I'm writing this with tears in my eyes. Just some advices for my follow girls. Always stay with your man if ure sure he truly loves you. Dont listen to your friends because some of them secretly want what you have. Ignore his shortcomings cus there is no perfect man on earth. I hope my story heals someone's relationship today. And pls ignore all the grammatical blunders in this write up, i'm not a very good writer. I'm a popular nairalander, i just created this account for this purpose. Here is my story......

I started dating Brian(not real name) back then in university of lagos. He was in 300 level while i just gained admission to study economic. He was so handsome, cool and very intelligent. For some reasons which i can say here, i moved in to stay with him. We had one of the best love lives ever. He wasn't so bouyant financially, but we supported each other financially, we shared everything and i even know his account number off heart. He was caring, romantic and treated me very nicely. I mean he doesnt joke with me. But then there was something with him that was a problem. He is very high tempered and a jealous lover. ( now i understand why he was that way).He has hit me like twice or so in d cause of our relationship. To be sincere, i was alway d reason why he hit me cus i really pushed him hard. We later had a sincere pillow talk, he promised never to hit me again and he kept to his promise.
Meanwhile, i have 3 closed friends who always try to tell me how bad it is to stay with a guy, let alone allow him hit u. And that he has no right to dictate to me and choose where i go to or not. That i came to school to have fun and not to please anybody. To be sincere he rarely allow me attend parties or some school activities cus he feels i might be influenced negatively by my friends or people in d party. Reason being that he has been in the school before me and he knows how these things always end. But my friends made it clear to me that he was caging me and i wasnt free. Among these my 3 friends, only 1 was dating like me, the remaining ones were just into difference guys with no feelings( runs). For that reason, my bf wasnt comfortable with them. Meanwhile, the only one that was dating try to prove to me that her bf doesn't cage her or hit her. And that she can go anywhere she likes. She will only tell him where she is going and that's all. I realised years later that she was lying, the bf even did worst to her. Why she was interested in my relationship, i can't tell.

After hearing all this from my friends and coupled with the fact that i somehow feel i was caged., i started being stubborn and outspoken . Though i must confess my bf did some bad things to me at times and that is due to his anger issues. I can vow he never cheated on me. I became stubborn, started hurting his feelings, told him i can go anywhere i want. He has no right to dictate to me. I changed my fbk password that he has access to, meanwhile he didn't change his own as i still have access to his facebook. He was so hurt and i knew it, and he tried his best to make me understand that all he is doing was for my good. I was adamant, i even moved out of the house and started staying with my friends.we rented a 2-bedroom apartment together. Meanwhile he has rent to pay, and i was supposed to support him, but i didn't care, just wanted to enjoy my life like my friends. I truly loved him and he loved me dearly. Looking back now, i feel bad for everything i did. Meanwhile, the landlord pushed him out after his rent expired and he didn't have anywhere to go. I felt bad within me then though, but my friends pushed me on, that he is a guy, he will overcome it. They made it clear that i can start having my own things, do my own things separately and the relationship will still be fine. And if he is not ok, he can leave. At that point, i knew he will keep coming to me cus he has nobody and he has invested all his love and energy on me.

Well, i started attending parties with my friends, from difference clubs to house parties. Along the line, i cheated on him, i felt bad and dirty initially. Because my sex life with Brian was mind-blowing. Till now, i haven't met any guy that can match his sexual prowess.. Maybe we were just overly compatible sexually. And then after all he went through, he just let me be and moved on, though i must confess life was rough for him that period cus he wasn't working.
Meanwhile, i couldn't get a stable relationship while enjoying life with my friends,all i was getting were pretenders, they will just hit and run. I feel dirty and sad, cus deep down i wanted a love life that can leads to marriage and a happy home. To cut d long story short, in my final year, my two friends got involves in serious relationships. Surprising, they didn't want me around them anymore. Once i informed them of any party, they will stylishly wave it aside with some flimsy excuses. To make matter worst, they all moved in to stay with their respective bfs in their houses. The same thing they advised me against. I became so lonely and i cried everyday. I was craving Brian every seconds. I wish i could change things now, i'll go back to my relationship, never to return. I regretted telling my friends about my relationship and allowing them to subtly manipulate me. I almost had an extra year cus of emotional truama.i added weight and no making-sense-guy was ready to look my way with that kind of shape.

