Hi people

Need some advice (especially from the ladies) please. My wife is naturally pretty, yet she uses a lot of make up and I have told her several times times that I do not like that. I've always admired very natural women (but I dont mind mild makeup). I have told her my feelings about ladies with very heavy makeup - It generally gives me the impression of a street girl (apologies to any1 who finds this offensive - but this is really my feeling). I have always told her heavy make up reminds me of the girls on Allen at night.

She also likes to chew gum and make very funny sounds that I find quite irritating.

What else do I need to do to make her stop all these?

Geez what kind of human being are you? If you wanted a stepford wife or a doll baby, go buy one and free the woman jo.
You dated her for a while before you married her. You saw this things in her when you first met. I get the feeling you were attracted to her make up at that time. Now you are  whining and complaining.
GERROUTTTT and go tend to the more important things in your family other than her makeup and chewing gum. Hypocrite!!!!

eeehhh! scratching head, @OP question is when did you start seeing al these things? is it before or after you got married?

Now, you saying that she putting on the staff reminds you of the girls on Allen at night, sorry my brother but you've just started a war, that was unkind (clearing throat) coming from a husband.

Generally I find no excuse for chewing gum, its tackey she must leave it for some day dreaming 16 year old.

Something tells me that there's more to the story than you are letting us in on. I have no doubt that she's been chewing gum since the age of gum and you had no problem with it, and now out of the thick blue it irritates you. Ask yourself why?

Girls stay away from gum its not the one period. For breath freshener, well if that's your excuse use mint sweets, tiny one, please.

The first time they met, she was walking on the street with heavy makeup and chewing gum like crazy. He tried his moves but she shunned him. He returned the next day with gifts of money,makeup and gum. She became convince the dude was really into accepting her just the way she is. FAst forward months after marriage, Dude is whining probably his friend(s) have made some side comments on ladies that put on makeup and eat gum. Now he feels embarrassed to call her his wife.

Advice to OP, divorce her.

[s]funny enough, my husband has these two complaints about me[/s] you cannot change what she is used to doing. the exception however is if she started after you met. in my own case, he met me with my make up and now he wants me to go natural

Say what the problem really is. Leave the excuses.

Why should this even be a problem? If you've talked to her about it, there shouldn't be a problem dropping the habit.

^^^which of the complaints do you consider a bad habbit?

The chewing of gum and making funny sounds loudly isn't cool, neither is it, to go with with someone that looks like a poorly painted puppet.

I want to believe by heavy makeup, the poster meant heavy makeup - excess this and that.

use the exit door, u aint in a box.

ferdiii:

use the exit door, u aint in a box.

to go where

@ Missy, ok i can at least speak for myself. my hubby complains i wear heavy makeup when in the real sense, all i use is just foundation, powder, eyepencil and eyeshadow i dont even use lipstickand i do it moderately yet he complains. some men just like to whip up sentiments

iyatrustee:

@ Missy, ok i can at least speak for myself. my hubby complains i wear heavy makeup when in the real sense, all i use is just foundation, powder, eyepencil and eyeshadow i dont even use lipstickand i do it moderately yet he complains. some men just like to whip up sentiments

I know some men can whine even when there isn't a reason to, that's why I said

I want to believe by heavy makeup, the poster meant heavy makeup - excess this and that.

Assuming she actually wears heavy makeup, what would it cost her to reduce the application/quantity? If anything, it's even for her benefit - She would probably look better, her husband stops complaining [ -1 problem], and everyone is happy in this regard.

Come to think of it, you really didn't wear heavy makeup on your wedding day- Judging from your profile pic. 
Iyastrustee is married? 

^^^you is not serious! and yes iyatrustee is married with kids

**Prostrates** Good morning, ma.

Missy ★ B:

The chewing of gum and making funny sounds loudly isn't cool, neither is it, to go with with someone that looks like a poorly painted puppet.

I want to believe by heavy makeup, the poster meant heavy makeup - excess this and that.

@Missy B. Thank you my sister- finally some1 reasons with me. I'd stated earlier that i dont mind moderate make up- In fact I buy my wife make up stuff sometime so its not like i dont apreciate any make up at all but I dont like red lipstick, green eye shadows, ur know all the very loud stuff all at once.

What I dont seem to get is if these replies suggest I should just shut up?? If I cant tell my wife what I like and what I dont then who should?
Na wao!

FYI - the gum chewing sound is kinda strange to me- she's always chewed gum but that irritating noise started lately (or maybe i only noticed lately)

@OP
I can understand how u feel abt the noise that goes with chewing  gum. But the make-up? I dont. Make ups make ladies  look bright and attractive-there can be no denying that. Also makes them look sexy too. For those who want their ladies to look upscale and dignified there is an appropriate make up for that.

Besides it is a morale booster for most ladies. You should compliment and encourage your wife to use make-up, not discourage her

same thing my boyfriend complains about, he wants me to stay off makeup completely because all his friends girlfriends don't use make-up and he says it makes me look older and horrible (his words).  To stave off fights, i sometime give in to his wishes. What i shall not do however is to completely abide to his wishes. He approached me with all my made up face and all, and now he thinks he can change me with the snap of his fingers?

MyTake:

@Missy B. Thank you my sister- finally some1 reasons with me. I'd stated earlier that i dont mind moderate make up- In fact I buy my wife make up stuff sometime so its not like i dont apreciate any make up at all but I dont like red lipstick, green eye shadows, your know all the very loud stuff all at once.

I understand and I repeat, unless one just wants to be unnecessarily stubborn, it shouldn't be difficult dropping these habits. Seriously.

MyTake:

What I dont seem to get is if these replies suggest I should just shut up?? If I cant tell my wife what I like and what I dont then who should?
Na wao!

