egopersonified:
I don't know how to advice you. But watch your children, especially your daughter. These kind of people tend to groom their daughters to follow their foot steps. I have a colleague who is doing this now to her daughter. She has a very good business in a good location. The two shops on each side of her are making mad money but she is always complaining of no sales because her focus is on making money with her body and not making money from her business.

Colleague or Friend?

A case of birds of a feather

Nothing wey person no go see for this Nigeria

Oh, Lord! Come to our rescue. Give us the wisdom and knowledge to discern Abanda's and their circles.

stacyadams:
. U c y its good to drink and smoke some times and have one igbo smoking friend.....it kips our brain running

the bad effect of booze and smoke is seen when you had to quote all that to type this poo.

It can only be booze and smoke if not natural mental illness.

Perfectsouth:
for a fact, she didn't connive with her brother... I will release evidences soon.. I thought she will change, I don't want my kids to go through the trauma of separation like I did.. I was trying everything to avoid a reoccurrence of what happened to my parent and since same thing happened to her, I thought she will change

Stop repeating that nonsense. The woman your dad abandoned you for, hasn't she left him now? No, continue till you find yourself six feet below, then you will tell me how you intend to give your kids that life you so much crave for .

You are really being a dummy. Yes, I say this with every offense meant, if that would knock some sense in your darn skull. How do you have further sexual relation with a woman that's had her hole screwed by another? A wife, not even a girlfriend! My kids this, my kids that... Stop being a whimp!

Cut off every form of intimate relation you have with her. Initiate divorce. With the evidence you claim to have, you have a huge chance of winning custody of the kids. She is morally corrupt and is capable of influencing those kids by her lifestyle. Is that the environment you want to raise your children in the name of not wanting to put them through the trauma of separation?

I'm so darn pissed at you. You don't cheat but you can stand a cheat. How did you get so emasculated?

Epicji:
It ll be difficult for u to get d problem solved. U have a weak pt - ur kids.brov u better cross ur mind.nothing ll happened to those kids.

I was once in ur shoe.for good 4 yrs,my n l were in d same house, no sex.las las both of us went our separate ways but l Neva stop sending upkeep money to my two kids.today they done with their university education. They beginning to understand d bad woman their mother was.

most people don't understand how emotionally draining this is to me especially when I love those kids so much.. They Re my source of inspiration to strive hard in life

Perfectsouth:
thanks bro for the words.. Since I stopped mating with her, have seen improvement.. Don't just don't want to break up with her yet cos she will do everything to stop me from seeing my kids

This guy no ja at All, e say mating
Lmao

You better enter street make You ja

Perfectsouth:
not that, I could have said this with my main account, but it was banned..
You see in life, if your first step was a mistake, you will keep having problems....
The mistake I made early in life keeps bringing more problems..
The one his brother did recently was what brought about this thread..
I have been through alot in life, from one problem to another, I keep fighting, I keep praying but if your problem lives with you, you hardly get an escape route..
Those kids should never suffer for what they knew nothing about believe me... Every decision am still making revolves around my kids..
Till today, I blame my father for every thing that has happened to me cos he was nowhere to be found when we needed him most..
And let me shock you, we now give him monthly stipends to feed himself.. The wife he wanted to die for abandoned him.

nothing good comes out in such life..you're good children that's why you can still care for your dad and God will bless you for that ..you're right the life one lives can have a negative impact or positive impact. I think you should plan your life alone not involving any of your wife or her persons. the heavens sees all your troubles and He will restore for you beyond your imagination because again you have kept yourself holy God almighty will surely grant you your hearts desire �

AddictedToTech:
You this southniyi your problem no dey finish, haba!

na him be that the popcorn seller?

Perfectsouth:
Cc royalroy

Well, I don't wNt my kids to go through what I went through so I forgave her.. God was answering my prayers and things started picking gradually.. I went to meet them, took them all out and did shopping for them..
I was planning on how to relocate them to where I was...
Now this is the revelation..
My wife has been used,thats the fact...
My photography business first collapsed.
I did about 5 businesses that just one of it can make me a millionaire, every business collapsed.. The more I sleep with her, the more things become worse for me...
All these revelation came after I was told to pray and fast..

