womanscorned:
Before I got married to my husband we had a kind of perfect relationship. I just thought he was the perfect guy. He always checked on me. I did feel like he was marrying me for ulterior motives and everyone else just thought so too. My brothers warned me that he is not going to treat me right but I just feel drawn to him. I thought he just really cared about me. He seemed different.

I introduced him to my dad and my dad asked if I was sure and yes at that moment I was. Then shortly before the wedding his true colors started to come out. I never checked his phone but then a friend caught her boyfriend cheating so I decided to just check it. Guys I understand people say that if you go looking you will find something but I actually don't really believe that why is there always something that is the main point. I checked his phone and found one boob pic and pics of his old exes. I was SO shocked. Honestly, I never thought I would find anything. He told me that he recently got his phone updated and the pic was a pic of a celebrity. But I was smarter than that I saw that it was actually an "Auntie" that sent the pic so basically one of his contacts. I was so shocked, didn't know what to do. I told my brother he told me to just pray and I did and I felt like he was still the one he apologized and assured me that he was going to change.

Fast forward to a few months later I see a girl's pic in his phone his good friend's girlfriend and he was commenting on her looks very gross-like. I lost it and we fought but he assured me it was just guy talk.

Then again I recently found him talking to his good friend about another girl's boobs and he never tells me he loves me any longer. Never really truly cares. He even brought up divorce if I wanted to do it. So I am just kind of stuck. I do want to get a divorce honestly if my parents and his would not get involved. But we have a child together. I am not sure what to do right now. Why would he do this to me? Why get married if you don't love the person. I understand that people say guys will be guys and locker room talk but if you don't love that person deeply and truly then why marry them and make a vow before God.

Now I don't know what to do. He is always so rude in the way he talks. I can't remember the last time he took me out and even if he did I am sure it would be a dry conversation. I think he really is just worried about what people say and not really losing me any longer. He has this thing where he wants to always look like a nice guy. So my question is if you were in this position how would you leave? Oh he also looks at my friends and claims he never was when it is pretty obvious. He drank a little and then started winking at my friend.

I will just advise that if you still want your marriage stop spying on your husband, stop nagging being petty, stop seeking for for attention though you deserve it, just concentrate on being a nice good wife, do your duty as a wife and watch how things play out.

Dyt:
@girlwhocares

You are wanted here

Dyt mi

Page one was full of moronic and idiotic advise

I skipped to page 8 thinking I will see something reasonable but still nothing...

I guess she came to the wrong place.

@OP your husband clearly doesn't share the same values (trust, Integrity, empathy, humility, selflessness, care) as you.

That's only what I can say. Try and figure out the rest yourself.

Marriage is scam Scam is marriage

AshiraWealthy:
You really have time.
Just begin to package yourself nicely and bushit him. Go out often, be lively and stop wallowing In Selfpity. Treat him as though he doesn't exist. Before you know it, he'll be the one coming after you.

You sit there watching one man treat you like an abandoned property.

Actually I know a lady that used this format. Use to be a stunner when she was single. But the husband after sometime in marriage started treating her like trash.
She lost herself in the marriage.

One day she came to her senses
Watched her weight
Started dressing to kill, no send her husband again.
Na so men begin dey disturb her
Men 100times richer than her husband
Na so the husband begin para
He became threatened
The Lady never brought herself to that low again to be trashed

Most times many women loose themselves in marriage
Treated like trash by men
But some are getting wiser now

sweri u can get your hubby back! What are those ladies he winks at doing that you are not doing:figure it out. Marriage can be boring sometimes, spice it. Forget his phone. Dig no more but have a thick skin. Try and spice your life. Stop tying wrapper on your chest; shop for the sexiest clothes as house wears. Look inward; what do u need to change. Becareful the decision u make and remember that a child is involved; it's not just about the b oth of u. Value yourself please!

danot1030:


I will just advise that if you still want your marriage stop spying on your husband, stop nagging being petty, stop seeking for for attention though you deserve it, just concentrate on being a nice good wife, do your duty as a wife and watch how things play out.

so the man can infect her with STD abi? If she were to be ur sis na this kind advice u go give her abi?

djon78:



Actually I know a lady that used this format. Use to be a stunner when she was single. But the husband after sometime in marriage started treating her like trash.
She lost herself in the marriage.

