Kennedyiheme02:
lol character flaw?... no its not, thats how women are, even the most gentle ones turn out to be demons..

with all this you've said you would expect the amount of single ladies bothering us with "I'm single, oh i need a man" would reduce... lol no, my whatsapp status is full of single women posting "God when" .

Go to canada, you'll see alot of lonely women, career women on anti depressants....abroad even white women can't find a man... men aren't interested anymore in dealing with womens shit.... suicide rate will go up soon.

I've met alot if men, majority aren't interested in marriage anymore, myself included..

And yes men do women a favour by marrying them.. who saves women from menopause?...

The male gender is one of the unique living things on earth. The ability to reproduce even at old age is just magnificent.

The thing is every step modern day women take, they take 5 steps backward... the most treasurable thing a woman has is the fact that a man gives them a responsibility of a wife.. its should be an honour... in linda ikejis next life, if they ask her again, choose being a rich single woman or a wife of rich man... i can assure you, she'll choose the latter.

A rich woman with no husband or family of her own... thats a serious disgrace. In my village wherever married women are talking she'll just sit in shame... nobody respects a rich woman driving her gwagon,

but every respects a woman driving her rich husbands g-wagon..

Men are also made honourable when they get married. A man that is single at 40 also raises eyebrows. I have a relative that is over 45 and still single and people are asking questions. It is not peculiar to women.

No one did me a favour marrying me. I was in my father's house and a man came to ask me to marry him. We did ourselves favours. I really don't know where you get this mindset from. It is better for a woman to be single despite what whatever society says than marry a man who thinks he did her a favour and therefore treats her like trash.

Women should know their rights as women and as a wife so that one man won't come and bully them or try to make them feel disadvantaged for being single or married.

God created the male and female gender which makes them both unique. The fact that a man feels he is higher because he can reproduce at 100 years is funny. What of a man that is sterile? Is he still unique? What else makes him unique?

No man has the right to maltreat his wife because he thinks he did her a favour marrying her. But I am glad it is only a few men that think this way from what I see in the real world.

Kennedyiheme02:
its actually the price to pay , if I'm not gonna get the benefits of having a traditional wife, why am i getting married? I'll rather get a maid... at least what a civilized wife wouldn't do a maid would do even better.. you don't know its a priviledge to have wifey responsibilities?. If you aren't given wife responsibilities whats your value as a wife?.. you're basically useless.. i rather have a maid

@ the bolded is the question of the century...

Modern wife is only valuable to the company she works and completely useless to her home and family.

ImaIma1:


The question is "what is a wife to you". A slave? A partner?

You use things/people according to the value you place on them.

If you are comparing a wife to a maid then you don't really know what or who a wife is to a man.

Not a slave, perhaps a partner on the home front.
Her priority is to manage our home... To manage me the husband, the children and the facility...

But they are women that are career minded... Those ones are not marriageable because you can't serve two masters... You can't serve the company you work and your home together effectively, one must suffer.

If any man prefers to watch the tv while his wife does house chores that overwhelms her, then something is wrong with him.

If a woman sits at home doing nothing while expecting that the husband shoulders all responsibility for the provision of the houshold, then she needs a head check.

Of these all, if the couple have grown up kids but the husband doesn't want his kids to cook his meals but his wife alone, then something is definitely wrong with the husband.

This kind of thread gotta be consider carefully.
Why on earth will any man want to suffer his wife or vice versa?
Life should be made easier for ourselves to coexist in peace and enjoy the family.

Farki:


I don't know where you got this idea that boys do nothing around the home.

Men and boys do the chores that are often backbreaking, labour intensive and dangerous while still being expected to do other things around the house. We just don't go about complaining online like women do.

Do girls cut grass, lift heavy objects, fix electrical appliances, take care of the pets or get tasked to kill whatever dangerous animal has wandered into the house?

Some girls won't lift a finger work because they don't want to harm their acrylic nails.

@bolded.... This gender war is most time very entertaining.. but sometimes very bloody.

ImaIma1:


Men are also made honourable when they get married. A man that is single at 40 also raises eyebrows. I have a relative that is over 45 and still single and people are asking questions. It is not peculiar to women.

No one did me a favour marrying me. I was in my father's house and a man came to ask me to marry him. We did ourselves favours. I really don't know where you get this mindset from. It is better for a woman to be single despite what whatever society says than marry a man who thinks he did her a favour and therefore treats her like trash.

