Too many weak men this our generation, our fathers marry many wife dey Bleep who dey choose to Bleep

regardless of if you a Muslim or Christian... please marry a 2nd wife and your problem will be solved.

Rapecase:
Edit - to those who may be wondering about my username, I created this account whilst trying to help two kids who were victims of rape.

Our 4th anniversary was few days ago, as I thought she would , my wife forgot the date. It ordinarily would not have hurt me so much but I have always had this feeling that she doesn't love me.

When we were dating she was all over me. But nothing I do ever since we got married gets appreciated. Few months ago she hurled abuses on me for helping a sister, a friend of hers, who lost a child and are homeless. And what's the help? Just 100k. Apparently I enjoy abandoning her need for others. And this
coming from a woman who few days earlier was saying I had invested over 2m on her business in a short while ( by her own calculation, as I don't take note when giving her money ).

I told a mother figure in church who is close to both me, her and the family I helped who corrected her. Expect if she will apologise tomorrow.

Off course the lady I helped in question is idiotic but I can't bear her and house and kids being homeless especially after losing a child.

My wife will never apologise when she does sometime I object to. Her apology which is often done in the most demeaning way is only tendered if I take the issue over board.

Our sex life since we got married has been poor to the extreme. I have ensured I do not cheat, not for a single day but I constantly have to beg for sex or masturbate to relieve myself.

Laying our bed is always a war for her. She does it only when she wants. Mind you we have two kids and a maid who helps with virtually everything.

The maid in the morning ( 90% of the time ) makes the breakfast, clean the house while she only baths our first child and get her ready for school, I take her to school most of the time.

Am I overreacting to expect my wife to

1. Properly apologise when she does something I do not like and ensure she doesnt repeat it? For instance few days ago she was planning on traveling outside our base, I only got to know through her phone conversation with her sister although she didn't eventually travel, I felt I should have known before hand as I got to know a night before. Till date what I got in form of apology is, "I would have told you". She was planning to travel by 5am, I heard her conversation by 10pm a night before and we slept on the same bed.

2. Sex at least 3 times a week? I stopped trying to initiate it after so many rejections.

3. Not to forget important dates such as our wedding anniversary?

4. To at all time be the one making my meal.

Please note she practically doesn't work now. We are setting up a fashion house for her she has taken over 3m from me as of the time of writing this. Note my cloths go to dry cleaners. Only thing she does is cook my meal ( when she wants ).

I am beginning to think maybe I am a mental health patient who doesn't know yet. Maybe something is wrong with me and I am just reacting based on that?

As much as I might be regarded as unqualified to contribute to this matter (considering the fact that I am not married. Yet.) I think you need to let your wife know this. Have you sat her down to let her know this is exactly how you feel? Bear your mind to her. Let her know you don't feel loved enough by her and tender reasons why you feel so. Whatever she says or does would determine your next step. I hope this offers some help

Asking for is not the same as begging now. No harm in asking- babes, can we do it today or you in the mood of some ....etc
I think he has to meet with his woman in the middle. Not the "I want it 3 times a week" style.

crackkhaus:

Maybe this can happen ONLY on valentine's day.

But to beg for access? Crackhaus no sabi dat one even if it will save my life, no jokes.

See Nigerian man with liberty to marry as many women as he pleases crying like a sisi. You must have been drumming it into your wife's head that you are against divorce hence given her a sense of security to misbehave.
File for divorce and divorce her. Get another wife who truly loves and respect you. Life is too short to be wasted on unhappiness. Besides your maid is there to run the hone. Rubbish!

Divorce her and marry me.... case closed.

No you are not nut nor crazy. Marital case is complicated. The party who wears the shoes is the one who knows exactly what he or she is going through.

Can you do something

Keep looking at her. Dont demand for that sex again.dont ask her to lay the bed, don't ask for forgiveness.

That's the solution.

Mstick:
Oga if you’re running nuts like you claimed you wouldn’t add all the flimsy details about giving your wife money knowing fully well how much it triggers the boys on this forum, after all if you don’t give your wife money who will?

I don’t understand why you need to add the “she practically doesn’t work” part if you really don’t want your wife to be insulted by kids on this forum.

Your sex life is NOT anyone’s business and it’s also not for public consumption so why do you need to add that detail?

If you feel your wife doesn’t love you, don’t you think she’s on the best position to answer that instead of exposing your family to ridiculous advice from never do wells?

Senseless post

Ijaycool:
Me that forgets my birthday, have I committed suicide?

Read the whole story to understand better. There are other underlining issues Op mentioned.

Rapecase:
Edit - to those who may be wondering about my username, I created this account whilst trying to help two kids who were victims of rape.

Our 4th anniversary was few days ago, as I thought she would , my wife forgot the date. It ordinarily would not have hurt me so much but I have always had this feeling that she doesn't love me.

