DaddyRochie1642: I just came here to Read this Your Interesting Story,... Oga, I have no Advise to give you
Why would you have an advice to give him? If it was the other way round now, you and your group of feminists would've grazed this thread to say "Men are Scum/Thrash"
Let her know how you feel about what she did. Saying you forgive her is not enough to let go. Tell her how hurt u and how you see her. Let her know the good in you will prevail over the bad and the ugly. That your step to redemption and total forgiveness. Peace
You can forgive but you may not forget. You can even marry her but you will treat her like a common thing.
Let her go now. You have already gotten your pound of flesh by sleeping with the girl that disparaged you among her folks. Double dating is a recipe for confusion and unfaithfulness. You don't love this girl. Kindly let her go now!
emillysmigael: If you have forgiven her... let go of the past. If you have not truly forgiven her; kindly let her go in peace and not in pieces. Thanks
That cocky part of him will not rest until he takes back his pound of flesh on that lady,. The best for him is to dump the lady and move on. Warri say, "food wey you no wan chop, them no dey use teeth divide am"
Only you can take this decision. All the group chat issh is normal stuff among ladies, your sister is also guilty. She was just doing shakara and at a point it got to her head. It's took her awhile to know what she wanted. Come to think of it, the shame is not only yours. It's a shame she's ending up with a guy she has made fun of and embarrassed in public. Meaning, you're the best available guy after all. It's a win win situation dear, in between, do not marry for anything but love. All the best!
You mentioned everything changed after you had sex.
Please don't marry a woman because of sex or out of pity. You'd regret it. Don't also marry because she begged you. Marry her because your heart leads you to her. And please dear men, never trade your respect for any pussy.
proxillin: She has been mounting pressure on me to follow her to meet her parents. We have been in this relationship for a year now. Although she is not the only one I am dating. I am not sure of the other lady, but atleast this one is ready to marry me.
I am not sure if I genuinely love her or not, but a part of me love her..A part of me want to treat her bad, whenever I remember what she did to me in the past.
3 years ago, I started noticing and showing interest in her being my junior sister’s friend. I discussed with my sister who encouraged me to approach her that she had no boyfriend. We were on talking terms before which was an opportunity. So I leveraged on that to get closer to her. When she noticed I was getting closer, she started giving me attitudes, stopped talking to me. Finally she stopped coming to our house. She would give my sister thousands of excuses why she was not chanced to come to our house.
We met at a friends birthday party, to my surprized, she warmed up to me, greeted me. I though she must have repented. While the party was on, I asked her to come to my table and spend sometimes with me, she said “ok”. I waited for hours, she didn’t come. I later saw her in the room with the celibrant. I jokingly said to her “You dey whine me abi”. She just went off, started ranting, she said I should say whatever I want to say now infront of everyone..infront of her friends. “Why do you want me to come and sit with you?” say it now “let the whole world hear”. It was so embarrasing for me. I just said to myself “whats there..are they not aldult?..dem never toast all of them before”.
My sister was there, got angry and left us. She had already warned me to leave her alone. That I am interfering with their friendship. On my birthday, she replied to my whatsapp pictures with love and kiss icons. She went to facebook to like all my birthday pix. Facebook was alerting me as she was clicking. She finally sent me happy birthday..where is my cake..we started gisting again. She apologized for what she did that day, that she was not in a good mood that day (someone who met, joked and laugh with me, even agreed to come sit with me on my table).
We continued chattin for weeks, I made sure I didn’t get intimate with her. One day, my sister was playing with my phone, then saw our chats, read through our chats. She was mad at me. She confronted me and nearly slapped her for disrespect. She later calm down and explain to me that if I knew what this girl said about me on group chat, that I would shoot her if I have a gun. She said she didn’t tell me so that I wont feel bad. She then show me their caucaus group chat discussing me. Tears was just coming out of my eyes. I felt cold. They were just laughing at me. My sister was just fighting for me shutting them off.
This lady said “how come some men behave like he goat. Why can’t he leave me alone?” “am I the only girl on the planet? Oh God I hate that idiot.” “Gosh, I can never be close to such person talkless of dating him” ANOTHER girl said “That’s how those guys are…you need to disgrace him more next time he try something stupid with you. Blahblah.
That’s when I closed her chapter. Blocked her on facebook, whatsapp, instagram. I moved on. My sister did photoshoot for her birthday and some of her friends came. I saw her and just greeted her, minding my business. Then I was dating another girl then, so it’s a win win for all. She stayed behind, when everyone left, she asked my sister to help her beg me. She knelt infront of me started telling me “she was sorry..she was being childish” This was someone that was in her 24 when I was chasing her. I said I forgave due to pressure from my sister. Since then, she will come to my apartment, do my laundary, cook soup inside my freezer. When she is coming from work, she will branch at my place prepare food on my table. At times she offered to sleep overnite, that she cooked till late in the night, which I will refuse.
