Many a time I've seem threads here that queries people, about the qualities they'll love in their potential spouse, actually the responses people give are astonishing; you'll see 'I want her to have big this or that' or 'I want him to earn this or that figure', all these don't last compared to the longevity of the relationship or the intended marriage, hence they dipict the inability to really stand the test of time.



Also the petty things that split relationships and marriages nowadays makes me wonder if, there was any iota of love at all at first. You'll see something like 'he can't last for 2 hours' or 'she can't cook this or that'. Haba!



So I ask do people get married because of pressure, ageing factor, baby factor etc? or its just that things got out of hand. Why can't people prepare both spiritually & physically before marriage?


In my own view its better to have a failed relationship or friendship than marriage.

What do you think about this Nlanders?

Let's talk friends...

Sh

physical attraction is VERY important in any union, coupled with many other things. there is nothing wrong with a man wanting to marry an attractive wife, so long as she has the other important attributes/character that would make such r/ship stand the test of time.

the reality is that many people in Nigeria today marry because of pressure:
- RELIGIOUS pressure... where your holyman tells you that this is the only way for a MAN to be a MAN etc
- FAMILY pressure... where your parents brainwash women since birth that women should find a good man to marry and thats her major aim in life
- SOCIAL pressure... in Nigeria/African society, marriage is synonymous with happiness (even if the person aint)... thats why people will automatically say "they are so lucky/happy" even though they may be miserable. thast why some people are willing to marry any donkey in order to fit in this social pressure to marry BS.
- MONEY... today money has clouded people's judgment...women will marry a donkey with money, and when that donkey gets poor, she will leave his sorry behind. men will foolishly believe that "make money and women will flock" not knowing that its only these good for nothing goldigging oloshos they will attract...and when some other dude with more money comes along, this babe will be GOOOOOONE!

therefore its understandable that, due to the above BS reasons (why people get married), many will rightfully walk out of that marriage, the minute they have enough of this charade.... while we also know that many women will stay in these miserable marriages AT ANY COST, just to keep the "Mrs" title.

For women, the ageing factor is one major thing that make them jump into marriage. Many of them don't fall in love but will only fake the love just to be with the man.many of them end up frustrating the man after they get a taste of marriage.

Well said Brown...I don't mean that the potential spouse shouldn't be physically attractive. I mean what if such feature fades away? Am saying so 'cause you hardly see a complete woman nowadays, it's now basically either you choose body 'n beauty with unfair behaviour or well cultured 'n below average body or beauty. You twig?

I will marry for love. But

If u are rich, humble, caring,God fearing,kind and a cheerful giver I mean why won't I love u

Sometimes, it is due to territorial ideology and economic determinism

Women changed

Men didn't

lilmax:
Women changed
Men didn't

How bro?

Pegi23:
I will marry for love. But

If u are rich, humble, caring,God fearing,kind and a cheerful giver I mean why won't I love u

LOL

jst passing

missawele:
1. Most people in this generation don't love themselves. And if they can't love themselves, how can they love other people?

2. Women have evolved, while men have refused to.

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Women evolved how dear? Please explain let's understand. Thanks

joejah33:
For women, the ageing factor is one major thing that make them jump into marriage. Many of them don't fall in love but will only fake the love just to be with the man.many of them end up frustrating the man after they get a taste of marriage.

Thats why young guys should marry older ladies,

Ignore this

Kranediggy:
Well said Brown...I don't mean that the potential spouse shouldn't be physically attractive. I mean what if such feature fades away? Am saying so 'cause you hardly see a complete woman nowadays, it's now basically either you choose body 'n beauty with unfair behaviour or well cultured 'n below average body or beauty. You twig?

beauty will ultimately fade away, but by then, your love for that person is so strong (coupled with the family/home you have built together) that her appearance isnt that important any longer (if it is, plastic surgery can fix that, lol). the catch is to make sure that you are physically attracted to that woman from the get go, and build upon that the right structure...aka a lasting r/ship, a beautiful family AND a tight bond with that woman, that you wouldnt want any other person by your side.

there will always be a more beautiful/younger/fitter woman out there, the catch is to understand and value what you have at home, and not lose focus because of these "temporary snacks". so many fools out there are willing to throw away a great family, a great woman, a great life structure, because of some good for nothing fresh babe who cant even boil an egg or keep her legs closed and respect herself and/or her man.... to each their own i guess!

A man or woman is unfit for marriage when he/she possessed with the perilous qualities of 2Timothy 3:1-6.. The sick qualities grows stronger with our physical and emotional (soul) weaknesses, and they are deadly weapons of marital destruction..!

Reason, many homes are broken, even though they have Christ and are spiritual, because spirituality in Christ and Physical ignorance can coexist.. Therefore, physical and emotional ignorance are deadlier!!

In this perilous and knowledgeable age, a man or woman is unfit for marriage when he/she is possessed with the perilous qualities of 2Timothy 3:1-6.. The sick qualities grows stronger with our physical and emotional (soul) weaknesses, and they are deadly weapons of marital destruction..!

Reason, many homes are broken, even though they have Christ and are spiritual, because spirituality in Christ and Physical ignorance can coexist.. Therefore, physical and emotional ignorance are deadlier!!