When things started picking gradually for me this year, I payed for a shop 300k,it was almost my son's birthday. So I went to see them.. We slept together, I came back after the birthday.. Could you believe, I was chased away from that shop and till now, I was only able to recover just 50k from the money..
Before my mom's birthday again, I was doing some business and it started picking. Went for my mom's, she came for the birthday too, we slept together, and when I came back to my business, the war I fought was unfathomable.. It collapsed too..
I am a very prayerful person and believe me, in the 8yrs we've been together, I never slept with another woman. I sweared with everything they gave me cos they couldn't believe me..
Before my daughter's birthday, God was merciful to me and I started another business.. I was warned severely never to sleep with her again.. Till now, my business is gradually picking and am able to send them money for upkeep and my kids school fees....

Now this my wife have an immediate younger brother who is a travel agent, I remember last year I introduced a friend to him and even vouch and stood for him that nothing will go wrong.. Truly he did this guy's traveling to Dubai and the guy went.. But we didn't know what happened and this guy came back.. Maybe he was deported or not, nobody knows but this my friend came to arrest me and I was told to produce my Inlaw.. He came and we were both locked up for 3days..along the line, the matter got settled, I parted with some money after selling one of my equipment. And he too also raised some money.. So this year, when things were already picking up for me, he got into another problem and this time, they were gonna jail him, so I borrowed him 100k and he promised to pay them 50k monthly till he complete the payment.. It was a travel gone sour though I know some people he has done traveling for and they are doing fine in their respective country of choice.

So this year, someone decided to help me travel out, he gave me UNIVERSITY OF MANITOBA admission processing fees, it was 120cad, but I gave this my Inlaw 150$ believing that atleast, since I am his Inlaw and have done him alot of goods before nothing will go wrong..
That was in August..
Fast forward to 2days ago, I messaged University of Manitoba since I wasn't getting any update, and I was told my application was not submitted neither paid for, I almost collapsed... So what he did was doctored some documents and sent to me and I believed him..
Right now, I am in a fix..
About my wife's promiscuity, I have all evidence of their chat..
After forgiving her over that chat, when I went for my daughter's birthday, I wanted to go through her phone, she gave me a heavy fight that I can't go through her phone, the phone I bought for her with my money..
When she slept, I opened it with her Fingerprint.
The chats there are so damaging. Some have slept with her and still wanting to do more, some she is already negotiating with.
She works in a beer parlor now and she is already using waist beads, she knows I hate these things..

I can't tell it all but if you have a question to ask, or anything you think I missed, ask me and i will tell you the truth..
My Inlaw hasn't pick my call to tell me why that happened..

If you think this is a fabricated story,
I have all evidences.
If enough people ask for it, I will release it here..

..Na beg u beg you no release any picture here it won't take away the pain or change a thing.

Error

Perfectsouth:
no matter what happens, those kids will never suffer their mother's sin....
Wish she could give me my kids but she is using them as her bargaining chip

I am assuming your story to be true and would first express sympathy for all the troubles you've had to deal with.

This part about not making your kids suffer for their mom's sins or/and their mom using them as a bargaining chip is one thing, which may ultimately prevent you breaking from the apparent cycle of poverty which entanglement with your wife causes.

I have lived long enough to be sensitive to situations and flee any relationship/entanglement to could lead to further complications of this "just" one life I have live for several decades that has really not been "balanced".

To help you understand fully, I am married with an adorable 2.5yr old daughter, but should any misfortune befall me on account of my wife's commission or indiscretions (God forbid!), then she can take my daughter along with her if she so chooses.

If a sequence has been established wherein you lose economic standings after intercourse with your wife, and this was buttressed by a revelation, then what are you waiting for? To keep moving in circles until you are drained of youthful vigour or the desire to be ambitious?

Wetin dey do you?

murphyrichy:
[b][/b][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font][color=#990000][/color] This your story looks somehow, you said that your wife slept with the Yahoo guy, and that the Yahoo boy knows both of you, but some where along the line you said someone she has not met before. so how come?

Mumu, big head nor be big sense. Didn't you read all that the Op stated? Na wah o for you sef.

Please Sue for custody of your kids,don't let your daughter learn from her mother

The truth of the matter is, the only solution to OP's problem, op will not do it. I know this type of men. They will keep going back to there vomit. No matter the advice you give him he will won't follow it.

The only solution is to break up with the woman totally and take custody of those children but Op won't do it, I can bet my balls.

Take those children away from her else the female one will turn exactly like the mother a cheap slut just as your wife learn everything from her mother too.

