Taal17:


Your Mum is bitter - pure and simple
Your being around is aggravating that. She's piling all her mistakes on you. She chose your father you didnt and until she realises that she's gonna carry that bitterness to her grave. Dont let that bitter seep into you.
Leave - you don't need her permission you're an adult and carve out a life for you. You are a human being outside of whose loins you were born.

LEAVE - stop being her punching bag

Thanks for your advice bro.

faithfull18:

I already posted above, you also need to calm down. You are alive, that's a good thing. What you should be bothered about now is skilling up and stop comparing yourself with others. We are all different, some will have it easy, some will have it tough.

Also, never forget the place of God in your dealings because at the end of all these struggles, He is all that matters, don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

Thank you, I have actually drifted far from God.

SweetCunt97:
Sorry dear but it's time you take your life into your own hands. You won't be able to make any progress as long as you remain in that toxic environment. Simply go to Lagos and find a new life. Do not let your mom pour out her frustration on you. Remember she has lived out her youth, it's time you live yours.

Thank you.

HiFreda:
She's frustrated.
Seeing you unable to reach your full potential makes her feel like she failed.
.
It must not be Lagos. Ask around for odd jobs you can do in your vicinity. Working other jobs aside from her restaurant will show her that you are not content with where you are and you want to be better. No job is too small as long as you get paid. Gradually, she will be the one praying for God to bless your hustle.
Save money from this and keep trying to update your knowledge.
I know you will succeed.

I understand, especially your first line. I have opted to move out several times. Late last year she became very ill, it was just me taking care of her. Sometimes I have to rush her to the hospital in the middle of night.

Thank you, I know I will succeed too.

[quote author=LoneRanger28 post=88269596]

Chemical engineering [/quote

Jeeez...you should be earning big bucks in the industry. Look for roles in process engineering even if it's intern roles.

[quote author=Mykel51 post=88270083][/quote]

Bro I even made it to the interview stage of the just concluded NNPC recruitment, I had high hopes, but then I didn't get the APL.

I have tried so many other places & some will say it's based on recommendation.

It's a pity that atimes loved ones can stand as a stumbling block for ones success/happiness. You need to leave that toxic environment, I cannot understand why a mother should pick a knife attempting to stab her only child, your mum definitely isn't okay mentally, you are living with a maddd woman. If you study Jacob's story in the Bible, you will see how his father in-law was his stumbling block, till Jacob finally made up his mind to escape. You are a mature adult, plan ahead and leave your home, if you feel that your mum will give you the go ahead to travel to get a better life, you will definitely wait till eternity.

Yo bro, what's up?
It's a pity that the Educational system has rendered most youths/graduates Useless.
Where should we start from?
You need to roll up your sleeves -

I met a man at Elu village close to Ozoro in Delta state 2014, an illiterate. He is into catching of snails in the bush with chemicals. The chemical as at then cost #500 and when he goes into the bush at night, he sprays it which attracts the snails to them.
Sometimes he gets 2 sacks of snails or 3 on a good day. Each sack he sells 5k then and he has buyers from delta and bayelsa. That is an illiterate earning 5k to 15k at least 3 times a week with a cost of #1,500 max.
The truth is that we the educated are looking at the wrong direction to make money. We concentrate too much on certificate and looking for jobs, sitting inside AC office and pressing computers. I had the intention of doing it but i was scared of entering bush/forest at night because he goes around 9pm and comes back around 4am.

Other things you can do are -

Go to market and learn from anybody into Egg selling in bulk like a distributor. learn the trade for like 3 months and from there you can start yours. Low capital start-up of 50-100k should be okay for a start.
Meet cow butchers and learn the trade for free or about 3 months at abbartior/market after which you can have your stand and pair with someone to buy and share a cow of 120k to sell per day. You should get good profit.
Learn popcorn or donut/puff puff frying and selling at junctions from a good maker for some weeks and start yours later.
You can still be working for your mum while you start snail rearing in your compound. It takes a small place to set-up, quite business and not stressful. You feed them once a day around evening.
Meet fresh catfish sellers at a moving junction in your area. Work with them for free for about 2 months to learn the business. How they sell, where they buy and how they preserve. After which you can set up your stand also.
Go to market and meet abokis into Onion, dry and fresh pepper selling. Learn the biz for free fro some months and start yours.

