you won't get any, despite being married. So, negotiate early now. Why doesn't she like sex anymore? Is she always tired? Are her hormones playing up?, let her get her thyroid checked too. Fortunately, I hear there's a new drug to help women's libido sexually. It's not yet approved in most countries, but it could help her. There's also the Spanish fly nonsense they talk about. In the past, which position did she like during the act, let more of that happen now than just the one you like. Also, make sure you're still attractive to other women. Nobody likes a pot bellied, smelly person who wears one boxer shorts 2-3 days in a row. Always smell fresh, come home fromm work, take a shower , relax to have your meal and watch TV to unwind. Wear nice pyjamas or sleep wear , fresh ones daily. Even if its sleeping in a singlet due to heat, wear a fresh singlet.
I'm not been sarcastic here. You have to look after yourself. Not just because of your spouse, but for your own selfworthiness. Join a gym too while at it.
If you dont show others you value your looks, body and you're a god, how would they value it?

armyofone:
Have you thought about the stresses you both going through ? Have both of you made efforts exercising daily and eating right ? Are both of you doing something fun together? Some times, stress is not only when you are going through hard time. Take a look at your environmental stressors...family stressors etc
Building a home is stressful! Trying to have a fashion store can be stressful. Staying at home with no job is stressful You might have been channeling that stress into emotional sex...wanting it so badly it stresses you out. Her own is draining her of that emotional connection.
Who fit make love for this Nigeria sef

I have tried everything. I am now giving it zero effort now. After the abuses I have gotten here I accept that I am at fault. I will do what every other man would have done.

I will move her and refuse every counsel against such move. She needs learn the hard way.

Rapecase:
She knows. She wanted me to settle her first of which the woman lost her baby and the 100k solves their problem while the same won't sort my wife's issue at the time. Besides I already given her over 2m if anything I expected her to be reasonable and not make me out like I care more for outsider than her.

And even if I did, immediately I objected I expected her to apologise and not insist. I would have apologised if the reverse was the case.

This is same woman who I forfeited my admission to an institution for. I may sound Petty but that's me. I expect some appreciation not some mouthing off like I have not given her anything at all.

I understand you, since she's aware, I don't expect her to behave the way she did, the way the issue is now, you need to report her to her parents to caution her, maybe she will change, and if possible, talk to your pastors in your church for matured counselling, it's well sir, thank God you didn't cheat on her, and God will surely make your home a lovely one again.

Rapecase:
Edit - to those who may be wondering about my username, I created this account whilst trying to help two kids who were victims of rape.

Our 4th anniversary was few days ago, as I thought she would , my wife forgot the date. It ordinarily would not have hurt me so much but I have always had this feeling that she doesn't love me.

When we were dating she was all over me. But nothing I do ever since we got married gets appreciated. Few months ago she hurled abuses on me for helping a sister, a friend of hers, who lost a child and are homeless. And what's the help? Just 100k. Apparently I enjoy abandoning her need for others. And this
coming from a woman who few days earlier was saying I had invested over 2m on her business in a short while ( by her own calculation, as I don't take note when giving her money ).

I told a mother figure in church who is close to both me, her and the family I helped who corrected her. Expect if she will apologise tomorrow.

Off course the lady I helped in question is idiotic but I can't bear her and house and kids being homeless especially after losing a child.

My wife will never apologise when she does sometime I object to. Her apology which is often done in the most demeaning way is only tendered if I take the issue over board.

Our sex life since we got married has been poor to the extreme. I have ensured I do not cheat, not for a single day but I constantly have to beg for sex or masturbate to relieve myself.

Laying our bed is always a war for her. She does it only when she wants. Mind you we have two kids and a maid who helps with virtually everything.

The maid in the morning ( 90% of the time ) makes the breakfast, clean the house while she only baths our first child and get her ready for school, I take her to school most of the time.

Am I overreacting to expect my wife to

1. Properly apologise when she does something I do not like and ensure she doesnt repeat it? For instance few days ago she was planning on traveling outside our base, I only got to know through her phone conversation with her sister although she didn't eventually travel, I felt I should have known before hand as I got to know a night before. Till date what I got in form of apology is, "I would have told you". She was planning to travel by 5am, I heard her conversation by 10pm a night before and we slept on the same bed.