When we were dating she was all over me. But nothing I do ever since we got married gets appreciated. Few months ago she hurled abuses on me for helping a sister, a friend of hers, who lost a child and are homeless. And what's the help? Just 100k. Apparently I enjoy abandoning her need for others. And this
coming from a woman who few days earlier was saying I had invested over 2m on her business in a short while ( by her own calculation, as I don't take note when giving her money ).

I told a mother figure in church who is close to both me, her and the family I helped who corrected her. Expect if she will apologise tomorrow.

Off course the lady I helped in question is idiotic but I can't bear her and house and kids being homeless especially after losing a child.

My wife will never apologise when she does sometime I object to. Her apology which is often done in the most demeaning way is only tendered if I take the issue over board.

Our sex life since we got married has been poor to the extreme. I have ensured I do not cheat, not for a single day but I constantly have to beg for sex or masturbate to relieve myself.

Laying our bed is always a war for her. She does it only when she wants. Mind you we have two kids and a maid who helps with virtually everything.

The maid in the morning ( 90% of the time ) makes the breakfast, clean the house while she only baths our first child and get her ready for school, I take her to school most of the time.

Am I overreacting to expect my wife to

1. Properly apologise when she does something I do not like and ensure she doesnt repeat it? For instance few days ago she was planning on traveling outside our base, I only got to know through her phone conversation with her sister although she didn't eventually travel, I felt I should have known before hand as I got to know a night before. Till date what I got in form of apology is, "I would have told you". She was planning to travel by 5am, I heard her conversation by 10pm a night before and we slept on the same bed.

2. Sex at least 3 times a week? I stopped trying to initiate it after so many rejections.

3. Not to forget important dates such as our wedding anniversary?

4. To at all time be the one making my meal.

Please note she practically doesn't work now. We are setting up a fashion house for her she has taken over 3m from me as of the time of writing this. Note my cloths go to dry cleaners. Only thing she does is cook my meal ( when she wants ).

I am beginning to think maybe I am a mental health patient who doesn't know yet. Maybe something is wrong with me and I am just reacting based on that?

You're too easy of a target ,she's having a field day with you because you're too soft,you've endured far too much,give her ultimatum or send her packing.

ThreeBlackBird:
I sometimes forget my own birthday, how much more anniversary?

Read the whole story to understand better. There are other underlining issues Op mentioned aside wedding anniversary.

paparazzi1987:
You don’t have sense if wedding anniversary is your top priority in marriage.

Your conclusion is wrong here. Read the whole story to understand better. There are other underlining issues Op mentioned aside wedding anniversary.

ITbomb:
Me that remember Buhari swearing in date, do I love him?

Read the whole story to understand better. There are other underlining issues Op mentioned aside wedding anniversary.

Most of the idiots that commented didn't read through.. Only the headines

Flier:
Shameless man fighting his wife over a mere wedding anniversary when men like him are doing better things with their time

I am pretty sure I can comfortably pay your salary for the next 3 years. 100% sure of it and I don't even know you.

Stop running your mouth. You don't know me.

armyofone:
Asking for is not the same as begging now. No harm in asking- babes, can we do it today or you in the mood of some ....etc
I think he has to meet with his woman in the middle. Not the "I want it 3 times a week" style.

Asking oo, begging oo ..same thing.. it means my lips will be moving..
That's too much talk on top sex that I will still do the most work, abeg I no fit.

My own is to make moves physically, do all the usual totori and if she doesn't respond...then that's that.

Once or twice another time/day is enough to try again, but when it becomes a regular occurrence for her to always turn down my physical sexual advances, I know what time it is. Side-chic loading...

To open my mouth to ask? Mbanu.

Blackybaby:
Am praying to God for a good husband as for being a good wife, my husband will sing
Melody everyday and thank God that he met me.

I love the melody aspect. Bleep him till his prick bends, watch porn with him, let him use his prick to shift your womb as well, do any all the styles porn stars do in their movies, feed him well, respect him, pray with and for him and i promise he will worship you till his last breath.

Zoroaster:
Most of the idiots that commented didn't read through.. Only the headines

It's so disappointing that they're unable to read, yet they had the guts to call Op names with their low IQ comments.

Any sad marriage tale

Rapecase:
Edit - to those who may be wondering about my username, I created this account whilst trying to help two kids who were victims of rape.

Our 4th anniversary was few days ago, as I thought she would , my wife forgot the date. It ordinarily would not have hurt me so much but I have always had this feeling that she doesn't love me.

When we were dating she was all over me. But nothing I do ever since we got married gets appreciated. Few months ago she hurled abuses on me for helping a sister, a friend of hers, who lost a child and are homeless. And what's the help? Just 100k. Apparently I enjoy abandoning her need for others. And this
coming from a woman who few days earlier was saying I had invested over 2m on her business in a short while ( by her own calculation, as I don't take note when giving her money ).