Women should know their rights as women and as a wife so that one man won't come and bully them or try to make them feel disadvantaged for being single or married.

God created the male and female gender which makes them both unique. The fact that a man feels he is higher because he can reproduce at 100 years is funny. What of a man that is sterile? Is he still unique? What else makes him unique?

No man has the right to maltreat his wife because he thinks he did her a favour marrying her. But I am glad it is only a few men that think this way from what I see in the real world.

lol no one really cares about a 40 year old unmarried man... because people no men do not hit the wall.. as men age they look younger and stronger, so let me ask you a question.. a 30 year old and and a 30 year old woman..both unmarried, who do you think is more desperate?.. lol do you know how many women have tried to carjole me into marrying them?.. even lieing about being pregnant?

Have you ever heard were men search for wives for 4 years?, see as a man i can marry next week if i wanted to, marriage is a thing i can get anytime i want... you know why?, because I'm a man who can get wifey duties by paying a maid to do them for me.... my money can actually get me a maid to take those wife responsibilities...

But as a woman you cant buy a husband.. lol can you buy some one that will take care of you and provide for your family?.. can you buy a rich responsible man?... i dont think so..

So you see why women are single, and its a priviledge and gift you get a man who wants to make you his wife.... you know it but your ego is too big to admit the truth..

So how do you get to be priviledged to be married into a home as a wife and throw that opportunity away?.. do you know there are thousands of women standing in line ready to take your place... even wipe your hubbies ass everyday?...

Toks2008:



This cracked me up big time.

Hehe. Dont mind them. They will never allow their daughter's and sisters be slaves to anyone. Na another person pickin go slave for them

A wise man makes his own decisions ,an ignorant man follows the public opinion

Kennedyiheme02:
lol no one really cares about a 40 year old unmarried man... because people no men do not hit the wall.. as men age they look younger and stronger, so let me ask you a question.. a 30 year old and and a 30 year old woman..both unmarried, who do you think is more desperate?.. lol do you know how many women have tried to carjole me into marrying them?.. even lieing about being pregnant?

Have you ever heard were men search for wives for 4 years?, see as a man i can marry next week if i wanted to, marriage is a thing i can get anytime i want... you know why?, because I'm a man who can get wifey duties by paying a maid to do them for me.... my money can actually get me a maid to take those wife responsibilities...

But as a woman you cant buy a husband.. lol can you buy some one that will take care of you and provide for your family?.. can you buy a rich responsible man?... i dont think so..

So you see why women are single, and its a priviledge and gift you get a man who wants to make you his wife.... you know it but your ego is too big to admit the truth..

So how do you get to be priviledged to be married into a home as a wife and throw that opportunity away?.. do you know there are thousands of women standing in line ready to take your place... even wipe your hubbies ass everyday?...

You are really getting it wrong.

The over 45 unmarried man I talked about is raising eyebrows. But some of us are privy to the kind of person he is that might make ladies run. Women too have choices.

I was at a birthday gathering on Friday and my friend met a lady and immediately checked her wedding finger. I asked if he was that desperate and he said he has been looking for a wife.

So, No, a man is not eligible for marriage just because he is a man. He has to wait and search. When he meets a woman that agrees to be his wife, it is a privilege to him also.

And at the bolded, it is not peculiar to men, don't get it twisted. Just two weeks back, my uni school mate that reconnected with me was hinted that we go on a trip to Dubai even though he knows I am married. I laughed and showed my husband the chat. That is just one scenario.

When you find a wife, you can treat her as though you did her a favour. But the ones I know, my sisters, cousins, family friends are treated with love and consideration.

So let's us agree to disagree because our views are different. When you get a wife, you will understand better but if you already married, then more grease to your wife's elbow to be able to live with a man like you.

Enjoy your Sunday

Kazim88:


Not a slave, perhaps a partner on the home front.
Her priority is to manage our home... To manage me the husband, the children and the facility...

But they are women that are career minded... Those ones are not marriageable because you can't serve two masters... You can't serve the company you work and your home together effectively, one must suffer.

Being career minded should not be a problem. It is the attitude that matters. And a man should see what he wants first before jumping in. So that he won't start trying to change his wife. Some men can handle the career type while some can't. So pick your spec.

