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If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship - Romance - Nairaland

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If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by busygirl(f): 7:41pm On Feb 05, 2011
Someone I know said these words to me and it actually got me thinking. Generally speaking, do you think this method makes sense or it doesn't. If you think it doesn't, can you please state your reasons.

Ps THIS IS A HONEST POST, I WOULD APPRECIATE KIND AND POLITE RESPONSES. THANKS IN ADVANCE!
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by Mygoldie(f): 7:44pm On Feb 05, 2011
if you don't go into a relationship,before marriage,how do you know what you are getting yourself into?

1 Like

Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by busygirl(f): 7:48pm On Feb 05, 2011
The person meant that one must be ready for marriage before considering a relationship.

1 Like

Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by iice(f): 7:50pm On Feb 05, 2011
Not all relationships must end in marriage.

1 Like

Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by Drsexy(f): 7:54pm On Feb 05, 2011
Mygoldie:

if you don't go into a relationship,before marriage,how do you know what you are getting yourself into?
hey
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by koolchicco: 7:55pm On Feb 05, 2011
@OP
Hmm, Very dicey.

I think the person is somewhat right. undecided
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by seedord247(m): 7:57pm On Feb 05, 2011
iice:

Not all relationships must end in marriage.

and 70% of marriage doesn't work
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by Mygoldie(f): 8:02pm On Feb 05, 2011
koolchicco:

@OP
Hmm, Very dicey.

I think the person is somewhat right. undecided







Can you please explain how,Sir? undecided
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by seedord247(m): 8:04pm On Feb 05, 2011
@Mygoldie

are yu single?? why the curiosity
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by koolchicco: 8:06pm On Feb 05, 2011
Mygoldie:


Can you please explain how,Sir? undecided

And:

seedord247:

@Mygoldie

are yu single?? why the curiosity
I comment my reserve. cheesy
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by Mygoldie(f): 8:07pm On Feb 05, 2011
seedord247:

@Mygoldie

are yu single?? why the curiosity






what has that question got to do with the topic?
and how am i curious? shocked shocked
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by seedord247(m): 8:11pm On Feb 05, 2011
Why Asking him to give yu more details about relationship and marriages hmmmm i smell something (searching for the right man)
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by busygirl(f): 8:11pm On Feb 05, 2011
I understand that not every relationship should end up in marriage but the psychological effect of break-ups can change you. How about getting it right at once?
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by beyunce(f): 8:16pm On Feb 05, 2011
well it depends on why you are actually goin into a relationship, but personally, i dont think relationship practically means marriage, so
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by seedord247(m): 8:18pm On Feb 05, 2011
busygirl:

I understand that not every relationship should end up in marriage but the psychological effect of break-ups can change you. How about getting it right at once?


how could that be possible when yu need to test the product yu are buying (abi yu won buy no testing ni)
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by busygirl(f): 8:21pm On Feb 05, 2011
beyunce:

well it depends on why you are actually goin into a relationship,  but personally, i dont think relationship practically means marriage,  so

It doesn't mean marriage but it must be defined with a purpose. I personally think there is no point if it doesn't get you anywhere.
seedord247:


how could that be possible when yu need to test the product yu are buying (abi yu won buy no testing ni)

I don't believe in 'test-driving' and I guess that makes it harder considering the kind of society we live in sad
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by beyunce(f): 8:52pm On Feb 05, 2011
busygirl:



It doesn't mean marriage but it must be defined with a purpose. I personally think there is no point if it doesn't get you anywhere.
I don't believe in 'test-driving' and I guess that makes it harder considering the kind of society we live in sad

But will u knw if it gets anywhere? U start a relationship lik every boyfriend girlfriend, With promises etc, But at the end we can never tell,

1 Like

Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by cold(m): 9:08pm On Feb 05, 2011
Let me chime in here;

1.When are you psychologically prepared for marriage,20,21,22. . .27,29,30-when?

2.Is it when you feel you're prepared for marriage that you now make yourself available for a relationship?& how long is this courtship/dating thang supposed to run for before it ends in marriage?

3.Are you going to ask the guy if he is ready to settle down from the onset of the relationship,wldn't that be too forward & somewhat desperate?

4.In the end,what is the guarantee that the relationship will end in marriage,even after taking every neccessary precaution to guard against a heartbreak?

Bottomline:'If you're not ready for marriage,don't go into a relationship' is pure shallow thinking for parochial minds.Just let nature take its course,you can never be too careful in matters such as these.

3 Likes

Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by busygirl(f): 9:12pm On Feb 05, 2011
cold:

Let me chime in here;

1.When are you psychologically prepared for marriage,20,21,22. . .27,29,30-when?

2.Is it when you feel you're prepared for marriage that you now make yourself available for a relationship?& how long is this courtship/dating thang supposed to run for before it ends in marriage?

3.Are you going to ask the guy if he is ready to settle down from the onset of the relationship,wldn't that be too forward & somewhat desperate?

4.In the end,what is the guarantee that the relationship will end in marriage,even after taking every neccessary precaution to guard against a heartbreak?

