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She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by Healthwellness0(m): 7:56pm On Jul 03, 2020
Abeg who dey sell popcorn?
Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by Healthwellness0(m): 8:00pm On Jul 03, 2020
DEVELOPE OCD ��
jasent:
This is how we messed around with some girls, only to realized later that we could have done better..If she is a good girl try and see if you can develop live for her,which is very possible.
Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by eagleeye259: 8:02pm On Jul 03, 2020
chatinent:
Hi friends, I need your opinion on this. There's this (say) friend of mine who I misdeemed as friendly not knowing there was sth more to it.
.
First of all, I'm single. Not like I'm searching but I really want to be single till I achieve some few things on my to-do. I have a good job too. Marriage is not sth one should jump into. I've turned some advances down majorly because I wasn't ready to settle down: I believe dating should solely be for marriage and not trivialized. (my religious belief I hold unto dearly).
.
Back to my tale. She's this kind who complements me and sometimes chat, call and text-message and I return the favour by checking up on her sometimes too by also calling and sms-ing (I was always civil and careful with my words not to incite unusual feelings).
.
Fast forward to last week, she called me and asked where this relationship was heading to. I paused for a moment and hung up. I was so mesmerized. Relationship? What relationship? We didn't have that kind of relationship, I thought. With the most pleasant words, I re-called her and explained things to her, acknowledging she was beautiful and never would I undergrad her but that I was just simply being nice and civil and appreciated it that way (but not for anything intimate or relationship). I didn't know those nice words of mine wouldn't work. This girl started pestering my life from that day. I've literally beseeched her I wasn't ready for a relationship but she wouldn't leave me be. She has tried many things; trying to seduce me the day she invited me with the guise of apologizing for her errs, threatening 'female names' (thinking they are my girlfriends) on my contact to leave me (however she got them!)..latest was she telling my friends I broke her heart. In fact, people she told may rightly think it's true because of how she incessantly tell them to talk to me.. I'd be like going to coma when they do! Not as though she isn't beautiful but I AREN'T READY TO DATE! Even if I were, it wouldn't be her! Worst is she is acting as a wife! Cooking and bringing for me and putting me in a position to reject or take it (with the pity 'accept it na' from my co-staffs around). I don't want to embarrass her there but I've explained it countless time to her I'm not interested. As in, what part of the sentence doesn't she understand! .
.

Yeah, I know some people will think I aren't a 'guy man' bla bla to have not 'used her' up till now but f your feelings. This is my life. I don't have to be you.
.
Note, I haven't had anything intimate with her. We haven't even discussed about anything intimate! She doesn't even know my apartment. You need to see me hiding when going home so she wouldn't even know there. Oh, I'm getting crazy. The only far I think we went was she asking about my marital status which I firmly said I was single and not searching. I even thought she understood. In all I thought she was joking and repeatedly told her to come off it, but she is damn serious about this shit.
.
The bomb came yesterday when she told me she wouldn't let another girl snatch 'what she has worked for for years. That she will not let another girl marry her man, that it is her I must marry.'
.
I nearly exploded. My head has overgrown its size.
.
I don't chase after girls. I don't flirt. Please explain this life to me. Could this just be a joke because I'm beginning to go bananas.

I believe you could have discerned her intention from her conduct and communication. You might also have given her the impression you are interested in a relationship with her. Although I interact with different people and receive/return people's call out of courtesy, once I perceive the person is interested in a romantic relationship with me but I am not I begin to cut ties with them to avoid this kind of situation.

I think, you can invite her to a good restaurant and have a deep conversation with her. Tell her you sincerely appreciate her care and interest in you and she's a good person. However, you never had the intention of getting involved in a romantic relationship with her. Tell her both of you can still remain friends. If she keeps bothering you after the discussion, then you may have to ghost her.

1 Like

Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by Phenomenal16(f): 8:07pm On Jul 03, 2020
Y not go cucumber... Mitcheew
Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by Stvkmicheal(m): 8:31pm On Jul 03, 2020
Rozz:
The Op led her on,hes not saying everything as it is
can't imagine you're defending this madness. What would your take be if it was a guy u have absolutely no feelings for pestering you to marry him like this? Being nice to the opposite sex is now termed #leading her on
Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by chigoizie7(m): 9:07pm On Jul 03, 2020
chatinent:

Okay, let's assume you are man enough, what'll you have done?