I told a mother figure in church who is close to both me, her and the family I helped who corrected her. Expect if she will apologise tomorrow.

Off course the lady I helped in question is idiotic but I can't bear her and house and kids being homeless especially after losing a child.

My wife will never apologise when she does sometime I object to. Her apology which is often done in the most demeaning way is only tendered if I take the issue over board.

Our sex life since we got married has been poor to the extreme. I have ensured I do not cheat, not for a single day but I constantly have to beg for sex or masturbate to relieve myself.

Laying our bed is always a war for her. She does it only when she wants. Mind you we have two kids and a maid who helps with virtually everything.

The maid in the morning ( 90% of the time ) makes the breakfast, clean the house while she only baths our first child and get her ready for school, I take her to school most of the time.

Am I overreacting to expect my wife to

1. Properly apologise when she does something I do not like and ensure she doesnt repeat it? For instance few days ago she was planning on traveling outside our base, I only got to know through her phone conversation with her sister although she didn't eventually travel, I felt I should have known before hand as I got to know a night before. Till date what I got in form of apology is, "I would have told you". She was planning to travel by 5am, I heard her conversation by 10pm a night before and we slept on the same bed.

2. Sex at least 3 times a week? I stopped trying to initiate it after so many rejections.

3. Not to forget important dates such as our wedding anniversary?

4. To at all time be the one making my meal.

Please note she practically doesn't work now. We are setting up a fashion house for her she has taken over 3m from me as of the time of writing this. Note my cloths go to dry cleaners. Only thing she does is cook my meal ( when she wants ).

I am beginning to think maybe I am a mental health patient who doesn't know yet. Maybe something is wrong with me and I am just reacting based on that?

Sad actually, but I think you should have a conversation with your wife. Table your concerns, and explain to her how her actions hurt you.

Let her know you have the option to walk away if you continue feeling miserable.

Also, someone here mentioned getting a loan in her name for her business. I think this is a great idea, and will drive her to be accountable and responsible, which could yield benefits in her interactions with you.

Do not give up on trying, and know you always have a choice to walk away.

Goodluck!

Nah by force to marry? You better remain a single mother or father so that you can have lasting peace.
The federal ministry of women and men affairs warns that a married man is liable to die young. Either by the wife adding poison his food or by his wife trouble at home.

Christmasdon:
. MY FIRST QUESTION TO YOU IS, ARE YOU MARRIED. IF NOT MIND THE WAY YOU TALK TO MARRIED HOMES. THERE IS A PROGRAMME ON RADIO FOR GIVING ADVICE TO MARRIED PERSONS , IF IT HAPPENS THAT YOU ARE NOT MARRIED YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO CONTRIBUTE.
@ OP I TOT U WOULD HAVE DONE THE CHARITY WORK WITHOUT YOUR WIFE'S KNOWLEGDE. DO YOU KNOW THAT ONCE YOU GET MARRIED YOUR WIFE CONTROLS YOU. DO AS I SAY. I PRAY SHE LOVES U BACK AS AT BEFORE. GOODLUCK.

THE ONE THAT PAINS ME MUCH IS DENYING PARTNER SEX. AFTER GIRLS WILL TELL ME .GO AND MARRY ,THAT IF U MARRY U WILL HAVE SEX WITH WIFE ANYHOW U LIKE.AFTER GETTING MARRIED ISSUES AT HAND CHANGES.

When you bring your home problem to a forum like this, I'm sorry, the general public will air their view.
And as I said, I never knew that anniversaries, birthday, Valentine and things like that matters to men. I thought it's only women that carries it on their head.

eziokwu! Ezigbo mmadu!!

crackkhaus:

Asking oo, begging oo ..same thing.. it means my lips will be moving..
That's too much talk on top sex that I will still do the most work, abeg I no fit.

My own is to make moves physically, do all the usual totori and if she doesn't respond...then that's that.

Once or twice another time/day is enough to try again, but when it becomes a regular occurrence for her to always turn down my physical sexual advances, I know what time it is. Side-chic loading...

To open my mouth to ask? Mbanu.

Seems fabricated; if true, mumu is your first name, wait, your last name too.

From the bottom of my heart, you're a disgrace to all mammal males.

calabardick:


- were you getting married to a single mom?
- age wise, is she your senior?
- who is the breadwinner there?

I am seven years older. She was not a single mom

I fend for the family 100%.

Mstick:
Nairaland alfa mails your food is ready it contains the usual
1) he gives his wife money
2) she denies him sex
3) she doesn’t work

Come and abuse OP’s wife, he has already laid her on a golden table for you guys.

