gentle70:
That's your friend's (wife) part of the story... She'll definitely tell you the story in a way that favours her (that won't make her guilty). There's more to it that she may have refused to tell you. By the way, if the wife is a banker... how much is FOAM that she can't buy in order to improvise and manage pending the time her in-laws will leave? Assuming it was her relatives that came visiting, I'm sure that this kind of topic will not originate from your friend. Ladies matter is a course of study on it's own
Even a Court will hear from both parties before advising/making necessary judgement. Unless I hear from both parties... I rather remain on the fence.

Big stout for u.....oil de your head

I am tire of mother in law story government have to do something about it

funny...I don't want to believe on this stories. this is formulated stories.

He should marry his mother. The woman has no fault in this. What is wrong in asking?

instinct57vm:
I have a female friend who got married last year October precisely.

Fast forward to March this year the Mother In Law came to stay with the couple in a bid to visit her hospital within the couple’s area for medical checkup, reason being that she stays a bit farther away in the same state.

Upon her Mother in law’s arrival, she came with my friend’s husband brother accompanied by his girlfriend who all planned staying and eventually stayed without prior notice.

My friend(the lady) is a banker and was only informed casually by her husband while she was at work on the day of their arrival. His excuse was the mother called impromptu about the visit which I don’t think is bad anyway.

These couple stay in a three bedroom apartment and only one room has bed in it. This is the room the couple sleep.

The first two days of the mother inlaw, brother and brother’s girlfriend arrival, the couple had to sleep in the living room while the mother in law and the brother in law’s girlfriend slept in the couple’s room.

As days goes by, the husband who is self employed suggested the the rest of them will handle cooking in the house due to the wife’s tight schedule as per banking job in Lagos.

Part of the consequence of their visit is that they have overthrown the kitchen and like most ladies my friend wasn’t cool with this but tried to keep her cool.

The lady(my friend) became curious and asked the husband to clarify if the mother in law and co intends to stay with them permanently. The husband subsequently flared up with the allegations that his wife doesn’t want his people around. This happened to be the third time his wife asked this question in the space of two weeks.

One thing led to the other on the third time of asking this question my friends husband beat her up and chased her out of the house while the mother stood and watched without interfering.

Efforts to reconcile has proved abortive as the husband refused to let her in again and categorically said to my friend’s dad he isn’t interested in the marriage anymore. The mother in law refused to interfere.

PS: The hubby’s mother is a separated single mother.
PS: My friend and her hubby both contributed to pay the rent
PS: The hubby’s father is not in support of all the happenings and all efforts to reach his son proved abortive since the misunderstanding. He wouldn’t answer his dad’s calls.

What are your opinions about this issue? Thank you.

From what you have said, the visit was initiated by your friend's husband all in looking for a way to send the wife away:
1. No proper arrangements before their coming
2. Making the wife to sleep in the living room ( what's the cost of mattress?)
3. He doesn't want the wife to know or have an idea about their staying
4. He starts beating the wife for a question asked
5. Why beating the wife the mother's in-law never interfered
6. He refuses to pick the dad's calls

There are more to this issue, try to get more findings about this.
For now just tell your friend to forget about the marriage and move on with her life if at all she has not given the husband a baby yet. Wish her luck

instinct57vm:
Uncle this happened for real and there are even alot more ridiculous happenings in marriages.
If you think its cooked up still then no offence you will learn with time. Life na stage by stage

This marriage is ended na.
The man does not love his wife. Can she force him to love her?
He hates her, beat her up and sent her packing. What again doea she want?
Let her stay somewhere else.
She can file for divorce in court. She made a mistake marrying the idiot

ManOfSteel2:
Family issues are best sorted out internally!

ManOfSteel will never interfere

GOD BLESS YOU . THEY SHOULD DEAL WITH IT. EVEN THOUGH IT IS ONE OF THE COCK AND BULL STORIES OF NAIRANAD.

Millenniumlady:
The man just played himself he'll leave to regret the curse of his actions.......how dare you take side With your mother when i'm your wife which automatically makes me your new mum ......Ladies never you marry a guy that's so close to his mum if you want a successful marriage.

Your comment shows the kind of breed you are and the way you was brought up. Incase you don't know, after God Almighty is the mother. You can't replace your mother with a woman. The husband in question is just stupid and his decision on his spouse unfortunate and he should be responsible for his action not his mother.

solmus:



Nigerian women are generally wicked, were is the love? are we saying 5 people cant share 3 rooms and a parlour peacefully without quarrel ? My first time outside the country I spent almost a month in a tiny apartment with 2 rooms and a parlour, the husband and wife shares one room, their daughter and the man's neice shared another, while I slept in the seating room with the husbands younger brother.. we all enjoyed our time together and contributed to pay bills, buy groceries.. we hide from neighbors to avoid being reported for being overcrowded and early in the morning everyone is out of the door , saying our goodbyes at the subway station

Its absolute lack of love that make Nigerian women hate house helps and husbands family, they would even treat their kitchen like its a sacred temple meant for only them.. whats the big deal if anyone cooks while the wife is away, and once she's back she microwaves it and eat? the other occupants in the house can make themselves useful by cleaning the house and making everywhere tidy, and in the evening after meal they can all share stories or watch a movie together


.