All these businesses are businesses with low start-up capital which can make you stand if you are diligent after few years. maybe 1-3 years.
Think about it.
There are many more but let me stop here.

I'm not saying you're lying but after reading that thread by takunlandd, I knew so many scammers will seize the opportunity and start cooking up fake stories.


Well, I hope you get the help you need if your story is true.

What state do you live in with your mum?

LoneRanger28:


Chemical engineering

My heart is very pained. May God be with you. Don't give up. See if you can pursue a career in Safety,Coating Inspection,Logistics or any way you could lay your hand. Leave home but always keep in touch with your mum.

emmaodet:
Yo bro, what's up?
It's a pity that the Educational system has rendered most youths/graduates Useless.
Where should we start from?
You need to roll up your sleeves -

I met a man at Elu village close to Ozoro in Delta state 2014, an illiterate. He is into catching of snails in the bush with chemicals. The chemical as at then cost #500 and when he goes into the bush at night, he sprays it which attracts the snails to them.
Sometimes he gets 2 sacks of snails or 3 on a good day. Each sack he sells 5k then and he has buyers from delta and bayelsa. That is an illiterate earning 5k to 15k at least 3 times a week with a cost of #1,500 max.
The truth is that we the educated are looking at the wrong direction to make money. We concentrate too much on certificate and looking for jobs, sitting inside AC office and pressing computers. I had the intention of doing it but i was scared of entering bush/forest at night because he goes around 9pm and comes back around 4am.

Other things you can do are -

Go to market and learn from anybody into Egg selling in bulk like a distributor. learn the trade for like 3 months and from there you can start yours. Low capital start-up of 50-100k should be okay for a start.
Meet cow butchers and learn the trade for free or about 3 months at abbartior/market after which you can have your stand and pair with someone to buy and share a cow of 120k to sell per day. You should get good profit.
Learn popcorn or donut/puff puff frying and selling at junctions from a good maker for some weeks and start yours later.
You can still be working for your mum while you start snail rearing in your compound. It takes a small place to set-up, quite business and not stressful. You feed them once a day around evening.
Meet fresh catfish sellers at a moving junction in your area. Work with them for free for about 2 months to learn the business. How they sell, where they buy and how they preserve. After which you can set up your stand also.
Go to market and meet abokis into Onion, dry and fresh pepper selling. Learn the biz for free fro some months and start yours.

All these businesses are businesses with low start-up capital which can make you stand if you are diligent after few years. maybe 1-3 years.
Think about it.
There are many more but let me stop here.

Thank you for the detailed information.

24kmagic:
I'm not saying you're lying but after reading that thread by takunlandd, I knew so many scammers will seize the opportunity and start cooking up fake stories.


Well, I hope you get the help you need if your story is true.

My story is true, I'm not asking anyone for money, scam have no place in this post. Thank you all the same.

Unelephantable:
What state do you live in with your mum?

Plateau state.

Amhappy:


My heart is very pained. May God be with you. Don't give up. See if you can pursue a career in Safety,Coating Inspection,Logistics or any way you could lay your hand. Leave home but always keep in touch with your mum.

Thanks for your advice.

LoneRanger28:


Plateau state.

Plateau state? Wow!

Vegetables and other farm produce are really very cheap there, and you can take the opportunity to source for interested customers in other states...that is if you're trustworthy

Are you interested?

MariaAngeles:


Plateau state? Wow!

Vegetables and other farm produce are really very cheap there, and you can take the opportunity to source for interested customers in other states...that is if you're trustworthy

Are you interested?