And let me tell you, that woman will be the cause of you death in the long run if you keep on with her.

Series from Mike ejeagha

RightToReject:
It's unfortunate that you weren't discerning enough not to have got involved with an opportunist in an affair like marriage, and the worst is the fact that you lack the grit to crush her or kick her out now that you know. Her opportunistic nature is the main issue, not her unresourcefulness. A resourceful opportunist is twice pernicious that an unresourceful one like her, especially one who doesn't have an altruistic interest in you. Of course, opportunism is genderless.

let me open my phone dictionary. Your verbosity is extra

Yam pepper scatter scatter.... Na wa o

there's no perfect marriage or life here in Earth....
Gradually you are entering into what you feared but you failed to understand that you love your children contrary to what your father did to you

Now here's my advice from the stand point of a believer..... part from your wife ...she's only with you for the name of marriage and I have a husband but she would destroy you and your kids if you don't stand up and fight that demon in sheep's clothing

just reading you type is sorrowful enough message me I've got words for you but I can only relay it privately

I know you love her with all your heart but until she's really ready to give her life to Jesus and do away with all that's evil..your marriage will never progress but your business will if you don't copulate with her ....

I ask you to message me because it's not gonna be easy at all this battle you are shying from ..you must fight it oooo if you love your home

I didn't ask you to divorce her I meant part from her but only temporary

Op, you just knowingly messed up your life. Cannot welcome a promiscuous woman, even if kids are involved.

You knew her life style before you settled as husband and wife. Before then, she use to sneak out and go clubbing and still come back to beg you.

Left with kids, same of her mom that told you off, still came begging and you accepted her back because of the kids.

Listen, you are a weak man and cannot run a home.

Bleep her and the kids. Are you even sure you fathered those kids in the first place? Back off, you just messed your life.

Lawsaite:
Op your business failing is not related in any way to your wife. If you have evidence of her promiscuity, sue for divorce and claim your children. It's biblical, you wouldn't be commiting a sin. You've given your wife too much free hand already

please quote him with this

ststyreal:
Well, i remember an adage that says " birds of the same feathers flocks together". Which one come be your own. Any girl wey dey do wetin i no dey do, i no dey near her sef talk more of making friends with her.
Oga Op, the moment you noticed she is the club type and you no like club things why didn't you end the relationship immediately?
I do advice men, especially my own brothers, never you marry a woman because of her beauty, rather marry her because of her good character, look at her heart and her upbringing.
You see club girl, you go marry, which advice do you need again?.
Well, if you still want to keep your vow, take her for deliverance now abi?
Infact, i am out of advice for you because na you do yourself. But, kindly take care of your kids.
May God almighty come to your aid amennnnn...

truth. I've never been to a club in my life. So what will make me to date a club girl?

I don't know if someone else have told you b4 ...pls go and run HIV and other STDs tests.
Sorry to say this but men as weak as you should not have any business with marriage.
When you lack the power to lead and subdue a woman she will run wild....this is what happened to you.

GO DNA TEST.... TO BE VERY SURE THAT THOSE KIDS NA YOURS... SO U NO COME DEY FATHER ANOTHER PERSON SON/DAUGHTER...#

Perfectsouth:
thanks for your words bro..
You see, some of us just want to live a life of one man one wife, no broken home, peace of mind and have a very happy home..
There is no way I explain it that people will understand the indept of it but I thank everyone for understanding..
Am even surprised no one is saying maybe am lying or trying to paint her bad, seems most people have witnessed this type of thing first hand

I've tried so hard not to comment bcuz so many things have been said and allot of advise has been dished out but somehow, you got me typing this bcuz of what you said up here.

Bro, there's generational curse and there's also self-induced curse. Your dad is the genesis of the whole predicaments and it's gradually becoming hereditary in your bloodline. The chances that your son won't face similar family/spousal issue is slim but I pray the yoke will be broken before their time. I'm in similar shit as you are but the prize am paying to break that generational curse on my head is killing itself.

Explaining the rationale behind your self inflicted stupidity to a third-party will always be a daunting task, but las las, please, for the sake of those children, seek divorce in court and save those evidence you have on Google drive so that you'll have them saved permanently bcuz those children might need to see it when they grow older.

