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Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by meditator(m): 12:24pm On Jan 22, 2021
slawormiir:
If God want fuckkk you up the more now he go first give una triplet at once...
20
This is a blessing rather
Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by ORLAHOLUWA(m): 12:25pm On Jan 22, 2021
BadRadio:
Terrible story with shocking innuendos and mundane malapropism
agbagba firiyoyo awon village headmoster guy ur head burn well
Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by josiegirl27: 12:27pm On Jan 22, 2021
JudgeKronos:
Oga,
I bet my January salary, your wife is from Imo State...
seconded �
Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by rill: 12:29pm On Jan 22, 2021
nah POVERTY be the problem here.
Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by marsup: 12:30pm On Jan 22, 2021
You were never ready for marriage, so why did you jump into it? Age is not an excuse to get married. Be careful, lest you spiral into chronic depression.
It is your type that will want a woman to manage with you, but when a poor man comes to marry your beautiful daughter in the future you will say"God forbid. Anyway.......
pray and hustle well, with the right attitude, all will be well.

1 Like

Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by LadySarah: 12:32pm On Jan 22, 2021
JudgeKronos:
Oga,
I bet my January salary, your wife is from Imo State...

Your salary will surely disappear. when has Igbo girls start collecting dowry by themselves. It is the male relatives that says what. She won't even be there let alone declaring a certain amount.

The last reason should also tell you they are Hausa Muslims. They are the ones that will say it 3x and a marriage becomes void.

Don't let ethnicism kill you.

2 Likes

Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by joinnow: 12:37pm On Jan 22, 2021
the ipalibolism is kom kom
Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by Crenzywilliams(m): 12:39pm On Jan 22, 2021
Sorry pls what area is that, I want to get a land in that your area bros, thank you, secondly, don't ever tell your wife that sort of things again, well except you know you are tired and you really want quits, then pls by all means say it tow more times and free yourself from her now that you guys don't have any kids. Most importantly, pls what area can I get a land @150k, even if it's 200k. Thank you.

3 Likes

Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by RealAlubarika(m): 12:45pm On Jan 22, 2021
DEmejioba1:
I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.

To cut the story short,

Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families.

The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it.

Secondly, immediately after the marriage,I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.

Thirdly, few months after our marriage. We were having misunderstanding and I carelessly said if the marriage can not work it better we go our separate ways, my wife holds on this statement and continue saying that she just need me to say it twice more and the marriage is over.

But I used to think over all these with other ones that I cant write, then, I ask myself if truly she loves me or may be am with wrong person.

What is your thought about this?

Your marriage was started on the wrong footing. For crying out loud you're the man, why will you agree with her terms?

You're suppose to tell her what you want and how to go about it and make her reason to trust you.

We rise by lifting others
Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by jasibor(m): 12:53pm On Jan 22, 2021
Alaye double your hustle, as a wise man I always tell people this “the only way to survive the economy of the 21st century is to get multiple streams of income, swallow your pride and remain dedicated to your hustle” The struggle is real in every ramifications of life but do the right thing to save your life and marriage.

1 Like

Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by Money2000: 12:53pm On Jan 22, 2021
Never marry while you’re poor.

Women would deceive you that they are okay and things will be sorted out.... it’s a trap

1 Like

Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by Bullhari: 1:00pm On Jan 22, 2021
DEmejioba1:
I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.



The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding, my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash.

Dowry definition is - the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings to her husband in marriage
How come you are the one paying her dowry? And she is even giving you a price tag. What happens to "Don't debt it if you can't debit it?"

DEmejioba1:
Secondly, immediately after the marriage, I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.

Are you mad? How would you let her put you under such stress? She either stay in a room and parlor or assume the responsibility of the additional bills.



DEmejioba1:
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.


Please where do you stay? I am still thinking if it's even a village girl that is pushing you this up and down. 60k for a room and parlor, 100k for 2bd flat and 150k for a plot of land. Please where do you stay? help a brother looking for property
Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by malcom1X: 1:02pm On Jan 22, 2021
SmartyPants:


grin It used to be that women cried of oppression. Now I ask myself what crime did we commit to be born men?

lol...So a man cannot even expect to have help from his wife, then what is she a wife for? Sex alone?

You people don't have sense.