One day she came to her senses
Watched her weight
Started dressing to kill, no send her husband again.
Na so men begin dey disturb her
Men 100times richer than her husband
Na so the husband begin para
He became threatened
The Lady never brought herself to that low again to be trashed

Most times many women loose themselves in marriage
Treated like trash by men
But some are getting wiser now

Hmmmmmmmmm I see the sense in your post

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franchasng:
Iceberg Slim cheated on Juliet Ibrahim, is Juliet not pretty


Jay Z cheated on Beyonce several times, is Beyonce not fine

Beckham cheated on Victoria, is Victoria not hot enough

Tiger Woods cheated on his wife, go and check her pics.

This thing has nothing to do with marrying beautiful woman oh, it's a natural curse on men that need God's grace to overcome.


Mind you, some men are faithful because they are financially broke, wait until they become financially buoyant and see.

Well most times
Very beautiful women can't hold a man down
Sometimes the not so beautiful women can hold a Man down more
Because beauty is so ephemeral
A naturally well endowed woman can hold man down more than just beautiful
They marry those pretty ones for glamour and glitz

Abeg don't disturb me biko. You yourself said shortly before your wedding you saw signs.


So since you decided to wear wedding gown and ignore the warning signs, happy married life.


Marriage is sweet depending on the cutlery you use to it(depending on who you choose to spend the rest of your life with).

He drank a little and then started winking at my friend.

My niggah...

This got me laughing.

franchasng:
Iceberg Slim cheated on Juliet Ibrahim, is Juliet not pretty


Jay Z cheated on Beyonce several times, is Beyonce not fine

Beckham cheated on Victoria, is Victoria not hot enough

Tiger Woods cheated on his wife, go and check her pics.

This thing has nothing to do with marrying beautiful woman oh, it's a natural curse on men that need God's grace to overcome.


Mind you, some men are faithful because they are financially broke, wait until they become financially buoyant and see.

spot-on!

Once he was blind now he can see,

Sweeetheart:



the bolded is not something to be proud of. you need psychological overhaul and what's with these when you get married nonsense people do chant here


you can't use your unfaithfulness to judge others. there are many married men who what concerned them most is how to build wealth, give their family financial sustainability. right from my time I don't do two ladies except when my ex was out of the state I lived


you can't marry someone with those qualities you mentioned above and still cheat, where is the love?

This is a man with this moniker.

my dear if its the eyes of your husband is causing u sleepless nights take them out please next news

franchasng:
it has nothing to do with discipline. It's only God's HELP that can help a man in that field, leave all these discipline talks, you will soon marry and I pray you become financially buoyant too so you can understand better

But there are very rich and faithful ones.
We have them around but I don't think they are many.

womanscorned:
Before I got married to my husband we had a kind of perfect relationship. I just thought he was the perfect guy. He always checked on me. I did feel like he was marrying me for ulterior motives and everyone else just thought so too. My brothers warned me that he is not going to treat me right but I just feel drawn to him. I thought he just really cared about me. He seemed different.

I introduced him to my dad and my dad asked if I was sure and yes at that moment I was. Then shortly before the wedding his true colors started to come out. I never checked his phone but then a friend caught her boyfriend cheating so I decided to just check it. Guys I understand people say that if you go looking you will find something but I actually don't really believe that why is there always something that is the main point. I checked his phone and found one boob pic and pics of his old exes. I was SO shocked. Honestly, I never thought I would find anything. He told me that he recently got his phone updated and the pic was a pic of a celebrity. But I was smarter than that I saw that it was actually an "Auntie" that sent the pic so basically one of his contacts. I was so shocked, didn't know what to do. I told my brother he told me to just pray and I did and I felt like he was still the one he apologized and assured me that he was going to change.

Fast forward to a few months later I see a girl's pic in his phone his good friend's girlfriend and he was commenting on her looks very gross-like. I lost it and we fought but he assured me it was just guy talk.

Then again I recently found him talking to his good friend about another girl's boobs and he never tells me he loves me any longer. Never really truly cares. He even brought up divorce if I wanted to do it. So I am just kind of stuck. I do want to get a divorce honestly if my parents and his would not get involved. But we have a child together. I am not sure what to do right now. Why would he do this to me? Why get married if you don't love the person. I understand that people say guys will be guys and locker room talk but if you don't love that person deeply and truly then why marry them and make a vow before God.

Now I don't know what to do. He is always so rude in the way he talks. I can't remember the last time he took me out and even if he did I am sure it would be a dry conversation. I think he really is just worried about what people say and not really losing me any longer. He has this thing where he wants to always look like a nice guy. So my question is if you were in this position how would you leave? Oh he also looks at my friends and claims he never was when it is pretty obvious. He drank a little and then started winking at my friend.

There is a saying that if he doesn't truly love God,then he can never truly love another person.