You equally have to find a way to be in custody of the children. Ride on the fact that your mother-in-law supported her to leave you for another stranger when the going got tuff. And you can't trust their parenting astuteness to instill the right value in your kids considering their questionable character.

At the end, most men have this stupid decisions we've made in life but somehow, we stand by it and learn from them. It all started on a wrong note when she showed you all the rainbow coloured lights back in school but you ignored. Shit happens. Move on!

CsRockefeller:
O boy

Some women dey sha, I won't make a mistake in choosing a spouse, e too sure for me, I can't.

Original Mumu, na your type go end up marrying the Op's type of women or worse one sef.

Ewu Gambia

Perfectsouth:
thanks bro for the words.. Since I stopped mating with her, have seen improvement.. Don't just don't want to break up with her yet cos she will do everything to stop me from seeing my kids

you be mumu

InvertedHammer:
/
When your in-laws are very excited about your marriage to their daughter, it is either:

She is from a very good family
OR
They are glad they have pushed their liability to a loser.

Knowing the difference is very difficult. Sometimes a tad too late.

If my mother-in-law dance too much, I no do again. Something is fishy.
/

hahahaha
U dey mad too

Epicji:
It ll be difficult for u to get d problem solved. U have a weak pt - ur kids.brov u better cross ur mind.nothing ll happened to those kids.

I was once in ur shoe.for good 4 yrs,my n l were in d same house, no sex.las las both of us went our separate ways but l Neva stop sending upkeep money to my two kids.today they done with their university education. They beginning to understand d bad woman their mother was.

Methinks he isnt sufficiently distressed by his endless rigmaroles yet.

If he has situated where the problems lie, why not totally extricate himself even if it means not having access to his two kids.

Hopefully, when he's had his fill, he would make the very tough decision.

Your mother-in-law is a bad woman, her daughter (your wife) is and if care is not taken your daughter too will follow same path..

I don't know the problem with these girls, they never listen or learn till they fall in wrong hands and bring bad luck to innocent young men they end up with.. A ritualist driving benz is who you sleep with and you think you won't be a sacrificial lamb for his wealth.
@OP sorry is your case o.. nothing we can do to help you.

coolsegun2002:
body count doesn't matter....body count doesn't matter...
still...make calculated risk....a sexually responsible lady is a calculated risk....dont mention me..I've used 2 valium tablet

Sorry to digress, why do you take 2 Valium tabs? Is that safe? What benefit do you get? Thanks

Perfectsouth:
thanks bro for the words.. Since I stopped mating with her, have seen improvement.. Don't just don't want to break up with her yet cos she will do everything to stop me from seeing my kids

Bro, I read your story with interest and although a lot of people have given you their advice, let me just say a few things to you:

1. Your father is not your problem. Grow out of that sentiment. From the age of 18, if you survive that age, your destiny is in your hands and not that of anybody.

2. You don't have a wife. You only have a bedmate. Divorce her. Scripturally, she's committed more things to even justify more than that advice. That woman doesn't love you but uses you to only meet her needs while junketing about with a wayward lifestyle.

3. This is Africa. This is Nigeria. Why should she keep your children from you? Are you OK at all? Didn't you pay her bride price? You are the one to keep the children and she'd be begging everybody to beg you so she can see them.

4. Cut your relationship with your bedmate and her family and move on with your life. You are blaming your father and saying you don't want your children to suffer what you and your siblings suffered. But have you ever given it a thought that your children should never stay under the influence of their mother?

You are weak and it is embarrassingly annoying to me.

I pity men like you who indulge in stupid sentiments until they now face their regrets in quantum dimensions. If you don't want your story to continue to ring aloud on Nairaland, so that some people will keep saying to you "You again!", man up and take the decisions above.

Life happens but tough people take life by the horns and win their battles.

Be a man and stop these guilt trips and sucking up to a woman who doesn't deserve to bear your name.

I am ashamed and angry for you!

mmmmmmm

shortgun:
I don't know if someone else have told you b4 ...pls go and run HIV and other STDs tests.
Sorry to say this but men as weak as you should not have any business with marriage.
When you lack the power to lead and subdue a woman she will run wild....this is what happened to you.

Exactly. The guy is too weak for a man. No common sense.

I bet you, those kids might not be his and he is dying and sleeping with a street girl. It is even disgusting hearing op say, my wife even works in a beer joint.

Op, you don't have a wife and it is even a disgrace coming here to seek for advise.