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My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us - Family (48) - Nairaland

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Ishilove: 4:22am On Mar 27, 2020
CAPSLOCKED:



how long will they keep fighting when an armistice is a better option?
truth without bias be told, many people on this thread are too dull. and they're failing this duller woman with their evil advice.
What happens when the other party doesn't want an armistice?

1 Like

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Winneygirl(f): 5:40am On Mar 27, 2020
Omar09:


Those who had children out of wedlock should not talk but bow their heads in shame.

But hell! Today's men wanna give them crown!

Should the men who had children out of wedlock bow their heads in shame too?
I just want to know how this works

6 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by crackkhaus: 6:15am On Mar 27, 2020
CeterisXVII:

....
A nicompoop like you with the intellectual density of a dead mahogany, must as a matter of urgency, never quote me again.

If you care so much, please send her a PM, get off NL and take up her issue since it hurts you enough to cause nerological spasms.

6 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Afromentalist: 6:26am On Mar 27, 2020
Vyvyanvyvy:
A lot of bad things has happened in the past week, my husband and I are no longer together. He has left the house with my 2 years old daughter so I have decided not to take matters into my own hands, have reported him to God to judge and deal with him. I have been praying naked at midnight crying on his name whenever he is he will not have peace nothing shall be well with him until he brings my daughter back. I know he is here and he will be reading. Mark my words
You should report yourself to gode, foolish e-feminist.

Because you are footing a few bills, you wanted to disrespect your husband. Now that he allows to you pay your bill and give him peace of mind, you now want to bring your fake gode into the matter. Did your gode not tell you a woman should submit to the man? Did your gode ask you to disrespect your husband because you have little change?

Did your gode recommend you to abandon your husband to go and sleep with your children from another man ?

You never obey this your gode recommendation, but you want to pray naked so that your husband will suffer. Your prayers will turn against you. In fact you should even pray naked on the road, let see if that will change anything.

You take advice from evening newspaper, non married ladies wey full here, and go and direspect your husband. The same gode you now pray naked to (He is influenced by your pussy or what ?) did you not read what the Bible says about relationships ?

That is feminism for you!

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Afromentalist: 6:34am On Mar 27, 2020
Ishilove:

80% of those gloating are not even married not to talk having kids so it is not hard for them to 'advice' her to abandon her son when he needs her the most because of one idiot somewhere. Any man that wants to come between me and the child(ren) I birthed in blood, tears and agony, let the spirit of scrotal elephantiasis locate him by fire.

Mscheeeeeeeew angry
I now understand those who say single moms should be avoided at all costs. The husband will never have priority over the child from the other relationship.

I though it was a joke, but we can now see it live and direct. Thank you Ishilove wink

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by crackkhaus: 6:47am On Mar 27, 2020
Afromentalist:

I now understand those who say single moms should be avoided at all costs. The husband will never have priority over the child from the other relationship.

I though it was a joke, but we can now see it live and direct. Thank you Ish.ilove wink
At all available costs...

Also take note:
It's these same women on the thread who preach that no one can come between them and their children that will also turn around to cry blood when their mother-in-law goes the extra length to make sure they don't come between her and the son she birthed in tears, blood, and agony.

14 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by OneChanceTaxi: 6:49am On Mar 27, 2020
It finally ended in tears and crying naked at midnight. cry

Thanks he is the one that should leave because I just renewed the rent for six months this January no way I will leave the house for him.

Remember this?

I thought you were a strong independent woman who paid the house rent and contributed 70% of household expenses?

5 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by OneChanceTaxi: 6:50am On Mar 27, 2020
crackkhaus:

At all available costs...

Also take note:
It's these same women on the thread who preach that no one can come between them and their children that will also turn around to cry blood when their mother-in-law goes the extra length to make sure they don't come between her and the son she birthed in tears, blood, and agony.

Well, the irony grin grin

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by crackkhaus: 7:09am On Mar 27, 2020
OneChanceTaxi:

Well, the irony grin grin
A really large neon display of irony...like really fvcking large, in uppercase letters cheesy

But of course, being completely engrossed in their own feelings and how the world must continually revolve around them, a lot of young women today will always fail to notice anything of importance.

7 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CAPSLOCKED: 7:10am On Mar 27, 2020
Omar09:


Those who had children out of wedlock should not talk but bow their heads in shame.

But hell! Today's men wanna give them crown!