2. Sex at least 3 times a week? I stopped trying to initiate it after so many rejections.

3. Not to forget important dates such as our wedding anniversary?

4. To at all time be the one making my meal.

Please note she practically doesn't work now. We are setting up a fashion house for her she has taken over 3m from me as of the time of writing this. Note my cloths go to dry cleaners. Only thing she does is cook my meal ( when she wants ).

I am beginning to think maybe I am a mental health patient who doesn't know yet. Maybe something is wrong with me and I am just reacting based on that?

She was good when ur were dating then as soon as u guys got married she became smtnelse? Just lile that? No reasons? Quite Intresting....

Look a house/home is not an instructional Skol where u dish out instruction to ur subordinate and they comply. It's about right communcation, good observations and resolving issues amicably or properly.

U wife changes her attitude 360 degrees from what u used to know and ure asking all the wrong questions, u communication and love language is zero and u want us to tell u it's right to ask.her to to all that, so if we tell u it's right how are u going to make her do them Exactly

Pls go learn how to relate with ur wife like u use to b4. Unless u want to say she was pretending or ure a weak man who tolerated her excesses rather than correct her and stand ur ground when necessary.

Also note ur wife is not maid, yes she can cook if she's not busy or tired from work, anybody can lay the bed. It doesn't have to be her all the time and if u want her to do it more often u have to make sure u understand her and communicate that properly bt that will still only work when ur general communication is back up. U guys are living like u have several unresolved issues and she's only reacting to them. On helping her frnd that alone can't be the reason for her total change so find out what's going on with her exactly. If u know how.

You married a narcissist! She has all the features of narcissistic personality disorder. They lack empathy. She thinks she is doing u a favour by marrying u. There are 2 ways of dealing with narcissists in a relationship. It's either you do exactly what she is doing to you, tit for that, or take a walk. If u like kill urself, she will never appreciate it. Read about narcissistic personality disorder.

Rapecase:
This thread is not for kids.

Maybe my level of reasoning is higher than yours. Oldman.

Op... We all have our shortcomings....that your mate forgets your anniversary should never be a yardstick to questioning his or her love for you.

I forget important dates too. Before this agbalagbi start to spew trash.

Rapecase:
Edit -
I am beginning to think maybe I am a mental health patient who doesn't know yet. Maybe something is wrong with me and I am just reacting based on that?

This is called gas lighting..pls dknt let it get to u

No campaign after election naaa. Or after Buhari got his 2nd term, did you see him still carry APC banner up and down?

stop talking to her and stop investing in her business. ignore her for some time.

OKOATA:
I can send you an ebook about women, it will change your perception about them, I will advise you to change your cologne, start dressing nice and ignore her totally, get a side chick if possible. Women hate men that ignore them and don’t ever beg for sex again, she’s using that to manipulate you. Have sex outside and use protection if need be bro. She will be the one coming back to her senses if you can try and ignore her for long.

which book is that?

I may help you....contact me

Simp story # 182 for 2020.
Keep 'em coming nut-less wonders of the male gender.

sladimeji:
pray for her and always talk to her in ways you know she can listen

Have you asked her where you might have wrong her?
You didn't mention any of your flaws..

But from your description, it seems you're too good for her and everything.
Yes, you don't cheat, but do you drink? smoke? hurl abusive words towards her? compare her with others?

Rapecase:
Edit - to those who may be wondering about my username, I created this account whilst trying to help two kids who were victims of rape.

Our 4th anniversary was few days ago, as I thought she would , my wife forgot the date. It ordinarily would not have hurt me so much but I have always had this feeling that she doesn't love me.

When we were dating she was all over me. But nothing I do ever since we got married gets appreciated. Few months ago she hurled abuses on me for helping a sister, a friend of hers, who lost a child and are homeless. And what's the help? Just 100k. Apparently I enjoy abandoning her need for others. And this
coming from a woman who few days earlier was saying I had invested over 2m on her business in a short while ( by her own calculation, as I don't take note when giving her money ).

I told a mother figure in church who is close to both me, her and the family I helped who corrected her. Expect if she will apologise tomorrow.

Off course the lady I helped in question is idiotic but I can't bear her and house and kids being homeless especially after losing a child.

My wife will never apologise when she does sometime I object to. Her apology which is often done in the most demeaning way is only tendered if I take the issue over board.