Afi Alfa mails na

Jeez! This is exactly my girlfriend and I actually have a good plan for both of us early next year. I have to think this through again.

I don't know why some people find it extremely difficult to apologize when they're wrong

You mentioned you have two kids at the moment, when did you start noticing these changes ( am assuming it wasn't like this at the start of your marriage yes ? )

Sometimes, it could be a case of your wife experiencing postpartum depression, ,in which case you need to deal with very differently and with sensitivity

I tell people that during courtship, most of the time, the parties involved are just pretending, this is because, both parties, are trying as much as possible to show their good side. Reality of who we really begins to show 0 - few years down the line. The way we handle this reality is how well our relationship with our spouses will progress.

In relation to this matter, sometimes we need to change ourselves to see the change that we desire in others. This new part of your wife may be as a result of hidden traits that spouses fail to pay attention to during courtship. For most marriages, you will hardly escape this occurrence. I did not escape this in my marriage

There are so many things that will be required for a proper advice to be given on this matter, honestly, it will be difficult to just blame your wife for all you have mentioned without getting her own views. However, I will try as much as possible to try to use the closest possible examples.

1. Does your wife express satisfaction after you both have sex (I asked this, because if she doesn't enjoy it, she would not see the need for it) -
Solution : Please go and learn techniques to please your wife if she doesn't, wives will tell their husbands if they enjoy sex one way or the
other, if she has not been saying so, please go and learn! Also, there is a need to ask her if you are satisfying her in this regard, asking does not do
any harm, It's your marriage, I ask my wife regularly, it was from our discussion that I discovered that I needed to up my game, now I get regular
thank you e.t.c note: I don't use sex enhancement drugs, burantashi e.t.c (No pride intended) just fruits that I learnt on google through simple
searches like "fruits / foods that aid sex e.t.c

2. Not all Humans Believe in Giving Freely: Some women perceive giving freely as waste of money, some like to put a value and calculation to
every single kobo you give. This should not be counted against her because the kind of training she received for the over 18 or more years before
you guys got married is different, families, environment etc of couples are different, trust me, not all signs are seen during dating or courting.
Solution :If you try to forcefully bend a dried fish, It will break, however, by applying techniques such as soaking in water and been gentle,
you will eventually be able to bend the once dried fish. Marriage involves the act of trying different methods to make it work, if you try one method
and it does work try another method. With time and constant discussions , you wife may begin to accept that charity is an acceptable way of
life.

3. House Chores / Keeping the House Tidy / Making of Bed : Not all marriages are the same, not all women are the same, not all men are the
same, It is easier to tolerate your wife than trying to make her suddenly become what she has not been trained to be by upbringing.
Solution :Used to complain about my wife not making bed, not keeping the room tidy etc until I came to the realization that what I ever say
or do concerning this will not change my wife, this was causing some much friction until I decided to start doing this my self or just look the other
way. Believe me, I have more peace and we fight less because of this, dont mind people that will call you all sort of names for trying to save your
marriage, cos if I dont tell you "how will you accuse my wife of these things". If you cannot live with the flaws of your spouse, it may be difficult to
have a peaceful home, cause only you can tolerate not fix your wife.

4. Third Parties : I dont know who involved pastors, elderly women etc in your martial issues, but not all women like third parties to hear about
their flaws or weakness, some of the new attitudes of your wife may be because of this.
Solution : Try as much as possible to discuss your marital issues alone without a third party. Even if you have to do this, it should be only for
the purpose of advice from trusted people that will not give you advice to destroy your home, preferably without the knowledge of your wife to
avoid issues, but with time you will learn how to apply right actions without consulting anyone.

5. Your marriage is still fixable ! you have to change yourself to see the change that you desire in others.


I hope this helps!

Mstick:
Nairaland alfa mails your food is ready it contains the usual
1) he gives his wife money
2) she denies him sex
3) she doesn’t work

Come and abuse OP’s wife, he has already laid her on a golden table for you guys.

You need a brain transplant asap.someone is talking about is predicament and you are here saying rubbish. Why una no get sense for nairaland like this?

Rapecase:
I am pretty sure I can comfortably pay your salary for the next 3 years. 100% sure of it and I don't even know you.

Stop running your mouth. You don't know me.

Post your account balance and I will post mine, I bet your entire family don’t have 1/10 of what I have in my account beside I don’t work for anyone I employ people like you
Find better things to do with your time and stop fighting over wedding anniversary
It disgust me when I read about a full grown man fighting over unnecessary things

Fedrams:
This one de craze. I was filling one form on Sunday and I have to asked my wife for our wedding date cos I did not remember again, she just laugh.
Wot does wedding date has to do wt love. Busy body and lazy youth

Hw will u feel if ur wife don't remember ur anniversary when you asked her