I DON'T KNOW WHY MADAM 70% IS EVEN LOOKING FOR MARRIAGE. FOR HER TO NEGOTIATE WITH A HUSBAND WAS SO HARD, BUT GOING NAKED NOW AND SWEARING FOR HIM IS ABC. THIS IS HOW TO RECOGNIZE EVIL PEOPLE, AND FROM THE FIRST DAY SHE DROPPED HER COMPLAINTS WITH "STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN, I DO THIS, I HAVE MONEY, THIS, THOSE" I KNEW THAT MAN WAS IN CHAOS.
TO EVEN TELL THE MAN THAT HER CHILD IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THEIR MARRIAGE IS ENOUGH FOR HIM TO PACK AND GO. BUT NO. HE'LL EVEN BEG TO STAY. I JUST TIRE.
LIKE I ONCE SAID. GETTING MARRIED TO AN SM IS AN EASY TASK. BUT HOW DOES SHE BEHAVE?
I NO FIT BEAR THIS KIND DRAMA. MINOR ISSUES SHE DON BEGIN POST HER CHILD FOR STATUS "MY WORLD". "MY ALL". "THE ONLY MAN IN MY LIFE". SHE'S FLAUNTING HER "ASSETS" WHILE YOU'RE BY THE CORNER FINDING A WAY TO MAKE PEACE. cheesy

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Ishilove: 7:12am On Mar 27, 2020
Winneygirl:


Should the men who had children out of wedlock bow their heads in shame too?
I just want to know how this works
The op didn't even have the kids out of wedlock but from a previous marriage that didn't work out. What I've been reading on this thread thus far is nauseating. My skin is crawling.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 7:15am On Mar 27, 2020
Afrosage:
@Op..no matter what anyone says or does just know that you are one courageous woman.You did something so many people couldn't have done...you risked doing it alone all over again for the second time cos of your child, you are a good mom dear and God will bless you...take solace in that.
He made promises to you and he broke them ....who writes off on a 12year old,not like he is a convicted hardened criminal.He is a little boy for crissake (probably acting out) and still in his formative years and can be taught better...some of us did worse at that age and was never abandoned so why does she get to abandon her baby, why should we expect that of her? just so she would stay married? just so she wouldn't be single or be judged, mocked and condemned just cos she choose her son over everything...lols.
And those saying she should beg and all sort of things...okay...lets assumed she begged, and begged..and kept begging and the man refused vehemently..what would you have her do?
lets say she was your mum and your were the little boy, you would have grown up ecstatic knowing that your mom bundled you away to relatives or to people that never wanted you in the first place just so she could keep a man when she could have comfortably taken care of you. The kind of man that doesn't have the slightest human decency to accommodate a little boy with no where else to go......God give us kids to look after them,nurture them, make sacrifices for them e.t.c and nothing whatsoever should stop us from doing that OP....it might look and feel like hell right now but doing the right thing is never easy. Dnt mind those gloating, Time takes care of everything.


Thanks for making my morning!
Dear OP, you are a strong lady, any real man should be proud to have you as a daughter or a sister.
God bless you
(And yeah, your husband is a bad, selfish and petty man, I said it. He has proved me right with his latest act)

6 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CAPSLOCKED: 7:15am On Mar 27, 2020
Afromentalist:

I now understand those who say single moms should be avoided at all costs. The husband will never have priority over the child from the other relationship.
WHAT WON'T THIS FORUM TEACH US? IT'S ALL CLEAR TO ME NOW AND I'M READY TO GET CORONAVIRUS INSTEAD OF A SINGLE MOM.
ALL SINGLE MOM TOPICS ON THE FORUM, TWITTER, REDDIT, FACEBOOK ALL GO TOWARDS A DIRECTION. IT'S LIKE IT'S A VERY TERRIBLE BUSINESS THAT MUST BE SPEEDILY AVOIDED.

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CAPSLOCKED: 7:21am On Mar 27, 2020
OneChanceTaxi:
It finally ended in tears and crying naked at midnight. cry

Thanks he is the one that should leave because I just renewed the rent for six months this January no way I will leave the house for him.

SO WHY SWEARING NAKED WHEN HE FINALLY LEFT AS EXPECTED?
NONSENSE VICTIM MENTALITY.
THE MAN SEF NA PURE MUGU.
TO RECOVER HIS LOSS HE CAN DO WELL BY SELLING THE DAUGHTER FOR A TOKEN. AT ALL AT ALL. cheesy

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CAPSLOCKED: 7:24am On Mar 27, 2020
Ishilove:

The op didn't even have the kids out of wedlock but from a previous marriage that didn't work out.