Yes, I am.

LoneRanger28:


Yes, I am.

What's produce is available and cheap right now?

MariaAngeles:


What's produce is available and cheap right now?

I'm not sure. The state will be on lockdown from tomorrow to next week Thursday.

Bro.. I read ur post .... Didn't want to comment but just had to..

Pls note, ur mum doesn't hate you, it is just one of those feelings that comes when an individual over depend on someone else.. It is normal...

Dude... You just gotta leave man!! I don't know how ur finance is, but if you can provide an accommodation for yourself elsewhere while looking for a job, and at the sametime engaging in few little jobs for utility payment purposes ...then you would be fine.... Because trust me, this situation you going through right now has killed a lot of young folks out there....

Summary of my post is ...."Leave The House please!!!'

LoneRanger28:


I'm not sure. The state will be on lockdown from tomorrow to next week Thursday.

OK. Let's hook up on WhatsApp yeah?
Can I have you number? My email to this monicker isn't functional

SweetCunt97:
Sorry dear but it's time you take your life into your own hands. You won't be able to make any progress as long as you remain in that toxic environment. Simply go to Lagos and find a new life. Do not let your mom pour out her frustration on you. Remember she has lived out her youth, it's time you live yours.

listen to this advice.
Especially the part that says she has lived out her youth.
Think about it.

LoneRanger28:


Thanks. I have some money, I just can't travel now due to the lockdown.

Your mum is probably also frustrated at your lack of progress. You have to man up and decide his you want to move on to do other things to develop yourself even if it means leaving your parent house.

You don't need her permission, you only need her prayers.

I believe your legs aren't tied?
Leave the home,go find your own path.

Your mother loves you,she is all you have and you are all she has.
Her recent behaviour is as a result of not yet fulfilled expectations she had . She expected that by now you would be the one giving to her and taking good care of her. I know she is not taking it well,but please bear with her.
God will give you a job soon. You will see how she will start respecting you. I experienced something like this when I was job from certain family members, though mine is not as deep as yours.
There's light at the end of the tunnel.

ahnie:
I believe your legs aren't tied?
Leave the home,go find your own path.

Yea the way you did with your pussy,but he is a guy,he doesn't have a bottomless hole.

Greatzeus:

Yea the way you did with your pussy,but he is a guy,he doesn't have a bottomless hole.

Your level of stupidity is amazing!

Guy just stand up and leave, go and hustle...
I know you will be afraid on who will be doing all the things you help your mum do but let me tell you, if you leave today your mum will not die and all those things you think can't be done without you, she will find a way and all of them will be done.

My story is a little bit like yours, I left for a job in a city I don't even have who to accommodate me, I have to sleep in Warehouse almost 2months before I could raise money to pay 3months rent...

But God is great cos where I am now, I never believed I will even get to half of it by this time in my life.

LoneRanger28:
I was inspired to pour out my heart after reading this thread (https://www.nairaland.com/5780636/lost-job-girlfriend-dumped-me) by Tankunland .


I really don't know how to begin, as I'm currently typing with tears in my eyes while contemplating suicide. I had to create this new account in order to post this, because I'm active on my main account and a few nairalanders have my mobile contact.

I'm the only child of my mother, raises by her alone. My dad left when I was very young and remarried. All my life mother have been my king and I love her respect her alot.

I graduated 4 years ago and went for NYSC. Started job hunting and sent CVs to so many places, written several tests and got invited for interviews but somehow I never get called. I have so many people promise me a job only for them to stop picking my calls, or they will pick and promise to call back, yet no one calls.

I retired to helping my mom in her shop, while applying for jobs and download YouTube videos at night to learn a skill, but it has been difficult for me since my mom operates a mini bar and restaurant. I go to the shop every morning, I wash the plates, clean the places, fetch water and attend to customers.

My mom is aging and I understand. As at last year she started becoming irritated with anything I do, she finds fault in the smallest thing I do. She will scream at me in public and hull insults at me. I told early last year to let me go to Lagos and join some friends, so that I can actively job hunt but she refused.