But one thing led to another, one day, we had sex. And that changed everything. I couldn’t resist her again. But a part of me still hate her whenever I remember those disgraceful moments. Now she is 26, she want us get married. If I marry her, I may treat her bad.
In a dilema seriously and its giving me headache.
Forgive her but don't marry her or date her. Look for someone else.
proxillin: She has been mounting pressure on me to follow her to meet her parents. We have been in this relationship for a year now. Although she is not the only one I am dating. I am not sure of the other lady, but atleast this one is ready to marry me.
I am not sure if I genuinely love her or not, but a part of me love her..A part of me want to treat her bad, whenever I remember what she did to me in the past.
3 years ago, I started noticing and showing interest in her being my junior sister’s friend. I discussed with my sister who encouraged me to approach her that she had no boyfriend. We were on talking terms before which was an opportunity. So I leveraged on that to get closer to her. When she noticed I was getting closer, she started giving me attitudes, stopped talking to me. Finally she stopped coming to our house. She would give my sister thousands of excuses why she was not chanced to come to our house.
We met at a friends birthday party, to my surprized, she warmed up to me, greeted me. I though she must have repented. While the party was on, I asked her to come to my table and spend sometimes with me, she said “ok”. I waited for hours, she didn’t come. I later saw her in the room with the celibrant. I jokingly said to her “You dey whine me abi”. She just went off, started ranting, she said I should say whatever I want to say now infront of everyone..infront of her friends. “Why do you want me to come and sit with you?” say it now “let the whole world hear”. It was so embarrasing for me. I just said to myself “whats there..are they not aldult?..dem never toast all of them before”.
My sister was there, got angry and left us. She had already warned me to leave her alone. That I am interfering with their friendship. On my birthday, she replied to my whatsapp pictures with love and kiss icons. She went to facebook to like all my birthday pix. Facebook was alerting me as she was clicking. She finally sent me happy birthday..where is my cake..we started gisting again. She apologized for what she did that day, that she was not in a good mood that day (someone who met, joked and laugh with me, even agreed to come sit with me on my table).
We continued chattin for weeks, I made sure I didn’t get intimate with her. One day, my sister was playing with my phone, then saw our chats, read through our chats. She was mad at me. She confronted me and nearly slapped her for disrespect. She later calm down and explain to me that if I knew what this girl said about me on group chat, that I would shoot her if I have a gun. She said she didn’t tell me so that I wont feel bad. She then show me their caucaus group chat discussing me. Tears was just coming out of my eyes. I felt cold. They were just laughing at me. My sister was just fighting for me shutting them off.
This lady said “how come some men behave like he goat. Why can’t he leave me alone?” “am I the only girl on the planet? Oh God I hate that idiot.” “Gosh, I can never be close to such person talkless of dating him” ANOTHER girl said “That’s how those guys are…you need to disgrace him more next time he try something stupid with you. Blahblah.
That’s when I closed her chapter. Blocked her on facebook, whatsapp, instagram. I moved on. My sister did photoshoot for her birthday and some of her friends came. I saw her and just greeted her, minding my business. Then I was dating another girl then, so it’s a win win for all. She stayed behind, when everyone left, she asked my sister to help her beg me. She knelt infront of me started telling me “she was sorry..she was being childish” This was someone that was in her 24 when I was chasing her. I said I forgave due to pressure from my sister. Since then, she will come to my apartment, do my laundary, cook soup inside my freezer. When she is coming from work, she will branch at my place prepare food on my table. At times she offered to sleep overnite, that she cooked till late in the night, which I will refuse.
But one thing led to another, one day, we had sex. And that changed everything. I couldn’t resist her again. But a part of me still hate her whenever I remember those disgraceful moments. Now she is 26, she want us get married. If I marry her, I may treat her bad.
In a dilema seriously and its giving me headache.
Chai man have suffered . My guy u sef wicked her back, disgrace her same way and leave her hanging it's obvious u don't love her at all u just like sex like most guys do so permission to use her cure granted
I won't advise you to marry her,you don't have enough soft spot for her to forgive and let go.You need to marry someone you love unconditionally. ..that have your mumu button.
proxillin: She has been mounting pressure on me to follow her to meet her parents. We have been in this relationship for a year now. Although she is not the only one I am dating. I am not sure of the other lady, but atleast this one is ready to marry me.
I perfectly understand your situation. The exact thing in you is the inability to erase the past attitude, it sends shiver down your spine and somehow you can’t let it go. Please don’t make any move forward, you need to investigate why you still dwell in such thought, else you will never be free. And also please stop her from all the washing and favour you get, it makes the issue complicated. Those wounds deep down in you has not yet healed. You may have to revisit them. Until then move no further.
In this age, love till death do us part is not guaranteed again but then you as a man can choose to be mature and let go of past events.... you will be surprised that the pressure of dating her friend's brother was the main issue with her cos she never knew how to handle the two together at the same time in case things go south with you two..... I guess she is older now, and knows better now.... my take is love her and marry her if you truly want, don't be scared of the past.....
