Same here

biGDhAp:
holy fvck ... reading this post had my skin crawling ..






gotta puke first, will be back

I didn't finish the story, can't finish it or I will risk my grandfather strangling me to death from his grave

I cover my brain and eyes with the blood if Jesus

From your story, You still hoping that your neighbours son bleeps u again

God help your wife
And person like you will like anal sex

@Dexlomo, it's not in the place of any man to infere judgement on you, God (even with your past) would still gladly accept you if you were to seek him.

I hope that you have a wonderful married life but there's something I noticed from your writing, I feel that you are nostalgic of your old life, I can make out lustfulness in your tone of writing, let old things pass away..

Gofwane:
I'm just waiting for the day a gay nigga will whip out his gayful d!ck near me. That the day the whole Earth will know that a leg can kick a d!ck off it's owner

... plucking it like you pluck s fruit from a tree would be better

Palehair:

I wish I could like this a billion times. It's the only comment that made complete sense and is sensitive to his pain

Awwww... I was so touched... I cried... I just wanna give the OP a long hug.. I want him to feel better...

Lamanii22:



Awwww... I was so touched... I cried... I just wanna give the OP a long hug.. I want him to feel better...

Same here, I definitely hope he's OK because it's really a struggle. It's like fighting yourself and I commend him for it

Palehair:

Same here, I definitely hope he's OK because it's really a struggle. It's like fighting yourself and I commend him for it

Right... I really hope too... I commend him too..

Thought I was reading a girl story not till the end.

So many shit happens in boys only/girls only schools...damn!!!

Well so far you decided to share this, it shows you're ready to face the challenges and let go of it, so help u God.

Speechless. The o.p had options but he choosed his part of being gay because he nvr mentioned thatvhe was forced.can't judge u but pray God to see you tru. he should first go and talk to his pastor and set up a meet up with the wife and pastor so he could as well tell his wife.( u go need ur wife too to fight ur way out).

Palehair:

Same here, I definitely hope he's OK because it's really a struggle. It's like fighting yourself and I commend him for it

Part of me feels you're same person as the OP or you're also gay. That's the only way I can explain you taking over the discourse.
If I'm wrong, please accept my apologies.

creolehunt:


Part of me feels you're same person as the OP or you're also gay. That's the only way I can explain you taking over the discourse.
If I'm wrong, please accept my apologies.

I have a gay brother so I may not understand what he's going through but at least I can relate with it

Palehair:

I have a gay brother so I may not understand what he's going through but at least I can relate with it

Ok bro

EmekusTHEgreat:
@Dexlomo, it's not in the place of any man to infere judgement on you, God (even with your past) would still gladly accept you if you were to seek him.

I hope that you have a wonderful married life but there's something I noticed from your writing, I feel that you are nostalgic of your old life, I can make out lustfulness in your tone of writing, let old things pass away..

I don't know what you mean by lustfulness though. One thing I can say is that I cannot completely tell I am done with my old life since I still maintain friendship with my older friends however, with respect to sex, I am out. We still get to talk about it sometimes as a way to encourage one another and also, not to fall into that moment that the brain would demand sex. It is more of a preventive measure.

IceColdVeins:
omo......I hope you were not that senior back in high school that always made me rub his back every night and almost forced his dick right into my mouth one night before I learnt that I gotta flee. Cos honestly, envisaging your high school setting from your write up, its no different from mine. Just incase you or your high school lover were that 'senior Richards', I'd be honored to tell you right now that my beautiful Bull Mastif and p90 machine would like to meet you.

I am neither and if you have moved on, let the past remain where it is. You don't need to come display some online toxic masculinity if there is nothing you are trying to prove.

Ishilove:
Why did you have to be so graphic? I can sense from the gleeful tone in your narration that if a man with a yam sized mandingo comes your way, you will remove your trousers and submit your anus with embarrassing alacrity. Shior.

Are you promoting homosexuality?? Scratch that, you're bisexual.

I feel really unclean after reading this filth.

Tueh!!

I am not out to contest what you feel about my post and if you read it well like you claim, you would get the picture. The essence of the write up is that we should be truthful to who we are as that could help us identify where to get help if need be.

Dexlomo:


I am not out to contest what you feel about my post and if you read it well like you claim, you would get the picture. The essence of the write up is that we should be truthful to who we are as that could help us identify where to get help if need be.

Okay...

I still feel dirty though

Lamanii22:
Oh my God... You went through a lot in life oo... For a sec I thought you were a girl... I'm amazed at how you find the opposite sex attractive after all of these... Mehn.. You're amazing...