Bros....
I don't think this is about Nigerian women imo.
Did you just drop in on the couple you stayed with then or you informed them you were coming beforehand?

I understand about the mother in law but which one is the brother in law's girlfriend? Not even a wife...

Some people just have this warped mentality...
What do I know sef?

I hate this kind of scenerio. When you have a mother in law who lacks understanding,the marriage is in problem already.
The young lady should just pick herself up and start all over again because she won’t have peace in the marriage where the mother in law is the problem.

My kind of guy, I would never let any bitch mess with my mother, not in this world or the other world, if you are not comfortable with family visit, you pack out. I am very sure apart from those three times she asked her husband question about his mother visit, there are many words unsaid before then which happened to piss her husband up by reading meaning to her behavior towards his mother before asking her to pack out.

instinct57vm:
I .

Tell her to move on. She should count her blessings. At least they don't have children. This issue of MIL are powerful. It can never end well especially when a man is a mummy's boy and the mother has the remote in her hand. She should run as fast as she can. Some MIL are wicked. They are just out to frustrate their son's wife. Some go as far as controlling the marriage. Just run

Do you know if she asked so as to know whether to provide a bed and other essentials that are needed?

solmus:



may you witness same as a mother, may your son treat you the same way you suggest someones mother be treated... may you son's wife also keep asking for when you would leave the house of the child you spent every penny you begged for online to train say amen if you agree to your own comment

Ningen:
Shit. Is like there's a vendetta on Nairaland to discourage single folks from getting married.

If you allow other people's failures or discouragements to discourage you, you will never leave your bed in the mornings.

Millenniumlady:
The man just played himself he'll leave to regret the curse of his actions.......how dare you take side With your mother when i'm your wife which automatically makes me your new mum ......Ladies never you marry a guy that's so close to his mum if you want a successful marriage.

Your postulation is not totally true. You will be a mother too (that is if you aren't one already) and your son should be close to you. What every lady intending to marry should ensure is marrying a man that loves and respects her and who has mind of his own, cause some men get directions from their friends.

Olodo, marry your mother the queen of all bitches.

pacespot:
My kind of guy, I would never let any bitch mess with my mother, not in this world or the other world, if you are not comfortable with family visit, you pack out. I am very sure apart from those three times she asked her husband question about his mother visit, there are many words unsaid before then which happened to piss her husband up by reading meaning to her behavior towards his mother before asking her to pack out.

No one is talking about the brother inlaw and his girlfriend.. 2weeks for an impromptu stay..

com'n, my mum could stay that long but not my brother and the supposed girlfriend. I'm married and I need space, so does my wife too.

Forget the story is one-sided or not, the husband should respect his wife space too.

She should be happy she's out of such a dreadful family

Millenniumlady:
The man just played himself he'll leave to regret the curse of his actions.......how dare you take side With your mother when i'm your wife which automatically makes me your new mum ......Ladies never you marry a guy that's so close to his mum if you want a successful marriage.

Your spellings are absurd

It is live and not leave

It is consequence and not curse

stabilizer:


Baffling? Really? Thought birds of the same gender would flocks together in this ....

There are so many ways her thought process was wrong. And how exactly did you come about this particular bird of feather analogy?

I am sure the couple has no child yet.

Millenniumlady:
The man just played himself he'll leave to regret the curse of his actions.......how dare you take side With your mother when i'm your wife which automatically makes me your new mum ......Ladies never you marry a guy that's so close to his mum if you want a successful marriage.

Bad wife spotted. Hope eyes won't chuck you when your sons are grown and ready for marriage. Women are the most selfish creatures on earth. Always want to eat their cake and have it.

I love my moma till death, it's better to be a mummies boy than be a wife's boy. The Op's story is incomplete. It's the responsibility of couples to mend families together not creating division. Woman are dam selfish gosh, if it was the wife's mom that came to visit she wouldn't be Complaining. I'll only judge the husband until I hear his side of the story. If the woman sees the man's family as her own they won't be any problem.

Millenniumlady:
The man just played himself he'll leave to regret the curse of his actions.......how dare you take side With your mother when i'm your wife which automatically makes me your new mum ......Ladies never you marry a guy that's so close to his mum if you want a successful marriage.

Just listen to yourself. So a man should forget a woman who gave her life, brought her up,etc simply because of another woman. No true woman will say this thing you just threw out of your lips. The man didn't act manly. In this kind of situation, a true man will not take sides but broker a lasting (sustainable) peace.