As long as they can find a way that works for both of them, a couple can live happily. My big sis for instance has been a banker for over 20yrs and has grown in rank but that has not affected her family.

When a couple love each other genuinely and are not threatened by the other's success and are ready to make life easier for each other, it's priceless.

All I see on this forum is men always trying to proclaim their position and make everything about gender wars.

If a man always has to remind people that he is the head, it means he isn't.

ImaIma1:


You are really getting it wrong.

The over 45 unmarried man I talked about is raising eyebrows. But some of us are privy to the kind of person he is that might make ladies run. Women too have choices.

I was at a birthday gathering on Friday and my friend met a lady and immediately checked her wedding finger. I asked if he was that desperate and he said he has been looking for a wife.

So, No, a man is not eligible for marriage just because he is a man. He has to wait and search. When he meets a woman that agrees to be his wife, it is a privilege to him also.

And at the bolded, it is not peculiar to men, don't get it twisted. Just two weeks back, my uni school mate that reconnected with me was hinted that we go on a trip to Dubai even though he knows I am married. I laughed and showed my husband the chat. That is just one scenario.

When you find a wife, you can treat her as though you did her a favour. But the ones I know, my sisters, cousins, family friends are treated with love and consideration.

So let's us agree to disagree because our views are different. When you get a wife, you will understand better but if you already married, then more grease to your wife's elbow to be able to live with a man like you.

Enjoy your Sunday

no this is a big lie.. dont twist reality to hide the truth everyone already knows.. marroage is too easy for men.. please don't try to hide what already know.

Dew04:
Yes.

Hashtagged: stop being silly. This is the 21st century. Life isn't black and white.
What about women who work alongside their husbands? What those whose income provides sustenance for the family? You make it seem as though there are no female doctors, bankers, executives, engineers, etc.
Even the petty traders; the women with hair saloons and stores. Aren't they sharing the responsibility of the breadwinner?
Nowadays, several women support their partners by earning. If they do that (which is expected seeing as you all complain about Nigerian women's financial dependency) how is the scale balanced?
Most men believe domestic chores are beneath them. Don't you find it odd that they expect a woman to "cook, care for the kids, bear children, maintain the home" as well as go to the work?

as a bachelor I have no time for some kind of chores. I step them down as paid services. I pay for someone to come in periodically to do certain chores, cook and maintain the home. I am not planning to run a home with my wife's money. I could probably marry a lady who has no job and I find her something to do like a business. If my wife cannot do the chores too, then we get a house help. If she's not comfortable with that, then she will do it. I did chores when I was less busy.

Kennedyiheme02:
no this is a big lie.. dont twist reality to hide the truth everyone already knows.. marroage is too easy for men.. please don't try to hide what already know.

Guy are you married?

Go out there and look for a wife and tell me if you will find one in 2 weeks.

Don't let social media deceive you. I deal with real people. I see my husband's friends and mine that are looking for wives. We even tried to hook one up. My brother's friend was asking me to hook him up with my friends.

I hooked up my brother's friend (same brother) with my roommate in school. He had been looking for a wife.They are married with 3 kids now. He keeps thanking me till today.

You need to realize that women are not disadvantaged. Both men and women need each other. When you understand this, maybe your mindset will change.

tunjilana:
Show me a man whose wife contributes meaningfully to the home, who is not pompous, proud and way out of order ... And I will show u a man who is willing to do everything to ensure donestic work doesn't kill her...what we have these days are women who don't want to contribute to the home from their earnings but expect the man to understand that they cant be available to handle domestics at home due to this same work/career

its almost as if I shouldn't marry a graduate. Let me marry a drop out and have peace of mind with this gender equality thing.

YelloweWest:


MUST A MAN HAVE SEVEN FIGURE INCOME BEFORE MARRIAGE?
YES! how will a man provide for his family without money?

NO, a man MUSTN'T have SEVEN FIGURE INCOME before marriage. However, a man must have a consistent stream of income that can sustain a family before even thinking of marriage.

ImaIma1:


Being career minded should not be a problem. It is the attitude that matters. And a man should see what he wants first before jumping in. So that he won't start trying to change his wife. Some men can handle the career type while some can't. So pick your spec.

As long as they can find a way that works for both of them, a couple can live happily. My big sis for instance has been a banker for over 20yrs and has grown in rank but that has not affected her family.

