Firstly, there is nothing wrong with your wife or marriage you are just being under pressure by your inner self who is telling you something is wrong with her. Have you asked yourself why you married her and why you think she is acting this way? . Firstly, she saved you some embarrassment with the dowry issue which you should have paid pronto before she asked.
Now see what you should do, start being a good husband by doing romantic things and please don't fake it. What It takes for you to have a good marriage is all in your hands. While you think your wife is the problem you will find out after you both sit and talk that the biggest problem is you. All what you should do is sit her down and have a good conversation with her telling her the plans you have and how you intend executing them with her help.

The problem is yourself, you know you are financially stable and you got into marriage, unless if you are older 35 years but if you are below that age you rush into marriage with no adequate capital, what if you start having children. Who will pay hospital bills and the pressure of house rent, feeding and others.

This exactly how you hear a story of husband stab wife or wife stab husband because without adequate capital in a home there will be katakata, at a stage your wife will start fucking around to sustain the children.

Bennysam:

You’re talking nonsense, two shall come and become one, he don’t own her anything she doesn’t save him from any embarrassment rather she brings that embarrassment to him

How please?
it's like you can't deduce from the post that OP is an arrogant type.

Sometimes you need to use a balanced sense of judgement not blaming opposite sex all the time

malcom1X:
Guy be a man.
Don't ever borrow money from your wife to do anything. If you don't have tell her you don't have. That her money should be spent on her children.

Pay her dowry, don't owe her, it's her money. She saved you from embarrassment.

Op better pay what he owe!!!!

JudgeKronos:
Oga,
I bet my January salary, your wife is from Imo State...

If knew anything about Imo State you'd have known that women don't collect bride prices

Though, I only read your story to paragraph 3. Again, I need to mention this, I do not know your tribe oooo.

But to me its like you sold your birth right. You wife told that she will announce that she has collected the dowry, what an evil.

Summarily, you need to be a man and be in charge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some women are not weaker sex but rather wicked vessel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Land is 150k in your area?? please what area is this

I think she also means well, but she just need to understand that, you people need to take things gradually. Both of you are in it together, no need of trying to impress anybody. If she is working, both of you should put head together financially to run the home.

stop thinking if you have married the wrong wife. NOBODY MARRIED ANGEL.

BigSarah:
No you're looking at it the wrong way, the problem is you got MARRIED.

would be a pleasure to engage you in a convo....your assertion up there just made my day

These occurrences do not imply that she's the wrong partner.
I have to say that in some of these cases, you've acted immaturely, such as threatening to end the marriage. You also started thinking of accommodation after the marriage. Really!?
If you've not been able to pay her back her N50k for over two years, it tells me you're not thinking big and are not making enough effort to build your marriage. Truth is women love money, no matter how spiritual they are. Get used to that fact, and let it drive you to work hard and seek extra streams of income. Think big. Read helpful books. Renew your mind about money making and being a better spouse.
Your wife will respect you more when you're better.

gbengaoyeladun:
May we not get marry to a wrong partner

Imagine reneging on your word. That can erode all trust. In all ramifications, the OP is wrong. If I’m the wife, I will be so annoyed.

Na money way no dey, listen to Davido song assurance, na waiting most women want be that, sorry about that

BigSarah:
No you're looking at it the wrong way, the problem is you got MARRIED.

I wish i can like this twice!
How will someone who cannot even afford to rent a decent apartment proceed with Marriage?
They say love is blind, the cost of diapers will open your eyes to reality!

I dnt know d kind of men we have this days.
In my home, there is notin like my money or your money.
I earn x2 of wat my wife earns and she knows I have asset b4 I married her.
Now everytin is ours.
No mine or urs.
I dnt understand wat u mean by borrow from her. Can one borrow wat rightfully belong to him?
If ther is a financial obligation b4 d family, weda from ur side or from hers, check d family account and agree togeda on how to fulfil d above mentioned.
Dem say Marry a wife in ur league of control, una no dey hear.
Now Bush meat don catch hunter
Thank God for d kind of wife God gave to me

You should search your heart if you truly loved her... because all you wrote here are just minor issues that couples settle. All you need is God's blessings so that some of the expenditures won't be too big for you to handle.

Please where do you reside, so I can get a land of 150k

BigSarah:
No you're looking at it the wrong way, the problem is you got MARRIED.

Simple! He thinks boyfriend & girlfriend is same with marriage. Love doesn't replace responsibilities that are real in marriage.

Xisnin:
You are the wrong person!
You couldn't take care of yourself while single but you thought it wise to engage in a
family-sponsored marriage.
Did your family also promise to help you run your marriage financially?

Your wife didn't force you to do anything, you agreed to it even though you could have said no.
Forget what you see in Hollywood, love is overrated and is insufficient to run a stable marriage.

All I can see from this story is a man suffering from financial woes and trying to blame his wife for it.

One way to reduce your stress going forward is to stop accepting suggestions that you will end up regretting later on.

Snippers are still cheap. Do you want this young man to commit suicide?

But she covered your shame by claiming she had collected the dowry, why have you not given her the dowry since 2018? Na wa.

Besides You should have paid the 20k Dowry during the wedding its not too much please no matter how broke you were haba. These things have their significance its not proper to borrow such or letting your wife give you the money.

Why are you even threatening your wife sef,

You see someone ready to struggle with you wahala again.

Nawaoo

That's not an excuse,no one should rush you or push you into marriage or pay bride price when you know you don't have the money

Na you get your money so you should have waited for a convenient time when you know you have the money to pay the price price even if na 100k

Apartment should come first before bride price..why the rush

Learn to be cautious of your word,the word you said to your wife is enough to break your home.

You are not married to the wrong person, you are not just man enough to manage the woman you married and your marriage.

