Of course, it will be nonsense for a non progressive. The answer for most of you is for him to increase his hustle as if you know he is not trying or the answer is to pray or accept that as a man he has to slave in a marriage...

That is why the rich always get richer and they marry other rich people. If a man wants to marry a broke woman and an entitled one too because of stupid tradition and religion, that is their problem.

Poverty exist and poor people still deserve love and understanding...

There are broke ass women and family abroad too... In the UK, there was a programme called Jeremy Kyle - there, you see how people (mostly poor) in UK are not so disimilarYou think social security payments cover everything? There are white folks visiting food banks, prostituting themselves and begging. Poverty is poverty but it is not a crime to be poor or to be a poor man.

Kapilta:
Honestly after reading this your gibberish, i think your wife married the wrong man actually and not what you insinuate.

Buy 150k land so you can join in building another set of slums in 2021 when we are already tired of the ones that abound everywhere. Poverty mentality kill you there.

And the lady is even supporting you one way or the other while pushing you to become your best version but poverty mentality has taken over your body and soul already.

Useless lots, when they find angels trying to bring out the best out of them in life they start to complain because they are so used to status quo. Nonsense. Poverty mentality kee you dia once more.

Good perspective but wrong tone because you are too harsh on the Op.

RisenPhoenix1:


I saw it earlier, but didn't want to grace it with a response if not for your mention. I'm actually speechless as to how to advise him. The op is the author of all his misfortunes, yet he's wondering whether he married the right woman. A woman is how you train her. Let me write out an analogy and tell me how you will advice such a person. Here goes:

I bought a brand new Toyota Hilux, tear rubber on credit. I've still not been able to pay the seller and he keeps incessantly reminding me of my debt, even though he gave me a receipt in advance.

I don't like to check the water levels in my radiator, and sometimes when I do and there's no water, the tap is too far from my garage so I'll drive it without topping the water. Recently it started overheating, that was what first got me thinking.

Brake oil is too expensive, so I don't gauge the brake oil levels in my car. After two brake failures leading to accidents, I'm getting confused about what to do.

I forgot to put engine oil inside my car after I drained the sump, and my engine knocked. Now it's not even moving at all,and the cost is prohibitive.

All these incidents make me wonder whether Toyota Hilux is the right car for me at all. Please advise.

1,2,3...go.

Lol, double wàhálà for dead body.


I always love to read your words, they are always powerful.

BadRadio:
Terrible story with shocking innuendos and mundane malapropism

Lol, u have reminded me of literature as a subject, far back in sec sch. I love that subject

So, a woman marries a broke poor man with the help of his family and there after expected him to behave financially as someone that is alright.

He made a mistake but I also blame his family and tradition/culture... In our country people are ready to lend you money for functions and events but no education or business or other progressive matters.

Your wife also now strongly believes that the marriage was a mistake - she probably did not think it through properly or expected things to go certain ways. Or perhaps like one of my sister-in-law, she thinks just because the family as a while is alright, they will take care of her and her broke family and her entitlements.

Sad! She has called your bluff on the divorce thing. She is ready to move on too... So, your move!

The wife is ok as per what was written and the low expectations of Nigerian women but I cannot abide by women thinking their money is just theirs and the man's hustle is for everyone including her family. Nonsense in 2021!

Bennysam:

She do not marry you because of love but because she’s aged and she doesn’t have another choice, you’re only option available

it's quite obvious the wife don old

You are a matured man and u are here talking like a baby! First ask urself what u think u know about ur wife before you married her? You obviously know nothing which means all the years of courtship was a waste! Truth be told it will get to a stage that u will not be able to say a word in that house if u don't correct this anomaly! If I were in ur shoes, I will make that statement 2 more times and I will damn the consequences and that's for a start!

TrueChristians:
You married your wife without the direction of God you married in flesh , My brother seek the face of Jesus Christ ask for his direction am 100%sure the rightful person you will marry is still single .. look deeper and be spiritually Alert , sorry to say that your marriage will always start and end with quarrels and bitter heart she May never agree with you on any issues , Honestly you married the WRONG LADY

You are hasty in your conclusion. Remember, Christian are not to judge anything before time. Even if he missed it in marriage, there is no situation that is beyond redemtion. our lives ain't beyond redemption, how do you think someone else's marriage is beyond redemption? If you read the article very well, you should be able to deduce that this is as a result of finacial pressure which with time when they sit down and talk the issue over with advice from good people all around, they will get over it. The marriage is too young for you to give such conclusion. I pray that God make a way for the guy and uphold his family.

with all dat u ave explained, to me u are guilty ooo... where are d families dat sponsored ur wedding now, are dey experiencing all dis with you? u borrowed money from madam for an apartment of her choice without considering u bin able to sustain it..... u need to be man enough and stand ur ground on wot u can afford without bin at anyone's mercy.. well, u can keep yielding to her satisfaction if she is taking d responsibility of the head of the family.. in asmuch as u shud not disregard her opinion u too shud not fail in realising wot u can afford... two good heads are better than one not just a head ooooo... Goodluck.. and moreover, always know dat every marriage gat it's own horrible side but we all package it to make it work out.. fight for ur marriage if u wants it .Goodluck

You did not make mistake. Both of you just need to understand each other better to live better.