"I told my brother he told me to just pray and I did and I felt like he was still the one he apologized and assured me that he was going to change." I have an issue with Nigerians who believe that prayer would solve all their problems even when using their God-given common sense would suffice. Why on God's green earth would your brother ask you to pray when he could have offered you better advice? I am not saying that there are instances where prayers are not necessary. To me, prayers are required in instances where you have no control over a situation but not when you're in full control of the outcome. Nigerians need to get off this "prayer" high that they are on and learn to deal and solve problems on their own without relying on prayer to solve all their earthly problems. The great Maya Angelou said, "If someone tells or shows you who they are, you better believe them." This man showed you his true colors but you were blinded by love or infatuation. Good luck

just wing back...


Meanwhile...

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Integrity and confidentiality our watch words

djon78:



Actually I know a lady that used this format. Use to be a stunner when she was single. But the husband after sometime in marriage started treating her like trash.
She lost herself in the marriage.

One day she came to her senses
Watched her weight
Started dressing to kill, no send her husband again.
Na so men begin dey disturb her
Men 100times richer than her husband
Na so the husband begin para
He became threatened
The Lady never brought herself to that low again to be trashed

Most times many women loose themselves in marriage
Treated like trash by men
But some are getting wiser now

Exactly my point!

womanscorned:
Before I got married to my husband we had a kind of perfect relationship. I just thought he was the perfect guy. He always checked on me. I did feel like he was marrying me for ulterior motives and everyone else just thought so too. My brothers warned me that he is not going to treat me right but I just feel drawn to him. I thought he just really cared about me. He seemed different.

I introduced him to my dad and my dad asked if I was sure and yes at that moment I was. Then shortly before the wedding his true colors started to come out. I never checked his phone but then a friend caught her boyfriend cheating so I decided to just check it. Guys I understand people say that if you go looking you will find something but I actually don't really believe that why is there always something that is the main point. I checked his phone and found one boob pic and pics of his old exes. I was SO shocked. Honestly, I never thought I would find anything. He told me that he recently got his phone updated and the pic was a pic of a celebrity. But I was smarter than that I saw that it was actually an "Auntie" that sent the pic so basically one of his contacts. I was so shocked, didn't know what to do. I told my brother he told me to just pray and I did and I felt like he was still the one he apologized and assured me that he was going to change.

Fast forward to a few months later I see a girl's pic in his phone his good friend's girlfriend and he was commenting on her looks very gross-like. I lost it and we fought but he assured me it was just guy talk.

Then again I recently found him talking to his good friend about another girl's boobs and he never tells me he loves me any longer. Never really truly cares. He even brought up divorce if I wanted to do it. So I am just kind of stuck. I do want to get a divorce honestly if my parents and his would not get involved. But we have a child together. I am not sure what to do right now. Why would he do this to me? Why get married if you don't love the person. I understand that people say guys will be guys and locker room talk but if you don't love that person deeply and truly then why marry them and make a vow before God.

Now I don't know what to do. He is always so rude in the way he talks. I can't remember the last time he took me out and even if he did I am sure it would be a dry conversation. I think he really is just worried about what people say and not really losing me any longer. He has this thing where he wants to always look like a nice guy. So my question is if you were in this position how would you leave? Oh he also looks at my friends and claims he never was when it is pretty obvious. He drank a little and then started winking at my friend.

First off, tell you what, don't take advise from your fellow women in issues like this. You see most women don't understand men and that's fair enough since you can't understand well what isn't your experience, so women just end up reacting from an ignorant, unempathetic and self-justified position without dealing with the root cause of such issues, hence it keeps on happening. Your husband's problem is a male problem and you need to take a cue from the reasonable(not silly) suggestions of we males on here.
First, realise that this is not just about his not loving you, so you don't feel betrayed. You're both not connecting because you're not playing your role of sexually fulfilling his male needs. See, a man is heavily controlled by the triad of his eyes, his mind and his organ in a way no woman can ever relate to. This is just nature. No whining from women can change it. Study all mammals and its pretty much so. So what you can do with this info is create the connection not through the way you women may wish, just spending time together and all but through harnessing this triad circuit first before that comes into play.
You need to get into his mind, clear out every other nest(females images) and build your own fortress, not just a nest there, so you're always in his thoughts. This is done through his eyes and through his organ. For his eyes, get them to connect with you and disconnect from others automatically by understanding his body type attraction and getting your body, to the best of your ability, to fit(best but you can't kill yourself or get it so 100% perfectly). Men will always connect with the nice female body shape they see, they would even be thinking of it when its no longer there.If his taste is regular, its pretty much hourglass shape, convex tummy, protruding butt, keep your breasts and thighs as firm as possible, good looking skin, any form of fat is a turn off etc.. With all this in place, force your way into his eyes. Dress to seduce him(works better if you're not doing it to his knowledge). Let your nipples show through your house clothes(braless), wear tight fitting things at home. Don't ever see yourself as a madam, always see yourself as a glorified girlfriend still trying to secure your prize from prowling slayers. Over time of doing this, he would soon have you in mind always.
For his organ, get him to sex you, if possible daily. Sex, through the wiring of his organ, imprints your picture in his mind, usually much stronger than all other means and the more the sex, the harder it is to get rid of your image from his mind. With this there won't be enough space in his mind for other women. Demand for sex by luring him into it not by mere begging(else you turn him off). Tell him you want him to touch you today, then do it ever so often, he may not keep up always but you will definitely increase the frequency of your sex and get the desired result over time. Also always be blunt to tell him when he failed in his manly role of satisfying you, in fact if possible fake being dissatisfied, in naughty and nice ways (don't sound humiliating). What it does to men is it makes them think more about how to prove themselves in the next session and hence occupying his mind with more of yourself.
When these are done sufficiently, you would have built the thought of yourself as a fortress in his mind, then you start reaping the returns and dividends of getting your own womanly needs met. His companionship, responsibility to you and all. Thank me later.
Note: To all you women who think to try the principles here on unsuspecting male victims(not your husbands), May the rest of the women folk do same to your husband