When a couple love each other genuinely and are not threatened by the other's success and are ready to make life easier for each other, it's priceless.

All I see on this forum is men always trying to proclaim their position and make everything about gender wars.

If a man always has to remind people that he is the head, it means he isn't.

You are right, everyone with his/her different specs..

The truth is 99% of men want their daughters to a be a successful career women but same really can't stand one maritally.

So you see successful career ladies that are single, divorced or anti-marriage because marriage is a traditional institution that was built on women being domesticated and men being the fender...

For a thousand years men, due to poverty have tried push off the fending tag, while women due to exposure and good education having being trying to change the domestic narrative...
Both party wants to edit an institution as old as mankind...

Like the guy you were quoting said... "Take out the traditional concept of marriage, then marriage would be useless for both parties"

If I were to be a female, with career mindset... I had forget the idea of getting married... It always end in premium tears, messy divorce or lifetime of tolerating apparent bullshit for women that is not domesticated

Kokaine:
its almost as if I shouldn't marry a graduate. Let me marry a drop out and have peace of mind with this gender equality thing.

It is not about graduate or not graduate... First, you be financially sufficient then marry someone that taking care of home and family is natural to them.. don't go and marry packaging... A lady wearing suite, with wig and make up, that works at May & Baker or Zenith bank... They have zero marital and economical value. They are only valuable to the companies they work.

Kazim88:


You are right, everyone with his/her different specs..

The truth is 99% of men want their daughters to a be a successful career women but same really can't stand one maritally.

So you see successful career ladies that are single, divorced or anti-marriage because marriage is a traditional institution that was built on women being domesticated and men being the fender...

For a thousand years men, due to poverty have tried push off the fending tag, while women due to exposure and good education having being trying to change the domestic narrative...
Both party wants to edit an institution as old as mankind...

Like the guy you were quoting said... "Take out the traditional concept of marriage, then marriage would be useless for both parties"

If I were to be a female, with career mindset... I had forget the idea of getting married... It always end in premium tears, messy divorce or lifetime of tolerating apparent bullshit for women that is not domesticated

A career woman can be married. I for one am working. In fact I have my laptop on my laps as I am chatting with you...on a Sunday. But I have been married for almost 5 years without any complaints from my husband about work.

As I said, it's the attitude that matters and not forgetting that family matters. I learnt from my sister to combine both. And I have a husband that makes my life easy, not one that always wants to prove a point.

It is selfish for a man to pursue his career while he expects the woman to sit at home if that's not what she wants.

I have friends that are house wives and some that are career wives. And they are doing well. The one I know that didn't work was majorly a family issue.

zynzyn:
So, are there not many single mothers that are cooks and nannies and house keepers and errand deliverers??

Once you have kids, you will play these roles if you want to be a responsible parent! The presence of a husband is not necessary!

Having kids is A CHOICE for both genders!!

At least she won't have the man on her to do list and that alone is a big burden off her neck.

You have no idea how sex drains ladies after a hectic day...

Kokaine:
its almost as if I shouldn't marry a graduate. Let me marry a drop out and have peace of mind with this gender equality thing.

LOL! True though, many graduate ladies too like to dey prove levels.


But drop outs or even a total illiterate wey no go school will practically worship you... At least in most cases.

ImaIma1:


Guy are you married?

Go out there and look for a wife and tell me if you will find one in 2 weeks.

Don't let social media deceive you. I deal with real people. I see my husband's friends and mine that are looking for wives. We even tried to hook one up. My brother's friend was asking me to hook him up with my friends.

I hooked up my brother's friend (same brother) with my roommate in school. He had been looking for a wife.They are married with 3 kids now. He keeps thanking me till today.

You need to realize that women are not disadvantaged. Both men and women need each other. When you understand this, maybe your mindset will change.

we dont see men disturbing us about how and when they'll marry... please we know the truth.. marriage is never hard for men.. we aren't just interested anymore.. that aside, can you tell us the advantages of having a modern/feminist wife?