At every moment, remember the choice is always yours. Either to keep loving her more by letting go of the past or letting the evils in the past catch up with your relationship.
How I wish we can build up muscles like this and beat the h*ll outta all those thieving crooks milking our nation. But alas, it's to look and stare and waste resources building our bodies while our brain rots of tribalism and our nation of corruption.
The power of sex. It reminds me of a lady who left her ex and married her now hubby cos wen she tasted him, he was sweeter and now she insults him cos there is more to marriage than having sweet sex. U too don’t want to have sense cos of sex. Ur body go tell you tomorrow. U should have a genuine reason or reasons for wanting to marry her if not, u had better give it time
iyke926: One part of you still wants to hurt her and that will make you feel relieved.
My advice: Forgive her and let it go or Forgive and kick her out. ☹️
it is not all that easy. Wounds need time and proper medical procedures to heal. If not it may never heal. Op needs to revisit the past and use the a proper healing technique. A psychologist is good here.
Make i no lie you, I still habour hate for her. U got me there. I remember those disgrace everyday. At times, I mistreat her, she will go and still come back..
she wont just go away.
I was in love with her until I got to know her personality. I still remember those moment I fantasize about her. Her physique, beauty and all The moment that made me approach her. I think thats what is keeping me with her.
proxillin: She has been mounting pressure on me to follow her to meet her parents. We have been in this relationship for a year now. Although she is not the only one I am dating. I am not sure of the other lady, but atleast this one is ready to marry me.
I am not sure if I genuinely love her or not, but a part of me love her..A part of me want to treat her bad, whenever I remember what she did to me in the past.
3 years ago, I started noticing and showing interest in her being my junior sister’s friend. I discussed with my sister who encouraged me to approach her that she had no boyfriend. We were on talking terms before which was an opportunity. So I leveraged on that to get closer to her. When she noticed I was getting closer, she started giving me attitudes, stopped talking to me. Finally she stopped coming to our house. She would give my sister thousands of excuses why she was not chanced to come to our house.
We met at a friends birthday party, to my surprized, she warmed up to me, greeted me. I though she must have repented. While the party was on, I asked her to come to my table and spend sometimes with me, she said “ok”. I waited for hours, she didn’t come. I later saw her in the room with the celibrant. I jokingly said to her “You dey whine me abi”. She just went off, started ranting, she said I should say whatever I want to say now infront of everyone..infront of her friends. “Why do you want me to come and sit with you?” say it now “let the whole world hear”. It was so embarrasing for me. I just said to myself “whats there..are they not aldult?..dem never toast all of them before”.
My sister was there, got angry and left us. She had already warned me to leave her alone. That I am interfering with their friendship. On my birthday, she replied to my whatsapp pictures with love and kiss icons. She went to facebook to like all my birthday pix. Facebook was alerting me as she was clicking. She finally sent me happy birthday..where is my cake..we started gisting again. She apologized for what she did that day, that she was not in a good mood that day (someone who met, joked and laugh with me, even agreed to come sit with me on my table).
We continued chattin for weeks, I made sure I didn’t get intimate with her. One day, my sister was playing with my phone, then saw our chats, read through our chats. She was mad at me. She confronted me and nearly slapped her for disrespect. She later calm down and explain to me that if I knew what this girl said about me on group chat, that I would shoot her if I have a gun. She said she didn’t tell me so that I wont feel bad. She then show me their caucaus group chat discussing me. Tears was just coming out of my eyes. I felt cold. They were just laughing at me. My sister was just fighting for me shutting them off.
This lady said “how come some men behave like he goat. Why can’t he leave me alone?” “am I the only girl on the planet? Oh God I hate that idiot.” “Gosh, I can never be close to such person talkless of dating him” ANOTHER girl said “That’s how those guys are…you need to disgrace him more next time he try something stupid with you. Blahblah.
That’s when I closed her chapter. Blocked her on facebook, whatsapp, instagram. I moved on. My sister did photoshoot for her birthday and some of her friends came. I saw her and just greeted her, minding my business. Then I was dating another girl then, so it’s a win win for all. She stayed behind, when everyone left, she asked my sister to help her beg me. She knelt infront of me started telling me “she was sorry..she was being childish” This was someone that was in her 24 when I was chasing her. I said I forgave due to pressure from my sister. Since then, she will come to my apartment, do my laundary, cook soup inside my freezer. When she is coming from work, she will branch at my place prepare food on my table. At times she offered to sleep overnite, that she cooked till late in the night, which I will refuse.
But one thing led to another, one day, we had sex. And that changed everything. I couldn’t resist her again. But a part of me still hate her whenever I remember those disgraceful moments. Now she is 26, she want us get married. If I marry her, I may treat her bad.
In a dilema seriously and its giving me headache.
Marriage isn't a pity party. She might have truly changed but there's already a big question mark on her character as a PERSON. Whether you like a guy or not isn't reason to be a nasty asshole. Whether she's ready for marriage or not is inconsequential, are you ready to live with what you hate?