Other points to note:

1. Look for the money and pay up the outstanding bride price. It will continue to affect your manly pride if it remains unpaid;

2. Reason with your wife but don't allow yourself to be pressured into doing things you will come to regret later;

3. Your wife needs to be less selfish; if she has the money she should contribute to the family finances rather becoming a lender to you.

4. Don't give up on your marriage because it can still work.

5. Please don't think of divorce, even if you joking. If you have the time pls see the article in this link: https://victorscorner.com/2016/10/07/towards-a-better-marriage-7-shut-the-door-on-divorce/

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggarrrr
Isoright.....
See threat ....
Fear nor let the op talk am the second time again....
Bros op don't know what he has put his hand into.....
And children never start to dey come now..
If God want fuckkk you up the more now he go first give una triplet at once...

You think marriage na child's play...all those them bros don jazzy way never one hurry enter you think say them nor know wetin them dey do

But bros op ...where them for dey sell land 150k ...
Make I come buy like 20

you sick ����

SmartyPants:


So how is it help if she is doing it for selfish reasons?

So assuming the couple have no kids, the only help a woman can render to her husband is to use her money to cook food that they will eat together once in a while?

lol...Nigeria my country.

No one loves a man, men are just slaves in this world, only your child can love you or your wife can indoctrinate them to hate you. Just do your thing.

Where is 2 bedroom 100k please...
In which country?

@DEmejioba1,

You didn't marry the wrong person.

The first 3yrs (shorter for some and longer for others) is the getting to understand each other years in marriage and many people go through this stage that is unspoken of nor taught anywhere.

Maturity is required in dealing with a spouse.
So tell yourself you won't take alot to heart when things are said between you guys.

She is your treasure, protect her and love her and over time I am sure she will return the love and understanding u truly seek from your woman.

Don't get yourself into petty arguments, it doesn't portray you as the man or example for her to follow.

I left out the monetary aspect because there is no substitute to not having money in a marriage.
Your best bet is to plan with what u have and don't make yourself a willing tool for indebtedness.

Wish you the best of your early years in marriage.

Useless shameless man. Reason women should not bother going all out for most of these men. They are never satisfied and very ungrateful.

TrueChristians:
You married your wife without the direction of God you married in flesh , My brother seek the face of Jesus Christ ask for his direction am 100%sure the rightful person you will marry is still single .. look deeper and be spiritually Alert , sorry to say that your marriage will always start and end with quarrels and bitter heart she May never agree with you on any issues , Honestly you married the WRONG LADY

Honestly speaking, nothing is wrong with his wife. Just a financial problem and teething problems that are always associated with young and new couples, we all passed through that phase. At least, my wife and I did.
Then, Op should know how make firm beneficial decisions for the family and stand by it

But one huge mistake u made was to go for a marriage without you having the dowry !
Geeeezzz
That's the first thing u were suppose to have before thinking of even sewing any new dress for the occasion.
Now ...to mend things... Pay the balance so u can regain your prestige as a man and a husband.

Cut your coat according to your available material

KLand:
You did not make mistake. Both of you just need to understand each other better to live better.

Other points to note:

1. Look for the money and pay up the outstanding bride price. It will continue to affect your manly pride if it remains unpaid;

2. Reason with your wife but don't allow yourself to be pressured into doing things you will come to regret later;

3. Your wife needs to be less selfish; if she has the money she should contribute to the family finances rather becoming a lender to you.

4. Don't give up on your marriage because it can still work.

5. Please don't think of divorce, even if you joking. If you have the time pls see the article in this link: https://victorscorner.com/2016/10/07/towards-a-better-marriage-7-shut-the-door-on-divorce/

Nice one

simplepee:
Useless shameless man . Reason women should not bother going all out for most of these men. They are never satisfied and very ungrateful.

You don't need that, op doesn't need it. Point out his mistakes and advice him if you have any. His marriage is young, he's still learning and understanding things.

malcom1X:


No one loves a man, men are just slaves in this world, only your child can love you or your wife can indoctrinate them to hate you. Just do your thing.

Na. This line of thinking is a Nigerian thing. I'm thankful that I have been privileged to see love from the perspective of other ethnicities so I know this is not how it should be and it is not how it is in other countries.

