AnambraBabe:
Na dem na,I am not a Feminist bla bla bla,But we know dem...Awon oloshi buruku

Are you still a teenager grow up for Bleep sake. Pls

I'm writing this with tears in my eyes. Just some advices for my follow girls. Always stay with your man if ure sure he truly loves you. Dont listen to your friends because some of them secretly want what you have. Ignore his shortcomings cus there is no perfect man on earth. I hope my story heals someone's relationship today. And pls ignore all the grammatical blunders in this write up, i'm not a very good writer. I'm a popular nairalander, i just created this account for this purpose. Here is my story......

I started dating Brian(not real name) back then in university of lagos. He was in 300 level while i just gained admission to study economic. He was so handsome, cool and very intelligent. For some reasons which i can say here, i moved in to stay with him. We had one of the best love lives ever. He wasn't so bouyant financially, but we supported each other financially, we shared everything and i even know his account number off heart. He was caring, romantic and treated me very nicely. I mean he doesnt joke with me. But then there was something with him that was a problem. He is very high tempered and a jealous lover. ( now i understand why he was that way).He has hit me like twice or so in d cause of our relationship. To be sincere, i was alway d reason why he hit me cus i really pushed him hard. We later had a sincere pillow talk, he promised never to hit me again and he kept to his promise.
Meanwhile, i have 3 closed friends who always try to tell me how bad it is to stay with a guy, let alone allow him hit u. And that he has no right to dictate to me and choose where i go to or not. That i came to school to have fun and not to please anybody. To be sincere he rarely allow me attend parties or some school activities cus he feels i might be influenced negatively by my friends or people in d party. Reason being that he has been in the school before me and he knows how these things always end. But my friends made it clear to me that he was caging me and i wasnt free. Among these my 3 friends, only 1 was dating like me, the remaining ones were just into difference guys with no feelings( runs). For that reason, my bf wasnt comfortable with them. Meanwhile, the only one that was dating try to prove to me that her bf doesn't cage her or hit her. And that she can go anywhere she likes. She will only tell him where she is going and that's all. I realised years later that she was lying, the bf even did worst to her. Why she was interested in my relationship, i can't tell.

After hearing all this from my friends and coupled with the fact that i somehow feel i was caged., i started being stubborn and outspoken . Though i must confess my bf did some bad things to me at times and that is due to his anger issues. I can vow he never cheated on me. I became stubborn, started hurting his feelings, told him i can go anywhere i want. He has no right to dictate to me. I changed my fbk password that he has access to, meanwhile he didn't change his own as i still have access to his facebook. He was so hurt and i knew it, and he tried his best to make me understand that all he is doing was for my good. I was adamant, i even moved out of the house and started staying with my friends.we rented a 2-bedroom apartment together. Meanwhile he has rent to pay, and i was supposed to support him, but i didn't care, just wanted to enjoy my life like my friends. I truly loved him and he loved me dearly. Looking back now, i feel bad for everything i did. Meanwhile, the landlord pushed him out after his rent expired and he didn't have anywhere to go. I felt bad within me then though, but my friends pushed me on, that he is a guy, he will overcome it. They made it clear that i can start having my own things, do my own things separately and the relationship will still be fine. And if he is not ok, he can leave. At that point, i knew he will keep coming to me cus he has nobody and he has invested all his love and energy on me.

Well, i started attending parties with my friends, from difference clubs to house parties. Along the line, i cheated on him, i felt bad and dirty initially. Because my sex life with Brian was mind-blowing. Till now, i haven't met any guy that can match his sexual prowess.. Maybe we were just overly compatible sexually. And then after all he went through, he just let me be and moved on, though i must confess life was rough for him that period cus he wasn't working.
Meanwhile, i couldn't get a stable relationship while enjoying life with my friends,all i was getting were pretenders, they will just hit and run. I feel dirty and sad, cus deep down i wanted a love life that can leads to marriage and a happy home. To cut d long story short, in my final year, my two friends got involves in serious relationships. Surprising, they didn't want me around them anymore. Once i informed them of any party, they will stylishly wave it aside with some flimsy excuses. To make matter worst, they all moved in to stay with their respective bfs in their houses. The same thing they advised me against. I became so lonely and i cried everyday. I was craving Brian every seconds. I wish i could change things now, i'll go back to my relationship, never to return. I regretted telling my friends about my relationship and allowing them to subtly manipulate me. I almost had an extra year cus of emotional truama.i added weight and no making-sense-guy was ready to look my way with that kind of shape.

Fastforward years later, my friends are now married to their bfs. I mean they made it work by enduring alot of bullshits from their bfs. Meanwhile, i'll be 33 this year, yet i have no serious relationship, no hope of marriage or raising a happy home. I cant help but cried each time i remember these things. Meanwhile, i ran into one of Brian's friends recently and he told me Brian got a scholarship and travelled to canada for his masters. He now lived and worked in Canada, married to a Filipino with two kids. When i saw the pics of his lovely kids, i cried myself out.
The one month lockdown imposed by d fg took it tolls on me. I was extremely broke. I mean i couldn't even eat good food. Non of my friends could help out and they didn't even want me in their houses for reason best known to me. I summoned courage and messaged Brian's friend, he gave me Brian's number. When i heard his voice i was crying, i didnt even know why. He calmed me down and sent 100k to me. Looking back now, i'm full of regrets, wish i never listened to my friends.
my sincere advise to young girls out there, pls if ure dating any guy and u know he truly loves you and want be with you, pls ignore his shortcomings and make it work. U see those women forming feminists up and down, they are sad inside. Deep down, they wish for a happy home and a peaceful family, it is bcus they cant have it or bcus its too late for them, thats why they always drop some silly quotes just to deceive u. I have visited many women groups and relationship experts pages, and all i see in their messages are sadness, loneliness and lack of peace of mind all hidden in their overrated ego. They will tell u go girl, dont let him push u around. Trust me they all wish they have a man like ur man deep down .Just like my wicked friends. And Brian, if you are reading this, just know I'm deeply sorry and I'm fulfilled that i finally get to hear your voice. God bless you and your home, amen.

Fake story. But I’ll humor you.
Instead of you to develop yourself, you have been chasing d!ck all your life.
Moved in with a guy 100 level. Partied hard at 400level.

Now 33, broke and without food to eat.
Still stuck on an abusive ex.

FanOfMyself:
Op is a guy trying to make ladies humble themselves here

I swear. Reading through the whole thing had my bullshit o'meter on overdrive


This looks made up and definitely from a guy!

Is this y no lady is commenting on this great post

Easybela:

That is why I will never blame any girl who doesn't keep female friends.

i didn't see anything inspiring here, u were sent to sch to study and get a better life not to go and co-habit with a "boyfriend", those friends of yours have no blame. Go to sch, live in a hostel or rent room, face your books and get it done with....on a flipside, maybe it was all good for Brian from the get go

This is total bullshit. So,there's nothing wrong in cohabiting with a guy while you're in school?


He hit you and you have the guts to be saying it was twice?. Girl,where is thy self-esteem?


This is exactly why I don't like it when people whine about their relationship problems to me. So your supposed friends that advised you to leave an abusive and controlling relationship are in the wrong here?. What a joke!.


My dear sister, you are responsible for the choices you make. Relationships are a lot of work and it requires mutual effort for it to work. If it becomes controlling and abusive,have the self respect to walk without looking back. And please stop dwelling on the past. Stop comparing other men to your ex. Work on your self and see your life move forward.

And for the guys here chanting "women are their own worst enemy" and telling the OP that she made a mistake.Y'all are not feeling fine and I hope such happens to your sister or daughter.