Fastforward years later, my friends are now married to their bfs. I mean they made it work by enduring alot of bullshits from their bfs. Meanwhile, i'll be 33 this year, yet i have no serious relationship, no hope of marriage or raising a happy home. I cant help but cried each time i remember these things. Meanwhile, i ran into one of Brian's friends recently and he told me Brian got a scholarship and travelled to canada for his masters. He now lived and worked in Canada, married to a Filipino with two kids. When i saw the pics of his lovely kids, i cried myself out.
The one month lockdown imposed by d fg took it tolls on me. I was extremely broke. I mean i couldn't even eat good food. Non of my friends could help out and they didn't even want me in their houses for reason best known to me. I summoned courage and messaged Brian's friend, he gave me Brian's number. When i heard his voice i was crying, i didnt even know why. He calmed me down and sent 100k to me. Looking back now, i'm full of regrets, wish i never listened to my friends.
my sincere advise to young girls out there, pls if ure dating any guy and u know he truly loves you and want be with you, pls ignore his shortcomings and make it work. U see those women forming feminists up and down, they are sad inside. Deep down, they wish for a happy home and a peaceful family, it is bcus they cant have it or bcus its too late for them, thats why they always drop some silly quotes just to deceive u. I have visited many women groups and relationship experts pages, and all i see in their messages are sadness, loneliness and lack of peace of mind all hidden in their overrated ego. They will tell u go girl, dont let him push u around. Trust me they all wish they have a man like ur man deep down .Just like my wicked friends. And Brian, if you are reading this, just know I'm deeply sorry and I'm fulfilled that i finally get to hear your voice. God bless you and your home, amen.

waoooo...!¡�

that's some emotional piece ...

trust no one .... the main priority of everyone is his/herself ....

I pray u meet your own man soonest.

Meanwhile ... The number of single girls of marriageable age is alarming. Not to talk of single mothers ....... and the guys this days are just "Hit and Run" .... running pass Hussain bolt

Your story further lend credence to the fact that women don't genuinely want joy, peace, happy home or good life for themselves.

The jealousy and evil runs really deep. I usually feel pity for most girls walking or moving in groups...i don't even attempt to ask anyone of them out. Those girls most times harbor hate in their heart.

Women's World is just too complicated.

......

Inspiring story Op. 99% percent of those ladies who needs this would read this and waive all u just said off. All the same life itself is an experience and we hope not to fall in the wrong side of the coin.

Hmnnn

I feel sad for you and wish you had a mind of your own..most times we don't know what we have until we lose It..our worst enemies are those around us..aside relationship, Learn to keep your things private and guard them jealously...wishing you the best as you forge ahead...

tell them, a lot of ladies begin to get small sense when their beauty begins to fade and age is not on their side. all those beautiful girls in their early twenties feel, when they are ready for marriage,a rich guy Will appear from somewhere and Marry them.true love is difficult to find and comes mostly when you are not looking,a lot do not even recognize it

Mehn! I feel for you, i pray you will recover.

How the heck did read the whole thing...



Meanwhile..... brace yourself..... They will call you olosho and other bad names..

I don't know whether to cry for u or to tell u "ntoor"

Inferno001:
I feel sad for you and wish you had a mind of your own..most times we don't know what we have until we lose It..our worst enemies are those around us..aside relationship, Learn to keep your things private and guard them jealously...wishing you the best as you forge ahead...

Thanks. I truly appreciate. I'm still sad though

Op is a guy trying to make ladies humble themselves here

So sad! love wil find u once again. Take hrt

Fake story written by a dejected guy

PrettyC56:

Thanks. I truly appreciate. I'm still sad though

try edit your post wit enough punctuation and spacing.

Very inspiring story. I just wish most girl could learn frm dis. Girls are der own worst enermy.

Let me listen to the elders first

Ndo

FanOfMyself:
Op is a guy trying to make ladies humble themselves here

Pls dont joke with this...I'm still hurting. Thank you

Ladies mind ur business , as I Dey so, don’t even ask me for advise , don’t tell me what’s happening in ur relationship, keep it to urself .

I feel ur pain babe , I wish u luck

FanOfMyself:
Op is a guy trying to make ladies humble themselves here

I agree

Wow na woman talk truth like this eeeyaaa!!! No worry SHILOH will help.

LuQuLuQu:
Fake story written by a dejected guy

Very true.

So my friend will tell me her boyfriend is beating her n I would say stay there my sister , collect the beating ,,, in as much as I feel ur pain , blame urself not ur friends, u were the one complaining to them , u were the one in ur relationship, if it was that amazing u would hv stayed there . It’s no body’s fault but yours .

Feminist hv their lives n many r happy, feminism does not imply they don’t want a relationship, they just don’t need it . Spot the difference

Reading your story made me weak.


So what do you have in mind now? What can you do, so painful but it has happened just forge ahead sis. I know its not easy but keep moving towards the right direction.


I hope to see another post from you much later.

Youre a fool.

LuQuLuQu:
Fake story written by a dejected guy

Shaaa no kill us with ur Bollywood story

Very heart breaking story though

First, I don't subscribe to living a couple life while still in school, it just dosent make sense.

the mistake you made was listening to everything your friends were saying,


I pray someone that loves you truly will locate you.

Fake story written by a male on NL. This is supposed to be a moral story to the central theme here on NL. Women/friends that advise you not to tolerate a controlling abusive man do not heed their own advise. So, disregard a good advise because the source is a hypocrite.

The girl in the fiction, had no business dating her controlling and abusive college boyfriend, she is also responsible for all the other choices she made thereafter.

ARRANT NONSENSE from a very low self esteem insecure woman...