She insisted that I should be applying and managing the beer parlour. This beer parlour business does not give me anytime to develop myself because I go to shop Monday-Sunday, morning till night 9pm upwards. And I feel very weak whenever I return home, so I will just sleep off.

I do not have any social life, as I do not have the luxury of time to mingle with friends, I do not even have a girlfriend because I understand that it can be time demanding.

Today after cleaning the shop as usual and fetching water, I told my mom that I need to go home and feed the dogs and also fetch water at home she agreed. It wasn't up to 30 minutes she called me on the phone and said I left her to be suffering in the shop. I was surprised and I replied "mom I just left & I told you what i was going to do at home". She yelled.

I had to end the call, out off the fire I already set for the dog food and dashed back to the shop. On reaching there she started yelling and cursing me, saying I'm very lazy. I felt very sad and said mom but I just left here now, why are you disgracing me in this public place?

She kept yelling, people gathered and she took a knife saying she will kill me. I couldn't utter a word, I cried like a baby and left the shop, came back home. I took my bath, then she came home and started cursing me, cursing my father (that I'm irresponsible like him) that God will punish me.

I kept crying, neighbors had to rush in. She seized my keys and went out with it.

The reason I decided to type this information here today is because this is not the first nor second time that this is happening. All the people that live around my house can testify that o don't do anything stupid, I don't smoke, o don't womanize, I don't steal, I don't disrespect people, I only mind my business and try to see that I do the right things.

But my mom keeps piling pressure on me and telling me that I'm the reason why her life is like this, that she regrets giving bet to me, she says so many words to me. Most times I cry and ask God to just take my life if what I'm doing is not enough.

I don't know what to do, I didn't ask to be born, I wish I have siblings from her, I'm really loosing my mind. I know I'm doing my best, but to my mom I'm not doing anything, yet she refuses to let me go and hustle.

I know suicide is not the way and it is what cowards do, but I'm really tired, I'm drained emotionally, I love her and I really want to make her proud and happy. But nothing seems to be working well for me.

Please someone with similar experience, or someone that understands what I have written up there, please help me, I'm dieing inside, I don't what to do or how to manage this anymore. I think of taking my life but I know it is not the right thing to do.

Please

Sorry for passing through such a painful situation that you don't even know when it will end

I will suggest you change location because you can't achieve much as your freedom is limited

Try and continue to be a good boy, save enough money while doing that, plan with any of your friends if they can accommodate you so tgat youive down to Lagos to hustle

Before living, if there are any of your mum family members that do come around to spend days with you guys, visit that person, tell the person your plans

If she arrives today take off the next day, the presence of your visitor will calm her down while she feels your absence

She can only suffer the shock for one week and there after learn how to cope
When get to Lagos, settle down and all her the next day and apologise for leaving with out her notice but assure her that you relocated to make life easy for her

That she should pray for you so that you will succeed in anything you want to do

Ge0grapher:
Bro.. I read ur post .... Didn't want to comment but just had to..

Pls note, ur mum doesn't hate you, it is just one of those feelings that comes when an individual over depend on someone else.. It is normal...

Dude... You just gotta leave man!! I don't know how ur finance is, but if you can provide an accommodation for yourself elsewhere while looking for a job, and at the sametime engaging in few little jobs for utility payment purposes ...then you would be fine.... Because trust me, this situation you going through right now has killed a lot of young folks out there....

Summary of my post is ...."Leave The House please!!!'

Thank you.

MariaAngeles:


OK. Let's hook up on WhatsApp yeah?
Can I have you number? My email to this monicker isn't functional

Okay please mail me @

Resurgent2016:


Your mum is probably also frustrated at your lack of progress. You have to man up and decide his you want to move on to do other things to develop yourself even if it means leaving your parent house.

You don't need her permission, you only need her prayers.

I agree, thank you.