You need deliverance.

ebosed:


You give woman sperm, she process and give you a child. Never speak carelessly, Never promise her anything, cause she won't forget. Don't talk and do. Do and talk.

Your wife is trying to boost your self-esteem, appreciate her. And pay her money. If you borrow from bank or friends, don't you payback with Interest?

Double your hustle

DEmejioba1:
I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.

To cut the story short,

Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families.

The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it.

Secondly, immediately after the marriage,I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.

Thirdly, few months after our marriage. We were having misunderstanding and I carelessly said if the marriage can not work it better we go our separate ways, my wife holds on this statement and continue saying that she just need me to say it twice more and the marriage is over.

But I used to think over all these with other ones that I cant write, then, I ask myself if truly she loves me or may be am with wrong person.

What is your thought about this?

Mtchew. Who gave his daughter to this boy?

TIL...

Wives are things to be purchased.

RisenPhoenix1:


I saw it earlier, but didn't want to grace it with a response if not for your mention. I'm actually speechless as to how to advise him. The op is the author of all his misfortunes, yet he's wondering whether he married the right woman. A woman is how you train her. Let me write out an analogy and tell me how you will advice such a person. Here goes:

I bought a brand new Toyota Hilux, tear rubber on credit. I've still not been able to pay the seller and he keeps incessantly reminding me of my debt, even though he gave me a receipt in advance.

I don't like to check the water levels in my radiator, and sometimes when I do and there's no water, the tap is too far from my garage so I'll drive it without topping the water. Recently it started overheating, that was what first got me thinking.

Brake oil is too expensive, so I don't gauge the brake oil levels in my car. After two brake failures leading to accidents, I'm getting confused about what to do.

I forgot to put engine oil inside my car after I drained the sump, and my engine knocked. Now it's not even moving at all,and the cost is prohibitive.

All these incidents make me wonder whether Toyota Hilux is the right car for me at all. Please advise.

1,2,3...go.

He said he wanted a 60 k apartment that he could afford, she is the one that pushed for 100k.

Why are they not sharing the expense? He brings 60k and she brings 40k?

Rushna27:
with all dat u ave explained, to me u are guilty ooo... where are d families dat sponsored ur wedding now, are dey experiencing all dis with you? u borrowed money from madam for an apartment of her choice without considering u bin able to sustain it..... u need to be man enough and stand ur ground on wot u can afford without bin at anyone's mercy.. well, u can keep yielding to her satisfaction if she is taking d responsibility of the head of the family.. in asmuch as u shud not disregard her opinion u too shud not fail in realising wot u can afford... two good heads are better than one not just a head ooooo... Goodluck.. and moreover, always know dat every marriage gat it's own horrible side but we all package it to make it work out.. fight for ur marriage if u wants it .Goodluck

cooooooks:
He said he wanted a 60 k apartment that he could afford, she is the one that pushed for 100k.

Why are they not sharing the expense? He brings 60k and she brings 40k?

The average Nigerian man wants to be seen and respected as the head of the family. And as such, the BULK of the financial load rests on his shoulders.
Tell them "gender equality" they get offended. Let them bear the bulk of the weight, afterall na head them be.

It is easy to say this but this is not the reality.

Across socioeconomic 'classes' and since women have been working, financial responsibility has been shared.

Chii59:

The average Nigerian man wants to be seen and respected as the head of the family. And as such, the BULK of the financial load rests on his shoulders.
Tell them "gender equality" they get offended. Let them bear the bulk of the weight, afterall na head them be.

cooooooks:
TIL...

Wives are things to be purchased.

Look beyond the transaction aspect. The analogy is meant to showcase the reasoning method of the op, not compare a car to a wife.

And in general, it's not that far off. Marriage is essentially a business transaction involving mutual exchange of services; even if we all do like to pretend that it is carried out for the sake of higher purposes like 'love'.

cooooooks:
It is easy to say this but this is not the reality.

Across socioeconomic 'classes' and since women have been working, financial responsibility has been shared.

I don't believe financial responsibility should be shared equally in a patriarchal family. Wanna be the Lord and master? Bear the weight. His money belongs to the family, my money belongs to me.
But then as you said, it's not the reality. Las Las, the woman becomes the sacrificial lamb, the glue that holds the house together.

Thankfully, people can choose how their relationships and marriages will be.

Those who want to be Lord and master (even though they are easily controlled by their wives), should expect Lord and master treatment.

Those of us that want equitable partnerships expect equitable treatment.

Chii59:

I don't believe financial responsibility should be shared equally in a patriarchal family. Wanna be the Lord and master? Bear the weight. His money belongs to the family, my money belongs to me.
But then as you said, it's not the reality. Las Las, the woman becomes the sacrificial lamb, the glue that holds the house together.

I didn't even read that part.

DEmejioba1, never make a threat you are not ready to keep.

Chii59:

Mtchew. Who gave his daughter to this boy?

cooooooks:
I didn't even read that part.

DEmejioba1, never make a threat you are not ready to keep.