LadySarah:


My bestie is suffering it right now. She's on Nl sef. The once bubbly lady has become a shadow of herself.
But I warned her. When she'd tell me how her husband would praise her and tell her she doesn't behave like a last born. I told her to tone down cos later she will suffer it.
3 kids down the line she has been shedding tears s each time she calls me.Oga can't lift his boxer shorts from the floor to save his life. Won't even go to fill the gas cylinder with his caroo while his wife will be jumping kekec with 12.5kg cylinder,or minor repairs at home. Just drop money and face front. Fresh food tinz.

Me I will just say sorry. E no concern me.

I like this perspective.

Imagine your friend opens a thread on NL and we start saying 'her husband is wicked' Yada yada instead of looking for solutions/workaround (if any).

Which is why I am ALWAYS Team 'how did they start'?

Karlifate:
Marriage is supposed to be a union where the responsibilities are complementary & the respect, reciprocal.
But modern day gents & ladies have twisted everything inorder to satisfy their own selfish desires.

100%

ImaIma1:


A career woman can be married. I for one am working. In fact I have my laptop on my laps as I am chatting with you...on a Sunday. But I have been married for almost 5 years without any complaints from my husband about work.

As I said, it's the attitude that matters and not forgetting that family matters. I learnt from my sister to combine both. And I have a husband that makes my life easy, not one that always wants to prove a point.

It is selfish for a man to pursue his career while he expects the woman to sit at home if that's not what she wants.

I have friends that are house wives and some that are career wives. And they are doing well. The one I know that didn't work was majorly a family issue.

We are saying the same thing... You have perhaps a Bachelor's degree or even a Master's..

Have you wonder why it is not spinsters degree or Mrs Degree...

Education was primarily designed to turn boys (nowadays girls) to bachelors, the bachelors to masters..

So you see women working in corporation and taking up jobs that were previously and traditionally done by men... And this women are doing very well.. corporately.

But at home front... It feels like living with your fellow guyman mentally..

Yea, your husband sees you as a friend, fellow bachelors... It's normal... people can live with it for the rest of their good life

Some men can't stand traditional women because of their over independence and their emotional instability... It's normal..

But just know that Feminism is as a result of women fighting to be treated same way like men but ironically "like poles repel, unlike poles attracts"

A man would by default be attracted to feminity and be apprehensive of Feminism

Toks2008:


LOL! True though, many graduate ladies too like to dey prove levels.


But drop outs or even a total illiterate wey no go school will practically worship you... At least in most cases.

imagine. There will be peace. I won't opress them. I will help them rise to any level they possibly can. We will all be happy at last. Watin I wan come use my wife certificate do if na problem e go bring me. I am not equal to a woman whether she likes it or not. Just as a lion is not equal to a lioness. I have beards, muscles and penis. Why should I be equal? My responsibility is to protect and care for them while defending the territories. If I wanted an equal wife, then I will be looking for a rich soldier girl of my age mate, but because I want someone I can feel easy with, I prefer to get the one who God has placed me above so I can care for her. Let all these gender equal girls go and find and marry their own men of their mates. But no! They want a tall guy, richer, stronger, older but equal to them

Kennedyiheme02:
we dont see men disturbing us about how and when they'll marry... please we know the truth.. marriage is never hard for men.. we aren't just interested anymore.. that aside, can you tell us the advantages of having a modern/feminist wife?

That is because women are more expressive of their feelings than men. The fact that a man doesn't say it, doesn't mean he is not thinking or feeling it.

You aren't just interested anymore. Speak for yourself. When the time comes, it will be clearer. These things cannot be explained to someone who doesn't understand. Right now you are still using girlfriend eyes and sense to gauge marriage.

It will be better you visit the people you know; modern and traditional marriages and get the advantages and disadvantages. Because from what I see you won't value anything I say that doesn't align with your preconceived ideas.

goshen26:
Well, the slavery nature is the reason why our mothers remain in their marriage till now while equality in marriage is why we have many broken homes these days


I helped my wife wella ; I do laundry, I cook once in a while, I even help bath our one year old baby, but that does not say I am not her head

What does headship mean to you?

ImaIma1:


That is because women are more expressive of their feelings than men. The fact that a man doesn't say it, doesn't mean he is not thinking or feeling it.

You aren't just interested anymore. Speak for yourself. When the time comes, it will be clearer. These things cannot be explained to someone who doesn't understand. Right now you are still using girlfriend eyes and sense to gauge marriage.

