abimic:
beze992,what's your take on this?

Like I always say, love goes beyond romantic feelings, it's commitment, you decide to commit to someone despite all odds. So yes, God can ask you to marry someone you don't have romantic feelings for because he sees beyond the carnal, doesn't attach sentiments like we do cos he knows in the long run, it would have been the best decision for us.

Some of u guys u would lock urself inside ur room from mornin till night without going outside with d excuse dat u are introvert and u expect God just to magic a partner for u just like that cos u be prayer warrior ni?
Same also with some ladies.u don't want mingle but u want God to magic one handsome rich dude with sixparks to marry u .
If u looking for a partner try and mingle and be sociable plus it will also be time to take pains to improve ur physical appearance to appeal more to the opposite sex.dats how it's done . don't let any pastor scam u and tell u to give him money so he will fast for u and make God to give u a partner .Go out..make friends
Enlist in a gym
Join a social club
Use the social media
If u do all these no how no how u will get the type of partner u looking for.

mamaafrik:
God ways are not our ways,he chose the stammering Moses instead of Any eloquent one,he asked Prophet Hosea to marry an harlot,Ayo babalola refused to marry God chosen plan,who was said to be a mentally challenged woman that God used him to heal,he didn't like her and listened to The church elders who thought like "how can a whole you marry a heal madwoman", they found him a "good in the eye "woman who later became a witch and cut short his Great life mission,I will advice that you seek 3-4 Genuine men of God for confirmation,if it tallies,please forget spec,he may be seeing your future And averting you a misstep,Shalom

he shouldn't forget spec.those pastors who always say physical appearance is not important wen looking for a partner biko how many of them have u seen been married to ugly women
Wat u like might not be wat op likes physically in a woman
If op loves tall ladies then he should go for what he wants
But then wen going for ur spec u can always make a compromise cos realistically it's not possible for a person to just have all d complete package u want.

Beze992:


Like I always say, love goes beyond romantic feelings, it's commitment, you decide to commit to someone despite all odds. So yes, God can ask you to marry someone you don't have romantic feelings for because he sees beyond the carnal, doesn't attach sentiments like we do cos he knows in the long run, it would have been the best decision for us.

Apt, quite incisive, such a polished response. Your first line of sentence nailed it. So how are you doing this morning?

lefulefu:
he shouldn't forget spec.those pastors who always say physical appearance is not important wen looking for a partner biko how many of them have u seen been married to ugly women
Wat u like might not be wat op likes physically in a woman
If op loves tall ladies then he should go for what he wants
But then wen going for ur spec u can always make a compromise cos realistically it's not possible for a person to just have all d complete package u want.

see where you carry talk enter

abimic:

Apt, quite incisive, such a polished response. Your first line of sentence nailed it. So how are you doing this morning?

Great, you?

Sometimes love grows on you.

Have you and this lady had any kind of relationship before?

It is good to marry your friend because marriage lasts a lot longer than the wedding.

Please note that if you do try to work out a relationship with this girl, who is already your friend, you HAVE to be serious about it.

Franky, the relationship can only end for SERIOUS reasons.

wahoom:
Hi Fellow Nairalanders,

I have been trusting God for a spouse for a while now. I have prayed and fasted and even did all that is expected of me but unfortunately haven't been that lucky in relationships.

However, on the 1st of January, 2020,, I fell into a short trance where i saw myself with a lady in a thanksgivings procession in church. In that trance i felt an unspeakable joy and supernatural peace which lasted hours after the trance.

The lady in question was someone i met online but we had only met once prior to that time, however, we are very close as we chat almost every other day and had got to know a lot about each other online.

I wasn't too comfortable with the trance i had as i wasn't the physically attracted to the lady.

In April 2020, I had a dream where the lady visited me in my family house and my parents and siblings bonded well with her and in that dream my mum said quite a lot of postives about her and I also had that same supernatural peace I had in the trance even hours after waking up from sleep.