Bottomline:'If you're not ready for marriage,don't go into a relationship' is pure shallow thinking for parochial minds.Just let nature take its course,you can never be too careful in matters such as these.

Interesting, NOTED!!
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by Tingles(m): 9:16pm On Feb 05, 2011
We have it all mixed up. "Toasting" isn't marriage proposal. "We are dating" doesn't mean "we are engaged".
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by obowunmi(m): 12:49am On Feb 06, 2011
The one who made this comment is 12 yrs old.
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by fstranger6: 8:15am On Feb 06, 2011
OP:

DO you have a brain?
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by Nobody: 8:25am On Feb 06, 2011
Makes sense to me smiley That's the route I've been taking as of late.

I have had two boyfriends before. The first one broke up with me, the second, things were ended mutually. Although both started well, towards the end I felt like I was just there. The second one particularly. He's a very nice, caring guy and I simply couldn't reciprocate the feelings anymore as I felt the relationship was feeling more like a marriage. I've been single since then. No dates, no anything really. I won't lie, it did take some time to get used to this new way of life, but it has definitely been worth it.

Some people are different. Some can be with someone for sex, relationship drama, etc., and be fine. As for me, I don't need it right now. When I'm ready for marriage, then I'll start looking for someone with whom I can have a steady relationship. So far it's been great. I used to be hasty and rush into things. Now that I'm in no rush for anything, I can sit back and evaluate people and consider whether or not I can see myself having a relationship with him. I must say, I'm much happier now cheesy

For those/the guy (lol) asking when one is psychologically ready for marriage, I think it comes down to the person. I'm very sure now that I'll know when I'm ready to settle down with someone. I have learned my lessons lol. I'm definitely not ready for it now.
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by Tosinville(m): 8:55am On Feb 06, 2011
^^shallow thinking, i'm wondering wat if you're ready for marriage today and those dudes you're hookin up with aint ready yet or they jus don't wanna be with u 4 marriage but for a rltnship, wat chu gon do?

Madam ogugua, your future begins today so stop reasoning like a 10yrs old kid cos if you don't kiss many frogs you cant find a princess dat will suit yo taste.
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by Tosinville(m): 8:57am On Feb 06, 2011
A prince i meant.
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by Nobody: 9:03am On Feb 06, 2011
I'm not reasoning like a child. I'm in school and have plenty of endeavors I'd like to complete before marriage. Getting myself into a relationship, at this point, is a distraction to me. Considering I want to marry a Nigerian and most of them discuss marriage and starting families (with me anyway), I don't need a relationship. I have other things to focus on. Out of the 6,800,000,000+ human beings on Earth, 3,400,000,000+ are men. The odds of me finding a man at any point in my life are greater than my odds of rushing into a relationship now and finding success in it.

It doesn't make me childish and it doesn't make my train of though shallow; it simply means we have different opinions. I said I'm not ready. I won't get myself into something I'm not ready or willing to finish.
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by fstranger6: 9:06am On Feb 06, 2011
ogugua88:

I'm not reasoning like a child. I'm in school and have plenty of endeavors I'd like to complete before marriage. Getting myself into a relationship, at this point, is a distraction to me. Considering I want to marry a Nigerian and most of them discuss marriage and starting families (with me anyway), I don't need a relationship. I have other things to focus on. Out of the 6,800,000,000+ human beings on Earth, 3,400,000,000+ are men. The odds of me finding a man at any point in my life are greater than my odds of rushing into a relationship now and finding success in it.

It doesn't make me childish and it doesn't make my train of though shallow; it simply means we have different opinions. I said I'm not ready. I won't get myself into something I'm not ready or willing to finish.

WHere did you get that data from?

Are you still in middle school?

You sound like my 12 yr old cousin, just want to make sure you are not my cousin cool
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by Nobody: 9:08am On Feb 06, 2011
Lol because some people make it seem like it's the end of the world when either they lose a significant other, they can't find a significant other, or a potential significant other passed them by. After someone sees numbers like that, they won't be too worried anymore. Unless they're very picky.
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by fstranger6: 9:11am On Feb 06, 2011
ogugua88:

Lol because some people make it seem like it's the end of the world when either they lose a significant other, they can't find a significant other, or a potential significant other passed them by. After someone sees numbers like that, they won't be too worried anymore. Unless they're very picky.

Is this an attempt at answering my question or just some random rants from your akpu stuffed brain?
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by Nobody: 9:26am On Feb 06, 2011
Well I answered the data part. No, I am not your cousin.
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by Tosinville(m): 9:32am On Feb 06, 2011
Ogugua88,

Lmao! you're still in school, you don't want a distraction about any relationship? besides what are you studying dat other haven't study before? madam you're not d first to obtain to a degree and u can never be d last so i wonder why would a rltnship affect ur study if you really know what you're doing, u are still reasoning like a kid cos i didn't find ur point relevant.

Lastly, out of 6billions plus ppl across the globe, where did you find dat men's population are d same rate with women? nice studying.
Re: If You Are Not Ready For Marriage, Don't Go Into A Relationship by no1madman(m): 9:37am On Feb 06, 2011
Ogugua wears bottle. . .abeg dey oil ur engine o. . .

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