Women aren't perfect and so are we men. So learn how to manage your wife's excesses while also consolidating on her strengths.

Recently, it's like you married people are always looking for a way to escape from your marriage, rather than face the issues in your marriage.

You're not married to the wrong woman, and if you are, you made the choice for yourself.............so double up bruv!!!

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggarrrr
Isoright.....
See threat ....
Fear nor let the op talk am the second time again....
Bros op don't know what he has put his hand into.....

You think marriage na child's play...all those them bros don jazzy way never one hurry enter you think say them nor know wetin them dey do

But bros op ...where them for dey sell land 150k ...
Make I come buy like 20

damu nigga




u get 3m na him u dey lament say u abandon ur small bungalow u dey build for sapele road benin City?

malcom1X:
Guy be a man.
Don't ever borrow money from your wife to do anything. If you don't have tell her you don't have. That her money should be spent on her children.

Pay her dowry, don't owe her, it's her money. She saved you from embarrassment.

@Bolded is my submission. OP should not blackmail that woman. She's entitled to that money because she did agree to save him from that embarrassment. He should even ask himself how many women in all reality these days will agree to marry a guy who can't pay meagre bride price of 50k.

Truth is, the OP must man up. Marriage is not all bed of roses. There are a lot of things to be endured. Women are nearly the same and they only vary in one or two things character-wise. And if as a man, you really think you've completely known your girl before wedding then you must be suffering from the greatest deceit ever.

OP is only having issues and regretting now because he can't cope financially. And money has a way of shaping the characters of women. For me, I can't see anything the woman has done wrong. Living in a room with a wife is hell enough. Not paying up her dowry as you promised for over 2years will keep her depressed and at little challenges you keep telling her she can go a separate way from you. Who threatens such?!

you no get money, you go marry..Wife dey vex, you dey complain..Don't you even have shame?
You are sleeping with her and you haven't even paid her bride price whereas our Bros is up there, after bride price ,father say till 2 months...Rabbish

i reserve my comment......................................

The lady is not a wrong woman bro.. She is just reacting to the situation on ground (financial status). The mistake you made was not to give her d dowry on that marriage day.
Islamically, that's not allow and more also, not any right to determine the amount been paid because it has value every yr, though, it rightfully belong to the wife Sha.

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggarrrr
Isoright.....
See threat ....
Fear nor let the op talk am the second time again....
Bros op don't know what he has put his hand into.....
And children never start to dey come now..
If God want fuckkk you up the more now he go first give una triplet at once...

You think marriage na child's play...all those them bros don jazzy way never one hurry enter you think say them nor know wetin them dey do

But bros op ...where them for dey sell land 150k ...
Make I come buy like 20

Come Oyo state u go see d one of dat 150k divide by two.
But it's either Fulani herdsmen kill u or u kill dem.cos na dem go be ur neighbors there

DEmejioba1:
I got married in 2018,since then I have been battling with some unimaginable experiences with my wife even when I thought I married to a religious lady.

To cut the story short,

Prior to our marriage, things was not so good enough for me but because of age consideration of both of us we decided to wed with the help of our families.

The first thing that happened which caught me thinking afterward was that during our make up to wedding,my wife insisted that she's receiving 50k dowry which she knew I wouldn't be able to get it just shortly before the wedding. I told her that there is no way I could afford it then that she should reduce it may be to 20k, she said I should not worry that things will be sorted out. A day to the wedding she told me that when it's segment for dowry collection that she would pronounce that she had collected it. I said no problem. Since then I have not been able to pay it because she wants full cash. Now, any slide misunderstanding she refers to it.

Secondly, immediately after the marriage,I was left with 60k which I thought we would manage to get a room and a parlour apartment for a start, just to do according to my pocket in my present rent house. But my wife insisted that we should let 2 bedroom flat at 100k but knowing fully that my source of income would not maintain it couple with other obligations that I would be discharging. She said, she would lend me 40k.
Thank God I was able to pay her the money. But still thinking over wasteful of almost 50k,while 150k can secure a land for bulding house in my area.

Thirdly, few months after our marriage. We were having misunderstanding and I carelessly said if the marriage can not work it better we go our separate ways, my wife holds on this statement and continue saying that she just need me to say it twice more and the marriage is over.

But I used to think over all these with other ones that I cant write, then, I ask myself if truly she loves me or may be am with wrong person.

What is your thought about this?

My brother, uwa bu ofu mbia. Meaning our stay on this earth is just once, so make maximum use of it. Your wife seems to be taking advantage of your vulnerability. Do not allow anyone to push you around. There is nothing wrong in your wife lending money to you. But do make sure to pay back at your convenient time. Remember at your CONVENIENT TIME. Use dialogue to iron out your differences but if she still insist on using your vulnerability to blackmail, exploit or take advantage of you. Then it's time you put your foot down as a man. If she truly loves you, she'll mellow down and understand its no longer business as usual. But if she still insist? My brother, that woman wasn't meant for you. It's time to lock up and say goodbye for your sanity. Good luck!

It's not about her, it's about you. You need to put your house in order and understand that what really matters is your decision. Why should you worry about age to get into marriage in the first place. Please don't blame her. Ladies are emotional beings, never say words you don't mean, they don't forget. She loved you enough to marry you even when you didn't have even money for dowry. Please think about the children when they start coming i guess that would motivate you to do what it takes to make things work. Get a side hustle or what ever. PLEASE, don't later come here to say she forced you to get a 5th child, it's all on you bro.

You decided to enter into marriage because age was against you. Poverty is upon you if you don't hustle hard.

Make money and all these petty issues wouldn't be.

oga you're very wrong.. appreciate that woman and provide for your family and stop complaining you made that very bad statement against your union still you're still finding fault with your wife?! this is new year start again to make your home happy let's start again, try and God will bless your home!