So, I started working on my emotions to like and accept her but each time i tried I hate her the more.

Recently, I told my mum about her and she said exactly everything she told me in the dream in verbatim. I was quite shocked and felt it could be divine and that got me working seriously through prayers and also trying to adjust my emotions to accommodate her but each time I see her, I just have hatred for her as I'm not in anyway attracted to her. I'm not feeling her, no excitement, no butterflies in the stomach, no longings to hang out with her, not even sexual attractions, everything is just flat.

So, I eventually decided to withdraw from her even though i felt there's this divine compulsion or better still divine leading that she's my wife.

Folks, please i need your help here.

Hence, this question, CAN GOD LEAD YOU TO MARRY SOMEONE YOU DON'T LOVE OR ATTEACTED TO?

elmagnifico411:
Isaac did not find his own wife, Abraham asked one his workers to go find him a wife and it worked out eventually. Let the young man be.

The only thing that worked was the kids they had.. Isaacs marriage had issues, the wife was a master manipulator... The man lived a bitter life so much that he had to ask his son to make food so that he could eat and be happy. Even untop that his wife still couldn't let him eat and bless his son in peace. If Isaac was married in the 21st century he would have divorced Rebecca.
God won't give you a wife that you re not attracted to.. Even Adam was blown away when he saw eve for the first time.

Blabbermouth:

If you are talking about YHWH, the God of Isreal, then the answer is NO.

How do you mean?

boxer022:


How do you mean?

God will not compel you to marry someone you don't love.

addictiv:


[s]The only thing that worked was the kids they had.. Isaacs marriage had issues, the wife was a master manipulator... The man lived a bitter life so much that he had to ask his son to make food so that he could eat and be happy. Even untop that his wife still couldn't let him eat and bless his son in peace. If Isaac was married in the 21st century he would have divorced Rebecca.[/s]
God won't give you a wife that you re not attracted to.. Even Adam was blown away when he saw eve for the first time.

all of you people misquoting and lying with scriptures be careful

Blabbermouth:

God will not compel you to marry someone you don't love.

I have this belief which is that everyone has destined person to spend the rest of their life with. God can guide you to the right and destined partner who He created for you from your missing rib and you decide to not be with that person in the name of not been in love with that person, for sure you will have yourself to blame. God cannot force you to do anything, He will only tell you what to do, It is now left to you to either accept to do it or leave it. The issue of marriage is not a child's play and if you make mistake in it, you will regret for the rest of your life.

Do I believe God can choose a wife for you. No! Bible said ask God and it shall be given to you. So ask God for another girl. But remember, Bible also said you can't understand the way of God.
So use your head.

baralatie:

all of you people misquoting and lying with scriptures be careful

obviously we dont all have the same level of understanding so its normal to disagree..The story of Isaac is well-known and the notion that he had a perfect marriage with Rebecca is very wrong . Was she destined to be his wife? maybe she was. Was she a model wife...No, she wasnt. if you feel differently go and read your scriptures carefully. Most times we feel that if something is ordained by God then there will be no challenges involved or unsavory outcomes which is utterly false. An uncle wanted to end a relationship with the lady he was dating back then, on his way he met a female prophet who told him not to carry out the decision in his mind, that if he did he would regret it. After listening to her de changed his mind and married the lady. this was over 20 years ago. As I speak to you the marriage is in shambles, the woman doesnt live in her husbands house anymore. The man had challenges and the woman relocated with the kids and left him to suffer. Was she his God given wife? maybe she was.. was she a model wife?.. I ll let you be the judge.

addictiv:

obviously we dont all have the same level of understanding so its normal to disagree..The story of Isaac is well-known and the notion that he had a perfect marriage with Rebecca is very wrong . Was she destined to be his wife? [/b]maybe she was. [b]Was she a model wife..No, she wasnt. if you feel differently go and read your scriptures carefully. Most times we feel that if something is ordained by God then there will be no challenges involved or unsavory outcomes which is utterly false. An uncle wanted to end a relationship with the lady he was dating back then, on his way he met a female prophet who told him not to carry out the decision in his mind, that if he did he would regret it. After listening to her de changed his mind and married the lady. this was over 20 years ago. As I speak to you the marriage is in shambles, the woman doesnt live in her husbands house anymore. The man had challenges and the woman relocated with the kids and left him to suffer. Was she his God given wife? maybe she was.. was she a model wife?.. I ll let you be the judge.