The boy really acted like one. Few months into your marriage, you're already talking about separation? Which woman won't take it to heart?
Reminds me of another boy who told his wife, she wasn't his first choice, just that the woman he wanted didn't want him. I remember that post.
Silly. Immature. Juvenile. Boys.

I recently met a Mama's boy at 32. I was shocked.

This guy talks to his mother more than his (now ex) girlfriend.

The girl had to go after 6 months.

The guy was very good in most ways except this Mama's boy thing plus a few other boyish traits.

Chii59:

The boy really acted like one. Few months into your marriage, you're already talking about separation? Which woman won't take it to heart?
Reminds me of another boy who told his wife, she wasn't his first choice, just that the woman he wanted didn't want him. I remember that post.
Silly. Immature. Juvenile. Boys.

cooooooks:
I recently met a Mama's boy at 32. I was shocked.

This guy talks to his mother more than his (now ex) girlfriend.

The girl had to go after 6 months.

The guy was very good in most ways except this Mama's boy thing plus a few other boyish traits.

The mistake we Africans make is that we think age is a measure of maturity.
A 42 year old can still be a boy, in terms of maturity. Still playing games, still undecided, still tied to his mother's skirt. I've met a couple of boys like that mid to late 30s.

cooooooks:
He said he wanted a 60 k apartment that he could afford, she is the one that pushed for 100k.

Why are they not sharing the expense? He brings 60k and she brings 40k?

he shud ave stood his ground since he knows Dats wot he can conveniently afford......

Chii59:

The average Nigerian man wants to be seen and respected as the head of the family. And as such, the BULK of the financial load rests on his shoulders.
Tell them "gender equality" they get offended. Let them bear the bulk of the weight, afterall na head them be.

Be fair to the man! He does sound humble to me... He tried to cut his coat but lady Macbeth is pushing him. What do you mean, he wants to be respected as the head of the family? Not from what he has written...

He will happily share the burden with his wife but she is the one insisting on the husband being indebted to.

You came with preconceived notions and answer to the issue here...

God created Man on the 6th day and rested. I think the Devil created Woman while God was resting.

Chii59:

The boy really acted like one. Few months into your marriage, you're already talking about separation? Which woman won't take it to heart?
Reminds me of another boy who told his wife, she wasn't his first choice, just that the woman he wanted didn't want him. I remember that post.
Silly. Immature. Juvenile. Boys.

Immature boys I tell u. I also remember one thread where one told his wife that he married her because he didn't see any 25yr old to marry quickly so that he can gain his inheritance since the wife is 32.

malcom1X:
Guy be a man.
Don't ever borrow money from your wife to do anything. If you don't have tell her you don't have. That her money should be spent on her children.

Pay her dowry, don't owe her, it's her money. She saved you from embarrassment.

I guess you must be a family man. one Heineken you .


Rule number 1 as a family man of this generation.

NEVER burrow money from your wife. If you do so, you are in soup. I remembered when l used to burrow, l was surprised when she brought a book of debt. Since then l manage the resources that is available, if she want to assist good, if not, we manage what we have.

Trueigbo:
Ekechiri gi Anya mgbe gi na ya na ayi

Nwanne m, ezioku umu nyanyi bu pure evil incarnate, a ma’m that onwedi onye di perfect na’uwa, but ha di very senseless and self centered most of the time

O mgbe i luru i ga aghọta, that’s if u never marry


Abeg that ibo wey I write dia, nah freestyle ohh, I pray say u understand am, my mumsie nah ibo so I dey hia reach one point but speaking and writing get as e be

DAVE5:


Nwanne m, ezioku umu nyanyi bu pure evil incarnate, a ma’m that onwedi onye di perfect na’uwa, but ha di very senseless and self centered most of the time

O mgbe i luru i ga aghọta, that’s if u never marry


Abeg that ibo wey I write dia, nah freestyle ohh, I pray say u understand am, my mumsie nah ibo so I dey hia reach one point but speaking and writing get as e be

Jisie ike nwanne. Igbaliri ofuma.

life707:



Nice one

Thanks for the feedback.

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggarrrr
Isoright.....
See threat ....
Fear nor let the op talk am the second time again....
Bros op don't know what he has put his hand into.....
And children never start to dey come now..
If God want fuckkk you up the more now he go first give una triplet at once...

You think marriage na child's play...all those them bros don jazzy way never one hurry enter you think say them nor know wetin them dey do

But bros op ...where them for dey sell land 150k ...
Make I come buy like 20

Lol your last statement makes me throw away my cup of coffee

Though ua married to her.. but her one leg is in the marriage while the other is outside... She is just looking for slight chance to bring the other leg to the other leg... Either she leaves u completely or she enters the marriage completely. Now u will have to be a man in this marriage... Don't abuse her anymore and control ur temper wen ua vexed..

DEmejioba1

You did right to get married but you will drag yourself down if you continue to listen to the advice and desire of your wife.

Follow your heart and financial capabilities and don't borrow from your wife over anything. Women are selfish.

I listen to my sisters and do what they want, I became homeless and vow never to listen to any woman again.

Oga,
I bet my January salary, your wife is from Imo State...

I second this...

OP Please confirm.