WITH HER 70% MENTALITY, WHY DON'T SHE STAY SINGLE? SHE WILL GET MARRIED 50 TIMES AND NONE WILL WORK OUT.

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Ishilove: 7:32am On Mar 27, 2020
CAPSLOCKED:


WITH HER 70% MENTALITY, WHY DON'T SHE STAY SINGLE? SHE WILL GET MARRIED 50 TIMES AND NONE WILL WORK OUT.
The prerequisite for marriage to this man was he accepts her kids which he agreed to. Now that they are married, she doesn't burden him with her children's bills. She handles it all by herself. Now that it is time to put his mouth where his pocket is, he reneged on the agreement. I am baffled how come a lot you folks don't see anything wrong in this.

As for her remarrying, everyone deserves a chance at love, but many times people look for love in all the wrong places. The man came to the marriage with his preek and that is what he is contributing to the marriage, nothing else. Why shouldn't she beat her chest that she is mostly the breadwinner in a union where the man is supposed to be the head?

The way some people reason amazes me

14 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by sisisioge: 7:35am On Mar 27, 2020
Vyvyanvyvy:
A lot of bad things has happened in the past week, my husband and I are no longer together. He has left the house with my 2 years old daughter so I have decided not to take matters into my own hands, have reported him to God to judge and deal with him. I have been praying naked at midnight crying on his name whenever he is he will not have peace nothing shall be well with him until he brings my daughter back. I know he is here and he will be reading. Mark my words


It is well my sister, I wish you had spoken to him after bringing your son home. At least, to ease his broken ego after going against his wish and arrive at a belated plan with him. After all, if the table were reversed, you wouldn't abandon his kid too.

Anyways, please stop stressing yourself by losing sleep at night, stop crying, stop cursing him, be strong for your unborn child and the others on ground. Remember, the essence of risking it all is to be able to properly raise and care for your son...please start doing that already.

May God placate the two of you and give you the grace to resolve this matter amicably...it is not over yet maami. Don't speak the words of finale into your family life(your husband o, marriage, yours and his affairs o, your kids)... Rather pray that God gives you the strength to climb this new mountain for there is always relief at the top.

Welcome home to your son, I hope he will turn a new leaf and make your struggle worth it.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by oyoolima: 7:35am On Mar 27, 2020
From what I gather,she's swearing and crying because the man left with her other child NOT because he left so I don't understand what people are saying abi they're trying to twist the story?

Madam you made the right decision by sticking up for your child.Your husband also did well by leaving as he would have re traumatized your son with his behaviour.

While he reneged on your agreement,at least it is obvious to you that he cannot love your son.It's not his fault that he cannot ,he is not obligated to so perhaps it is in your best interest for him to find his own way than live with him causing irreparable damage to the boy.

Adults should keep their issues away from children.

Why are you leaving everything to God instead of going through the court? I don't really understand this way of thinking.You should be able to see your other child or you risk her thinking you abandoned her.

I don't understand why people remarry.You have money,you have child,why marry again?

Companionship can be bought or can be on part time basis to scratch certain itches.

A child did not ask to be brought into this world,every parent worth their salt knows this.

It is very dangerous to have a spouse who views a child as a competitor for attention. Children have their place,spouses have their place.Till a child grows up fully,it is reasonable for their interests to be put above yours as a parent to a certain extent until a balance is struck.


Nawa

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by CAPSLOCKED: 7:40am On Mar 27, 2020
Ishilove:


The man came to the marriage with his preek and that is what he is contributing to the marriage, nothing else.
Why shouldn't she beat her chest that she is mostly the breadwinner in a union where the man is supposed to be the head?

The way some people reason amazes me

YOU HAVE ARRIVED AT THE CONCLUSION FROM A SMALL CORNER OF YOUR HOUSE?
YOU SHOULD BE MORE AMAZED WITH THE WAY YOU REASON, IT'S EVEN EMBARRASSING TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Omar09(m): 7:41am On Mar 27, 2020
CAPSLOCKED:


I DON'T KNOW WHY MADAM 70% IS EVEN LOOKING FOR MARRIAGE. FOR HER TO NEGOTIATE WITH A HUSBAND WAS SO HARD, BUT GOING NAKED NOW AND SWEARING FOR HIM IS ABC. THIS IS HOW TO RECOGNIZE EVIL PEOPLE, AND FROM THE FIRST DAY SHE DROPPED HER COMPLAINTS WITH "STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN, I DO THIS, I HAVE MONEY, THIS, THOSE" I KNEW THAT MAN WAS IN CHAOS.
TO EVEN TELL THE MAN THAT HER CHILD IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THEIR MARRIAGE IS ENOUGH FOR HIM TO PACK AND GO. BUT NO. HE'LL EVEN BEG TO STAY. I JUST TIRE.
LIKE I ONCE SAID. GETTING MARRIED TO AN SM IS AN EASY TASK. BUT HOW DOES SHE BEHAVE?
I NO FIT BEAR THIS KIND DRAMA. MINOR ISSUES SHE DON BEGIN POST HER CHILD FOR STATUS "MY WORLD". "MY ALL". "THE ONLY MAN IN MY LIFE". SHE'S FLAUNTING HER "ASSETS" WHILE YOU'RE BY THE CORNER FINDING A WAY TO MAKE PEACE. cheesy

At least you understand. It's not easy to have an SM as a wife, because you will always be THAT GUY at the corner. The THIRD WHEEL!

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Omar09(m): 7:43am On Mar 27, 2020
Winneygirl:


Should the men who had children out of wedlock bow their heads in shame too?
I just want to know how this works

Does the men who get children out of wedlock find it difficult to get married too?

I just wanna know how this works.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Ishilove: 8:03am On Mar 27, 2020
CAPSLOCKED:


YOU HAVE ARRIVED AT THE CONCLUSION FROM A SMALL CORNER OF YOUR HOUSE?
YOU SHOULD BE MORE AMAZED WITH THE WAY YOU REASON, IT'S EVEN EMBARRASSING TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU.
No, far from it. You and your ilk represent what is wrong with this society. The person complaining has outlined her challenges and the root causes but you and the horde of unwashed instead are trying to defend the indefensible.

Biko it is too early for this fuckery.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Ishilove: 8:05am On Mar 27, 2020
oyoolima:
From what I gather,she's swearing and crying because the man left with her other child NOT because he left so I don't understand what people are saying abi they're trying to twist the story?
That is why I'm shaking my head at the comments here. The mind boggles undecided

[/quote]
Madam you made the right decision by sticking up for your child.Your husband also did well by leaving as he would have re traumatized your son with his behaviour.

While he reneged on your agreement,at least it is obvious to you that he cannot love your son.It's not his fault that he cannot ,he is not obligated to so perhaps it is in your best interest for him to find his own way than live with him causing irreparable damage to the boy.

Adults should keep their issues away from children.

Why are you leaving everything to God instead of going through the court? I don't really understand this way of thinking.You should be able to see your other child or you risk her thinking you abandoned her.

I don't understand why people remarry.You have money,you have child,why marry again?

Companionship can be bought or can be on part time basis to scratch certain itches.

A child did not ask to be brought into this world,every parent worth their salt knows this.

It is very dangerous to have a spouse who views a child as a competitor for attention. Children have their place,spouses have their place.Till a child grows up fully,it is reasonable for their interests to be put above yours as a parent to a certain extent until a balance is struck.


Nawa
[/quote]
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 8:22am On Mar 27, 2020
Vyvyanvyvy:
A lot of bad things has happened in the past week, my husband and I are no longer together. He has left the house with my 2 years old daughter so I have decided not to take matters into my own hands, have reported him to God to judge and deal with him. I have been praying naked at midnight crying on his name whenever he is he will not have peace nothing shall be well with him until he brings my daughter back. I know he is here and he will be reading. Mark my words

if you have money - get a lawyer. otherwise your daughter will also be living like a second class citizen. your husband almost certainly cannot take care of a child. he is a nigerian man - and he will just push your daughter onto someone else who will treat her like an addon. she is a girl so there is a bery big risk of sexual abuse. better get off those meaningless prayers and get hold of your daughter.

all the hypocrites abusing single mothers - i hope you all know it takes two to make a child - put your dicks in your pants ans stop going raw.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Winneygirl(f): 8:28am On Mar 27, 2020
Omar09:


Does the men who get children out of wedlock find it difficult to get married too?

I just wanna know how this works.

So the criterion for "bowing their heads in shame" is no longer having children out of wedlock, but difficulty in getting married?