I would advise you to read the story of isaac and Rebecca very well because you are misquoting and introducing the wrong issues into Isaac's marriage with Rebecca.
Again go and read and put into proper perspective the Isaac and his wife Rebecca marriage and stop introducing conjectures

dermmy:
Hmmmm. Yes God can lead you to marry someone you don't love. Yes! Capital YES

OK let me put it this way. God can lead you to someone your carnal nature does not love. And if you are in this situation you are still carnal. Carnality here does not mean you are a fornicator or pervert and the rest but you see we Christians who professed to be born again children of God still have some weakness and carnal expectations that manifest itself in this kind of scenario.

The time to choose your life partner is the time you yourself would know if you still crave for the things of the flesh or the will of God for your life

The will of God is to give you a partner that will give you peace in your marriage. A partner that will help you to serve God not a partner that I'll take your carnal cravings to the next level. Though I don't know what you want in a lady but what I know is the will of God at times doesn't always align with our own will because of our carnal nature.

It's so sad today that children of the most high God let their carnal nature to lead them. There are ladies in my church who want tall, 6 packs, rich and handsome guys. Guys want to marry busty, curvy and beautiful ladies too. These are children of God who claim to be walking in the spirit. I am not saying this is bad but these outside qualities we seek are not enough to give us good marital partners and it is so sad that we put these things first.

What if the guy does not know God. What if he is into alcohol, Indian hemp, womanizing and the rest. What if the lady is a LovePeddler. To us all that matters is the outside qualities. But all these outside qualities won't sustain your marriage. It is character.

You've prayed and fasted and God has given you confirmation yet your flesh is still going against the nudging of the Holy Ghost. Well, the will of God doesn't always go in line with our own will. In this case your flesh is still leading you but God won't force anyone on you. You have a free will in this regard so you can still go for your heart desire.

When it comes to marriage you have to accept some qualities about that lady/guy. For me all I want is a partner who loves God, a lady that will help my ministry and calling, a lady that will give me peace of mind and the bitter truth is her curves, big breast or beauty won't help my destiny but her character and the spirit of God in her.

That means purpose is what I seek in marriage not beauty that will fade one day.

I have tried to love her and accept her but she's far from me, she's in Abuja while I stay in Lagos. I have only seen her like 3 times or so, there's has been no opportunity for us to bond very well and that is also one of the reason the feelings has not been growing.

Am I supposed to ask her to relocate to Lagos?

Here's what you should do: table the matter before God and ask him to help you fall in love with her and be physically attracted to her if truly,she is His will for your life.I've heard people say that this worked for them. This is important cos it's dangerous to marry someone you are not attracted to.You can't pretend ooo.You know that you're a Christian and adultery is not an option.Be careful.Don't be scared that God will interpret your questions as faithlessness.Check out Gideon.He asked for multiple confirmations and it was granted him.

boxer022:

I have this belief which is that everyone has destined person to spend the rest of their life with.

