Very simple solution, you guys should compromise. She keeps being a muslim nd you keep being a christian. As long as u can cope with her religion nd she can cope with yours. Neither of u have to convert unless its a personal decision. Just do traditional marriage, not nikkai or white wedding. The problem is getting her fathers blessing if u are brave enough to talk to her father, just make sure you are well to do and can take care of his daughter.
The simple issue is if u want her enough, guy no wife again for outside o. Right now it seems she is the only one fighting for u guys to be together. Be brave nd find a way to reach her father or betterstill her mother, whoever is cool headed out of her parents.

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Bros, I’m currently in your shoes. Broke up with the love of my life in March. We genuinely loved each other but her father wouldn’t let her marry a Christian, so no point going on. Aside that, the kind of person I am, even if she agreed to change her religion, I would always feel the guilt I made her change conditionally(because of marriage), and not absolutely willingly. I’m still heartbroken but, it’s what it’s!.

This doesn’t mean we’ve not had cases where the marriage was eventually successful. So my advice for you is “ que sera sera “ what would be would be. But make the best rational decision to avoid stories that touch in the future.

Selah.

PattyMike:
Very simple solution, you guys should compromise. She keeps being a muslim nd you keep being a christian. As long as u can cope with her religion nd she can cope with yours. Neither of u have to convert unless its a personal decision. Just do traditional marriage, not nikkai or white wedding. The problem is getting her fathers blessing if u are brave enough to talk to her father, just make sure you are well to do and can take care of his daughter.
The simple issue is if u want her enough, guy no wife again for outside o. Right now it seems she is the only one fighting for u guys to be together. Be brave nd find a way to reach her father or betterstill her mother, whoever is cool headed out of her parents.

There can't be a comprise in the wedding, she needs to do Nikkah as a muslim.

philipnero1419:
una get luck say no be Kano or Zamfara state una de, una for don hear nwiiii sinnnnnnnnnnnnce

Because Kano and Zamfara people are cannibals, or what's your point?

I realy feel ur pain cus you have d same experience with me.Firstly, note that is not easy to find a genuine love like that of ur babe. Am a Muslim and my babe is a Christian ( a Withness).We dated for 10 years and all my effort to cut off d relationship was to no avail, because her dad did not want us together just CU's of religion.She truelly love me,there was no issue from my own family.We contemplated many option.In short, after her graduation, She got pregnant for me, her dad started threatening me, but as God will, d Mom call call me that her dad want to see me, I was afraid, but summon caurage I went with my friend, to my surprised d man asked me if I truely love her daughter and if am d that got her pregnant.We are blessed with 2 kids now.No wahala. Bro if u truely love her get her pregnant and pray.

My advice to you is to break things immediately. Inter faith marriage always have loads of problems, from the families involved, to even the both of you and the children. The children especially are the focal point here. I have an uncle who married a Christian lady, their marriage is about 20 years now, but this man has been largely unhappy for most part of the marriage. Why? All his children have followed their mother's faith. The children have both english and islamic names, but they are staunch Christians courtesy of their mother.

Under Islamic law, the woman needs for Nikkah to take place before she is legally married and I don't think your family would attend that process in a thousand years. A court or church wedding is also what appeals to you, and I don't think her family would be a part of that, especially as you mentioned her dad is kind of famous.
The question should be are the both of you ready to fight through every tribulation? Love is a warm, cozy feeling. When you are in love you feel anything is possible, but remember this is real life and not a romance novel. Marriage is hard, hard work. Things don't always work out well, things get ugly and your differences would rear their head every now and then. Are you ready for that? Have a talk with this lady, the both of you should come to a decision. If you want to go ahead with the wedding, fine. Convince your parents, try very very hard to convince them. If it doesn't go through, then fine, it means you both were never meant to be.

I've seen comments of people saying you should impregnate her, I don't know if that was meant as a joke. But don't do it. You would be forcing her to commit a sin(Zina). Her family would even be less forthcoming then. It could be disastrous.

Teebaba30:


Thanks so much bro, But what about been disowned BT our parents ? the danger that associate with it.

What about been disowned?
This question confirms that you are still a kid. You are still in the incubator of your parents. You have not seen and passed through hard times. You are not yet responsible for yourself. You are still relishing the warm love and protection of your parents. No wonder the girl is more mature and daring than you.

If you have passed through all these stages, you will surely know that disowning someone for taking a stance is irrelevant. The negative aspect of disowning me is if I turn out to be useless. If am not sure of where am going, I won't give them the chance to disown me. But if am sure I will turn out well, if am sure of my love for the girl and if been with the girl makes me happy and fulfilled, they can disown me a 1000x.

After disowning you, in few years time, they will beg to see you. They will kill cow to celebrate your return. Everybody wants to be friends with success. Just make sure you don't live a reckless life. The girl will do anything to make you successful. She will go to any lengths to make you very wealthy. Make sure to manage her love and money well. U don't know how lucky you are.