Our sex life since we got married has been poor to the extreme. I have ensured I do not cheat, not for a single day but I constantly have to beg for sex or masturbate to relieve myself.

Laying our bed is always a war for her. She does it only when she wants. Mind you we have two kids and a maid who helps with virtually everything.

The maid in the morning ( 90% of the time ) makes the breakfast, clean the house while she only baths our first child and get her ready for school, I take her to school most of the time.

Am I overreacting to expect my wife to

1. Properly apologise when she does something I do not like and ensure she doesnt repeat it? For instance few days ago she was planning on traveling outside our base, I only got to know through her phone conversation with her sister although she didn't eventually travel, I felt I should have known before hand as I got to know a night before. Till date what I got in form of apology is, "I would have told you". She was planning to travel by 5am, I heard her conversation by 10pm a night before and we slept on the same bed.

2. Sex at least 3 times a week? I stopped trying to initiate it after so many rejections.

3. Not to forget important dates such as our wedding anniversary?

4. To at all time be the one making my meal.

Please note she practically doesn't work now. We are setting up a fashion house for her she has taken over 3m from me as of the time of writing this. Note my cloths go to dry cleaners. Only thing she does is cook my meal ( when she wants ).

I am beginning to think maybe I am a mental health patient who doesn't know yet. Maybe something is wrong with me and I am just reacting based on that?

I swear I have a plan on how to help you if you can help me too
Check my signature and help me out and I will help you
Message me on whatsapp with the number in my signature when you are ready

Oh really? I wish I have a hubby like you..not married tho oh humans! Do we ever get satisfied? I don't understand how one could behave this badly to a man you claim to love and married? What could have changed? It's sad. Just teach her a lesson that'll reset her head cause this ain't normal.

Esteemval:
Your wife is fine, nothing I mean nothing is wrong with her. I might not know much about marriage but kneel down and pray to God. Tell God what's going on in your marital home, continue catering for her needs, correct her when she's wrong, call her to order. You're the man of the house, remember you're two imperfect souls in one body, if you were to be in her position all she would have done is to pray now that you're hurt just pray to God. With God all things are possible, just know that challenges will surely visit.
Besides this issue should have been on God's table not social media

Not just prayer my sister, seek knowledge. You can keep praying and be in a hole of ignorance.

See eh, many of our bad habits needs an attitudinal change not prayers. But we don't want to see it that way.

She needs second wife.....chikenaa

queengift:
Your wife married you because you were ready for marriage and financially stable, she didn't marry you because she loved you.

You know what I call statements like yours? Analysis paralysis.

You can't sit in your room and just conclude she never loved him. You think Judas never loved Christ?

SURElee:
I know women complain about their marriages. When I see good men suffer in their marriages while being the best husbands they can be for their wives, I weep inside of me. I ask myself how good men can carry their hard earned monies to buy (pay dowry) for a woman/wife who will cause them so much emotional pain and psychological/mental suffering and stress.

Most of all I applaud men who speak up even when our society expects men to die in silence while acting all macho.


Oga, you are the head of your home. Man up. Sit up and call her to order, you can't be doling out cash of 3million into a bear bear bank that doesn't cook, care and service you sexually.

She should sit up to be a wife in every sense of the word called wife. Tell her to sit up, shape up or leave so you can get a wife that will really be a wife. A woman who knows the power of words and when to say sorry.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You see things will not change till you take a stand as a man. You are in this life hustling to keep family happy and provided for but you also deserve respect, love and care as a man and a husband. You can't endure your marriage and for how long will you endure it? It is till death do you part. If she no ready to be wife, biko, let her step back biko. Your happiness over anything.


You need your sanity biko.

And this goes to men, before you marry check the women you are marrying, check how their mothers treat their dads. Check the family values their share. Same with ladies check the guys family values. Some homes kids grow in leave the kids checkered and messed up so those kids marriages never work out.

If we are being honest with ourselves, we can tell from few weeks after we get close to Mr A or Miss B that they are bad market.

It's glaring, but we choose to ignore them.

Rapecase:
She never apologises from the onset. But affront has now been added to it.

My late dad used to say that any woman that can not say thank you, can’t say sorry or apologise when wrong will give her husband issues in marriage. As for me i get upset if my woman can’t explain things to me.

Your wife owes you an explanation & that’s a fact. I will give it to you straight away that your wife does not really love you but don’t take this personal bro