Let us deal with facts here and not mere opinions or fantasies - Show me 3 bible Characters God specifically picked a wife for.
Let's start with Adam. God made Eve, but nowhere did he (God) mandate it to Adam and said - Take Eve, She must be your wife. 'Twas Adam himself who picked Eve by confirming her to be bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. If Adam had said He doesn't want Eve, so would it be!
Cain picked a wife of HIS choice.
Abraham picked a wife of HIS choice.
Isaac was given one, but she was HIS choice.
Jacob chose a wife of HIS choice. (He got double in the process though).
Moses picked a wife of His Choice.
Samson chose a wife of HIS choice (even if she was instrumental in his destruction, God respected Samson's choice)
David Chose whom he Wanted.
Solomon married whoever he wanted.
Need I say more?
God can definitely give you a range, something like - Hey, don't marry anyone not born again.
But, He won't say - Take this one, she's you destiny partner. If you don't marry her, you won't ever marry anyone.

So, am I proposing that choosing a spouse doesn't require God at all? God forbid!
Learn from David, the best person that can be your counsellor is God himself.
When you see someone you love (the first step) and she loves you in return, ask the LORD - Shall I go further?
If he says NO, then trust Him, He has his reasons.
But you know what is certain? There are 10,000+ girls out there God will tell you "My son, carry on" if you happen to meet them.
When you know this, you then realize that there is no destined soulmate. A man MAKES HIS OWN soulmate and God stamps his seal on their union.

The issue of marriage is not a child's play and if you make mistake in it, you will regret for the rest of your life.

I can show you many marriages the spouse will tell you - God confirmed them. But guess what? Those marriages are nothing to write home about.
Even Atheists marry happily. Muslims marry happily.
If your marriage is a mistake, it's your fault, not God's nor anyone else's fault.

wahoom:
Hi Fellow Nairalanders,

I have been trusting God for a spouse for a while now. I have prayed and fasted and even did all that is expected of me but unfortunately haven't been that lucky in relationships.

However, on the 1st of January, 2020,, I fell into a short trance where i saw myself with a lady in a thanksgivings procession in church. In that trance i felt an unspeakable joy and supernatural peace which lasted hours after the trance.

The lady in question was someone i met online but we had only met once prior to that time, however, we are very close as we chat almost every other day and had got to know a lot about each other online.

I wasn't too comfortable with the trance i had as i wasn't the physically attracted to the lady.

In April 2020, I had a dream where the lady visited me in my family house and my parents and siblings bonded well with her and in that dream my mum said quite a lot of postives about her and I also had that same supernatural peace I had in the trance even hours after waking up from sleep.

So, I started working on my emotions to like and accept her but each time i tried I hate her the more.

Recently, I told my mum about her and she said exactly everything she told me in the dream in verbatim. I was quite shocked and felt it could be divine and that got me working seriously through prayers and also trying to adjust my emotions to accommodate her but each time I see her, I just have hatred for her as I'm not in anyway attracted to her. I'm not feeling her, no excitement, no butterflies in the stomach, no longings to hang out with her, not even sexual attractions, everything is just flat.

So, I eventually decided to withdraw from her even though i felt there's this divine compulsion or better still divine leading that she's my wife.

Folks, please i need your help here.

Hence, this question, CAN GOD LEAD YOU TO MARRY SOMEONE YOU DON'T LOVE OR ATTEACTED TO?

My Ans To Ur Question Is "YES" God Can. U Asked Him To Choose 4 U, He Has Chosen 4 U. Just Accept It. If Truly It's 4rm God, It's Good 4 U. In summary, God Won't Give U Who U Like. He Will Only Give U Who U Need.

Yes God can ask you to marry someone you don't love, most especially if you've been engaging him in prayers for the sole purpose of him helping you find a life partner. God will respond by giving you a lady regardless of whether or not you feel anything for her cos he (God) has seen the future and knows that she's the only one who can actually give you the kind of love and peace you deserve.

You might not feel anything for her currently, but if truly you're sure that it's God's voice you heard, please go ahead am marry her cos God will never give you a gift that will destroy you.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.