But if you are not happy with the girl or if you don't love her, pls, free her.

If you can't get over other girls and if there are many girls who make you happy, if this particular girl is not special or unique to you in any way, pls, free her.
If you are still fantasising the company and love of other girls because you are intelligent and handsome, pls, free her. If you think you are too good for just one girl, pls, free her. If you think you will come across better girls that are more pretty or rich or intelligent, pls free her. If your mind skip a bit in the negative direction at the sight or thought of the girl, pls, free her. Finally, if you are not sure of the future with her, pls and pls, free her.

Think before you act

Never let religion dictate your love life which is personal to you. Religion is a subjugation of the mind. quote author=Teebaba30 post=89355300]There is this lady I have been dating now for almost eleven years (11) she was my first love, we started dating while I was still in my final stage of secondary school, things were moving smoothly, as we are both new in the game of love.

I could remembered, then, mtn with their free night calls, we would talk from 12am to 5:00am then, she is the daughter to the king of the town, a well known king in Lagos state, but along the line, as we progress in line, owing to my fine boy of a thing,.

You know we guys when we sense that, it seems all lady want us, due to our cute look, or academic reasons, we take the advantage to flirt, of which she so much detest a cheating guy, she caught me times without number, but still hard for both of us to let go our anyone, after my higher institution,

I relocated to Lagos to start life and keep the hustle real, but this lady was in Lagos with mom, she keep coming to my place even in Lagos, but unfortunately, we lost contact, for seven years, we couldn't reach ourselves, then i decided to relocated to another location in Lagos

But just last month, her call came, that she saw my contact on Facebook, And we try to renew the relationship, that's how we started and doing fine, she's now in her final year At Fountain University, Oshogbo,

Now the problem facing us now is, She is a Muslim, while am a Christian, her parent will never allow her to convert, while my own parent will never allow me to convert, and now we are madly in love, she try to convinced her dad, but all effort was prove abortive.

We love ourselves so much, but religion is the barrier facing us now, we are both planning to run away from the country, she promised to foot all bills for our travelling, but I told her we should try just be friend as our religion is the barrier here now.

If not for the religion issue, we plan to have our introduction this year, and get wedded next year, but religion want to truncate the whole plans,

Pls fellow nairalanders, your advice is urgently needed now, we are both confused, with no option, we can't let go of anyone, and yet we don't want our parent to turn back to us,

She keeps crying everyday, even I myself, and in the state of confused now,.

SHOULD WE QUIT THE RELATIONSHIP OR WHAT SHOULD WE DO NOW..?

[/quote]

Well,i hope nairaland will hv a better way of listening commemt as the last one should be seen first, then the rush will reduce.

From experience if you both marry..your family of the man may first be mad but will later accept it in Gods will. But her own family will dis own her, they will attack your marriage spirituall so that it will crash. You will face enough spiritual attack from the ladies sides. All her sibling will dispwn her as well.

kelvinatkins:

I am really surprised with the way you handle your family affair. When you gave birth to your kids, who conducted the naming ceremony was it a Pastor or Imam? Actually am having the same issue and mine is somehow complicated apart from being Christian and Muslim, it’s also Igbo and Yoruba affair.

Usually when it's like this, the husband take charge of every other responsibilities after their marriage, which would definitely go the way of the bride's family. Once their child enters your house, you take charge, though you may give only her freedom of her faith and believe.

Bro run as fast as you u can. Forget it telling you from experience.

My opinion

LuQuLuQu:
Your grammar gave me migraine and I have taken pain killers. I'd advise you when I feel better..

bro upload your waec result let see what you got in English

adams123:
No try fornication because Bible says NO to it. Convert to lslam then get ready to learn lslam because lslam requires a lot of learning. And if you can't convert then leave the girl alone because is prohibited for a Muslim lady to marry Christian guy. But Christian lady can MarryMuslim guy.

Mad man, it is also prohibited for a Christian lady to marry a Muslim guy. Any Christian lady that marries a Muslim is nothing but a bastard.

What is good for the gander is also good for the goose... Ina think say na only INA get sense for that ina religion abi...

ajes:
I realy feel ur pain cus you have d same experience with me.Firstly, note that is not easy to find a genuine love like that of ur babe. Am a Muslim and my babe is a Christian ( a Withness).We dated for 10 years and all my effort to cut off d relationship was to no avail, because her dad did not want us together just CU's of religion.She truelly love me,there was no issue from my own family.We contemplated many option.In short, after her graduation, She got pregnant for me, her dad started threatening me, but as God will, d Mom call call me that her dad want to see me, I was afraid, but summon caurage I went with my friend, to my surprised d man asked me if I truely love her daughter and if am d that got her pregnant.We are blessed with 2 kids now.No wahala. Bro if u truely love her get her pregnant and pray.

Congratulations. But I am sure u won't want any of your female children/relative to marry a Christian guy...

