Afamed:

Have you also considered the OP financial situation?

boyjo:


The wife may not be insensitive.
The op didn't tell her things are hard.
He didn't tell her he borrowed the money.
They don't talk openly so the wife feels there is more from where that 30k came from.

thatigboman:
if it were me, i will ask all of them to leave my house immediately. If my wife wants to join them, so be it.

T817:
I returned home from my shop only to find my wife 4 siblings in my house I wasn’t happy because she didn’t informed me they were coming over and in this economy when the country is hard why would they come all four of them at the same time.

My mother in law came for omugwo she stayed for 5 weeks, she left 3 weeks ago I had given my wife 30k the money I borrowed from a good friend of mine to get her some few things to take home, then 3 weeks after, her 4 siblings are here too, they are 6. The last born who is 10 have been staying with us for 2 years now. I take care of her, my wife doesn’t work and I am only managing I don’t know why her people want to
drain me.

Can you imagine as soon as I entered the house, her sisters were asking me about their Christmas gifts, "brother where is our gift?" As if I am their ATM. I just ignored them because I was already angry seeing them in my house without my permission but keeping calm was the best thing to do.

What shocked me was the fact her brother was comfortably sleeping in my bed next to my 2 months old baby. My wife didn’t see it as anything bad she said he is her brother and wouldn’t harm his own niece but my point was not about him doing something wrong with her but the fact that he doesn’t have any respect for my bed that what really got me angry which led to my wife and I to quarrell not in their presence but in our room but since it’s only parlour and room self con I believe they must have heard everything but I don’t care.

My Wife thinks I am overreacting and I don’t like her siblings and she said she will tell her parents everything I said to her in anger which I didn’t meant to but nobody in my position will be happy if he happened to be in my shoe. How do I handle this problem with my wife without causing any further problems between us and her parents because I don’t have money to feed 4 more mouths for 2 weeks because they are not leaving any time soon not until the 3rd or 4th of January and before her siblings came she complained about her Christmas clothes and hair. I told her I will only do Christmas for the kids because I don’t have money she frowned her face and started giving me attitudes and on top of that she has invited her 4 siblings when I don’t have a kobo to feed all of them.

Even the food we have in the house won’t even last until January because I bought enough for 5 people but now with 9 of us it won’t last and her siblings are expecting me to do Christmas for them too , I don’t blame them because they are small children 20,18,15,12 who thinks that I have a skeleton in my cupboard where I get free money lol.

What should I do right now ? I am not happy Your advice is needed please

RedPanthar:




Shut up


I've trained atleast 7. Just shut it and get lost

RedPanthar:



That's how you people die before women. Mental and psychological stress. Why won't men die before women. You carry everything to the heart. While the women leave it to God.

I repeat it's not about finances. There are men that hate thier wives around their family or friends or anyone not him and his blood and that's the situationship. I maintain my stance.

TheGift:


You conveniently missed the part where He told His wife, he only had money to buy Christmas stuff for the kids, abi?

Gerrard59:


Na why I dey fear ladies wey get plenty siblings esp if she is the first child or daughter. More than two siblings, I am not interested.

Klass99:


Bros, I don't think you have an understanding father in law or understanding in-laws at all.

Is he not aware that you live in a parlour and one room self contain? Did he not know (before) all the things he said during his phone call about how much you've spent? Why did he still agree for one of the siblings to go and stay with you guys for 5 days knowing all these?

If your father in law is as understanding as you claim, he should have asked that his whole brood return to his house at once, he shouldn't have asked you to keep them till Monday.

This people know what they are doing abeg, I am sure your father in law heard of the quarrel between you and your wife and your displeasure, so he called with this sob story to subtly manipulate you into doing what they wanted all along.

You ma reason am now, how can four of your young kids be absent in your house and you will claim, you had no knowledge of their whereabouts or plans.

I honestly feel sorry for you, you have married from a family that is not thoughtful or considerate at all. Na poverty alleviation scheme you dey so.

boyjo:

E be like say you no sabi women.

"I have money only for the kids" no mean "na my last card be this", for woman ear o.
I dey tell you sy this woman fit no know say that prized 30k na borrow.

They need to work on their communication.
They need to be open.

Midas01:
What is the problem with you NL men on this forum? A woman makes a mistake and you're blaming women for this. Let me just stop here.

Nicklaus619:


You are still a child, quote me when u have grown, and this time, with sense.
adios

boyjo:


E be like say you no sabi women.

"I have money only for the kids" no mean "na my last card be this", for woman ear o.
I dey tell you say, this woman fit no know say that prized 30k na borrow im husband borrow am.

They need to work on their communication.
They need to be open.

T817:
I returned home from my shop only to find my wife 4
What should I do right now ? I am not happy Your advice is needed please

Skyfornia:


Your wife is very insensitive...if I were you, I'll just drop small money that will be enough for her and my kids, then travel/leave the house without telling her...won't come back until her siblings leave.

ebby9z:
There are two girls I've dated and parted ways with because I noticed that I'd die young if I married them.

First one was a first born and they are poor and from her gist, they are already waiting for her to marry me so that I can take care of her siblings.

I ran.

Second one was last born and the only girl, most of her elder brothers aren't working and she flippantly mentioned one day that her dad was like it's her husband that will finish their house.

I ran.

My current babe is comfortable. She works, her parents also work and are not entitled and she helps my dream.

I'm also from a poor family and we don't disturb anyone. I'm trying very hard to escape poverty and I'm on the right path. I don't want anybody to make my journey longer.

Men take too much stress on themselves just to be seen as 'responsible' and then work hard like donkey while looking like a pauper in their tattered clothes just to please everyone and then drop dead before their wives.