The help there is that when you don't have the money to pay for your children fees, she will pay for you. Because it's her child too. When there's no food, at least she will cook something. That's the help but don't borrow from her to carry out any project or anything. It won't be easy to pay back.
Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by cgniyi(m): 1:13pm On Jan 22, 2021
Room and parlour, 60k? 2 bedroom, 100k? Land, 150k? Where exactly do you stay?
Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by Renwess: 1:14pm On Jan 22, 2021
Are there still love in this part of the world?

OP. Take a look at your wife again. Who are her by conducting few test on her,

who are her friends?

What was her lifestyle before you guys got married ?

How close is she to the social media? IG, FB and co?

Has she learnt any hand work?

Is she having a paid job?

Try and sort out all these questions above and finally try any of these below;

1. I know this will be difficult but try ... Watch carefully to discourage her from keeping bad and highly materialistic and jobless friends.

2. Up your game, initiate a big life plan and start small.

3. Get her a job

4. Pray for your wedding ...
Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by 400billionman: 1:19pm On Jan 22, 2021
DEmejioba1:
I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.

To cut the story short,

Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families.

The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it.

Secondly, immediately after the marriage,I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.

Thirdly, few months after our marriage. We were having misunderstanding and I carelessly said if the marriage can not work it better we go our separate ways, my wife holds on this statement and continue saying that she just need me to say it twice more and the marriage is over.

But I used to think over all these with other ones that I cant write, then, I ask myself if truly she loves me or may be am with wrong person.

What is your thought about this?


She loves you. I don't see any serious thing here.

Don't ever threaten her that the marriage will be over. I think it's women who say such things. Be calming down.
Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by SaturnNick(m): 1:22pm On Jan 22, 2021
Mr OP, my friend shut up. This small tin you don dey rant. You think marriage Na beans. Abeg man � �
and face the challenges

1 Like

Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by Depressed101: 1:25pm On Jan 22, 2021
DEmejioba1:
I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.

To cut the story short,

Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families.

The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it.

Secondly, immediately after the marriage,I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.

Thirdly, few months after our marriage. We were having misunderstanding and I carelessly said if the marriage can not work it better we go our separate ways, my wife holds on this statement and continue saying that she just need me to say it twice more and the marriage is over.

But I used to think over all these with other ones that I cant write, then, I ask myself if truly she loves me or may be am with wrong person.

What is your thought about this?
which tribe allows the bride to dictate how much her dowry should be and allows her to collect it... Tufiakwa.... Abeg I nor fit chook mouth for this kind marriage
Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by cocolacec(m): 1:26pm On Jan 22, 2021
DEmejioba1:
I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.

To cut the story short,

Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families.

The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it.

Secondly, immediately after the marriage,I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.

Thirdly, few months after our marriage. We were having misunderstanding and I carelessly said if the marriage can not work it better we go our separate ways, my wife holds on this statement and continue saying that she just need me to say it twice more and the marriage is over.

But I used to think over all these with other ones that I cant write, then, I ask myself if truly she loves me or may be am with wrong person.

What is your thought about this?

Are you a muslim? Personally i dont see anything wrong with your wife. Women are like that,they love comfort and space.You are a struggling guy and she could be coming from an average family so understand her plight too.You want her to lower her standard for marrying you lilahi wa rasooulu.

Early on in the marriage you will have challenges and some misunderstanding as two strange fellows living under the same roof.

It is bad to pronounce talaq on her out of annoyance.I will suggest you carry her along and plan with her on the financial requirement of the family.Any money you spend on your family to acquire comfort is never a waste.

Your wife is the helpful type who doesnt mind helping out when the need arises,such women are rare.The only problem with many women is the shiregun aspect of it sometimes but men do that to women too.

Reassure your wife,love her and give her attention.Also plan the family expenses with her,marriage is a partnership and you as the man have that responsiblity 70%, 30% for the woman.

You both can pull resources together until things stabilises.My advice is dont depend on your salary alone.Do you have little ones now?
You can contact me,i want to make a private suggestion to you.
All the best in your married life.
Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by Annitakome(f): 1:27pm On Jan 22, 2021
It's obvious that both were not even ready for the marriage in the first place, so u should go ur separate ways abeg.

1 Like

Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by cocolacec(m): 1:30pm On Jan 22, 2021
Depressed101:
which tribe allows the bride to dictate how much her dowry should be and allows her to collect it... Tufiakwa.... Abeg I nor fit chook mouth for this kind marriage

Islam allows a muslim woman to determine her dowry in a marriage.