Both man and woman are jointly responsible for any child they create.
The child does not belong to the woman more that it belongs to the Man.
We as a society should not shame people for having kids and choosing to raise them.
We as a society should hold men responsible, and not encourage men to walk out on their kids.
If there's any shame, it should be channeled to the man who abandons a child he has, not to the mother who steps up and raises the child.
I don't see why you argue that single mothers should walk in shame while the Fathers who walked away from their responsibilities should hold their heads high.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Acidosis(m): 8:33am On Mar 27, 2020
Vyvyanvyvy:
A lot of bad things has happened in the past week, my husband and I are no longer together. He has left the house with my 2 years old daughter so I have decided not to take matters into my own hands, have reported him to God to judge and deal with him. I have been praying naked at midnight crying on his name whenever he is he will not have peace nothing shall be well with him until he brings my daughter back. I know he is here and he will be reading. Mark my words

God won't answer this prayer. The decision to take your child in without his consent is not intelligent. The only man that will tolerate such on earth is your baby daddy.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Afromentalist: 8:37am On Mar 27, 2020
oyoolima:
From what I gather,she's swearing and crying because the man left with her other child NOT because he left so I don't understand what people are saying abi they're trying to twist the story?

is the child not his child too? Did he take a child that is not his?

When will you women stop this egoistical mentality ?

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Afrosage(f): 8:38am On Mar 27, 2020
Ishilove:

The op didn't even have the kids out of wedlock but from a previous marriage that didn't work out. What I've been reading on this thread thus far is nauseating. My skin is crawling.
Like eeh, most of these comments are just heart wrenching. I wonder if their parents hadn't put them first in everything,if they would be here now typing shit.
A mother's love is unconditional, a good mother can literally walk through fire and take on the whole world for her children talk less of one single man.
This issue shouldn't even be up for a debate, I don't know why she even brought it here. She already made the sacrifice of leaving that boy where he wasn't really wanted cos of house issues( and there are some women that would have insisted the boy should live in that small house with them too)but she compromised and now they have moved to a bigger house and he can't compromise....even if he couldn't do it for the woman he married and claimed to love at least he should have done it for the little boy who desperately needs his mother and has nowhere else to go.
I wonder if the bashers have taken just a minute to think about that helpless boy that has nobody but his mum, a boy that has already being labelled a thief at 11, how has he been coping, how does his little mind process all these....its not fair to him....any decision taken should be in the child's best interest and not the adults....Damn

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Acidosis(m): 8:38am On Mar 27, 2020
Winneygirl:


It is his daughter too.
When you were talking about "you and your children", did you forget that the child does not belong to you alone?
Why are you crying naked at midnight?
You said you were willing to sacrifice your marriage for your children.
He is willing to sacrifice the marriage for his child too.
You are not the victim here.
He is the victim.
You cannot do as you please just because you earn money.
.
.
You say he is on nairaland. He has been seeing your posts here on nairaland saying that your children are more important than your marriage.
Well, his child is more important than the marriage.
Stop following the wrong advise here on nairaland. Do what you should have done from the onset. Put sentiments aside and call for a meeting.
Communication and compromise.

100%

1 Like

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Acidosis(m): 8:40am On Mar 27, 2020
Afrosage:
Like eeh, most of these comments are just heart wrenching. I wonder if their parents hadn't put them first in everything if they would be here now typing shit.
A mother's love is unconditional, a good mother can literally walk through fire and take on the whole world for her children talk less of one single man.
This issue shouldn't even be up for a debate, I don't know why she even brought it here. She already made the sacrifice of leaving that boy where he wasn't really wanted cos of house issues( and there are some women that would have insisted that the boy should live in that small house with them too)but she compromised and now they have moved to a bigger house and he can't compromise....even if he couldn't do it for the woman he married and claimed to love at least he should have done it for the little boy who desperately needs his mother and has nowhere else to go.
I wonder if the bashers have taken just a minute to think about that helpless boy that has nobody but his mum, a boy that has already being labelled a thief at 11, how has he been coping, how does his little mind process all these....its not fair to him....any decision taken should be in the child's best interest and not the adults....Damn

You mean the runaway baby daddy in Italy??

1 Like

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 8:41am On Mar 27, 2020
Pemivy01:
OP wipe away your tears and trust in God. I want you to know that you did the right thing by not not abandoning your child.


A hundred percent
cool

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Afromentalist: 8:41am On Mar 27, 2020
ornicus:
all the hypocrites abusing single mothers - i hope you all know it takes two to make a child - put your dicks in your pants ans stop going raw.
we are not abusing them. They are abusing themselves. Just read what they are writing here.

How can you marry a lady that claims her children from another man will have priority over you? Who wants that kind of an ungrateful wife? If her child is so important, why come trouble my life in the name of love when the child can give all the love she wants.

Say no to single moms or live to regret it all your life. From now on, na to Bleep them and move on.

A word is enough for a mentalist.

7 Likes 1 Share

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