Could never be me. I'd rather live and die single and live a life of enjoyment and fulfilment.

TheGift:


First you say 7k should be enough, now you say it's not about finances. Oga/Madam what exactly is your stance, beyond your one sided take on the issue?

Like many have said, I think you have a comprehension (or communication) problem. And you are also very unwilling to take correction.

RedPanthar:




Lol. You fell for it. It's just trapping to make the wife look like a villain. It's just some days. It's just rice here and there and they are gone.


You should encourage him to be loving and more accommodating and that it won't last beyond a few days.


Those other side attractions are mere trappings.

DukeJoe17:
T817 listen to this very carefully,
Don't ever in your life again express your dissatisfaction towards a woman with words because it will makes you a weak and a nagging husband especially if talking things out had failed in subsequent approach.
Just be yourself guy,
Don't increase your budget beyond what you had planned to spend during this Yuletide,
Allow your wife to feel the scourge of her insensitivity,
Leave the house and go to your work so that you won't see the anguish on their faces.
Since she is trying to make you uncomfortable kindly turn the table against her without any harsh argument,
Action speaks loud.
Your happiness should be Paramount because life is to short to waste and not even your wife should treat your life carelessly.

phorget:
Me I've been wise from day one, if I haven't made enough cash then nothing will make me marry the first born of a struggling family.

ParkleElegant:





She isn't a baby to be told that things are hard around to house.... It not everything that need to be told some are done through observations,To me I think she is just selfish,self centered lady if she can't know what are husband his facing.... Nah only pikin u go try explain everything too but she is grown up except if she is immature in her thinking and way of doing things

RedPanthar:
Continue deceiving yourself. You can deceive gullible people but not me.


You're the breed of men that are so overly possessive you don't want your wife to be around anyone of influence especially her family besides you.


YOU COVERTLY HATE YOUR WIVE'S FAMILY AND SADLY YOU'RE NOT DISCREET ENOUGH TO HIDE THE DUSGUST. YOU CAN'T STAND THEM TO TOLERATE THEM LET ALONE TO EMBRACE THEM AS YOUR OWN.

I PRAY YOU KNOW THE FUTURE AND CAN SEE IF YOUR KIDS WILL NEVER NEED THEIR HELP FOREVER THAT WAY I CAN ASSURE YOU TO CONTINUE WITH YOUR ANTICS. UNTIL THEN, TRED SOFTLY.

There are a specie of men that hate it when a woman's family or friends is around her. And use all sorts of antics to act victimised.

Only God will deliver you from you and teach you different ways of doing things. Your children would grow up too and become adults, should brothers not visit sisters and vice versa. When it's time to shine with opportunity some men act coy.


7k will enough rice and small meat to entertain your guests for the short duration they will be around.


Be Christ-like, Christ-mas is about sharing not only about eating rice.


Stop deceiving people in the time being. You know it's hatred you have for her being around her family and not about money




Should anything happen to you tomorrow, those are the ones that would stand for her, your kids and even you. And it's how you draw them close with what you have now that will make them endear to you should the chips fall down on your end however plenty your tiny peanuts maybe as of the moment.


You will know them ladies. They are the kinds that assume thier wives fell from heaven. Once they get married to them they don't want their wives to be around anybody, friends or family.



There's also female versions. These women marry them give them the entire world. They will never be with you or love you atall and will only stick around cause of favors they get in the marriage. They won't give happiness and after a few years leave you down the line.


It's a personality-complex. Open your eyes to find these kinds out to do the needful.

TheGift:


It is possible they need to work on their communication. When I tell my Wife A, A is what it means, I try not to allow room for miscommunication. Thank God we both understand English and that, it is what it is.

RedPanthar:
Continue deceiving yourself. You can deceive gullible people but not me.


You're the breed of men that are so overly possessive you don't want your wife to be around anyone of influence especially her family besides you.


YOU COVERTLY HATE YOUR WIVE'S FAMILY AND SADLY YOU'RE NOT DISCREET ENOUGH TO HIDE THE DUSGUST. YOU CAN'T STAND THEM TO TOLERATE THEM LET ALONE TO EMBRACE THEM AS YOUR OWN.

I PRAY YOU KNOW THE FUTURE AND CAN SEE IF YOUR KIDS WILL NEVER NEED THEIR HELP FOREVER THAT WAY I CAN ASSURE YOU TO CONTINUE WITH YOUR ANTICS. UNTIL THEN, TRED SOFTLY.

There are a specie of men that hate it when a woman's family or friends is around her. And use all sorts of antics to act victimised.

Only God will deliver you from you and teach you different ways of doing things. Your children would grow up too and become adults, should brothers not visit sisters and vice versa. When it's time to shine with opportunity some men act coy.


7k will enough rice and small meat to entertain your guests for the short duration they will be around.


Be Christ-like, Christ-mas is about sharing not only about eating rice.


Stop deceiving people in the time being. You know it's hatred you have for her being around her family and not about money




Should anything happen to you tomorrow, those are the ones that would stand for her, your kids and even you. And it's how you draw them close with what you have now that will make them endear to you should the chips fall down on your end however plenty your tiny peanuts maybe as of the moment.


You will know them ladies. They are the kinds that assume thier wives fell from heaven. Once they get married to them they don't want their wives to be around anybody, friends or family.



There's also female versions. These women marry them give them the entire world. They will never be with you or love you atall and will only stick around cause of favors they get in the marriage. They won't give happiness and after a few years leave you down the line.


It's a personality-complex. Open your eyes to find these kinds out to do the needful.