2 Likes

Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by Depressed101: 1:32pm On Jan 22, 2021
cocolacec:


Islam allows a muslim woman to determine her dowry in a marriage.
never knew
Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by afilaka(f): 1:33pm On Jan 22, 2021
malcom1X:
Guy be a man.
Don't ever borrow money from your wife to do anything. If you don't have tell her you don't have. That her money should be spent on her children.

Pay her dowry, don't owe her, it's her money. She saved you from embarrassment.

If my husband had taken this advise when he wanted to start his business, i am sure he wld stil be in the police station nw cos the other option for him was a bank loan and unfortunately business did not go as planned ,returns didnt start when expected until like few months after and i must say i am glad he didnt make his ego overshadow him. That business has turned our lives around, i used to earn more than my husband before but with this business,my salary is like tithe to him.

Ladies,if you have the means,please help your husband and dont ever use it against him. Mine paid me back and added a whole 25% to it, even if he did nt pay back,i wld ve stil be patient because he is hardworking.

3 Likes

Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by EUEA: 1:35pm On Jan 22, 2021
u did not actually luv her bt u married her out of age concideration dat where all d problems is coming 4m cause if u two luv each other lik real true luv,u would nd she would stay wit u in gud times and bad times- no insults or offences jst pray to God and ask for his help dat all

1 Like

Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by SweetDipBenny(m): 1:41pm On Jan 22, 2021
JudgeKronos:
Oga,
I bet my January salary, your wife is from Imo State...
Mbaise wife grin

1 Like

Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by cocolacec(m): 1:43pm On Jan 22, 2021
SweetDipBenny:
Mbaise wife grin

She is a muslim wife from Oduduwa Republic.
Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by cocolacec(m): 1:45pm On Jan 22, 2021
Omezif:
That's why it's good for man to work hard than his wife.
notwithstanding the woman is stingy, she would have being atleast helping you without asking you to pay back as she knows you are not financial ok.
all you can do if you are eloquent is to call her and give her a special advice that will touch her heart she will change.

Havent you seen men who collect money from their wives only to spend the same on side chicks,abeg dont blame the woman.

2 Likes

Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by Delonn(m): 1:47pm On Jan 22, 2021
DEmejioba1:
I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.

To cut the story short,

Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families.
If you have dignity, you ought to have pay her the dowry money first, before you thinking of the money you borrowed from her to complete the house rent. The 40k you borrowed from her have been paid, but you have refused to pay the most important 50k.(Dowry money) If you don't want to pay her the 50k dowry, simply tell her, so that she knows she is not your wife. You have a very low self-esteem, that is why you are thinking the way you do. You are full of self pity. Stop this your emotional blackmail You just suddenly realized that 150k could secure a plot of land in your neighborhood. Forest guard, well done.
The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it.

Secondly, immediately after the marriage,I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.

Thirdly, few months after our marriage. We were having misunderstanding and I carelessly said if the marriage can not work it better we go our separate ways, my wife holds on this statement and continue saying that she just need me to say it twice more and the marriage is over.

But I used to think over all these with other ones that I cant write, then, I ask myself if truly she loves me or may be am with wrong person.

What is your thought about this?
Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by Aarenasbaba(m): 1:52pm On Jan 22, 2021
My own stake is this, when ur wife pleases u either by doing something good. U seems to think she is d best, but when she does otherwise, u tend to regret marrying her...stick to ur wife
Re: Three Experiences That Make Me Think I'm Married To The Wrong Person by chrisj2(m): 1:56pm On Jan 22, 2021
Odingo1:

This is Africa guy, a man is responsible for his home upkeep,marriage and running of home with kids involve money, so money is a major determinant factor in marriage.

Europe, Canada,US and other developed countries you are trying to copy run a social system that cater for families but in Africa you are on your own.

There is nothing like a broke woman in Africa. A man is responsible for marriage and a woman can assist if she have and willing to do so.

It is called being progressive and no a copy copy... Women can do just as we as men, so there are broke women and women that can truly be partners in every which way. I know the one I prefer!

Men do not have to shoulder all responsibility or up their hustle just to follow silly tradition and culture.

Whether I dey for Nja or abroad, I know what is appropriate in the 21st century.

The man should not have married because of his situation and also our culture... Did he marry the wrong person, yes, for himself. Did she also marry the wrong person - yes! Take him as you find him.

Increase his hustle is what we hear... Very early right? And while he is trying to increase his hustle, should the woman not be supportive and understanding instead of raising the stakes.

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