Blabbermouth:

Let us deal with facts here and not mere opinions or fantasies - Show me 3 bible Characters God specifically picked a wife for.
Let's start with Adam. God made Eve, but nowhere did he (God) mandate it to Adam and said - Take Eve, She must be your wife. 'Twas Adam himself who picked Eve by confirming her to be bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. If Adam had said He doesn't want Eve, so would it be!
Cain picked a wife of HIS choice.
Abraham picked a wife of HIS choice.
Isaac was given one, but she was HIS choice.
Jacob chose a wife of HIS choice. (He got double in the process though).
Moses picked a wife of His Choice.
Samson chose a wife of HIS choice (even if she was instrumental in his destruction, God respected Samson's choice)
David Chose whom he Wanted.
Solomon married whoever he wanted.
Need I say more?
God can definitely give you a range, something like - Hey, don't marry anyone not born again.
But, He won't say - Take this one, she's you destiny partner. If you don't marry her, you won't ever marry anyone.

So, am I proposing that choosing a spouse doesn't require God at all? God forbid!
Learn from David, the best person that can be your counsellor is God himself.
When you see someone you love (the first step) and she loves you in return, ask the LORD - Shall I go further?
If he says NO, then trust Him, He has his reasons.
But you know what is certain? There are 10,000+ girls out there God will tell you "My son, carry on" if you happen to meet them.
When you know this, you then realize that there is no destined soulmate. A man MAKES HIS OWN soulmate and God stamps his seal on their union.

I can show you many marriages the spouse will tell you - God confirmed them. But guess what? Those marriages are nothing to write home about.
Even Atheists marry happily. Muslims marry happily.
If your marriage is a mistake, it's your fault, not God's nor anyone else's fault.

I understand your points but must point out the following:
1) For Adam, the Bible recorded that God saw that Adam had no companion or helper which made Him create Eve from his missing rib as a helper or companion for Adam.
2) Solomon made his choice of marriage and where did it lead him, after marrying all those women it led him to worship other gods apart from GOD.
3) Samson was also warned not to marry outside his tribe but due to beauty and love, it cost him his life.
God specifically warned the Israelites in the bible against marrying outside their nation.
Following the topic of discussion you will read that he prayed and fasted for God to show him his wife and the lady God showed him was not the lady he loves. Since he put his trust in God and asks for His direction, which he got response then why is he going against what God showed him in the dream?

boxer022:

I understand your points but must point out the following:
1) For Adam, the Bible recorded that God saw that Adam had no companion or helper which made Him create Eve from his missing rib as a helper or companion for Adam.

Nowhere did God ordain Eve as Adam's wife. All God did was to make Eve and bring her before Adam. If Adam had said - No, I don't want her; so would it have been.

2) Solomon made his choice of marriage and where did it lead him, after marrying all those women it led him to worship other gods apart from GOD.

David also made HIS choice. Like I said before, you make that choice and live with whatever comes out of it.
The good thing is - You can also make God your counsellor.

3) Samson was also warned not to marry outside his tribe but due to beauty and love, it cost him his life.
God specifically warned the Israelites in the bible against marrying outside their nation.

His choice, His cross. Bring out others that made nice choices, did God compel anyone of them to marry a particular person?

Now, there was this prophet who God said He should take a prostitute for wife (Take note - He was a prophet). Guess what? He still picked the prostitute of His choice.

Following the topic of discussion you will read that he prayed and fasted for God to show him his wife and the lady God showed him was not the lady he loves. Since he put his trust in God and asks for His direction, which he got response then why is he going against what God showed him in the dream?

He is wrong or mistaken! Concerning who you wife, God can counsel you, but He will not compel you.

God will never give you who you don't like. At the end, the OP will commit Adultery, or worse, take a divorce.
Then I will ask him - Who do you think was the architect of this mess you are in?

baralatie:

see where you carry talk enter

I carry talk reach dere cos we should be honest
The pastor go marry woman wey Im like den Im go come dey tell me make I marry someone wey I no know or like cos God tell am vision say I must marry dat woman.who is fooling who? Anyway na timid men dey fall for such