I would have warned her very well to stay away from me. I would have cautioned her long before now. A woman can’t be manipulating me like even when I gain nothing from her.
Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by Nobody: 9:08pm On Jul 03, 2020
Stvkmicheal:
can't imagine you're defending this madness. What would your take be if it was a guy u have absolutely no feelings for pestering you to marry him like this? Being nice to the opposite sex is now termed #leading her on
lol
Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by UndauntedYOCA(f): 9:26pm On Jul 03, 2020
I so do not like it when people act desperate, I'd recommend 'ghosting' method. Block her line, ignore her, do not see her etc.
How do people love people who don't love them back? That's one of the worst forms of self torture in life.
Anyways sha NL coman sub my channel abeg whether you be man or woman.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aGH_uper9s
And do watch my videos. grin grin grin.
Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by Nobody: 9:42pm On Jul 03, 2020
what kind of a lady is that? cant she read the writing on the wall? you even tried by not leading her on.kudos
Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by frozen70(f): 12:54am On Jul 04, 2020
chatinent:
Hi friends, I need your opinion on this. There's this (say) friend of mine who I misdeemed as friendly not knowing there was sth more to it.
.
First of all, I'm single. Not like I'm searching but I really want to be single till I achieve some few things on my to-do. I have a good job too. Marriage is not sth one should jump into. I've turned some advances down majorly because I wasn't ready to settle down: I believe dating should solely be for marriage and not trivialized. (my religious belief I hold unto dearly).
.
Back to my tale. She's this kind who complements me and sometimes chat, call and text-message and I return the favour by checking up on her sometimes too by also calling and sms-ing (I was always civil and careful with my words not to incite unusual feelings).
.
Fast forward to last week, she called me and asked where this relationship was heading to. I paused for a moment and hung up. I was so mesmerized. Relationship? What relationship? We didn't have that kind of relationship, I thought. With the most pleasant words, I re-called her and explained things to her, acknowledging she was beautiful and never would I undergrad her but that I was just simply being nice and civil and appreciated it that way (but not for anything intimate or relationship). I didn't know those nice words of mine wouldn't work. This girl started pestering my life from that day. I've literally beseeched her I wasn't ready for a relationship but she wouldn't leave me be. She has tried many things; trying to seduce me the day she invited me with the guise of apologizing for her errs, threatening 'female names' (thinking they are my girlfriends) on my contact to leave me (however she got them!)..latest was she telling my friends I broke her heart. In fact, people she told may rightly think it's true because of how she incessantly tell them to talk to me.. I'd be like going to coma when they do! Not as though she isn't beautiful but I AREN'T READY TO DATE! Even if I were, it wouldn't be her! Worst is she is acting as a wife! Cooking and bringing for me and putting me in a position to reject or take it (with the pity 'accept it na' from my co-staffs around). I don't want to embarrass her there but I've explained it countless time to her I'm not interested. As in, what part of the sentence doesn't she understand! .
.

Yeah, I know some people will think I aren't a 'guy man' bla bla to have not 'used her' up till now but f your feelings. This is my life. I don't have to be you.
.
Note, I haven't had anything intimate with her. We haven't even discussed about anything intimate! She doesn't even know my apartment. You need to see me hiding when going home so she wouldn't even know there. Oh, I'm getting crazy. The only far I think we went was she asking about my marital status which I firmly said I was single and not searching. I even thought she understood. In all I thought she was joking and repeatedly told her to come off it, but she is damn serious about this shit.
.
The bomb came yesterday when she told me she wouldn't let another girl snatch 'what she has worked for for years. That she will not let another girl marry her man, that it is her I must marry.'
.
I nearly exploded. My head has overgrown its size.
.
I don't chase after girls. I don't flirt. Please explain this life to me. Could this just be a joke because I'm beginning to go bananas.

Both of you are not serious people
Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by chatinent: 9:11am On Jul 04, 2020
chigoizie7:


I would have warned her very well to stay away from me. I would have cautioned her long before now. A woman can’t be manipulating me like even when I gain nothing from her.
And if after you did those and it didn't work? You'll kill her right?
Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by chatinent: 9:12am On Jul 04, 2020
frozen70:

Both of you are not serious people
Be positive, everything is not Teletubies.
Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by Nobody: 9:35am On Jul 04, 2020
chatinent:

I don't understand this. How can one claim to love sb who is not interested in you. How can sb who's not interested in you marry you? She got me a new iPhone as gift. I rejected of course. I don't accept gifts anyhow because it could be from Greeks.
It was believable until this. I've concluded that this is a figment of your imagination.
Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by DrFunmisticGlow: 9:53am On Jul 04, 2020
J111333:
When you lose that girl, you'll seek true love from a woman but may never see it again. Appreciate the unconditional love staring at your face right now, such opportunity comes few times in a lifetime.

As long as a woman has genuine love for you, you can recreate her to be the woman of your dreams.
Nothing is unconditional about that, she sounds mentally disturbed to me.
Op better aviod her like the plague.

Better get the police involved, call her parents or something. Take her to the psychiatric hospital
Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by Fidelismaria: 10:43am On Jul 04, 2020


enough has been said

Bye







Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by chatinent: 10:56am On Jul 04, 2020
DrFunmisticGlow:
Nothing is unconditional about that, she sounds mentally disturbed to me.
Op better aviod her like the plague.

Better get the police involved, call her parents or something. Take her to the psychiatric hospital
Thanks.
Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by chatinent: 10:57am On Jul 04, 2020
Gaggi:

It was believable until this. I've concluded that this is a figment of your imagination.
Opinion is cheap bro. Your assertions are still yours.
Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by frozen70(f): 11:30am On Jul 04, 2020
chatinent:

Be positive, everything is not Teletubies.
u

What's my business with them
Re: She Said I Must Marry Her. I'm Going Bananas. Please Help. by chigoizie7(m): 5:33pm On Jul 04, 2020
chatinent:

And if after you did those and it didn't work? You'll kill her right?

You are giving her rooms to behave the way she is behaving. I would have cut ties with her long ago. Even the foods she brings I would be rejecting them publicly. I would have told all those people she reported me to publicly that I do not have anything to do with her and then block her in all communication platforms.

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