I can see you're quite new on NL, and I'd say do not take every 'person' and comment seriously. . . .You'd be surprised at the kinda comments people make.   On this board [Romance] especially, most people type before they think  

MyTake:

FYI - the gum chewing sound is kinda strange to me- she's always chewed gum but that irritating noise started lately (or maybe i only noticed lately)

It's annoying, I know. I sat close to a dude sometime and he continuously made 'this' sound while chewing gum, I felt like 'killing' him. Worst thing is, the dude ignored the bad look I gave him constantly, and kept chewing the gum. Had he been someone I know, I swear down, I woulda given him a hard knock.   It's not cool, I know.

MyTake:

(or maybe i only noticed lately)

i read somewhere that when marriage starts becoming stale and boring, the glass kinda shatters and spouses start noticing irritating habits by the other spouse they never noticed before. Little things starts to irritate them, and even things that once excites them begin to disgust them. The problem may not be your wife's noisy gum chewing, or even the make up (you say is loud) but may be one of those underlying issues of marriage.

My Advice? try to inject some of the previous sparks in the marriage, try to see her in those eyes you used to see her. Just know that the gum and make up may not be the problem as there maybe an underlying issue. find out what it is, and you may just be on your way to save your marriage.

Amya:

i read somewhere that when marriage starts becoming stale and boring, the glass kinda shatters and spouses start noticing irritating habits by the other spouse they never noticed before. Little things starts to irritate them, and even things that once excites them begin to disgust them. The problem may not be your wife's noisy gum chewing, or even the make up (you say is loud) but may be one of those underlying issues of marriage.

My Advice? try to inject some of the previous sparks in the marriage, try to see her in those eyes you used to see her. Just know that the gum and make up may not be the problem as there maybe an underlying issue. find out what it is, and you may just be on your way to save your marriage.

Thanks Amya

I think the administrator of this forum should introduce 'award points' for reasonable responses.

The truth is usually bitter.
Unfortunately, you are already married. So carry and enjoy your cross. What happens to accepting people for who they are? You have admitted she hasn't changed. You met her like that, and she was good enough for you to date, and then marry. If you admit the truth to yourself, you will find that it is the control freak in you that is coming out instead of tackling what the real underlying issue is.
She did not lie to you or decieve you in marriage. Now you feel you can change her just on a whim?
FYI I hate heavy makeup and I can't stand chewing gum. But I do not go dating women who do any of that. I like long hair and hate wigs so I date women with long hair. I still do not let go of my values. Kapish.

@OP

R u sure na your wife or na one of the girls u saw from that alley abi 'allen'. . .

well i am glad you are in favour of 'natural' beauty and do not entirely reject the use of make-up, also that your not doing it for your own selfish needs.

I think you should maybe talk to some1 who she will listen to, really it'S either she wants to be 'wild' or maybe she's passing through some faze.

I mean was she always like that? anywayz still try to talk 2 her, and expLain to her that you think she looks much more beautiful without so much make-up.

deniyor:

Geez what kind of human being are you? If you wanted a stepford wife or a doll baby, go buy one and free the woman jo.
You dated her for a while before you married her. You saw this things in her when you first met. I get the feeling you were attracted to her make up at that time. Now you are  whining and complaining.
GERROUTTTT and go tend to the more important things in your family other than her makeup and chewing gum. Hypocrite!!!!

**********Stones agbalumor's seed on deniyor BIG HEAD, and asks************* how is he a hypocrite he said he doesn't like it wetin consign u yu ppl just to feel among just like spiting shit they themselves dont undestand okay deniyor wetin be the meaning of 'hypocrite' if u kan tell me i wud give u d keys to my house in japan the one near the place where tsunami took place, so answer and u just might be a proud owner of a bungalow

hey bro! what of the kutonu trip

LesbianBoy:

**********Stones agbalumor's seed on deniyor BIG HEAD, and asks************* how is he a hypocrite he said he doesn't like it wetin consign u yu ppl just to feel among just like spiting poo they themselves dont undestand okay deniyor wetin be the meaning of 'hypocrite' if u kan tell me i wud give u d keys to my house in japan the one near the place where tsunami took place, so answer and u just might be a proud owner of a bungalow

1: a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
2: a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hypocrite

He knows he doesnt like chewing gum, and 'excessive' makeup. Yet he goes for a woman with 'excessive' makeup. He even buys her makeup to encourage her. Then he comes here to whine like a bit*h.

Now hand me the keys

deniyor:

1: a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
2: a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hypocrite

He knows he doesnt like chewing gum, and 'excessive' makeup. Yet he goes for a woman with 'excessive' makeup. He even buys her makeup to encourage her. Then he comes here to whine like a bit*h.

Now hand me the keys

Oya take the keys, when u get to the airport call me so i will call Chin fu, or kung lee to come pick u up and show u ur new bungalow

iyatrustee:

hey bro! what of the kutonu trip

U ve just been punked

So as you can see, you are the one spitting poo.

deniyor:

So as you can see, you are the one spitting poo.

Marry a new wife then. . .

deniyor:

The truth is usually bitter.
Unfortunately, you are already married. So carry and enjoy your cross. What happens to accepting people for who they are? You have admitted she hasn't changed. You met her like that, and she was good enough for you to date, and then marry. If you admit the truth to yourself, you will find that it is the control freak in you that is coming out instead of tackling what the real underlying issue is.
She did not lie to you or decieve you in marriage. Now you feel you can change her just on a whim?
FYI I hate heavy makeup and I can't stand chewing gum. But I do not go dating women who do any of that. I like long hair and hate wigs so I date women with long hair. I still do not let go of my values. Kapish.

And let the truth be said, Kapish indeed.