That is just how you Muslims are. You always want a Christian girl but don't want your girls to marry Christians.

Stoopid Roman and Arabian religions dividing and destroying Africans since time immemorial.

Teebaba30:


But her dad might imprisoned me, or disowned her ....

and am afraid to be identify as an ex convict

you have murdered English

The op fine sha

Guy, u no ready take advice self.. u just against all advice from frnds here...

I had this feelings that u dey lie give us

My Dad is a muslim, my mom a christian. they have been living happily married for almost 40 years now. so ur choice

Hmmmm
Na same issue where dey kpa me here ooh
My girlfriend na Moslem..me na Christian....


Each time I bring out the discussion about her my parents are always feeling uncomfortable....

And besides her own parents will never allow her marry me ,



And the truth is that I have never love any girl like this and she loves me back...

She is even telling me to impregnate her ...
That will serve as solution

I see nothing but Baby mama in the making

pek:
You are Yoruba right?

No.why?

Am presently in your shoes too. Its always an add decision. Compromising and sacrifice is the best way to go about it. If you both can compromise, truly love each other, respecting each other's view and not questioning it, been mature, it will help a long way.
My own situation is tricky. She said she can't marry me because of my belief unless I change to hers completely, she said real men do whatever it takes to get what they want. She doesn't want to shift ground at all.. Its either I join or nothing.. I told her both of us could do our beliefs and we don't need to convert. She said no. That's how I end up loosing the girl of my life. Am still hurt. Pained and going tru the heartbreak. But at the end of the day.. Everyone will be alright las las.

[quote author=Teebaba30 post=89356247]

But she refused to end the relationship..... she keep crying everyday[/quote
MARRIAGE, IN NIGERIA, IS BETWEEN FAMILIES, NOT JUST A MAN AND A WOMAN. IF SHE CAN'T CONVINCE HER FATHER, HER MOTHER OR ANY OTHER INFLUENTIAL MEMBER OF HER FAMILY, THEN IT'S TIME FOR BOTH OF YOU TO LET GO.
NOT BEING UNDULY HARSH HERE, PLEASE.

VillagePeople11:
A bird might love a fish, but where will they build a home together

VERY GOOD QUESTION.

Teebaba30:


But her dad might imprisoned me, or disowned her ....

and am afraid to be identify as an ex convict

Guy just convert to Christianity. After all it's best for your soul.

pls what our problem about religion,God created us but we man created the religion... pls dont leave your girlfriend, cant you see you guys are destined to be one?..my dad is a Christian and mum is a Muslim, still dey love each other, my mum do a lot of prayers than.she had to train us in our fathers religion... and today we are fine. so go talk with her people,tell them your girlfriend will continue to be a Muslim (sorry for few typo errors.

Tillatalk:
bro upload your waec result let see what you got in English

Lead by example. Upload your failures. I know you can't string a line of correct English language.

That's why you came to the rescue

Sparro:


What about been disowned?
This question confirms that you are still a kid. You are still in the incubator of your parents. You have not seen and passed through hard times. You are not yet responsible for yourself. You are still relishing the warm love and protection of your parents. No wonder the girl is more mature and daring than you.

If you have passed through all these stages, you will surely know that disowning someone for taking a stance is irrelevant. The negative aspect of disowning me is if I turn out to be useless. If am not sure of where am going, I won't give them the chance to disown me. But if am sure I will turn out well, if am sure of my love for the girl and if been with the girl makes me happy and fulfilled, they can disown me a 1000x.

After disowning you, in few years time, they will beg to see you. They will kill cow to celebrate your return. Everybody wants to be friends with success. Just make sure you don't live a reckless life. The girl will do anything to make you successful. She will go to any lengths to make you very wealthy. Make sure to manage her love and money well. U don't know how lucky you are.

But if you are not happy with the girl or if you don't love her, pls, free her.

If you can't get over other girls and if there are many girls who make you happy, if this particular girl is not special or unique to you in any way, pls, free her.
If you are still fantasising the company and love of other girls because you are intelligent and handsome, pls, free her. If you think you are too good for just one girl, pls, free her. If you think you will come across better girls that are more pretty or rich or intelligent, pls free her. If your mind skip a bit in the negative direction at the sight or thought of the girl, pls, free her. Finally, if you are not sure of the future with her, pls and pls, free her.

Think before you act

Thanks so much for the piece of advice, but i laugh at the part that, where u wrote, am still in the incubator of my parent, have been living alone with my junior brother since I was 15 years, In the couple of months I will be 30, so am the independent type,

my coming here to seek for advice doesn't render one a fool, anyone can be in this situation,

I so much appreciate ur side view of the issue.

well, their is no any where in the two religion that inter religion marriage is allowed, I put it to you that both of you did not have any religion. Muslim called the Christian infidel, Christian called the Muslim unbeliever. Their is strong instruction in the two religions never to marry one another, you both have no religion nor God or gods. First get your bearing right on who you will serve with your family that you intended to form.