It will be better you visit the people you know; modern and traditional marriages and get the advantages and disadvantages. Because from what I see you won't value anything I say that doesn't align with your preconceived ideas.

lol maybe you don't have the answer... if you did you'll list them since you've been very chatty .. women are very expressive, lol its not the case here... the problem here is there aren't many men ready or interested in marriage.. i wish you female folks good luck.. these times are gonna be tough.. hubby search is gonna get harder... good luck y'all will need it

Kazim88:


It is not about graduate or not graduate... First, you be financially sufficient then marry someone that taking care of home and family is natural to them.. don't go and marry packaging... A lady wearing suite, with wig and make up, that works at May & Baker or Zenith bank... They have zero marital and economical value. They are only valuable to the companies they work.

this is the perfect solution. But then reality here in Nigeria is this:

It takes a long time for a man to become financially stable. We are victims of a dead economy. Great dimensions of corruption and ignorance of the youths is our bane. See the issue of akpabio and "off your mic. Issokay" did you see any youth ask questions? No! They are watching bbnaija. They are worshiping wizkid and davido. While the future has been jeopardised and bastardized.

How does a young man rise? Knowing no one, and having the insufficient skills to weather the Nigerian storm. Do you know what it takes to grow a business here? At what average age does a guy with no assistant graduate, get a job, save money from salaries and then kick start a dream, if he's not lucky he will be on his way to fourth years. And then put the societal pressure into perspective. You will see why he urgently needs to settle down

Her now cones the issue of getting the type of woman who can mirror what his dream partner should be even in the least. Should he marry a career woman and face all these power struggles and unsubmissive behavior in his home? He won't grow if his hone is a war front. Should he marry a lady who is less financially buoyant but will slassure him of her support, fellowship and patience while he steers the wheels of the financial vehicle alone?

Should he wait till he is close to his dreams? Register his company, grow it all alone? It takes a long time. These are the realities and complexes that accompany living in a corrupt ridden economy.

And then remember how love appears and disappears with the coming or going of success. Who should a man marry?

Kokaine:
imagine. There will be peace. I won't opress them. I will help them rise to any level they possibly can. We will all be happy at last. Watin I wan come use my wife certificate do if na problem e go bring me. I am not equal to a woman whether she likes it or not. Just as a lion is not equal to a lioness. I have beards, muscles and penis. Why should I be equal? My responsibility is to protect and care for them while defending the territories. If I wanted an equal wife, then I will be looking for a rich soldier girl of my age mate, but because I want someone I can feel easy with, I prefer to get the one who God has placed me above so I can care for her. Let all these gender equal girls go and find and marry their own men of their mates. But no! They want a tall guy, richer, stronger, older but equal to them

dont mind them, imagine dangote marries today, what kinda wife do you think dangote would marry... a zenith bank manager?.. lol naah he is definitely marrying a trad wife, as he isn't going to get any benefits marrying a career woman

Kokaine:
this is the perfect solution. But then reality here in Nigeria is this:

It takes a long time for a man to become financially stable. We are victims of a dead economy. Great dimensions of corruption and ignorance of the youths is our bane. See the issue of akpabio and "off your mic. Issokay" did you see any youth ask questions? No! They are watching bbnaija. They are worshiping wizkid and davido. While the future has been jeopardised and bastardized.

How does a young man rise? Knowing no one, and having the insufficient skills to weather the Nigerian storm. Do you know what it takes to grow a business here? At what average age does a guy with no assistant graduate, get a job, save money from salaries and then kick start a dream, if he's not lucky he will be on his way to fourth years. And then put the societal pressure into perspective. You will see why he urgently needs to settle down

Her now cones the issue of getting the type of woman who can mirror what his dream partner should be even in the least. Should he marry a career woman and face all these power struggles and unsubmissive behavior in his home? He won't grow if his hone is a war front. Should he marry a lady who is less financially buoyant but will slassure him of her support, fellowship and patience while he steers the wheels of the financial vehicle alone?

Should he wait till he is close to his dreams? Register his company, grow it all alone? It takes a long time. These are the realities and complexes that accompany living in a corrupt ridden economy.

And then remember how love appears and disappears with the coming or going of success. Who should a man marry?

.... You are absolutely correct.

With enormous support from my different mentors, after leaving school, it still took me 6 years of strenous learning, adapting, failing, hunger, reading to find my feet...

Hmmm.... Only God can help us.