proxillin:
She has been mounting pressure on me to follow her to meet her parents. We have been in this relationship for a year now. Although she is not the only one I am dating. I am not sure of the other lady, but atleast this one is ready to marry me.

I am not sure if I genuinely love her or not, but a part of me love her..A part of me want to treat her bad, whenever I remember what she did to me in the past.

3 years ago, I started noticing and showing interest in her being my junior sister’s friend. I discussed with my sister who encouraged me to approach her that she had no boyfriend. We were on talking terms before which was an opportunity. So I leveraged on that to get closer to her. When she noticed I was getting closer, she started giving me attitudes, stopped talking to me. Finally she stopped coming to our house. She would give my sister thousands of excuses why she was not chanced to come to our house.

We met at a friends birthday party, to my surprized, she warmed up to me, greeted me. I though she must have repented. While the party was on, I asked her to come to my table and spend sometimes with me, she said “ok”. I waited for hours, she didn’t come. I later saw her in the room with the celibrant. I jokingly said to her “You dey whine me abi”. She just went off, started ranting, she said I should say whatever I want to say now infront of everyone..infront of her friends. “Why do you want me to come and sit with you?” say it now “let the whole world hear”. It was so embarrasing for me. I just said to myself “whats there..are they not aldult?..dem never toast all of them before”.

My sister was there, got angry and left us. She had already warned me to leave her alone. That I am interfering with their friendship. On my birthday, she replied to my whatsapp pictures with love and kiss icons. She went to facebook to like all my birthday pix. Facebook was alerting me as she was clicking. She finally sent me happy birthday..where is my cake..we started gisting again. She apologized for what she did that day, that she was not in a good mood that day (someone who met, joked and laugh with me, even agreed to come sit with me on my table).

We continued chattin for weeks, I made sure I didn’t get intimate with her. One day, my sister was playing with my phone, then saw our chats, read through our chats. She was mad at me. She confronted me and nearly slapped her for disrespect. She later calm down and explain to me that if I knew what this girl said about me on group chat, that I would shoot her if I have a gun. She said she didn’t tell me so that I wont feel bad.
She then show me their caucaus group chat discussing me. Tears was just coming out of my eyes. I felt cold. They were just laughing at me. My sister was just fighting for me shutting them off.

This lady said “how come some men behave like he goat. Why can’t he leave me alone?” “am I the only girl on the planet? Oh God I hate that idiot.” “Gosh, I can never be close to such person talkless of dating him” ANOTHER girl said “That’s how those guys are…you need to disgrace him more next time he try something stupid with you. Blahblah.

That’s when I closed her chapter. Blocked her on facebook, whatsapp, instagram. I moved on. My sister did photoshoot for her birthday and some of her friends came. I saw her and just greeted her, minding my business. Then I was dating another girl then, so it’s a win win for all. She stayed behind, when everyone left, she asked my sister to help her beg me. She knelt infront of me started telling me “she was sorry..she was being childish” This was someone that was in her 24 when I was chasing her. I said I forgave due to pressure from my sister. Since then, she will come to my apartment, do my laundary, cook soup inside my freezer. When she is coming from work, she will branch at my place prepare food on my table. At times she offered to sleep overnite, that she cooked till late in the night, which I will refuse.

But one thing led to another, one day, we had sex. And that changed everything. I couldn’t resist her again. But a part of me still hate her whenever I remember those disgraceful moments. Now she is 26, she want us get married. If I marry her, I may treat her bad.

In a dilema seriously and its giving me headache.

ugofulfilled:


Can I ask you? what about a girlfriend of almost 2 years who left you for another guy and within one week she comes back begging to be accepted again that she has realized her mistake and vouch never to do such again... if you were to advice the young man in question what would be you best advice?

daniwilson789:
check your email box

vingeophysicist:

You talk unreasonably .If you love someone you can never make fun of that person in the presence of your friends. Do you know what it means to love someone ? I have fell in love before and I know how it feels.

Joshforeal:
Abeg let us start our own. But who will disgrace who first?

Angelinastto:
Make I drag you nao

efeteb:
If you can see this, you really missed the point of her altitude then. She really liked you but immaturity on your part made you to miss the pointers.

1. She expected you to be bold to tell her what you want in verbatim but you where busy jumping around her, her only response is frustration which is shown in different form, she choosed rudeness to you which is a normal.

2. She brought you to her group out of naivety, to sample their opinion. Bashing you was done to save her face, if you are not accepted by the group.

3. Bringing you to her group was also to let your sister know she is on your matter. Since a girl can be toasted by many boys, but she only discuss the one she is interested in extensively.

4. I can see genuine love from her. Since after the sex, she has been showing you so much love. This is because you finally behaved as a man by meeting her expectations.

5. Treating her with hatred still goes to show that immaturity is still in you that made her despise you earlier. When you fight for something, WINNING your WARS, should compensate for the battle you lost. Her former behavior were you battles on this war.

6. You can be older in age than her, but that is different from maturity. A smart 16yrs old girl, has the maturity of a 24yrs old boy. Women always respect maturity.

7. I can tell from your story so far that you still liked her. Marrying her is not a mistake since you are the problem here. Holistically look at my points and see. These are some of the story you will share in your marriage later. There are still more that can be deduce from your story but let me stop here.

8. Finally, judging people with their past when the present is better is wickedness. If your employer choose to pay you with your primary or secondary school certificate when you have a BSc is that not witchcraft. That is what you are doing.

Show Maturity before you go into marriage. In marriage there will always be conflict of interest but maturity is what makes your conclusions okay for everyone.

She didn't do anything to you. Be matured

emillysmigael:
It is a matter of choice... If you were to be my brother; I'd say "Let her go...". Except you love too much to let go!!!

Angelinastto:
Only you can take this decision. All the group chat issh is normal stuff among ladies, your sister is also guilty. She was just doing shakara and at a point it got to her head. It's took her awhile to know what she wanted.
Come to think of it, the shame is not only yours. It's a shame she's ending up with a guy she has made fun of and embarrassed in public. Meaning, you're the best available guy after all.
It's a win win situation dear, in between, do not marry for anything but love.
All the best!

Mypeople2:
If we all narrate what this children (18-24) do to us just because we are asking them out for marriage,not even for sex, you won't believe it .Just forgive and forget

Chisomhustler:


You are a bad adviser!

ekaF:


It all sounds like victim-blaming

In point 2 you called her naive but somehow on point 1 she knew what she wanted. She's naive but according to you she knew to look for 'maturity' in point 5

Point 4 suggest that her love for him is based on him meeting her expectations. That's a dynamic no man should be comfortable with

For point number 8. The past is all he really has to judge her. The problem is not her misdeeds but the personality of the person that committed it. The example you gave is moot because a certificate is proof of the existence of something but op is clearly not convinced of the existence of her sudden change.

Besides, if she was right, why did she feel the need to beg him.

efeteb:


I can see you only read what I wrote to reply me, not to understand what I said.

DaddyRochie1642:
I just came here to Read this Your Interesting Story,... Oga, I have no Advise to give you