I hope you're not feeding the younger girls this kind of meal? They will either suffer kwashiorkor or marasmus as what you just dished is far from a balanced diet.

Millenniumlady:
The man just played himself he'll leave to regret the curse of his actions.......how dare you take side With your mother when i'm your wife which automatically makes me your new mum ......Ladies never you marry a guy that's so close to his mum if you want a successful marriage.

If you become close to your son, hope you know what that means?

Note, if the story is true, i don't support what the man did. If no other thing, the lady should get a refund of her contribution to the rent, minus the pro rata share of her stay there. But when you put in to consideration that she was sent out without an official agreement terminating her cotenancy, she is entitled to compensation.

This is plan work by the in law mother . Please, allow God to fight for you.

oglalasioux:
They brought another wife for your friend's husband. The girlfriend of mother inlaw's brother is actually a new wife for your friend's husband. They were just waiting for the perfect time to throw your friend out.

Some mothers are made by the devil himself.

Not far from the truth

Family Affair That Should Be Settled Amicably

oglalasioux:
They brought another wife for your friend's husband. The girlfriend of mother inlaw's brother is actually a new wife for your friend's husband. They were just waiting for the perfect time to throw your friend out.

Some mothers are made by the devil himself.

l see sense in this, maybe for the woman putting her job in front of the other expectations, I guess the husband's family needs children from the couple which they believe our banker lady is not prepared for now

Your friend unnecessarily over reacted, which made hubby to feel like she doesn't want his mum around. No man will prefer his wife by his side ahead of his mum. Men's connection with their mum is unimaginable.
You are one with very tight schedule, and so can hardly do anything in the kitchen during the week, why not chill and "take over" your kitchen back in the weekends? Now it has escalated to not wanting to see her mother in law around.
We all know how demanding mother in laws can be. She, most times, is just 'testing' the wife.

srclark:
if it was her own mother and her brother that came visiting will she complain ? Why are ladies selfish when it comes to this aspect of marriage.Their family is welcome to their home anytime and can stay as long as they please ,but once they see the husbands family they start asking useless questions after a few days .Better tell your friend to better be patient and go beg her husband

Go beg her husband for what exactly? For getting beaten up for rightly voicing out her displeasure at the prospect of her in-laws colonising her home?


Let's be honest with ourselves, if this story is true and happened as narrated, then the man is dead wrong, he's an idiot and it won't be advisable for any self-respecting woman to remain stuck in such a union with him in the name of marriage.

instinct57vm:
I have a female friend who got married last year October precisely.

Fast forward to March this year the Mother In Law came to stay with the couple in a bid to visit her hospital within the couple’s area for medical checkup, reason being that she stays a bit farther away in the same state.

Upon her Mother in law’s arrival, she came with my friend’s husband brother accompanied by his girlfriend who all planned staying and eventually stayed without prior notice.

My friend(the lady) is a banker and was only informed casually by her husband while she was at work on the day of their arrival. His excuse was the mother called impromptu about the visit which I don’t think is bad anyway.

These couple stay in a three bedroom apartment and only one room has bed in it. This is the room the couple sleep.

The first two days of the mother inlaw, brother and brother’s girlfriend arrival, the couple had to sleep in the living room while the mother in law and the brother in law’s girlfriend slept in the couple’s room.

As days goes by, the husband who is self employed suggested the the rest of them will handle cooking in the house due to the wife’s tight schedule as per banking job in Lagos.

Part of the consequence of their visit is that they have overthrown the kitchen and like most ladies my friend wasn’t cool with this but tried to keep her cool.

The lady(my friend) became curious and asked the husband to clarify if the mother in law and co intends to stay with them permanently. The husband subsequently flared up with the allegations that his wife doesn’t want his people around. This happened to be the third time his wife asked this question in the space of two weeks.

One thing led to the other on the third time of asking this question my friends husband beat her up and chased her out of the house while the mother stood and watched without interfering.

Efforts to reconcile has proved abortive as the husband refused to let her in again and categorically said to my friend’s dad he isn’t interested in the marriage anymore. The mother in law refused to interfere.

PS: The hubby’s mother is a separated single mother.
PS: My friend and her hubby both contributed to pay the rent
PS: The hubby’s father is not in support of all the happenings and all efforts to reach his son proved abortive since the misunderstanding. He wouldn’t answer his dad’s calls.

What are your opinions about this issue? Thank you.

Since the lady contributed towards the rent check of the apartment, the guy should refund the wife's contribution back to her with interest

Ningen:
Shit. Is like there's a vendetta on Nairaland to discourage single folks from getting married.

i thought I was the only one that observes it, any topic about love, the advice u will see there most is "it will end in tear", "do people still love in this era" and so on.