I have always found them attractive but my early experience made me feel I am incompetent to have anything to do with a woman. My childhood trait of being effeminate doesn't necessarily translate to anything in terms of sexuality. Guess my neighbor's son took advantage of me coupled with some little bullying in elementary school that made me feel I should be a sissy and it was/is okay. It took a long while to walk out but nonetheless, because I am kind of tuned into it psychologically, I keep friends with my older friends who helped me rediscover myself because they went through a similar past and one of the things I have learnt is that discussing it most times, helps one not to crave for it.

PRISTINEMUSCLES:
Can your ass still hold some faeces cos your rectum must have been damaged by now. You decided to be gay in secondary school which was absolutely your choice. I went to a boy's only school and I really dealt with dose gay seniors really hard.

If that is how you see it, I do not have the ability to change your thoughts. For your question, it holds it perfectly well. What next?

ValCon888:
Op. You went to a federal government college. Either Odogbolu or Ijanikin. Yes or No?

I would like to decline this question just to help safeguard the name of my school as it got nothing to do with the school and neither was/is it the culture of the school.

Cchuks27:
While I don't accept it, I personally don't judge people who are gay. What I am more concerned about is your wife and kids who are living in limbo, totally unaware of this potent danger that can totally consume the family and put them to shame later on in the future.

Man, you must come out of the closet and live your truth.

What closet are we referring to here? That sometimes, I think about the past/talk about it with some other married men whom we have formed a support group is a crime, right? For your information, my wife is okay with me being me and we are enjoying each other's company. I could have been wired differently and I choose a new path for myself, what crime have I committed?

ifeanyiatuadu:
I totally understand you
But u shouldn't have posted this on nairaland. There are lots of immature homophobes on here

They can keep dwelling in their fantasies but what can I do about that? Many are not homophobes in the real sense they are just trying to tag along as being macho men. They should look deep into their family and if they have any sense of gaydar like they act, they would see it but you know what, we all are a bunch of hypocrites.

biGDhAp:
holy fvck ... reading this post had my skin crawling ..






gotta puke first, will be back

a septic tank won't hold my puke

Young03:
I cover my brain and eyes with the blood if Jesus

From your story, You still hoping that your neighbours son bleeps u again

God help your wife
And person like you will like anal sex

If you read it with an open mind, you would have noticed that happened long before I got married. Anyways, there is nothing to prove.

Specyano:
Thought I was reading a girl story not till the end.

So many shit happens in boys only/girls only schools...damn!!!

Well so far you decided to share this, it shows you're ready to face the challenges and let go of it, so help u God.

It was a mixed school but in the hostels, it was single sex based on your house.

vastolord4:

a septic tank won't hold my puke

lol ... shiit is crazy man

tunize:
Speechless. The o.p had options but he choosed his part of being gay because he nvr mentioned thatvhe was forced.can't judge u but pray God to see you tru. he should first go and talk to his pastor and set up a meet up with the wife and pastor so he could as well tell his wife.( u go need ur wife too to fight ur way out).

When my dealings were with guys, you could term me gay however, I have moved past that as such, my orientation could have changed. There are a few articles online although the outcomes are ambivalent, it is difficult to put people in a typical basket sexually.

creolehunt:


Part of me feels you're same person as the OP or you're also gay. That's the only way I can explain you taking over the discourse.
If I'm wrong, please accept my apologies.

Any need to apologize to him? You concluded already as led by your feelings so...

Ishilove:

Okay...

I still feel dirty though

I can't help on how you feel but ...

Av been abused by my senior in school once in his house, rich boy drove me home and put porn for me in his laptop and immediately my jacuzzi started going up, cos that time i am yet to experience first eruption... was enjoying the feeling until my head started kicking like the Jews Head praying in Wailing Wall and then the eruption came like molten magma and i became so weak and useless, then see brother come behind me begin d comot belt sey em want enter blue sea, i told him i will shout and neighbors will gather here now... Immediately he became sane again and since that time i suffered masturbation till the day NOAH entered the Ark and the Son Set me free from all my worries...

Lesson is Watch ur kids company and be closer to your kids...

Jesus Christ set me free from deadbeat masturbation..

We all must be very careful before people will inflict a pain we will live with forever.... Be it a habit or character or whatever.

To all those acting out there, one of the things I learnt particularly about us Nigerians is that there are very many on the DL. Many have multiple girlfriends to cover up, go to gym to get muscular to cover their traits and to attract more guys, and many other things they do. It is all pretense. The earlier we all learn to live our lives and make support groups grow instead of trying to demoralize people trying to find their path, the better for us all.

The earlier we talk about issues like this, the better.
I escaped been one and I must say it's God's intervention.
My advice to you is to keep trying to remain straight.
Decide that you won't go back to the past.
Pray about it.