Your issue is finance, not your wife.
Hustle up and your home will be blue.....

Emperorx:
Please which state do u reside that u want to rent house with 60k and buy land for 150k

maybe Ebonyi

afilaka:


If my husband had taken this advise when he wanted to start his business, i am sure he wld stil be in the police station nw cos the other option for him was a bank loan and unfortunately business did not go as planned ,returns didnt start when expected until like few months after and i must say i am glad he didnt make his ego overshadow him. That business has turned our lives around, i used to earn more than my husband before but with this business,my salary is like tithe to him.

Ladies,if you have the means,please help your husband and dont ever use it against him. Mine paid me back and added a whole 25% to it, even if he did nt pay back,i wld ve stil be patient because he is hardworking.

Good one ma! Also women should know that a man and a woman after marriage are one, nothing like my money is my money and his money is our money, good men would always make their women happy, as such women should support in every way they can without necessarily expecting something back in return, you did well ma

SmartyPants:


Na. This line of thinking is a Nigerian thing. I'm thankful that I have been privileged to see love from the perspective of other ethnicities so I know this is not how it should be and it is not how it is in other countries.

I agree with you my brother, even devoted Christian , Muslim girls think this same ,the few who don't are outliers, whose perception of what a union should be was influenced by their upbringing or exposure and such women are few and far between and can even be indoctrinated by friends and bad experiences from men, but still I few a man needs to have his dignity protected, there never should be anything like "my money is my money and yours is ours" in a healthy union, since both parties are working towards the same goal, but this is Nigeria sha, I have seen men who collected money from their wives to invest in businesses that would bump up the income of their families, but eventually were unlucky with the results they expected and had to borrow money from elsewhere to pay back their wives ...my advise still is to marry someone you can control

JudgeKronos:
Oga,
I bet my January salary, your wife is from Imo State...

No be lie oo.
Currently imo girl dey deal with me after three children. I can't even advise my enemy to marry from imo, these set of people are just too mean, wicked, greedy and heartless.

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggarrrr
Isoright.....
See threat ....
Fear nor let the op talk am the second time again....
Bros op don't know what he has put his hand into.....
And children never start to dey come now..
If God want fuckkk you up the more now he go first give una triplet at once...

You think marriage na child's play...all those them bros don jazzy way never one hurry enter you think say them nor know wetin them dey do

But bros op ...where them for dey sell land 150k ...
Make I come buy like 20

I don laugh scatter
My guy you too funny

DEmejioba1:
I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.

To cut the story short,

Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families.

The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it.

Secondly, immediately after the marriage,I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.

Thirdly, few months after our marriage. We were having misunderstanding and I carelessly said if the marriage can not work it better we go our separate ways, my wife holds on this statement and continue saying that she just need me to say it twice more and the marriage is over.

But I used to think over all these with other ones that I cant write, then, I ask myself if truly she loves me or may be am with wrong person.

What is your thought about this?

You give woman sperm, she process and give you a child. Never speak carelessly, Never promise her anything, cause she won't forget. Don't talk and do. Do and talk.

Your wife is trying to boost your self-esteem, appreciate her. And pay her money. If you borrow from bank or friends, don't you payback with Interest?

Double your hustle

Bro, don't build house yet, try out some business , buying and selling, edibles or farm produce.

All women are the same. If Trump or Boden or Buhari tells you what their wives are doing them , you will be shocked. Way forward is to bear until you get a better job to update your responsibilities.Dont use that bad statement on her again. Things will be alright

onome2013:
All women are the same. If Trump or Boden or Buhari tells you what their wives are doing them , you will be shocked. Way forward is to bear until you get a better job to update your responsibilities.Dont use that bad statement on her again. Things will be alright

Onome na be so

This is what you get when u marry a broke Nigeria man.

Your wife marries a broke poor man with the help of his family and there after expected him to behave financially as someone that is alright you label her wrong partner.

A broke man that wants to divorce, sey u shut up by force talk to her like that again na and watch her kick u out, see why a lady should financially stable before getting married if the Op is financially ok he would have ended his marriage over is own fault.

Wicked man of an ungrateful mind.

Did she marry herself?

Are you living in the apartment with yourself?

Family means partnership.

You two are supposed to SHARE the burden of living.

Did you guys know each other before marriage?

DEmejioba1:
I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.

To cut the story short,

Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families.

The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it.

Secondly, immediately after the marriage,I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.

Thirdly, few months after our marriage. We were having misunderstanding and I carelessly said if the marriage can not work it better we go our separate ways, my wife holds on this statement and continue saying that she just need me to say it twice more and the marriage is over.

But I used to think over all these with other ones that I cant write, then, I ask myself if truly she loves me or may be am with wrong person.

What is your thought about this?