lol...
Your husband and boobs sha...
Mad oh!

Funjosh:



Dyt mi

Shut up there...you for blind im eye Na...

Search my phone and you return to your parents

Mandelus:

Never believe you did wrong by reading your hubby chat... Both of you are one and there is no 2 .
Secondly don't mind this quote up here.
Thirdly all the things you desire him to do for you do it for him with time he will reciprocate it...
Fix a date with him
Cook his favorite.
Play with him... Ask him to please you if not he will not get his phone do it laughing.
Tell him you miss him if he is outside late (call or text).
Tell him you missed those moments you cherished while you where dating.
Secondly dress nice, mannered not like a LovePeddler but in modesty..
Kia he will see you as a mother if you will treat him as your grown up son.
Never take advice from a divorcees or widow ...

F*ck!!! you're a genius

Why did you Check your husband in a first place, you are the cause of the problem you are having with your husband, if you really want happy home for yourself stop checking his phone, you are the best for your husband, does girls outside there were just chop and go your husband will never leaves you once you stop checking his phone

Marriage na work...so work it jarey!
All these dress sexy....cook food....fix date......too much expectations on the woman
It takes 2 to tango
The dog wey wan loss no dey hear im master whistle!
The man wey no want e no want.....the woman wey no want e no want!

Starting point na to ask una selves wether una want or not
Next, na to ask or identify what to do moving forward or backward whatever the case may be and commit to it.
Marriage....like our day jobs....na work.....so if u want to continue to dey for the payroll....u gat to work!

I don dey do d work for like 19yrs now.....i just dey roll dey go bobs!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5p31F_dVJU

Mandelus:

Never believe you did wrong by reading your hubby chat... Both of you are one and there is no 2 .
Secondly don't mind this quote up here.
Thirdly all the things you desire him to do for you do it for him with time he will reciprocate it...
Fix a date with him
Cook his favorite.
Play with him... Ask him to please you if not he will not get his phone do it laughing.
Tell him you miss him if he is outside late (call or text).
Tell him you missed those moments you cherished while you where dating.
Secondly dress nice, mannered not like a LovePeddler but in modesty..
Kia he will see you as a mother if you will treat him as your grown up son.
Never take advice from a divorcees or widow ...

Also never take advice from nairaland peudo feminists who say they can;t ever get married, but they keep flocking to every story about romance and marriage.Something is wrong with those people

Kemight15:
This is why I'm scared of marriage
I'm 25 and I don't think of marrying anybody


Please leave that man ASAP before it's too late

see

It's not simple stuffs like this you tell a woman to leave her marriage. I don't see any trouble in the marriage so far. All I see is submission been her problem to let go of some things. Her marriage is not yet over, in fact I foresee happiness if does the right thing . Marriage is really sweet dear if you marry rightly. 13years now and I have never regretted. And I will never be through Jesus Christ our Lord and personal saviour.
AMEN

Kemight15:
This is why I'm scared of marriage
I'm 25 and I don't think of marrying anybody


Please leave that man ASAP before it's too late

I believe that by now, many responses would be trooping in. I can heard that someone was telling you that you should leaves your crown ASAP. please my sister, don't do that. What you need is prayer ok. I believe in God, your rib is still going to change if you can pray very well ok. There is no home without it's own challenges.